Текст книги "The Watcher"

Автор книги: Lisa Voisin

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“What if…” I began, then paused, waiting for him to want to hear what I had to say.

“What if what?” he asked, kissing my neck. I held my breath so I would be forced to gasp, to elevate my own breathing.

“What if I wanted you more than him?”

His eyes glowed red. “I can make that possible for you.” He then lifted his hand to my forehead again and I could see the dark swirls coming off his fingers. All I had to do was let him touch me and I would want to be with him. All of this would be easy.

I shook my head. “It won’t be real if you force me.”

He stared at me a long time, as though trying to figure me out. I did my best to give him a smoldering look. I still heard fighting in the next room, but couldn’t move to watch what was going on. I just prayed that Michael was safe. Arielle, too. At the very least, I needed to keep Damiel distracted.

“Why wouldn’t I want you just for you?” I put on a smile, stroking his chest. “Have you seen you?”

He let out a deep laugh that sounded even more inhuman than before and kissed my neck, his teeth grazing my throat. I gasped involuntarily with fear but pretended to enjoy it.

“If you want the love that should be Michael’s,” I said, “you can have it.”

He hesitated. Envy is the act of wanting what another person has. Once something was given freely, would it mean the same? He said he wanted me to look at him the way I looked at Michael. Would it work? Would he still want my heart if it didn’t belong to another? I remembered how I felt with Michael, the breathless need to connect, and I tried to show that in my eyes. I could only hope he bought it. Then he kissed me again, hungrily, without gentleness, as his hands explored my body. I squirmed involuntarily; luckily he took it for pleasure.

I kept talking and, not sure what exactly to say, I ad-libbed. “Yes, you can have me…and I will have your son, as I did so long ago.” He let out a grunt of pleasure hearing that, which told me I was on the right track. “Let Michael keep his goodness…”

Hearing that, he stopped kissing me. A snarl formed on his face.

Ignoring the threat of his rage, I continued, “And his redemption.”

Damiel sat up abruptly, his eyes flashing red. For a moment, I thought he might hit me. “I don’t want that!”

“Good. Everyone leaves me. Even Michael. I can never be with him. All he cares about is seeing Heaven again, his home. He misses it. There was never a day in our past that he didn’t, and I wouldn’t want the same from you. I need a guy who knows what he wants.”

The fighting sounds in the background slowed. I held my breath in the eerie quiet, waiting to see who won.

“I did miss it,” Michael’s voice echoed from the doorway. I bit my lip, trying not to show my relief at seeing him alive. Even with dark rings under his eyes and blood and black fluid matted in his hair, covering his clothes, he was a glorious sight. Light seemed to emanate from him. “Every day on earth, as beautiful as it is, can never touch the beauty of Heaven.”

Rage exploded through Damiel like a firecracker and he was on his feet. “Why won’t you die already?” Turning to his opponent, he poised himself to attack. Michael tilted his head to one side and swung out his sword, ready.

“No. Wait. Damiel. Please hear me!”

He backed up, a step out of Michael’s reach. Not letting Michael out of his sight, Damiel wouldn’t turn to look at me, not even for a second. “What is it, sweetness? Don’t you think your charade is over now?”

“No. I don’t want him to hurt you.”

Damiel gave me a triumphant grin. Michael looked defeated. All I could do was pray he’d understand what I was doing and count on the fact that he could feel my feelings and know the truth.

“You’re not going to leave me, are you? Go back?”

This time Damiel did look, and Michael could have taken a shot but didn’t. Instead, he watched me with curiosity as the demon asked, “Back where?”

“To Heaven,” I explained. “If Michael had a shot at redemption after all his sins, why wouldn’t you?”

My words hit Damiel like a blow, visibly shaking him.

“It’s only fair.” Arielle stepped through the doorway, covered in grime and dusting black soot off herself. “She’s right, you know,” she said, her face perfectly neutral. “You could always come back…if you wanted to.”

“It would be work,” Michael said. He glanced at Arielle, and a look of understanding shot between them. “A lot of work.”

I had no idea if what we were saying was true, but it seemed to have an effect. Energy swarmed around Damiel like black angry wasps, as though he were being stung by his own greed. He rushed Michael, and in turn Michael raised his sword and dug it into Damiel’s—or, rather, Giulio’s—body. As I had seen before, the body went limp, undamaged. Only this time it was different. Michael stood fiercely, watching the body, or rather the energy around it, form into a dense black swirl.

Accompanied by a loud electrical cracking sound, the swirl grew and began to take on a skeletal shape, growing taller and taller until it almost touched the ceiling. Then it fleshed out, literally, as black sinews and muscles grew over the bones. The body resembled the hooded creatures Arielle had been fighting—only much larger. Strong and completely hairless, it towered at least six inches above Michael. Tattered, leathery wings sprang from its huge, spiny back, but they remained tucked to fit in the small room. The demon turned sideways and its face was pointed, angular. I didn’t need to look into the eyes to know they were red.

It spoke in a deep hiss. “What makes you think I would want to go to Heaven?”

Michael stepped in toward the creature that was Damiel and let down his sword. His eyes ablaze and his halo flaring, he too was something to behold. I’m not sure if it was the sight of him or the danger he put himself in, but I had to remind my heart to beat.

“Because,” he said, “I remember who you are.”

Damiel stood transfixed, and Michael leaned in to place a hand on his opponent’s heart.

A golden fire blazed between them, engulfing and searing the demon. Screaming, Damiel writhed and squirmed in the heat of the flames, while Michael stayed cool. When the flames burned out, replaced by a golden light, Damiel’s skin turned a light bronze, as though an image had been superimposed over him. His features softened, hair returned to his head, his wings became feathery and light. This was who Damiel was. We were seeing his angelic self.

Then Damiel’s screams of pain turned to ones of anguish. His body shook as the grief consumed him, driving him to his knees. Underneath, the black being that he had become writhed in agony, but Michael held his ground, as though holding in place the image of who Damiel used to be.

“You can choose to be that again,” Michael offered. Beside him, Arielle stood impartial as a judge, her face a mask of calm scrutiny.

I sat up on the bed and closed my blouse, awed by the sight of them. The light shining from the two of them brought tears to my eyes. This was what Michael was, his purpose, and no matter how much I wanted him, my feelings couldn’t matter more than this. Nothing could.

The choice was Damiel’s now, as the demon part of him bucked and roiled like an angry tide. Yet there was another side of him that seemed at peace. As the demon stood again, these two halves seemed to battle each other in a struggle for dominance. The cabin’s small windows rattled, extinguishing candles from the force of it. Michael stood in the center of a beam of golden light, as though he were in the eye of a tornado.

“Has he chosen yet?” he asked Arielle.

She shook her head. “He’s without remorse.”

For some reason, Fatima’s reading from the day before came to me. I remembered her words in my head: You have been given a gift of love, and for it you must love, beyond anything you’d ever imagined before.

Love. In order for Damiel to have remorse, he needed to feel love. I needed to remind him what it was. Michael wasn’t the only one who needed to remember. Damiel needed to remember, too. Realizing this, I connected with a force I’d never felt before. It filled me, thrumming through my body like a huge river that connected me to all of life.

Everything I’d ever done, every mistake I’d ever made was seen, and it was strange, like having your life flash before your eyes. I recalled the anger toward my dad, the judgment I sometimes had for no good reason, the secrets I kept from my friends, and even breaking up with Michael. All of it. In that moment, it had all been forgiven. I just had to accept that it was so, and I could do what I needed to do.

It wasn’t about me anymore. I remembered my past life with Michael: how I felt because he gave up so much to be with me, how I felt I betrayed him when I didn’t tell him what Damiel had done. A serene voice in my head told me to stop blaming myself, that it was never my fault—and I believed it. Taking a deep breath, I let this feeling in as tears welled in my chest.

Then I was on my feet, walking toward them like I was floating, held in a giant spotlight. Michael’s eyes widened as I approached, first with concern, then with awe.

“Mia,” he said. “What…”

I shook my head and Arielle touched his shoulder to silence him. She motioned to me with her eyes and I could hear her inner voice, the one she used for telepathy, say to him Wait.

I didn’t have time to process how strange it was to hear her. Instead, I walked until I stood between him and Damiel, and I grabbed the demon’s hand.

Up close, he flickered, a broken filmstrip, alternating splices of angel and demon—beatific one moment, horrific the next. Facing the demon, I stared him down. “Love, Damiel. Do you remember it?”

I should have been terrified as the demon glowered at me, while the angel part cast his eyes down in shame. But I wasn’t. Not only was Michael there, and Arielle, but I was protected by something much bigger. I felt connected to them, as though I had been given a chance to do an angel’s work, even in human form.

Images of Damiel from millennia ago came to mind. He had once been gentle and fair—a being of love. I saw faces of the other Grigori who mattered to him, friends. “You loved God…and your brothers…” Then I saw my own face in that lifetime so long ago. “You even loved me, once.”

The demon snarled and raised a hand to silence me. Michael instinctively raised his sword, but Arielle held him back.

“You hurt those you loved, and those who loved you… And I know that it hurt you to do it. On some level, it hurt.” I squeezed his hand as the angelic part of him winced. Still furious, the demon glared at me—malicious but visibly weakened. Its weakness gave me strength. “Because you turned your back on what you are, and you have lived for so long now without love that you forgot what it’s like… But deep down you remember. I know you do. Deep down, I know you feel bad about what you did. Don’t you?”

I had the angel’s complete attention. Its eyes, full of tears, blazed at me through a golden light, while the demon turned away, and a voice unlike any I’d heard Damiel speak with before said a quiet yet resounding, “Yes.”

I knew exactly what I needed to say. I didn’t question it, and the words I’d heard Michael use before rolled out of me like music. “You are loved. You are forgiven. Everything you’ve done is forgiven.”

The angelic part of Damiel shook, slowly at first and then violently, as the demon struggled to be freed. Arielle said one word.

“Now.”

Faster than sound, Michael raised his sword and thrust it into Damiel’s heart, and the sword that did no damage to human flesh burned and seared the demon, leaving the angel’s image behind. The image itself faded quickly, having only been held in place by Michael’s focus. The demon let out loud, horrible shrieks as steam and black, sulfuric smoke escaped its body, deflating him. To speed the process, Michael raised his sword above the demon’s head and cleaved what was left of its body in two.

The entire room filled with a corrosive black smoke that stung my eyes and tasted of rotten eggs. Beneath it all was a flicker of golden light, a tiny sphere not much bigger than a firefly, but it grew brighter and stronger as it rose to the ceiling and hovered there.

Then a tear opened in the middle of the living room, as though the room itself and all the furniture in it was projected onto a curtain that was being ripped open. Behind that was a mouth to a different reality—a very dark and upsetting one. On the other side, I could hear moans of agony and roars of pain that made the hairs on my neck stand up. The tendrils of black smoke hanging in the air were sucked right into that mouth, slowly at first, and then building in speed as if the mouth were inhaling just the smoke—leaving everything else behind. It took seconds for the room to clear, and once it was done the mouth closed and the tear sealed itself. The room was ordinary again, and someplace far away I heard the clanging of an iron gate.

All that was left was the golden ball of light, which had grown to the size of a giant beach ball. It circled the room and hovered in front of Arielle, who smiled at it as though they were having an exchange I couldn’t hear. A moment later, it floated toward Michael, who bowed his head. Then it came to me. Not sure what to expect, I tensed.

Arielle placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s all right.”

Taking a deep breath, I looked at her and then back at the golden ball of light. It was warm and pure. As it approached, its presence tingled my skin.

Put out your hand.

I didn’t know where the voice came from—so deep and melodic—but I obeyed, and the golden ball landed on me like a rare, exotic bird. With it, a sense of warmth and gratitude ran up my arm.

Thank you, it said.

And in a flash it was gone.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The look on Michael’s face was one of awe and reverence as he encircled me in his arms. “Do you know what you did? You gave a demon a chance at redemption.”

The light that had filled me began to fade. It was replaced by the warmth of Michael and an incredible sense of peace.

“Is that good?”

“Very.” He smiled, his gaze tender as it held mine. “That took real courage. I wish you could hear the celebration on the other side.”

“Can you?”

“Yes.”

I blinked back tears. His shirt was ripped, his hair messy, but he was alive. Even covered in blood and grime, he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

“Fatima told me to love, and I just remembered it.” It probably didn’t make any sense, but it was all I could think to say. “What will happen to him now?”

“There wasn’t much of his angelic self left. We had to time it right; if you hadn’t got him to feel any remorse, he would have just been sent back through the gates of Hell.” He pulled me closer to him. “But you did, and he had that slightest bit of remorse that made it all possible.”

I didn’t say anything, waiting for Michael to continue. From his answer, I still didn’t know what would happen to Damiel.

“We cleared the darkness off of what was left of him. That is really big, Mia. We seldom reclaim demons as far gone as he was. Not even I went that far.”

“I’m so sorry,” I blurted out, remembering that the reason Michael went to Hell in the first place had to do with my death and the belief that he’d killed his own son. “I should have known that monster was never yours. I don’t know why I didn’t tell you…I couldn’t—”

Michael put a finger to my lips. It was rough from being cut and it tasted of blood and burnt flesh. His. “It’s all right.”

“You’re not mad?”

He let out a soft laugh, his eyes shining brighter than I’d ever seen them before. “Mad? No.”

We were so connected, his relief washed over both of us, and something else—something effervescent and warm. “What was that?” I asked.

“I’m glad you’re safe,” he said. His expression darkened as he glanced at the bed behind me. “You were lying there, not moving.”

Touching the side of his face, I turned his face back to mine. “I thought that, too, but you were playing dead.”

He grinned. “Minions are pretty easy to trick.”

“I’ll remember that next time.”

“I hope you never have to.” Carefully, he touched my cheek, avoiding where I’d been struck. Even though the bleeding had stopped, it throbbed bitterly.

A warm, tingling sensation soothed my skin as he extended his halo around me. “Hold still.” He placed his fingers where I’d been hit. A hot brightness shone around that side of my face. It stung at first, but then the throbbing pain slipped away as shadows do in daylight. When he was done, I felt fine, as though I’d never been hurt. I touched my skin; other than the left-over dried blood, it was smooth, without scars.

“You healed my ankle that day in the woods,” I said, putting the pieces together, surprised at myself for not recognizing it before. The pain had been agonizing right after I fell and then got better in his presence—of course he’d healed it.

“I couldn’t bear to see you hurt. Not then. Not ever.”

“How did you find me?” I asked. “I could have been anywhere.”

“It was hard. Damiel knows how we work, so he hid you well. But I found you the same way I always have. I felt you.” Then he laughed to himself and his eyes lit up. “You know, I can’t explain it, really.”

“Then don’t.” I leaned into his chest and inhaled the grassy scent of his skin. He was covered in sweat and blood and God knows what else, but I didn’t care.

Behind me, Arielle placed a hand on my shoulder, and I sighed. Surely she wasn’t going to split us up. Not again.

“Michael’s right,” she said. “You did good work tonight.”

“You must have known…”

“God doesn’t tell me everything. I knew you needed to remember, but I didn’t know you would be able to get Damiel to a place of remorse, and forgiving him…” She smiled and a wave of warmth wafted off of her. “Brilliant!”

Before what she said could sink in, Giulio stirred and sat up. Groaning, he rubbed the back of his head, and I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He probably hurt everywhere.

Arielle approached him. “Hi,” she said, smiling. “I’ll bet you don’t know how you got here.”

He nodded, and Arielle helped him up, holding his wrists. She didn’t let go of them when she spoke.

“You were possessed by a demon. I know it sounds weird.”

“Uh, okay.” Giulio staggered a little, baffled, as though he’d just woken up. In a way, he had.

“We’ve dispatched the demon that did this, so now I can remove the mark it left behind and you can forget any of this ever happened. I hope you understand.”

She placed her hands on his heart and her halo flared a brilliant white, enveloping both of them. Giulio’s body relaxed and he smiled with relief. He looked young, and in his groggy state, kind of sweet, nothing like the brutal, malicious spirit that had possessed him.

When she was done, he said, “I couldn’t possibly forget all of this.”

“You will,” she said, walking him to the door. “But you’ll know this: that life is a great mystery, one you have yet to really discover.” She stopped at the door. “Oh yeah, and on your way back, turn left on the gravel road, and then left on the main road. Drive downhill all the way back to the freeway. You should know your way home from there.”

“Uh…thanks. I think,” Giulio said. “I’m sure I’ll remember someone as beautiful as you.”

Arielle waved goodbye and closed the door, then said straight-faced, “They all say they’ll remember me. They never do.”

Serious, fierce Arielle had made a joke, and it took me by surprise. I laughed, and she and Michael both joined me, their spirits high from winning the battle. Then, not wanting to burn the cabin down, Arielle cased the room, snuffing out the remaining candles. Michael and I headed outside. The cold air refreshed my skin.

He had no vehicle with him, so we had to fly back. This time he took me directly home without circling the harbor first. The night sky shimmered and sparkled brilliantly above us and the city shone below. It was our time together. He was sharing an experience with me that I’d never have with anyone else. Anyone who wasn’t an angel.

Michael dropped me off before he went home to clean up, and I asked him to come back later so we could talk. On the front doorstep I found a small box, and inside was another necklace from Fatima. This time, she left me a note:

Mia,

I wanted to replace the necklace that got broken. This time, it’s been blessed by a Muslim priest and a Catholic priest. It wasn’t easy. I had to tell the Catholic priest I was thinking of converting—which I’m not. I hope God understands.

Fatima.

P.S. Things have been a little strange lately, so I got some for your friends Heather and Fiona too.

I would have to thank her for both her advice and the necklaces later. She had no idea how valuable they were. The thought that my friends would also be protected filled me with relief.

As I went inside, I was glad Mom was working all night so I wouldn’t have to explain where I’d been. She would never have to know how close her daughter came to being a mother herself. Having sex with a demon, even using protection, couldn’t be considered “safe” by anyone’s standards.

After having been through so much, I felt like a different person. Things I’d never noticed before had more meaning for me now. Even my home seemed different. I needed a shower, so I went to my room to grab my bathrobe, and once I was surrounded by all my things, a wave of gratitude flowed through me, bringing tears to my eyes. Being with Damiel was horrific, but the memory slid to the back of my mind like a bad dream. I was still alive.

I took a long, hot shower to wash away the blood and shock of everything that had happened. When I finished it was almost midnight, and my cell phone rang. I scrambled to find it in my room, plugged in beside the bed. Who would call this late? At least it could no longer be Damiel. He was better now—surely not in Hell again.

It was Bill.

“Where’ve you been?” he demanded, sounding worried. “I’ve been calling for hours. I even tried calling the house. Is everything okay?”

I didn’t know what to say. The memories of what had happened were too new to tell anyone—if I ever could. My throat tightened. “Yeah.”

Bill let out his breath. “I had this weird feeling as if something was wrong.”

Bill had a feeling? Some kind of premonition feeling?

He cleared his throat. “Then I called and there was no answer.”

Perhaps I wasn’t the only person in my family who sensed unusual things. Maybe I did see angels, flashing lights, and demons and stuff, but maybe Bill sensed things, too.

“Stupid, isn’t it?” he scoffed.

“No, not at all,” I said, thinking about how much Bill had changed over the summer. How alike we were. How even though Dad was all awkward and distant with me, Bill never was. “It means a lot—that you called.”

“We’re family,” he said simply.

I’d just had the craziest night of my life. I’d been captured by a fallen-angel-turned-demon. I’d thought I’d lost Michael for good, only to watch him get up and battle a roomful of hellhounds and minions—not to mention Damiel himself. Connected to God or whatever force the angels connected to in their network, I’d been able to forgive a demon for all the horrible things he’d done. Maybe, just maybe, there was hope one day for me and my dad.

“Yeah.” I grinned. “We are.”

After I hung up with Bill, I checked my messages. It was a busy night. Aside from four voice messages from Bill, I had half a dozen texts from Heather trying to convince me to come to that party they were all talking about last week. Apparently it was really good. Everyone was there. Even Fiona made a brief appearance. Nothing, not even demons, could keep that girl down.

Heather also left me a voicemail. I could hear music playing and people talking in the background.

“Hey, Mia. I’ve been checking around and the coast is clear. There’s nobody named Chloe here. She’s off at school, and apparently she’s not all that. So you can come, right? Call me.”

I couldn’t help but smile when I heard it. Heather was matchmaking again, in spite of herself, trying to fix something she saw me struggle with a few days before. She had no idea what I’d been going through, but at least she cared.

As I got into my pajamas and dried my hair, I wondered what would’ve happened if I’d told Heather how I felt about Michael right from the start. Would I have ever accepted that date with Damiel? Or discovered how Michael and I were connected? Maybe I couldn’t bring her along with me into this part of my strange new life, but she was my friend. With all the angels—and demons—around me lately, I needed someone to bring me back to earth.

A few minutes later, Michael arrived. Standing in my doorway, with his hair still damp from the shower and his skin smelling of soap, he made me the happiest girl alive. Tears welled in my eyes and I almost couldn’t speak.

His clear blue eyes softened as they searched my face. “You okay?”

Swallowing hard, I nodded and stared at him. There were tiny red lines on his skin, but they were all that was left of the huge gashes from his battle with Damiel. As he stepped inside and circled me in his arms, his energy felt warm and intoxicating. He was alive. He’d come for me, saved my life, and now he was here—despite everything I’d said earlier, despite the way I’d pushed him away.

“About breaking up with you…” I said.

He stepped back, his hands grazing the sides of my waist. “Yeah?”

“I was trying to keep you away. I thought—”

“I didn’t trust you?”

“That you’d get killed.” I touched the side of his face.

He covered my hand with one of his and its warmth raced through me. “You thought you’d just tell me to leave and I’d go away? When I knew how much danger you were in?”

When he put it that way, my plan sounded foolish, considering he’d been there watching over me so many times. “Something like that.”

“So you do want to…try to be with me?” Leaning closer, he gave me a hopeful look. “Given all that it means?”

“Yeah.” I draped an arm around his shoulder, bringing his face even closer to mine. “Think you can handle it?”

His lips curled into the sexiest grin. “I’ll do my best.”