Текст книги "The Wanted"

Автор книги: Lauren Nicolle Taylor

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 24 страниц)

“These mushrooms taste like dirt,” I murmured at my plate, wishing instantly that I could pull the words back into my mouth. Silence capped over us like someone had placed a glass jar over the whole table. Flustered, I tried to cover my comment. “I mean, sorry. Like a nice kind of dirt. I mean,” I tapped the plate with my fork, “I’m used to dried meat and stale bread…”

Everyone looked to Grant for a response. I got the sense they didn’t breathe without his say so. His face was hard but he laughed, spitting it out like stale milk. When he finished laughing, his family stared at him, waiting for a more appropriate reaction. Camille looked down at her plate and then at her children.

“Poor child. She doesn’t know what real food tastes like.” She spread her arms over the table, and I wanted to plant her face in her mashed potatoes.

Denis watched me, his eyes distant but on my lips as I spoke. I felt like I was being measured.

“Yes. Sorry. You’re right,” I muttered as Denis shook his head minutely, almost like he was disappointed in me. Measured and found wanting. I was trapped in this painting with the rest of them, scratching against the scene and trying to force my way out without them noticing. I wanted nothing more than to yell at them, throw the plate up, and watch the sauce splatter their shocked faces as a slimy pork chop tumbled onto the perfect, white tablecloth. I could imagine Camille’s gasp, Grant’s roaring temper. I wanted to point at their well-fed, tinted faces and scream, I don’t know because you made me this way. You’ve deprived us, tortured us, and controlled us for so long. How can you live like this, you selfish, self-serving pieces of garbage? But I said nothing. I ate my food, sipped my cider, and it felt like acid in my stomach. Not speaking was burning a hole through my insides, my personality leaching out of me and leaving me waned.

But I promised.

I promised.

JOSEPH

The morning was frost cold, the fire almost out. The trees dripped water onto our faces from above. Poor Olga stretched and strained, dusting sheets of cracked ice off her jacket and pulling tiny icicles from her thin hair. She wasn’t built for this kind of thing, but I was impressed at how hard she tried. She was always eager to learn, wanting to try new techniques and be involved. We could all learn something from her of how not to give up. I struggled with that myself, but I couldn’t go to her for advice. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I just wanted to talk to her.

You would laugh if you saw it. You’d nudge me and point at her, snickering, and then you would go over, crouch down on your skinny legs, and help her. I knew her, and I knew how she would do things. She stayed with me, even if it hurt more than healed me. Rosa was stubborn like that. I allowed myself to feel her for a second, and it slipped off my body like water before the second was over.

Today was the first day we would really risk our lives. It left us all feeling anxious to get started and apprehensive of the outcome. Desh spent most of the night adjusting the projectors. He made it look easy, although I was sure it wasn’t. But the way that guy’s mind worked, everything just came naturally to him.

I was the first to wake after Olga. Desh lay at my feet, curled into a frozen ball. I nudged him with my foot, and he snorted. A laugh rippled across my face and quickly disappeared, like a leftover heartbeat on an EKG. My smile felt alien, like it wasn’t mine. Like I didn’t deserve to have it.

We packed everything up. Donned our white clothes and crowded around Gus and Matt for final instructions. They made an odd team. Gruff and stoic paired with warm and heartfelt. They stood clear in front of us, Gus always doing something else while talking, sharpening a knife, cleaning his gun, or picking at a slice of jerky. He didn’t like sitting still for too long. I understood that, being still left your mind to thinking.

Shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet, Gus addressed the group. “Bataar and Willer.” He pointed at the men and they stepped forward. “Since this is our first attempt, we have the element of surprise. I want you to aim for the center circle for the video. I’ll leave it to your judgment where to plant the bomb. It’s timed to go off two hours after you press the green button. If you think it best to blow it quickly to ensure your escape, the minute button is red. For instant detonation press the red button twice.”

He wiped his nose with the back of his hand and continued, “This particular mission is complicated. This was Gwen’s stop, and as we know, she was unsuccessful and didn’t return. Our Spider is still in there, and we need to retrieve them. They don’t know you’re coming though, so tread carefully.”

“With the bomb, just make sure it’s no more than a few inches under the ground and as close to the wall as you can get it,” Desh added excitedly.

Matt connected with the men’s eyes. “If there is any risk, any doubt in your minds during the mission, pull out,” he urged. “Your safety is more important.”

Bataar spat on the ground and chuckled. “I think we can all agree safety is not the first thing any of us are worried about! We just want this to work. The girl sacrificed herself for this…”

Heads swiveled in my direction, and I shrunk down. Olga’s soft hand patted my back, and I wished I could run out of there or the ground would swallow me.

Gus cleared his throat, bringing their attention back to him.

“We don’t know what will happen. How they will react, if they will react. But by the end of today, we will.” There was sureness in his voice. And knowing Gus, he wouldn’t have agreed to this if he didn’t think it had a chance of working.

Everyone nodded solemnly, except for Bataar, who spat and joked with a knobbly grin on his face.

We held onto our hope and made the descent towards Birchton.

Soft ground gave way to sharp rocks as we stepped off the edge and down. Eyes always ahead, scanning the top of the walls of the rocky town for movement. It was hard to see though as the sun bounced off the rocks and snow blindingly.

The slope was gentle but slippery with ice. Dark caves stared at us as we carefully made our descent. It was easy to lose yourself and your friends in all this white. It would be easy to disappear…

We moved slowly, picking our way between loose sheets of rock, hiding, checking, and slipping on the growing ice. My nose was numb, and snowflakes clung to my eyelashes. I focused on what was just ahead of me and nothing more.

Desh clapped his hand on my shoulder and breathlessly said, “Well, it’s certainly different to Bagassa.”

I nodded, saving my breath for the climb. I felt bad that I wasn’t talking to him very much, but the words stuck inside my mouth were not good ones. Until I could let go of my anger at him for pushing me to leave her, it was better to say nothing.

Rash came up by my side and slammed into me with his shoulder. “Move,” he muttered.

I stepped aside for him, watching his dark head bob further down the rocky surface. “Rash,” I said. He turned and glared at me, I leaned back from the razorblades emitting from his eyes. Not because it scared me, but because there was something of Rosa in him, and it cut me. “Put a hat on. Your hair stands out too much against the snow.”

I caught him mumbling as he shoved a white cap over his head. “Yours doesn’t, you blond jerk.” I was no longer beautiful blond man. I shouldn’t have been relieved, beautiful was much better than jerk, but jerk was what I deserved right now.

“Why do you let him talk to you like that?” Desh asked as he skidded on some ice and flew past me. I caught his arm and pulled him up.

“It’s nothing less than what I deserve,” I said, dusting snowflakes off his jacket.

Desh shook his head sadly. “That’s not true, Joe.”

I shrugged. He wasn’t going to change my mind. Even if I had managed to save her, the ghosts of the men I killed and… Este… I gulped, feeling nauseous; they had a hold on me. I couldn’t forgive myself for that.

I stopped moving. Frozen like their blood-spattered faces.

“Joe?” Desh shook my arm.

The image melted away as the glint of metal blinked at us from the top of the compound ahead. The walls of Birchton were before us, built out of huge bricks rather than one large concrete piece, as the rings lay over several levels, perched on the side of a mountain.

Matt halted us with an outstretched arm. “This is where we stop,” he said, jerking his head towards a cave opening. He motioned to the two guys going into Birchton. “You two go on.” They tipped their heads silently. “You know what you need to do.”

Desh handed them their projectors and the small explosive device for the wall. They patted their packs and waved. We wished them luck and filed into the cave to await their return.

It was late afternoon when they left. It would only be a few hours and we would know if it had worked.

We took turns sleeping.

The cold never bothered me. But the others were shivering and huddling together. Rash especially.

The cave was quite deep, but we stayed near the entrance, ready to watch the show. The snow piled up in front of us and every now and then, the watch would kick over the pile so we weren’t trapped inside. I liked the noise snow falling on snow made, like pouring sand.

I took off my jacket and leaned forward, wiggling it in front of Rash’s glaring eyes. “Here, take this. You’re shivering.”

“Piss off,” he snapped. I let the jacket hang there for a few more seconds and finally, he sighed and snatched it from my hands.

I smiled, which only made him angrier. He pulled the jacket up to his chin and turned away from me, swearing under his breath.

I tucked my back into the cold rock behind me, crossed my arms over my chest, and let my eyes fall. Faster than I expected, my mind crept towards sleep.

I’m buried, and I can’t breathe. Weight is pressing down on me, warm, wet weight. I struggle to find a gap, pushing my hands up against obstacles. I suck in a shocked breath when my fingers get tangled in human hair.

The need to break free is overwhelming, though, and I keep pushing, digging my way out. It’s dark, and I’m glad it is. Something warns me that I don’t want to see what I’m buried under. When my arm pushes out and then my head, I immediately shut my eyes. I stumble over soft, uneven ground. My arm shielding my eyes from the view. My clothes sweat soaked.

“Wake up,” she says over and over again in that soft, husky voice of hers. “Joseph. Wake up.”

I woke, struggling for breath. Would this ever end? Was I always going to hear her voice, see her face, even in sleep? Could I live with what I’d done? The questions were unanswerable, hanging in the air like half-deflated balloons. I hated that I had no answers. I needed to solve this one and I couldn’t. Breathing slower, I focused on my in breath and out breath. I just wanted it to stop for a while. Even it was only for a few minutes. As I breathed, my ribs felt soft, as if the weight of my guilt might actually destroy me.

I let out a sigh of resignation. I would not sleep again tonight. I sat up and felt around in the darkness for my sleeping bag zipper. Light snores drizzled down the walls, the dark shadow of the watch the only movement. Their peaceful noises made me crave empty, fresh air. The watch’s shadow straightened at the entrance as he glanced at his handheld and checked the time. He stood up suddenly and motioned to me. “Wake the others. It’s starting.”

JOSEPH

She always said we were guests. Intruders. I believed her, but I didn’t really consider it. This world was not ours. It hadn’t been for a very long time.

Sleeping bags rustled. People yawned. We were all frozen to our positions from cold but when the watch said, “It’s starting,” everyone jumped up and crammed their way into the cave entrance.

A weak, shooting sound echoed across the rocky valley. A single firework shot into the sky, exploded, and fronds of silvery light cascaded down, fizzling before they hit the ground. The first Signing Day firework for the year was as pathetic as I remembered. One every week in each town, for the next eight weeks, culminating in one last blood-red firework on the ninth Sunday in every town. It was unimpressive, but it was our signal.

Desh pushed his way to the front of the group, gripping his handheld tightly. He swiped the screen, typed in a code, and an enormous rectangular screen of light appeared in the sky over the town.

We all stared down at the movie hovering over the town, holding our breaths and wondering if the citizens of Birchton were looking up. Would this be a night marking the beginning of change or would they shy away from the images and return to their homes? Matt put his hand on my shoulder, and I stepped forward until he could no longer reach me.

The video started at the Classes. A student stepped out of line; a Guardian with a face as blank as an empty notebook strode forward and touched a stunner to her neck. She jolted once and collapsed in a heap at the Guardian’s feet. He stepped over her, indifferent, and then the camera panned to the frightened faces of the other students. No one moved to help her. I remembered being that kid, wanting to intervene but completely unable to. I remembered the look on Rosa’s face when it happened, the way she moved out of her chair but just managed to stop herself. I thought of all the time I’d lost when I walked away from her. I was an idiot.

The video moved on to the breeding facility. Quick clips of girls screaming, fighting against restraints. A baby was born and taken from the young mother. She barely noticed as it screamed, her eyes glazed over, her limbs floppy and weak.

Finally, the video pulled back to show at least a hundred pregnant girls walking in line. I stepped forward out of the cave, my feet sinking in the snow, halfway up my calves. Cold air hit my face, but I couldn’t really feel anything. A pungent smell wafted towards me from the trees beside the cave, but I ignored it. I was chasing a ghost. She was there, up in the sky, her head dipped, staring at her feet as she shuffled through the queues of pregnant girls, her stomach, small, round, and perfect. I took another step, begging for her face—I needed to see her face. The somewhat transparent image wavered under the moon; the stars sat in her hair and across her bowed head like a crown. She was beautiful. As always.

I put my hand to the air, imagining touching her, feeling her soft skin beneath my fingertips, and I thought I might cry. Where are you now?

I had strayed several meters from the cave entrance. The others hadn’t noticed my exit. Their faces were on the images too. Watching. Waiting. Listening for a roar, a cheer, something.

The only sound heard was of snow being compacted underfoot, which momentarily distracted me from the image. I glanced down for a second, but I didn’t want to lose her yet. Beneath me, three figures frantically climbed upwards towards our cave. My eyes returned to the sky and her face was still downcast, her dark hair clumped together and knotted, her hands twisted together in an almost-prayer. Then a woman wearing a white coat blew a whistle and Rosa’s head darted to the camera. I grabbed that picture and held on to it. Rosa’s incredible eyes blinked back at me as big as houses. I gasped and took another step forward, my legs sinking deeper. Losing my balance, I fell forward onto my chest, cold ice spraying into my face.

The three people were closer now, clambering over the rocks towards me. It was Bataar, Willer, and the Spider.

From my position lying in the snow, I looked up and Rosa’s face disappeared. My hands fisted and wrapped around the ice. Was I always going to lose her? Over and over again.

I couldn’t hear the words from here, but I knew them. I helped write them. After the video playback, Pelo’s voice would say, “The Superiors have been lying to you. They have poisoned your water to make you sterile. They are taking what little control you had away from you. You are not safe. Your sons and daughters are not safe. This breeding program is only the beginning. It’s time to stop them. Fight. For your families. For the grandchildren you never got to meet. Tell them NO. We are the Survivors—we were not chosen, but we choose to live. There is a life for you on the other side of the wall. We wait for you to join us.”

The light flickered and dissolved into the air. I stayed in the snow, my chin resting in the ice. I wanted to bury myself until my whole body was numb, but I had to get up, keep moving, and find my way back to Orry, no matter what kind of father I would be when I got there. I pushed up, about to jump out of the snow, when I noticed the three people were no longer running. They crept towards the cave just below me like they were afraid to approach it. I narrowed my eyes. What was going on? It was hard to focus, my brain still clinging to the image of Rosa floating in the sky.

They all stopped near the outcrop just below me. A girl’s voice hissed in my direction, “Don’t move!”

I froze, not understanding why but understanding the urgency in her voice.

Then everything happened at once.

Colliding. Smashing. Loud and confusing.

An explosion shook the ground. Debris spewed from the side of the outer wall of Birchton. I instinctively threw my head to the ground quickly and covered it with my arms. Everyone from the cave and in front of me shouted, “No!” Which confused me further.

Guttural, grunting sounds. Closer and closer. The snow crunched under something enormous. Legs as thick as tree trunks. I turned back to the cave from where I lay. Everyone stood outside, waving their arms and yelling. Rash’s voice pierced through the other noises.

“Run! You idiot! Run!”

The screams of my friends faded into the background as my ears tuned to deep, loud breaths that seemed to echo inside a barrel. I scrambled, my legs grazing the rock underneath the snow and slipping back down. I couldn’t get a hold. I pushed up with all my strength to standing and then fell to the ground on my back.

That was when I saw it from my upside-down position, hurling towards me, white as snow. Thick, wiry, white hair glistened under crisscrossed torchlight as it charged at me with gigantic paws that seemed to run over the snow and not sink into it. It was bigger than a bear, the shape of its head more dog like but with smaller ears. Its black lips pulled back to reveal massive white teeth—threatening, angry teeth. I couldn’t move, for fear, for fascination, for lack of will.

“Get up!” Desh screamed.

It slowed as its head swung towards the people screaming at the cave entrance. But their shouts only enraged it further, and its eyes trained on me as it set into a calculated stalk. It was close, steam pulsing from its wet, black nose, its dark eyes wide. Fur bristled along its back, thick as straws. Its mouth opened in a threatening growl, showing gums pulled back in aggression and teeth ready to tear me apart.

Fear took over and whatever had stalled me released its grip. I tried to get up, to run, to escape this enormous animal. But I was out of time. It was over the top of me, and I could do nothing but stare as it reared back slightly, standing on its hind legs. Its body stretched to the sky, almost ten feet tall, its control almost human—its face nothing of the sort. I closed my eyes as its paws rammed my chest and its full weight came down on me. A rib cracked and my breath was thumped from my lungs. My arms flew up to cover my face. It snapped at me, but my feet planted in its chest, pushing against its heft. I barely held it back and its teeth dragged across my wrists and forearms without really digging in. I screamed in pain.

A shot would alert guards in Birchton of our location so the others approached from the cave, waving their arms in an attempt to scare it off. It took no notice, still straining against my arms to reach my neck. Its mouth knocked against my forearms with such force that it took every part of me to fight it.

Every part of me quickly lost the fight. I couldn’t hold it back any longer. It was too strong. I was too weak. My arms fell down. My body exhaled and went numb. The urgency to flee left me.

The creature’s saliva dripped into my eyes; its rancid, hot breath flooded my senses. Long, claws sharp as scalpels sunk deep into my chest, slowly piercing my skin and working their way deeper. I let out a sigh that hardly had any breath left in it. It was going to rip me open, and I wasn’t sure I cared. Warm blood ran down my sides and into the snow, turning to pink ice.

I closed my eyes, saw the faces of the people I killed, the woman I left behind, and I made the wrong choice.

Just for a second, I gave in.

I let go.

And that was all the creature needed.

Words blinked overhead: I have a son. His name is Orry. He needs me. And then they floated away on the snowflakes with my life.