Текст книги "Deal Breakers"

Автор книги: Laura Lee

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

DEVYN

BRODY LEFT BEFORE THE night game saying he had to collect on a bet but Riley stayed through all three. I’m internally freaking out about how easy it is being with him. Watching him interact with our son is so much better than I had imagined. Who knew he’d be such a natural with kids?

Nate clung to him the whole day, hanging on every word. I wonder if he can sense something. One thing that I’ve learned as a parent is how intuitive kids can be. Nate blows my mind constantly. Speaking of mind-blowing, Riley has me floored when it’s time to put Nathan to bed.

“Can I do it?” he asks.

I crinkle my brows. “Do what?”

“Put him to bed.” He ruffles Nate’s hair. “Would you like that, buddy?”

Nathan pumps his fist in the air. “Heck yes!” He tugs on my pants. “Momma, is that okay? Please?” He extends the last word.

I smile. “Sure, honey. Why don’t you go pick out a book and Riley will be there in a minute?”

Nathan bounces down the hall into his room.

Riley grabs my hand. “Thank you.”

I stare at our joined hands. “Um, yeah. Sure.”

We stand there in silence looking at each other.

Drew gets up from the couch and stretches. “Yeah…so I have to be on shift early tomorrow so I’m going to bed too. You kids have fun. Don’t do anything I would do.”

Riley smirks as Drew closes the door to his bedroom. “Doesn’t he mean don’t do anything I wouldn’t do?”

I chuckle. “No, I’m pretty sure he said what he meant. Don’t get me wrong…Drew’s incredible; he saved me when I didn’t have anyone.” I shift on my feet as I catch his somber expression from my comment. “Anyway, he’s really just a big kid at heart. He definitely doesn’t act his age most days.”

Riley tugs on my hand and pulls me in for a hug. “Hey, I don’t think apologizing for everything is even close to adequate, but you know that I wish I were there, right? Through everything? I don’t think I could ever regret anything more in my life.”

Tears form in my eyes. God, I missed this. “Riley, I—”

“Eeeewwww!” Nathan says. “Are you guys going to make a baby or somfin’?”

“What?” we both ask as we break apart.

“Christopher says that babies get in their mommy’s tummies when grownups hug.”

Riley raises his eyebrows. “Who’s this Christopher kid?”

I laugh. “A friend of his at preschool.” I kneel down to Nathan’s level. “Honey, you see me hugging other grownups all the time. That’s not where babies come from.”

“Well then how do you make ‘em?” he asks.

“Isn’t this conversation supposed to happen much later?” Riley mutters.

I kiss Nathan on the cheek. “I’ll tell you when you’re a little older.”

“Aw, mom!” Nathan whines.

I laugh as I stand up and look at Riley. “He’s all yours. Good luck with that.”

Riley takes Nate’s hand and starts walking down the hall. Nathan continues asking about the birds and bees and Riley looks petrified as he dodges each question. He casts a backwards glance as they step into the bedroom. I give him a thumbs-up and a smile as he mouths, Help.

RILEY

I PLOP DOWN ON the couch next to Devyn about forty-five minutes later. “I can’t believe you just threw me to the wolves like that!”

She laughs. “Oh please! That’s not the worst he’s ever given me. You should’ve been there when he asked, ‘Mom, why does my wiener get big when I touch it a bunch?’”

My eyes widen. “What? He gets boners?”

“Yep. Playing with his junk is his new obsession. It’s totally normal at this age. Kids are curious. He doesn’t really understand what he’s doing.”

My jaw drops. “How do I not know this? I’m a guy! I don’t remember being obsessed with my junk until I was at least thirteen.”

She starts laughing so hard tears are coming out of her eyes. God, she’s beautiful. “You’re obsessed with your junk, huh?”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant,” I smirk. “These days, I’m much more obsessed with boobs. Come to think of it, it was pretty much the same back then too.”

She looks down at her chest. “Yeah, well, sorry I don’t really have the goods to help you out there.”

I follow her gaze. “Boobs are boobs, Devyn. Big or small, I love them all.”

She looks up and catches me staring at her chest. “Yeah, right. That’s what every guy says when he gets stuck with someone who has small boobs. I know you all really wish we looked like porn stars.”

I clench my jaw. It pisses me off that she still has these insecurities. If Jackson were a real man, he would’ve squashed them by now. I lean forward and look directly in her eyes to punctuate my next words. “Are you really doubting me? Do I need to prove it, Devyn? Say the word and I’ll make sure you have no question about it.”

DEVYN

“SAY THE WORD AND I’ll make sure you have no question about it,” Riley says.

Oh God, why did he have to say that? Now all I can think about are unbidden images of me and Riley together. Naked and sweaty —in all sorts of compromising positions.  The sexual tension in the air is palpable. I think I groan. I’ve never felt something this electric with anyone but him. Jackson’s the only other man I’ve slept with, but I dated other guys before. The chemistry was never even close to what Riley and I have. Sadly, not even with Jackson. Sure, I’m attracted to him, and our sex is…good. But with Riley, I could practically orgasm just hearing his voice. I feel like some sex-starved demon possesses my body right now.

I take a few deep breaths before replying, “Riley, I think it’s time for you to go home.”

He blinks a few times. “Is that what you really want?”

Yes. No. Ugh, I don’t know.

I close my eyes. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“Devyn, look at me.”

My eyes snap open. “What do you want me to say here, Riley?”

“I want the truth. Do you really think I can’t feel how much you want me right now? Do you really want me to leave?”

I steel my resolve to do the right thing and not be ruled by my stupid hormones. “Yes, I really want you to leave.”

His jaw tics as he stands up. “Fine. Go ahead and lie to yourself if it makes you feel better.” He walks to the front door and opens it. Before leaving he adds, “But Devyn, you and I both know that won’t last long. You need to think long and hard about what you’re going to do about it. I think you know me well enough to know where I stand on the subject. And if there’s any confusion, I’d be happy to clear it up. Just say the word.”

RILEY

I CAN’T BELIEVE ANOTHER work week is ending. I haven’t seen Devyn in almost two weeks mainly because we’ve both been working such crazy hours. We’ve talked every night about the daily minutia of our lives but mostly about Nathan. She’s sent me dozens of pictures, told me stories about his childhood, her pregnancy, all the stuff I’ve missed out on. It still kills me that I wasn’t there but I love hearing about everything from her point of view. She’s so animated when she talks about our son. Hearing her laugh about something totally inappropriate he said during the day is priceless. I’ve tried shifting the subject, dying to get more information about her relationship with Jackson, or how she feels about the possibility of us, but she shuts me down every damn time. I’m so desperate to hear anything and everything about Nathan though that I let her.

We decided that we’re going to break the news to him slowly by scheduling family outings. I smile when I think about that. I have a family of my own. It’s not just me and my folks anymore. Speaking of, they took the news much better than I expected. I took full blame for the situation. I wanted to make sure they never faulted Devyn for her actions. We both made shitty decisions back then but it was ultimately my pushing her away that created the domino effect. They’re flying up next week to meet the two people I love more than anything and I can’t wait to show them off.

It’s been tough putting any plans into action so far because Dev’s been working twelve hour days, six days a week. She normally does the nine-to-five thing but she’s trying to nab a big client so she can get promoted. Her pitch is next week and she promised we’ll schedule something afterwards. I Googled kids’ activities around Seattle and already have a huge list of things I want to do with them.

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I smile when I see her name on the display. “Hi there.”

“Hi. How was your day?”

“Good,” I reply while moving throughout my condo switching off lights. “I have news.”

“Yeah?”

I slip out of my jeans and climb into bed. “Yep. I made an offer on a house today.”

“You what?” she shrieked. “Didn’t you just buy the condo?”

“Nah, it’s a rental. I didn’t want to buy anything until I knew where I’d be settling down.”

“I’m confused.”

I laugh. “Well, you see…there’s this girl that I thought was living in Portland. Seattle is the closest place where I could become gainfully employed but I planned on commuting if need be. I was originally looking at real estate halfway in between. Turns out, Seattle’s where I’m supposed to be.”

She’s silent for a moment. “Riley…”

“Yeah, baby?”

She blows out a breath. “I don’t know what to say to that. Jackson and I—”

I groan. “Can we please not put a damper on my big, exciting news? I’m not going to lie. I want both of you there with me. Of course I do. But I’m not asking you to commit to anything, Devyn. You should definitely know that Nathan will have his own bedroom though. And a big backyard. Maybe even a dog.”

“A dog, huh? What if I told you he’s more of a cat person?” I swear I can hear her smiling through the phone.

“Pft, he’s my boy. There’s no way he’s a cat person.”

She laughs. “So, where’s this house at?”

“Mercer Island. My realtor said it has one of the best school districts in the area. I made that my top priority when we were searching since Nate will be starting kindergarten soon.”

She gasps. “You’re really in for the long haul with this parenthood thing, aren’t you?”

I smile. “Balls to the wall, baby.”

DEVYN

HE BOUGHT A HOUSE? In an incredible family friendly area no less? What am I supposed to do with that information? I’ve intentionally avoided discussing my relationship status with Jackson but Riley’s spiel about school districts makes me realize that he never considered the possibility that I wouldn’t be with him. Nate can’t attend school in Mercer Island and live with me in Belltown. Riley wants the whole package and nothing less.

My hands are shaking so bad I’m having trouble holding the phone to my ear. I don’t know if it’s from excitement or trepidation. “So when do I get to see this fancy new house?”

“Well, I don’t close until the fifteenth but we can do a drive by anytime you want. I can always call the realtor and make an appointment if you want to see the inside too.”

I smile thinking about showing Nathan where his new bedroom will be. “That’d be nice, Rye. Why don’t we plan that as one of our outings?”

“You’ve got a deal, Dev.”

RILEY

BRODY EYES ME CAREFULLY. “So…Devyn, huh?”

I take a sip of beer, trying to figure out where he’s going with this. “What about her?”

He shoves a french fry in his mouth. “Fuck, dude. Give me a little credit. I’m not blind.”

I stare at the wall of TV screens. Several college games are showing but I stopped paying attention when he mentioned Devyn’s name. “Blind?”

He flips me off. “Don’t treat me like I’m an idiot, asshole. I’m talking about the fact that Devyn’s kid looks exactly like you. I always thought he looked familiar but I didn’t put it together until I saw the two of you in the same room. And not only do you have a kid that you failed to mention, but Drew’s hot sister is the goddamn magic pussy you’ve been obsessing over the entire time I’ve known you. What are the odds, man?”

“For the record, I didn’t know about Nathan until I came here.”

He raises his eyebrows. “No shit?”

I nod. “No shit. But what makes you think Devyn is the girl I’ve been talking about?”

He rolls his eyes. “Because I have eyes, douchebag.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Care to explain?”

“Hmm…let’s see.” He holds up his index finger. “First of all, you look at her like she’s a walking wet dream. I know she’s hot, dude, like really hot, but your look says that you don’t need to imagine undressing her because you already know what’s underneath the clothes. Which makes sense I suppose since you made a baby, but this is more. It’s like she’s your personal goddess or something.”

Yeah, that’s about right. I didn’t realize I was being so obvious about it. Damn it!

“And second of all?” I ask.

He holds up a second finger. “Secondly, she looks at you like you hung the fucking moon or something.”

“She does?”

His eye roll is even more exaggerated this time. “Yes, dumbfuck, she does. The rest wasn’t too hard to put together. There’s an obvious familiarity between you two. And it’s more than two people who got naked once upon a time. You told me that the M.P. was your best friend throughout your first four years in college. Your comfort level with her matches that. The fact that Drew looked like he was severely constipated the other Sunday helped too. I just did the math and it all added up.”

“Maybe he was constipated?”

He laughs. “Did you miss the part where he disappeared for twenty minutes saying he had to ‘drop the kids off at the pool’?”

“Nope,” I say. “Because that’s when Nathan said, ‘Uncle Drew, don’t you mean you’re going to make a chocolate sundae for the sewer monster?’”

Brody is cracking up at this point. “Man, I love that kid!”

I smile. “He’s pretty great, isn’t he?”

He gives me a serious look. “What are you going to do, man? You know she’s got a boyfriend, right? She’s been with the guy forever.”

I turn my hat around so the bill is facing backwards. “I don’t know. I really don’t know.”

“Hey guys.” I look to my left and see Devyn’s friend, Rainey.

She motions for Brody to move over. “Mind if I join you?”

He slides over in the booth to make room. “What are you doing here, Rainey?”

She shrugs. “I felt like playing darts and having a couple of beers.”

Brody raises his eyebrows. “By yourself?”

“I never have trouble finding someone to play,” she says. “Or someone to buy me drinks, for that matter.”

Brody glares at her. “Is that so?”

She holds up her bottle and nods to a guy over by the bar. “I certainly didn’t pay for this. He did.”

Brody takes a long pull from his bottle while he’s glaring holes through the guy at the bar. That’s an…interesting reaction.

Rainey diverts her eyes to me. “So, Riley…what were you boys talking about before I got here?”

“Uh…” I stammer.

“How he’s going to get Devyn to break up with her boyfriend,” Brody interrupts.

She smirks. “You don’t say.”

I flip Brody off. “No, I don’t say. I mean…I didn’t say that. I said I don’t know what I’m going to do about her.”

“But you want her to leave Jackson, right? To be with you?” she asks. “She told me about the house.”

“Well…yeah,” I reply.

She smiles. “Look, Riley. I’m going to tell you something but if you mention anything about it to Devyn, I will castrate you.”

My balls instinctively recoil into my body. “What’s that?”

“I’m on your side.”

“Come again?”

“Jackson’s…decent enough. He’s good to her. And Nathan. But she’s different since you’ve moved to town. She lights up whenever she talks about you. And I know now that you didn’t know about the kid. I still think you’re an asshole for what you did to her, but I get your side of it too.”

“She talks about me?”

“Of course she talks about you, dipshit. I’m her best friend. And you’re her child’s father, who has magically reappeared.”

“Wow, you don’t mince words, do you?” I mutter.

“Quit being such a Sensitive Sally,” she says. “Geez, no wonder you and Brody are friends. You’re both whiny little bitches.”

“Hey!” Brody complains.

She rolls her eyes and ignores him. “My point was that I think you’re a better fit for her. And not just because you can clearly incinerate her panties with a simple glance. I’ve never seen her react to someone like she does with you. It’s refreshing to see her so…alive. And since you’re the kid’s father…even better. You can be the picture perfect family that she’s always dreamed of having for Nathan. But she needs to settle things with Jackson on her own terms. And if by chance she chooses to stay with him, I’m going to support her then too. Whatever decision she makes, you need to respect that as well.”

“Yeah, easy for you to say,” I scoff. “She and my son mean everything to me. I’m not going to give that up without a fight.”

“I don’t think that will happen,” she assures me. “I know my girl and I know what she wants, whether she’s ready to admit it or not. Just give her time, Riley.”

DEVYN

IT’S A SATURDAY NIGHT and Jackson has taken me to a fancy French restaurant overlooking the Puget Sound. It’s a little too stuffy for my tastes, but he likes it and the view is wonderful.

“Welcome to Sur L’Eau,” the tuxedoed host says. “Do you have reservations?”

Jackson grabs my hand. “Yes, we do. Williams for two in the private dining room.”

The private dining room? I give Jackson a quizzical look but he simply smiles.

The host’s face brightens as he grabs two menus. “Of course, monsieur. Please follow me.”

We’re led to a rectangular room off the main dining area with floor to ceiling windows taking up an entire wall. There are at least a dozen small tables topped with crisp white linens but we’re the only people in the room.

The host pulls out my chair. “Madame.”

I take a seat. “Thank you.”

He hands us our menus and nods to Jackson. “I’ll be right back with the champagne you requested with your reservation, monsieur.”

“Merci,” Jackson says in a perfect French accent.

I wait until we’re alone. “Jackson, what’s going on?”

He gives me a sheepish smile. “I can’t take you out for a nice evening?”

I gesture to our surroundings. “Sure you can…but this is over the top. What’s the occasion?”

He waits to respond as our host returns with a corked bottle of champagne and two flutes. He fills each glass and sets the bottle in a bucket of ice next to our table.

“Would you like to hear our specials?”

Jackson shakes his head. “No, thank you.”

The waiter gives a short nod. “Very well. Olivia will be your serveuse this evening. She should be with you in a few moments.”

When our host exits the room I lean over the table. “Jackson, seriously. What’s going on? Why all the fanfare?”

He grabs my hand and begins stroking his thumb over my knuckles. “You’ve been working so hard lately and we’ve barely seen each other. I thought this would be nice.”

I sink into my chair with a knot in my stomach. “This is too much.”

He holds up his glass of champagne. “Just relax, Devyn. Should we toast?”

I grab my flute. “What should we toast to?”

He clinks his glass to mine. “To the future.”

I take a lengthy sip of bubbly without echoing the sentiment. Thankfully, Jackson doesn’t seem to notice. We eat dinner with polite small talk and share a dessert afterwards. The food was great and the atmosphere is lovely but I can’t escape this feeling of dread.

Jackson stands and offers his hand. “Dance with me.”

I look around the room. “There’s no dance floor.”

He helps me stand. “We don’t need one.”

He pulls me into him and we begin swaying to the instrumental music that is piped through the restaurant. He starts trailing kisses down my neck. Public displays of affection are very out of character for him.

“Jackson, what’s gotten into you tonight?”

He moves up my neck to nip my ear lobe. “You look so beautiful tonight I can’t help myself.” He pulls back and looks at me thoughtfully. “We haven’t made love in six weeks, Devyn. It’s been too long since we’ve been able to connect. I want to come home with you tonight.”

“Oh. Uh…I’m sorry; I’ve just been so busy at work.”

He trails his finger down my cheek. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been thinking about how to fix this problem we have. I know we talked about you moving in with me several times now but I think I finally understand your hesitation.”

“You do?”

He nods. “I do. I understand Nathan is your top priority. You’re an incredible mother…it’s one of the many things I love about you. And I understand why you wouldn’t want to rock the boat with him involved. A child needs stability. You don’t want to shack up with your boyfriend because there’s always that measure of uncertainty about the future.”

He does finally get it. “I couldn’t have said it any better myself.”

He smiles. “That’s why I came up with the perfect solution.”

“You did? What’s that?”

He pulls back and digs into his pocket. Before I can ask what he’s looking for, he drops to one knee. Please don’t.

He takes my hand and holds out a beautiful diamond and sapphire ring. “Jackson—”

“Shh,” he says. “Please let me get this out before I muck it all up. Devyn, I don’t want to be your boyfriend anymore. I want to be your husband. I want to be Nathan’s stepfather. I want the three of us to live together and be a family. We’re good together. It makes sense to take this next step. What do you say? Will you marry me?”

I slam my hand over my mouth to choke back a sob. Jackson’s expression tells me he’s reading my reaction wrong. He thinks these are happy tears. “I…” How am I going to say this? It’s going to crush him. “Jackson…I can’t marry you. I’m sorry; but I can’t. I’m not ready.”

He frowns. “I don’t understand. Don’t you love me?”

I wipe a tear away. “I do…but it’s complicated.”

He stands up and brushes himself off. “What’s so complicated about it?”

“I…” I can’t think of anything to say.

“Is this because of Riley?” he asks. “Is he the reason you won’t say yes?”

I can’t look him in the eyes. “Jackson, you’re such a good man. But I’m just not ready.”

He tilts my chin up, forcing me to look at him. “I notice you’re not denying it. What’s going on, Devyn? Do you still have feelings for him?”

“I…I don’t know.” I shrug. “Maybe.”

Jackson tucks the ring back in his pocket. “I see. Well, that certainly does complicate things.”

“Do you hate me?”

He shakes his head and kisses my forehead. “No. Of course not. You need time to digest everything; that’s all. I know we’re right for each other, Devyn. And I’m confident you’ll see that too. Maybe I just need to do a better job convincing you.”

I sniff. “Jackson, you’re too good to me.”

“Nonsense,” he says. “I love you. And you love me. Let’s just focus on that.” He leans over the table to sign the credit card receipt then grabs my purse, handing it to me. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to drop you off at home. I just remembered that I need to get up early to meet my mother for breakfast tomorrow.”

“You didn’t mention anything about breakfast with your mom.”

He shrugs. “It slipped my mind.” He offers his arm. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“Okay,” I say.