Текст книги "Gutter Princess"

Автор книги: Kimmie Easley

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Текущая страница: 7 (всего у книги 12 страниц)

At first, she was mentally kicking herself for not buying more wine, but then thought it was a blessing in disguise. Alcohol would only heighten her emotions. Checking the clock blinking on the microwave, Baby was surprised to see it was only one forty-two a.m. She grabbed a glass and filled it with lukewarm tap water. She had become accustomed to no ice since the freezer was more temperamental than the hot water heater. She guzzled down the first glass and filled a second, giving herself a little time to breathe before heading back in, knowing the whole time she was going to answer his question.

As she made her way back down the hall, attempting to piece together some sort of sanity for an answer when it hit her that Lucky hadn’t made a peep since she had walked out.

“Hey, did you want something to …” she began to ask before the sight of him on the bed stopped her cold. Between his fingers, he held a small baggie of white powder. Cocaine. “Are you going through my shit?”

“No. I found it in the middle of the bed. Does that mean you have more stashed around this place?”

She stalked over to the bed, plucking the tiny bag out of his hand and threw it into the top drawer of her dresser.

Folding her arms across her chest, she lowered her head. “Maybe you should go.”

“No.”

Her face shot up. “No? It’s my damn house. If I say leave, then that’s what you’re gonna do.” She stepped closer to the bed, her blood pulsing through her body, creating a new thumping in her head.

“That’s not what you said. Come on, you don’t want me to go.” Lucky offered his hand. Baby looked at him, trying to size up the situation. Is this guy for real? She placed her hand in his and he guided her back to the bed. He sat in the middle of the bed, resting his back against the wall. Still in nothing but a pair of jeans, he spread his legs and patted the space in between. Baby nestled herself into the spot, molding her body to his.

“Let’s start over. It looks like you have some shit you need to work out. I’d like to help you do that.” Lucky ran his rough hands up and down her arms. “I’m not here to judge you. Lord knows I have my own shit to deal with. I’m here to listen or help you if I can.”

Baby pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. Her head rested on Lucky. The rise and fall of his chest made her own breathing steady. The light thud of his heartbeat soothed her.

“You’re right. I froze. I wish I had a better answer. I thought I had the bullshit under control.” Baby paused, trying to figure out how to proceed. She was thankful she couldn’t see Lucky’s face. “I’ve known Slade for years now, and to put it mildly, I’m not proud of those years. I told you about my mother and about my fucked up childhood. If Ma’Linn hadn’t stepped in, I don’t know where I would have ended up. She was a part of my life from as far back as I can remember. She fed me, bathed me, and took care of me when I was sick. I moved out when I was fifteen, but we’ve maintained that mother-daughter relationship.”

“If you guys were that close, why did you move out at such a young age?”

“Because Ma’Linn dealt with a lot of shit. Still does. Her son Phillipe and I used to play together as kids. We spent all of our time together. We made forts in the fields and fished every day when my mom would disappear. He was my best friend when we were kids, but as we got older, it didn’t take long for Phillipe to fall in with the wrong crowd. He was a few years older than I was and the gang life sucked him right in. He started out with petty theft and breaking into abandoned buildings. Once he got in with the 110ers, there was no turning back. He started doing dope, and I don’t mean recreational drugs. He was on the heavy shit. He was in and out of jail and Ma’Linn did all she could to get him help, but he only spiraled further out of control. It became too much. I didn’t feel right taking all of her attention when her son needed her.”

Lucky’s hands stopped moving and rested on her shoulders. “Did he ever hurt you?”

“Hell no! I mean, Phillipe had his issues, but he was always kind to me. I think he saw enough of my mom’s bullshit over the years and felt sorry for me. How’s that for irony? The local gang banger drug addict, pitying me?” Baby’s hand flew to her mouth to stifle a sob.

“Are you ok? You don’t have to go on if you don’t want to.” He gathered her hair and piled it to one side, kissing her neck.

“No, I’m good. I think I’ve spent too long keeping myself from talking to anyone that it’s hard to open up. Ma’Linn and I talk, probably more than we should actually. But other than that, it’s the daily bullshit with losers at the club.”

“Yeah, well. I’m guessing some of those losers are part of the story.”

“You got that right. Anyway, things were bad after moving out. The city’s hard on a kid living on the streets. Momma was gone, locked away for the umpteenth time. She didn’t want to see me. She still doesn’t and I don’t know why. Sometimes I sneak in and see her when she’s sedated. She doesn’t know I’m there. To be honest, it would probably scare the hell out of me if she up and decided she wanted to see me. Like I said before, no dad. I did the couch surfing thing for a while. I slept on benches, in abandoned cars. I’m ashamed to say I had a few boyfriends who took care of me every now and then. I knew what I was doing, but did what I had to. ”

Lucky’s warm lips planted another kiss on her neck.

“As you can imagine, I was knee deep in a pile of shit. There are some seriously messed up people out there. I had to find a way to be able to take care of myself. I was at one of my usual hangouts and happened to run into Jewella doing a private party. She was a different person back then. We hung out and talked for a while. She told me about Bottoms Up and how Mickey took on a few underage girls from time to time. As soon as I saw the guy she was dancing for fork over a pile of cash, I knew I would be down there the next day begging for a job.”

Baby picked up the glass from the nightstand and took a sip. Her throat was dry and her hands trembling. “As soon as Mickey saw me, I was in. Jewella showed me the ropes. Some of the other girls were nice, and others were straight up bitches. I was allowed to waitress before moving up to dancing. Well, when the night finally came, I thought I was literally going to die. I had a full-blown panic attack backstage. Jewella gave me a couple of pills to help take the edge off. I didn’t ask questions. I tossed them back with a glass of vodka. By the time I got on the stage, I was blitzed. I’d lost one shoe and slid down the pole, landing on my ass. I still made good tips, which is where the addiction began. As the nights went on, the better I got, and the money did too. I was hooked. I noticed Slade in the club over the first few weeks. He talked a lot with Mickey, was in and out of the office, but after about a month, he came in to watch the show. Said he’d heard about the new girl, and he tipped like a fucking rockstar.”

“You were addicted to the money?”

“Hell, yeah. You would be too if you’d gone your whole life with nothing. And the little bit you did have, was hung over your head.”

Lucky’s body moved from side to side under her weight. “I haven’t been put in that situation. I can’t say for sure. But money doesn’t mean as much to me as it does other people.”

“Says the Gauthier …”

His body stiffened. “That was a cheap shot.”

She looked up and gave him an apologetic smile. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Lucky pressed his lips to the top of her head. “It’s ok. I know this is tough, and I’m certainly not judging you. I really am trying to understand.”

“The money itself was like a drug. I have to be honest. I was enjoying my new life. Once Mickey asked me if I was interested in dancing for private parties, I only hesitated for a second. All I had to do was dance. The men were assholes and liked to get grab happy, but overall, it wasn’t too bad. We always had security. Slade was at every party. He was my biggest tipper. I knew he was starting to take an interest in me, but I didn’t think it would go anywhere.”

Baby squirmed, uneasy, readjusting herself between Lucky’s legs. How much did he want to know? She didn’t want to overshare and send him running for the hills. No one in their right mind would hang around after knowing the truth about the things she had done.

“Mickey approached me one night to let me know Slade wanted to take me on a date. Notice I didn’t say he asked. It was more like a formality. And in case it wasn’t obvious, date was code word for whatever the hell he wanted to do. Literally, whatever he wanted to do.”

Lucky’s heartbeat quickened, thumping hard against her back.

“Momma was having a hard time. I couldn’t afford to get her the help she needed on my own. She’d had a lot of episodes, but when she had that major breakdown when I was a kid, they dumped her in a shithole and ended her parental rights. When Mickey said as part of the deal, Slade would make sure my mother was taken care of, I said yes. They got her a room at Pecan Grove, which turned out to be the best place ever. I couldn’t imagine her anywhere else. Up until that point, I’d been doing recreational drugs. You know, weed and Xanax. Things to help me make it through the parties. But I knew that Slade meant business. It was bad.” Baby Jade’s voice cracked. “He made sure I had access to everything out there. I was drinking every day, playing around with new stuff, but as it turns out, coke became my happy place. Every time I turned around, it was in my face. Slade and I hooked up immediately. He paid good money to get what he wanted. Of course, I had to fork over the majority of it to Mickey as a finder’s fee.”

“What a douche,” Lucky growled.

“I’m not going to argue with you there, but the small amount I did get to keep I put away into savings. The parties became a nightly thing and ended up involving more people if you know what I’m saying. Slade liked to share what was his when he was feeling charitable. As it turned out, I was his.”

Baby sucked in a deep breath, holding it before exhaling slowly. “I’m disgusted when I think about the things I’ve done. It was easier to make sure I wasn’t able to remember. And Slade was all too happy to oblige. Sometimes I lost days, couldn’t remember a damn thing. I woke up next to strangers and immediately rolled over to do another line of coke. If I tried to say no or make up some excuse why I couldn’t party, Slade would knock me around, making sure to mark up my face, that way I couldn’t work at the club either. He cut me off at the knees. If something didn’t go his way, I was his punching bag. If he wanted to flex his power, he used me to do it. Simple as that.”

“I guess Mickey saw nothing but a paycheck.”

“Yeah, and an endless supply of whatever the girls needed, especially Jewella. I’m sure Mickey’s pimped her out as well, and now Lolli is Slade’s new favorite. It’s wearing her down. I can see it in her eyes.”

“By looking at Slade tonight, the relationship didn’t end well. How’d you get out?”

“I’m not sure I’m exactly out. I think that’s part of what you saw tonight. This has been a pattern. When I couldn’t take the scene anymore, I told Slade I was done. I was ready to take an ass beating, but he took it to the extreme. I couldn’t walk for two days. I drank my meals through a straw, not that I had much of an appetite.”

Lucky balled his fists, pumping them open and close until his veins looked like were ready to pop.

Baby picked up his arm and folded it across her chest, wrapping herself around his forearm, longing for the comfort and safety of having him close. “I didn’t care about me. I prayed he wouldn’t hurt the few people close to me. Phillipe ran in his circle. I was worried about Ma’Linn and, of course, Momma. He made life rough for a while, but I finally moved on. Mickey was pissed. He lost a lot of money. Slade took some of his anger out on the club.”

“Your mom?”

The tears streamed down her face, landing on Lucky’s arm. She imagined the ink smearing like a wet newspaper. “They quit paying for her room. She was going to be thrown out onto the streets, or worse, forced into a state funded institution.” She choked back the sob blocking her airway. “I couldn’t go through that again. I emptied out my savings account and paid for a year at Pecan Grove. Now I’m living off tips and trying to find a way to freeze time. When the end of the year comes, I don’t know what we’re going to do. Ma’Linn pays for her apartment on social security. It’s a big clusterfuck.”

Lucky’s chin rested on top of her head as his embrace tightened around her. “You don’t make life boring, that’s for sure.”

“Boring sounds pretty damn good right about now. Like I said, this fucked up cycle with Slade is a pattern and nobody knows it better than him. He knows how to get to me. Every few months I start to get weak. Every time I think I’m able to stay strong, he picks away at me, wearing me down. That’s what you saw tonight. He’s been working on me for a while now, and its right about this time I’d be giving in. I go on a binge and indulge in everything. I don’t know what happens. Slade starts leaving coke around. I usually toss it, but it gets harder and harder. I try to say no, but end up jumping in with both feet. I know it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s an addiction.”

“That doesn’t make it ok. If I’m able to kick it for a few months, why the hell can’t I say no and move on? Slade will leave me alone for a while and then, like a puppet on a string, he takes me down off of the shelf, ready to play.” Baby squeezed her eyes shut before the tears spilled.

“I can’t watch you go through this. I want to take care of you.”

Baby’s insides trembled. Sobs welled in her throat and tears pooled in the corners of her captivating green eyes. No one had ever wanted to take care of her other than Ma’Linn. Her lip quivered. “Why would you do that?”

“To be honest, I have no idea. I hated seeing you like that tonight. It tore me up. I wanted to punch the son of a bitch in his huge troll face.”

Baby shot upright and moved to the end of the bed, out of his reach. “I don’t need your pity. I’ll get through it one way or another. I always do.”

“Hey, don’t get all defensive on me. I don’t pity you.” He dragged her back to him, enveloping her in his arms. His bare chest was warm under her cheek. “I can’t explain it. It feels right, like I’m supposed to take care of you. Like I’ve been waiting my whole life for you I don’t know exactly what it is that I feel, but it’s definitely not pity. I want to be near you, hold you, and make you smile.”

Her lips curved at the sincerity of his words. She stroked his chest, trailing her finger along the lines of his tattoos. She smelled herself on his skin, and it made her body react, the pulsing between her legs distracting her.

“Yeah, like that. I want to make you blush. Be there to keep you safe, hold you when you need to cry. I don’t know what the hell’s going on, but I haven’t felt like this since Carrie. Hell, not then either. And it was the last damn thing I expected when I came back to town.”

“I don’t know what is happening either. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt like this. I’ve never had a normal relationship.”

Lucky chuckled. “Baby, I’m far from normal.”

“Then we’re the perfect match.” She snuggled in closer.

“Yep.”

The last thing Baby Jade remembered before falling asleep was the soothing touch of Lucky’s fingertips on her back.

Chapter Fourteen

Lucky

Lucky examined Baby’s face. Her eyes were closed with no harsh lines or creasing. It was the first time that he had seen her look at peace. Baby gave a satisfied sigh and unconsciously burrowed herself into his chest. Her breath on his flesh made the blood rush through his veins. His heart beat fast as her body twitched with her skin on his.

This was insane. How could he already be developing feelings for this girl? And why did it have to be the one chick with the most fucked up problems?

The lost lamb look on Baby’s face tonight at the club made him want to throw her on the back of his bike and take off. However, he couldn’t leave, not yet. And there’s nothing saying she would want to ride off with him into the sunset after the board meeting.

His mother had been calling him for days now, but he still refused to answer the phone. He wasn’t here for a fake family reunion.

He and Baby had come from two different worlds although they grew up only a few blocks apart. His life was filled with vacations, nannies, and servants. Hers was filled with drugs, abuse, and abandonment. He resented the life he’d once had. There were people in the world suffering while his parents threw money at their problems.

In college, it became clear that Lucky wanted something different out of life. When he met Carrie, he thought he had found it. He would have gone to the moon to fight for their relationship. He didn’t give a shit if his parents had disowned him. Money didn’t mean the same thing to him as it did to his family.

As an only child, Lucky was pretty much guaranteed a spot on the Gauthier board when a seat became available. The successful company had initially been a small startup by his father, Colby, and his best friend, Art Flanagan, who committed suicide a few months back.

Lucky grew up as James Thomas Gauthier. He went to an affluent private school. He made good grades for the most part and tried to stay out of trouble, but as he got older, he started pushing the limits; doing drugs, sneaking out, and he developed a serious case of gambling addiction.

His father wouldn’t dare let him attract negative attention to the Gauthier name. In their junior year of high school, Lucky and a classmate stole a teacher’s car, and that’s when all hell broke loose. He was arrested, and his dad had to pull major strings to keep his name out of the paper, going to all lengths to keep the Gauthier name from being tarnished. His friend wasn’t as fortunate, being convicted of grand larceny. Colby Gauthier also had to drop some serious coin to keep him in school. That is where the Gauthier computer lab came from. And the Gauthier athletics fund, the Gauthier parking lot, and the Gauthier faculty workroom. The list goes on.

He spent years of testing how far his dad would go to keep him out of trouble before Lucky finally got his shit together. After a pregnancy scare and a DUI charge, the family didn’t know what to do anymore. He was sent away to spend the majority of his junior year at military school. It was like six months of boot camp, without the actual government to regulate tactics, which bordered on abuse. There was no use complaining about it. His father would say it was what he needed since he came back a changed man.

Lucky tossed all the drugs and alcohol he had stashed. He decided to rule out girls for the year, not wanting drama to get in the way of graduation. He kept his eye on the prize. That prize was getting into LSU, getting his degree, and taking over his father’s business.

There were times when Lucky literally sat and daydreamed about sitting in his father’s oversized leather chair, bellied up to his enormous mahogany desk with a scotch in one hand and an intern in the other.

He graduated high school with honors and maintained a 3.9 GPA. His father continued to run his business, as well as his personal life like a tyrant. His mother continued to work on her retail therapy and write checks to local charitable organizations.

Everything was on track. That is until Carrie Scott walked into his business law class. With long blond hair, a body to die for, and flawless fair skin, she was drop-dead gorgeous and the picture of Los Angeles socialite. LSU was her father’s alma mater. He had moved out to Hollywood after getting his big break in the film industry.

After hooking up at a frat party, he and Carrie became inseparable. They studied together, worked out together, and spent what little free time they had together. Yes, she was hot and fun, but the thing that he loved most about her was her drive. Carrie was the most motivated person he had ever met. When she wanted something, she was balls to the wall until it happened. Nothing was too big for her. Nothing was unattainable. She was infectious, pushing him harder and keeping him focused.

Once Lucky disclosed his plan about climbing the ladder at Gauthier, it was all Carrie talked about. He saw his future, and he loved it. The two of them were going to take the business world by storm.

However, not everyone approved of their relationship. His parents made that abundantly clear, but it didn’t matter. He had gone to bat for her time and time again. It was the real deal. They were the campus power couple and they were both reveling in it.

It shook him when Carrie announced she was pregnant. He was scared as hell, not of having a kid, but that he would turn out to be like his old man. After the initial shock wore off, he was elated. He quickly adjusted his plan and had no doubts they could still have all the things they wanted out of life.

Carrie had never been as excited as he was, but once Lucky told his parents and stood up to them, she slowly reconciled with the fact that she was going to be a mother. She talked about nursery themes and baby names. The two got an apartment off campus with two bedrooms.

And that’s where it ended. The day he came home to find Carrie packing her belongings after having an abortion was the day Lucky cut himself off from anything that would cause him to feel pain. Or anything for that matter. If it didn’t involve being pissed off, pain from a bar fight, or the pathetic relief of sex with a more than willing stranger, Lucky wasn’t feeling it.

That’s why this green-eyed girl had him spiraling out of control. He couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening to his heart. The feeling was foreign and yet addictive all at the same time.

Crazy attracts crazy. Or is it wounded attracts wounded? Either way, they were both a mess. Together, they were bound to be a disaster.