Текст книги "Craving Him"

Автор книги: Kendall Ryan

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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

Ben padded barefoot over to the makeup artist, who mussed up his hair so it was perfectly rumpled and then dotted concealer on a few spots before rubbing down his naked skin with bronzing lotion. I wondered if that lotion was edible because he looked good enough to lick.

They got into position and began shooting, several poses together lounging in the sand and playing in the surf, and then changed swimsuits, repeating the process.

I normally loved watching Ben work, but watching him cuddle in the sand with London, wrapped up in each other’s arms and frolicking in the waves, was not fun. Not one bit. I hated seeing Ben’s perfect hands, his long fingers, gripping London’s trim waist. I hated the familiar way her hand curled around his bicep. My stomach twisted like someone had twirled a fork inside me. I felt sick watching them.

They looked great together. The perfect couple. Just knowing they’d been a real couple, that they’d been intimate, that London was one of the three girls Ben had slept with killed me. Deep-seated fear and insecurity rushed up inside me, clouding my head, and making me question everything.

Needing a minute to myself, I turned my back on the shoot and walked off down the beach. I gulped lungfuls of fresh ocean air, pushing away the urge to cry. It was stupid. Ben loved me. He’d told me that repeatedly. But there was no denying that watching him pose, hold, and caress his ex on set was hard. I wasn’t that secure in our relationship to begin with. And London, well . . . she was a perfect ten. Winner of the genetic lottery. And she’d slept with my boyfriend. Awesome.

When I made it back to the set everyone was packing up. Ben and London sat at the edge of the water, butts planted in the sand and feet out in the lapping waves. Ben tipped his head back, obviously amused at something she’d said. Taking a deep, calming breath, I boldly approached them. Ben rose to his feet, pulling me into a hug.

“Baby, there you are. Everything okay?” His hazel gaze probed mine.

“Fine,” I lied.

London stood, dusting the sand from her petite bottom. “Hi, Emmy!”

“Hi.” Gosh, she was gorgeous and nice too.

“That outfit fits you perfectly, I’m glad to see.” She smiled at me.

My brow creased as I struggled to understand her meaning. Ben shifted uncomfortably next to me.

London tipped her head back, laughing. “Ben called and asked for my help shopping for you. I picked out all your vacation clothes.” She smiled at me again, her bright white teeth gleaming in the sunlight.

My stomach dropped like a stone. I thought Ben had picked out and packed the pretty clothes for me. Learning that it was actually his ex-girlfriend stung like a venomous bite. “Oh. I hadn’t realized. Thank you,” I managed to choke out. “Yes, the clothes fit.” No doubt several sizes bigger than London herself wore. Lord, that was embarrassing. The diet started tomorrow. I would wake up early and run every morning, not eat carbs, or anything processed . . . I began dictating the diet plan in my head when Ben’s arm slipped around my waist and tugged me closer.

“Talk to me. You seem upset.”

My gaze traveled to London and she returned my uneasy expression.

“Hey.” She placed a hand on my shoulder. “Ben and I dated several years ago. It was short lived and”—sorry, she mouthed to Ben—“not all that meaningful. We’ve both moved on. And I’ve never seen him happier. I’m happy for you both.”

“Thank you.” I nodded. It was stupid and insecure of me to feel threatened by their friendship. I repeated that over and over in my head. I didn’t want to be that type of girlfriend. But my damn heart was still throbbing painfully in my chest as I watched London walk away.

Ben was still planted firmly in the sand at my side, waiting for my response. I swallowed heavily. “I feel so in the dark all the time with you, Ben. You should have told me that London was going to be here.”

His eyebrows lifted. “I swore I told you she was booked for this shoot with me.”

I shook my head. That was not a detail I’d forget.

He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was so preoccupied with actually getting you to come, I didn’t think. And I wanted your bags all packed and ready so that something so mundane didn’t stand in your way. I called London and gave her my American Express. I knew she’d know just what to do. She dropped off all the bags at my apartment and I looked through every article, imagining you in them, and packed them all in the suitcase myself.”

I smiled at his soft, tender tone, the look of genuine concern for me in his eyes. He was trying. He might not know the first thing about being a boyfriend, but he was trying.

“I love you, baby. Please don’t invent things to worry about. There’s nothing between London and I. We’re friends. I promise you.”

I flinched ever so slightly. He’d promised me things before. And now Fiona was pregnant and the last three women he’d slept with all stood within thirty feet of each other on this sandy beach. “I’m sorry.” I shook my head to clear the thoughts running rampant. “I must be getting a little emotional.”

He took my hands in his. “Don’t apologize for how you feel. When I saw you take off down the beach it took everything in me not to go after you. I want to know how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking. Always. But promise me you won’t take off again.”

“I promise,” I murmured.

Ben tipped my chin up to his. “Breathe for me, Emmy.”

I pulled in a deep shuddering breath.

“There, that’s my girl.” His hands moved up and down my bare arms, lightly caressing them. He caught something in my tone. “Now tell me what else is bothering you.”

“I just didn’t know London, um, bought my clothes,” I murmured.

“No, baby. I bought them. She picked them out.”

I nodded. I knew that.

“Now tell me what this is really about.” His tone was sure and steady.

“This world is all new to me still. When I saw your hands all over her, the way you two looked together . . . I just started ticking off all the ways I don’t measure up.”

An angry wave of tension rolled off him and his hands curled around my elbows, locking me in place and pinning me with his eyes. “I’m thankful as shit you don’t fit into this world. You remind me that there’s so much more to life. You’re my something real to grasp on to at the end of the day. You ground me. I love you and that’s not going to change just because I spent the day rolling around in the sand with London for my job.”

My gaze drifted downward.

“Baby.” He lifted my chin again. “It might look glamorous, but my sand chafed balls would disagree.”

I chuckled lightly. “I think I’m ready to go back to the room.”

He nodded. “Then let’s go. I need to wash all this damn bronzer off my skin, too.”

We’d just started back for the hotel when Fiona stepped in our path, her happy little smile pinning Ben. “I wanted to say thank-you,” she purred.

“Uh . . . okay,” Ben said, eyeing her curiously.

“For the baby shower gift. That was very sweet of you, love,” Fiona said, addressing Ben.

He’d gotten her a baby gift?

My body went rigid and I felt Ben’s hand tighten around mine. So much for the promise I’d just made not to run. I felt like fleeing for the moon right about now. Forget that, the moon wasn’t far enough.

“You’re welcome,” he retuned, his tone short but polite.

Fiona sauntered away, her hand resting against her ever-growing belly.

Ben gripped my shoulders, turning me to face him, his face stricken with panic. “I want you to know, I didn’t get her something for her baby. I just chipped in ten bucks toward the office gift. It was a stroller from everyone at Status; it wasn’t just from me.”

“Oh.” I shouldn’t care, should I? She was still his agent. He worked with Status. That meant he was practically required to chip in on the boss’s gift. He was looking at me with the most worried stare. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. I placed my palm on his cheek. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. She tried to make it sound worse than it was—but that’s to be expected. She’s a bitch.”

A crooked smile overtook his mouth. “So you’re not mad?”

“I would have preferred if you didn’t chip in at all so she wouldn’t have anything to grasp on to, but it’s fine.”

He kissed my lips. “You’re the best. I don’t deserve you and I know that. I handed Gunnar the ten dollars without even thinking. I’ll try to be more aware of this type of thing.”

I hoped his love would be enough to outweigh all the baggage threatening to overwhelm me at every turn.

Ben

The cool blast of air-conditioning inside our room felt terrific. Emmy kicked off her sandals at the door and sunk to the couch. I leaned over the back of the sofa and kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to shower.” I wasn’t kidding about having sand in some pretty undesirable locations.

“Okay.” Her tone was despondent. But reading her subtle signals, and desire to be alone right now, I left her and closed the bathroom door behind me.

Stepping under the spray of hot water, I stood there uselessly, letting it beat down against my back, easing out the tension in my shoulders. I wish I could make Emmy see what she meant to me, help her understand that I wasn’t this way with other women. Ever. She was special, everything I’d ever wanted.

I didn’t hear the bathroom door open, but sensing I was no longer alone I opened my eyes and found Emmy’s big, grayish-blue gaze watching me.

“You need a hand?” Her gaze slid down my naked chest and abs, darting back up just as quickly. Her breath shuddered in a soft inhale.

“If you think you can handle the job.” My voice dropped low and my face stayed impassive.

Emmy’s tongue wet her bottom lip and her nipples pressed against the little cotton camisole she wore. As if taking a moment to think it over, she paused at the threshold to the marble-and-glass–enclosed shower. I remained still, standing in the spray of warm water. All except for my cock, which started to slowly rise in his own salute.

Apparently done thinking, Emmy pulled her shirt over her head and stepped out of her shorts. It took her just a moment to unsnap her bra and kick off her panties and then she was stepping forward, reaching for my outstretched hand.

Knowing the tumultuous start to our trip, I wasn’t about to push her for more right now. But I’d also never deny an opportunity to be close to her, skin to skin. I pulled her to my chest and held her, letting the water soothe us both.

“Did you wash the sand off?” she whispered, standing before me.

“Not yet. I was just enjoying the water.” It took every ounce of control I possessed not to bring my hands up and cup her breasts, rake my thumbs across her perky nipples. I loved the seductive look in her eyes when I took over. But I needed to be in control right now. Everything but my cock had gotten that memo. He was still steadily raising and was brushing past Emmy’s thigh.

She swallowed heavily. “Let me wash you.”

I nodded.

Emmy grabbed a thick washcloth from the shelf mounted to the wall just outside the shower. She wetted it and squirted a generous amount of body wash before lathering the suds. “Turn around,” she commanded, looking determined.

“Yes ma’am.” I turned away and she began scrubbing my back with a firm pressure. I let my head drop forward. Fuck, that felt good.

She continued soaping me up, not missing a square inch as she ordered me to turn and face her then raise my arms. I chuckled as she scrubbed my underarms then dropped them to my sides while she focused on soaping up my chest.

Her touch was so careful, so loving, it stole my breath and left me flooded with emotions I’d never had and couldn’t name. I’d never felt so thoroughly loved and cherished like I did with her. She was the most selfless, sweetest person I knew. Real and true to her core. She wasn’t the type of girl you dated and messed around with for fun. She was a forever type of girl. And the problem was, I wasn’t a forever type of guy. I didn’t know if I was even capable of that level of commitment. She deserved more. And the thought of hurting this beautiful girl and wounding her spirit wasn’t something I ever wanted to do.

She ran the soapy washcloth along my arms and legs before wringing it out and depositing it on the bench seat in the shower. Then she dumped some of the liquid body wash into her palm and began rubbing it over my chest and abs. Her lips were parted and her hair hung in damp strands around her face, sticking to her neck. It look all the willpower I had to stand there and let her wash me.

Emmy’s gaze slipped downward and her hands stopped on my hips. “You’re getting hard,” she murmured.

I looked down to where all her attention was captured. “Quite an accurate observation.” I wanted to take myself in my hand, stroke and tease her, but I remained planted to the shower floor while rivulets of hot soapy water streamed down the length of me.

With a determined look in her eyes, Emmy brought her hands down to my length and gripped me lightly.

Watching her little hands try to stroke me was a beautiful sight. Her fingers slid from root to tip. “Fuck, baby . . .” I brought one hand to the wall, flattening my palm against the tile. “That feels so good.” My voice was a deep rasp in my chest. Blood surged south as I pushed my hips forward to meet her hand’s pumping.

She was still biting that damn bottom lip and watching me with wide eyes. I couldn’t let my seed go to waste on the bottom of the shower floor. I wanted to be inside her. Done watching her play, I spun her around to face the wall.

“Hands up,” I whispered near her ear.

She pressed her hands flush against the wall in front of her.

“Good girl,” I murmured.

I stepped closer, pushing my body against the length of hers, loving the feel of my cock against the soft curve of her ass. I pushed her wet hair over her shoulder, leaning forward to tenderly kiss along the back of her neck and down her spine. I felt her shudder and her body broke out in chill bumps despite the warm water streaming over us both.

I trailed my fingertips down her spine, feeling her shiver and squirm as she anticipated where my hand was heading. Curving my hand between her legs, I found her already slippery and wet. I pushed my middle finger inside of her.

Emmy arched her back, forcing her ass back against me.

“Does that feel good, baby?” I dragged my finger slowly in and out of her.

Her low whimper and the flood of wetness I felt was the answer I needed.

I gripped her ass in my palms, spreading her cheeks and stepped closer, nestling my cock flush with her core. “This ass is so fucking sexy, baby.” I gently squeezed and Emmy let out a soft groan. “You want me inside you?”

“Bennn . . .”

Hearing my name fall from her mouth excited me. And she seemed to use it often, addressing me in that sexy, unsure way she had.

I pushed forward, the head of my cock disappearing into her tight pink opening. “Ah, fuck,” I groaned as I watched myself slip inch by inch deeper inside her.

Emmy pushed her ass out, her hips grinding back against my slow thrusts.

My hands planted themselves on her hips. “Slow down, angel. I don’t want to come yet.”

Snaking one hand around her front, I found her sensitive nub, and though I knew from her frantic, jerky movements that she wanted me to touch her there, I took my time, circling the tender spot to draw out her pleasure. Emmy groaned, her hand closing around my wrist to keep my hand where she wanted it, and my dick went even harder, if that was possible.

Increasing my pace, I pumped my hips against her, pounding into her until I was fully buried. Little gasps escaped her lips as she rested her cheek against the cool tile.

Finally I flicked my fingertips over her clit and her hips bucked forward, working against my hand. “That feel good, honey?”

“Yeah,” she breathed.

“This pussy’s mine, baby.”

“Yours,” she moaned.

I circled her clit faster until uninhibited moans were tumbling from her mouth, as if her body were an instrument designed for my pleasure. I felt her pussy clamp down around me as her orgasm hit.

“Bennn . . .” she groaned long and low in her husky voice.

“Baby. Ah, fuck . . .” Her body went limp after she came and I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her body up and down on my cock a final few times. Biting into the soft skin on her shoulder, I came in long spurts deep inside her.

* * *

Later, once we’d fed each other dinner in bed and were wrapped up snuggly under the sheets, I caressed Emmy’s back, lulling her to sleep.

“Baby?”

“Mmm,” she groaned sleepily.

“About tomorrow’s shoot . . .” I hesitated. Her eyes blinked open and found mine. “The photographer mentioned wanting to get some topless shots of London tomorrow. Nothing too revealing—hands, and limbs would be strategically placed, but still, I wanted to warn you. You might not like what you see.”

“Oh.” She was quiet, but all her attention was trained on me.

“So I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”

“Okay.”

I brought my palm to her cheek and lightly stroked her smooth skin. “I’ve called and scheduled you for a session at the hotel’s spa tomorrow. But only if that’s something you want. Otherwise, of course you can come to the shoot. I have nothing to hide. I just want you to be comfortable.”

She thought it over for a minute. “As your assistant, I should be there,” she said, finally.

I took her hand, lightly stroking her knuckles with my thumb. “Yes, but as my girlfriend, I want to make sure you can handle it.” There was more . . . but I didn’t want to upset her. Deciding on complete honesty, I continued, “The set assistant today made some comment about not bringing significant others to the shoot.”

“Oh.” She stiffened. I knew we were both remembering how she’d stormed off across the sand once I’d started shooting with London.

I stroked her hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I should have prepared you better.” Which was true. Swimsuit shoots tended to be sexier, and this one happened to be with my ex. I wasn’t thinking. It was a dickhead move.

Her eyes lifted to mine. “Actually the spa sounds lovely.”

“Good.” I pressed a soft kiss to her mouth. “Your appointment is at ten.”

“Thank you,” she whispered and then curled herself into my body.

11

Emmy

I entered Nirvana spa with ten minutes to spare and was greeted by the soothing sounds of steel drums and ocean waves pulsing low through the speakers.

I approached the reception desk and was greeted by a young woman. “Welcome to Nirvana.”

That had quite a ring to it. I gave her my name and she flipped a page in her notebook—no computer system here—and tapped her finger against the paper. “Yes, you’re starting with a hair and scalp massage, followed by a warm seashell full-body massage, then a sugar glow, banana leaf wrap, exfoliating facial, waxing, and then manicure and pedicure.

Wow. Ben had really gone all out. Booked everything on their spa menu by the sounds of it. I nodded as a slow smile uncurled on my lips.

I was led into a small, dim room with a massage bed in the center. The soothing music was playing in here, too, and I was instructed to remove everything but my underpants and slip under the crisp, white sheet. I did as I was told as soon as she was out of the room, already anticipating this experience.

When the door reopened, an older lady who couldn’t have been much over five feet tall entered and greeted me with a warm smile.

“Welcome. My name is Elenoa. Are you ready to begin?” She had a pretty Polynesian accent, her voice gentle with almost a singsong quality to it.

“Yes, very much.”

She graced me with another warm smile. “You’re really getting the full package today.”

That was Ben, treating me to the very best . . . unless he thought I needed all these treatments to look better. No. I wouldn’t let my ugly insecurities mar this day. He was being generous. Nothing else.

Elenoa turned to the small counter and began mixing various ingredients into a small wooden bowl. “We’ve cultivated a unique blend of pressed nut oils infused with tropical flowers that rejuvenate and nourish your skin. Today I’ll use a mixture of passionflower, white ginger lily, and virgin coconut oil.”

I nodded. That sounded lovely.

She set to work and the relaxing blend of aromatherapy oils, coupled with the expert way her hands kneaded my stiff muscles, sent my mind wandering in a relaxed, dreamy state.

I thought about my parents back home and felt a twinge of guilt. My parents had been married for twenty-five years and had never had a vacation. Not even a honeymoon. Suddenly all this felt far too extravagant. But my mom had been happy for me when I’d called and told her about the trip. I shouldn’t feel guilty. I should enjoy this. We were here for Ben’s job.

Being Ben’s assistant certainly had its perks. My boneless body and semi-conscious mind were proof of that. He was a great boss. I wondered what he was doing right now. Probably frolicking on the beach with London and her coconuts. Even though I was thoroughly enjoying all these luxurious treatments, I vowed to myself that next time I wouldn’t abandon Ben alone at a shoot. Elenoa scrubbed my entire body in a ginger root masque then wrapped me in warm banana leaves, which felt so warm and good. I felt like a yummy, fruit concoction. If I reached out and licked my arm, it’d probably taste good. While the warm body masque set, I was treated to a papaya fruit enzymes facial.

After all the body treatments were done, the painful part began. She said the couple days’ worth of stubble on my legs was the perfect length for waxing, and so I got full legs and a Brazilian bikini wax. I was pretty confident the latter hurt worse than childbirth, but the result was so pretty and smooth. After a manicure and pedicure I headed back to our hotel room. Ben was still gone so I ordered us lunch from room service and fell back onto the bed to rest. Was this really my life? Because a girl could get used to his.

* * *

I squirmed on the bed, trying to get farther away from Ben’s reach. When he’d returned we’d eaten lunch, showered, and crawled into bed, still naked and damp, to cuddle.

“Don’t.” I tugged the sheet up higher around my waist to shield my lady parts, never mind the fact my breasts were bare.

“Let me see.” Ben smiled, his eyes playful on mine. He’d seemed amused when we showered, wanting to look at the Brazilian bikini wax that left me completely smooth and bare. “I need to inspect their work. Make sure you got the full-service package.” He gripped the sheet and tugged it away as I opened my hands, letting it slip down. Ben’s gaze left mine and traveled slowly downward.

I pushed my thighs together. “Stop looking at it. It’s awkward.”

Ben pressed my knees apart. “Look at yourself, baby. You’re beautiful.” His fingertip lightly stroked my inner thigh and little chill bumps erupted along my skin. “Has no one ever told you how pretty your pussy is?”

My cheeks erupted in heat. I shook my head. Sex in the dark, under the covers, was my norm before he came along.

“It’s like a little pink flower . . . look.” I dared a glance downward. His thumbs parted my inner lips, the gentle touch both highly erotic and innocent. A throaty breath escaped me and Ben’s gaze found mine. “See, you’re perfect down there.”

“If you say so,” I murmured.

“Don’t you like looking at me?”

I nodded eagerly.

A slow smile crept over his mouth. “Good to know. Well, that’s how I feel about looking at you. You turn me on so much, baby.”

Glancing down, it was impossible not to notice the rather large bulge at his hips where the sheet tented outward.

It didn’t seem to be possible for us to go more than a few hours without sex. I kept waiting for that part of our relationship to cool, but that hadn’t happened yet. He was sexy as hell and my body craved him. I wasn’t about to deny it.