Текст книги "Dare You To"
Автор книги: Katie McGarry
сообщить о нарушении
Текущая страница: 19 (всего у книги 25 страниц)
Beth
SITTING ON THE BED of Logan’s truck, Ryan keeps me tucked close between his legs and his hands rest on the sides of my hips. Ryan’s sweatshirt wraps around me like a minidress and the heat from his body protects me from the chilly autumn Friday evening. He’s
enveloped me in a small, warm bubble. Wood in the bonfire crackles and snaps and creates a rich scent that relaxes me. I cuddle against him, and the deep rhythmic vibrations of his voice lull me into a sense of ease. Ryan has created the sensation of comforter-out-of-the-dryer warmth.
He runs his hand through my hair and
whispers, “You’re falling asleep. Do you want me to take you home?”
“I’m awake.” I pretend that he will hold me forever. Today, I called Mom before gym. Like HC TITLE-AUTHOR
477
always, good news comes with bad. She got the car out of the impoundment lot, but she also bailed Trent out of jail and she was somehow shocked that jail hadn’t changed his thunderstorm disposition. She asked me to come get her a week from Monday—after her social security check comes in. I have ten days left with Ryan.
Ryan kisses the top of my head and returns to the same discussion he and his friends have had every day at lunch—baseball playoffs.
Lacy sits next to me in the same exact position with Chris. She drinks from a longneck. “I’m happy you and Ryan are together. It’s nice to be around someone else who never says the word baseball.” Lacy takes another drink and shakes her head. “I take that back—not
someone else. I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad you’re back.”
She’s buzzing. I’m not. It’s strange to be at a party and not be blitzed. The past two weeks have been strange. Now that Ryan has done whatever popular people do to announce their commitments, his friends treat me like one of their own and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
I mean—they’re jocks. All the guys standing HC TITLE-AUTHOR
478
around or sitting on this truck are big, huge, can’t-stop-talking-about-baseball jocks. None of them has made me feel inconsequential or like a freak. They’re nothing like Luke and his friends, who drank every chance they got. Not one of these guys has touched alcohol tonight.
Ryan and his friends have an early-morning game and they want to be at one hundred
percent.
Lacy holds out her hand and waves it until I take it. “I’m happy I have a best friend again.”
“All right.” Chris swings Lacy into his arms.
“She’s talking sentimental, which means it’s time to dance.” With her laughing
uncontrollably, he carries her to the crowd dancing near the bonfire.
Ryan’s lips graze my earlobe, sending
seductive shivers through my body. “Walk with me?”
Anywhere. “Okay.”
Ryan jumps off the bed of the truck and
when I scoot to the end of the tailgate, he places his hands on my hips to help me down. I don’t need the help. I’m perfectly capable of getting myself down, but I enjoy the feel of his hands on me. His warmth burns through my
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
479
clothes and onto my skin.
He lifts me and my body slowly slides
against his. I want to kiss him and from the hunger smoldering in his eyes, he feels the same way. He takes my hand in his and leads me away from the bonfire, away from other people, into the woods, and into a world of our own.
The moon creates a silvery glow and the
babble of the creek gives the moment a
mystical quality. The darkness isn’t so
frightening with Ryan. With him I can believe that I am a princess with a wreath of flowers and ribbons crowning my head and he is my prince sworn to protect me from the evils in the night.
Ryan releases my hand and turns his
baseball cap to wear it backward, a sure sign he’s going to kiss me. My insides flutter. The enduring cockiness that exudes from Ryan
fades and he shoves his hands in his pockets while shifting. “I wasn’t going to do the writing competition, but I am now. I talked to Coach today and told him I’m not playing next Saturday’s game.”
“Why wouldn’t you have done the
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
480
competition?” I’m confused. Ryan has a
gift. Why wouldn’t he use it?
“My dad, he didn’t want…” Ryan shakes his head. “It’s not important. You’ve opened my eyes to a lot of things and I wanted to let you know that you’re a big part of this. A huge part.” He shrugs and for the first time I see Ryan unsure of himself. It’s an odd thing to watch from someone who is always nothing
less than perfection.
“You’ll be perfect.” Some lives are blessed.
His is. Mine isn’t. I’m not sure how I helped, but at least he’ll have another good memory of me. I have ten days to tuck in as many good memories as I can for the both of us. I don’t want him to hate me forever. I want him to look back on our time together and smile.
Ryan sucks in a deep breath and his
continued track down the path of
uncomfortable makes me restless. “My parents are going to be out of town for a week starting tomorrow. They won’t be back until next
Sunday.”
Awesome. “I get to use the front door?”
“Yeah. If you want. Don’t get me wrong, I want you to come…I mean I want you to sleep HC TITLE-AUTHOR
481
with me…I mean.” Ryan swears under his
breath. “I want you at my house if you want to be there.”
If it was anyone else stumbling through that awkwardness, I’d laugh, but it’s Ryan, so I choke on the chuckles. “Are you asking me to have sex?”
His eyes widen. “No. I would never ask that.
I mean, I would. Someday. Now if I could. But no. No. We’ll wait. Ah hell, Beth, can I screw this up any more than I already have?”
I smile at the word screw and Ryan catches it. He says a word I thought only pops out of my mouth. Ryan’s cheeks turn red and the
blush on his face makes me blush. God, we’re standing here acting like two virgins.
In fact, this whole week we’ve acted like virgins. We do this uncomfortable dance when I slip into his room and climb into his bed. He waits forever to kiss me, no matter how many signals I give. And when we do kiss—the fire between us is hotter than flames in hell. Then we reach certain points where neither one of us seem to want to cross the line. I’m used to guys pushing forward. I guess I could cross the lines, but the thought frightens me. Such a HC TITLE-AUTHOR
482
squeamish-little-girl feeling makes me want to slap myself. It’s not like I’ve never seen a guy’s penis before.
Ryan readjusts his hat and I tilt my head as I understand the agony marring his beautiful face. “You’re a virgin,” I say.
I curse internally when Ryan flips his hat back and yanks the bill hard over his face. Go ahead, Beth, embarrass the boy a little more.
Why don’t you ask him if he has a small dick,too? Talk about screwing things up. This is not the memory I want Ryan to have of me, but the knowledge he’s supplied will ensure I can give him something he’ll never forget: his first time.
I close the distance between us. He’s stiff when I wrap my arms around him and press
my cheek against his chest. “I don’t care. In fact, it makes you more perfect.”
Ryan sighs loudly, but his body relaxes
under my touch. His strong hands caress my back and weave through my hair. “I’m not
perfect, Beth.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Ryan!” Chris yells close to the tree line.
“Get your sorry ass over here. Logan took on a dare.”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
483
“Of course he did,” mumbles Ryan. He
keeps his arm around my shoulder and leads me back into the pasture.
Logan stands beside Chris and wears a crazy grin on his face. “Do you still have those bungee cords in your Jeep?”
“Yes,” Ryan answers hesitantly.
An excited gleam that frightens even me
sparkles in Logan’s eyes. “Great. Let’s go.”
Chris and Logan head toward the parked
cars. I nudge Ryan when he stays still. “Go.”
He traces circles on my arm. “It’ll only be a few minutes.”
“It doesn’t bother me if you want to hang with your friends.”
The sincerity swims in his eyes. “But I’m leaving you alone.”
“Not sure if you noticed, but sometimes I prefer to be alone.”
Ryan flips his hat back around, leans down, and his kiss warms areas that sweatshirts can’t touch. The second his lips leave mine, he pulls his baseball cap off and places it on top of my head. He laughs as the bill falls forward and covers my face. Not wanting him to take it back, I spin it and wear it backward. “You have HC TITLE-AUTHOR
484
a big head.”
“Naw,” he says. “You’re just small.”
With pride, I watch Ryan stride across the pasture. He’s a natural athlete with his broad shoulders and strong arms. My heart dances.
For the next ten days—he’s mine.
“I can’t believe you let Ryan put that hat on your head. He sweats in it.” Gwen emerges from the darkness and I immediately think of my fear of demons waiting in the shadows, ready to grab me in the dead of night.
“It doesn’t bother me.”
“If I was you I’d want to hide my hair too,”
she says, standing unusually close to me.
I’m going soft if she thinks she’s safe
speaking to me that way. Allison would love this chick. They share the same awful taste in clothes. “I remember pushing you to the
ground and making you cry in elementary
school for fucking with Lacy.”
“I remember you wearing the same damn
dress with holes and those pathetic ribbons.”
She stares at my wrist, then at my jeans. “I see your tastes haven’t changed.”
“No,” I say. “But Ryan’s have.”
Her face reddens and I smile. Damn, I really HC TITLE-AUTHOR
485
enjoy being me. I give her credit—Gwen
quickly rejoins the game. “Look, I’m trying to be helpful. Rumor at school says Ryan is only with you over a dare. Ryan and his friends take dares very seriously and he’d string you along in order to win. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good guy, but he’s a guy, you know? I would hate to see you take a fall once the dare’s complete.”
My entire body tenses. It’s the truth. He did ask me out on a dare, but I’m not a dare
anymore. I’m not. “Wow, Gwen. Thanks for
your concern. Is this where you ask me to braid your hair and then we’ll giggle about getting to first base with a boy?”
Gwen twines her golden hair around a
finger. I should bring her over to Scott as Exhibit B for why I hate blondes. “I’m trying to be your friend, Beth.”
“If you wanted to be my friend, you
wouldn’t have tried to slip your tongue in Ryan’s mouth last Tuesday when you cornered him after baseball practice.”
Blood drains from her face and I darkly
chuckle to rub in her embarrassment. She
didn’t think he would tell me. “Do I sound like HC TITLE-AUTHOR
486
a dare now?”
“Why haven’t you dropped out of the
homecoming court yet? They’re going to take yearbook pictures next week, so this would be the time to leave.”
“I’m not dropping out.” I’ll be leaving soon, but I won’t drop out. Ryan wowed me and I lost the dare. I have ten days to keep my word to him.
Gwen eyes me coolly. “I thought you didn’t want the nomination.”
I shrug. “I changed my mind.”
“You’re not going to win,” she says. “Some people don’t like you.”
My spine straightens. “Do I look like I give a fuck what people think of me?”
“You should,” she says. “Because Ryan
does. If you cared for him, you’d walk away.”
Gwen doesn’t wait for me to reply. She
tosses that sickening yellow hair over her shoulder and struts away like she’s queen.
Unwanted demons race into my mind, taunting me with her words. I’m only a dare. Ryan
doesn’t love me. I’m no good for him.
Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s wrong.
None of it matters. I’m here for ten days and HC TITLE-AUTHOR
487
even if that wasn’t the case, I have a bottle of rain to prove her wrong.
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
488
Ryan
CHRIS AND I BYPASS a woman with three
screaming children and an old guy guarding the shopping carts. It’s Tuesday evening and at Chris’s insistence, I drove the two of us into Louisville so we could shop at the Super Wal-Mart.
“Do you want to tell me why we’re here?” I ask. We have a Wal-Mart near the freeway
back in Groveton, but it’s a much smaller version and thirty years older.
“We know the people who work at our Wal-
Mart. More importantly, our parents know the people who work there.” Chris swings to the right, away from the food section and toward the pharmacy.
“So?”
“You want to keep Beth a secret from your parents, right?”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
489
I cringe when he says it that way, but in the end, it’s the truth. I want Beth to be my girl in every aspect of my life, but I need to pick my battles. I’m going to nail the writing competition, make the decision regarding
going pro or going to college, then own up to keeping Beth. “What does that have to do with Wal-Mart?”
Chris cuts into an aisle and waves his hand at the merchandise in front of him. “This.”
Condoms. Everywhere. I scratch the back of my neck and try to think of anything to say, but there isn’t a statement that could make this moment less uncomfortable.
“You need condoms,” says Chris.
Chris and I engulf the entire cramped aisle in front of the pharmacy. The middle-aged woman with the three kids eyes us as she walks past. “I’m taking it slow with Beth.”
“Slow wasn’t the position I caught the two of you in yesterday. I’m happy you’re happy, but none of us are going to be happy if little Ryans and Beths pop out of that girl.”
Point taken. Sex may not be in the plan, but it’s best to be prepared. “What do you use?”
He shrugs. “The normal shit. Are you going HC TITLE-AUTHOR
490
to do it? The writing competition?”
“Yeah.” The normal shit. That narrows it
down. I survey the assortment before me.
Colored, ribbed, lubricated, and because this experience isn’t God-awful enough—they have sizes.
“We need you against Eastwick,” Chris says flatly. “We’re a game behind Northside so we need two wins in order to move into first place.
If we don’t win against Eastwick on Saturday, then it doesn’t matter if we win or lose against Northside on Monday.”
“I can’t play fully for both games anyhow.
There’s a state law about how many innings I can pitch, remember?” How the hell am I
supposed to know what size I am? I don’t go around staring at guys’ dicks. I don’t think I’m small and I sure as hell wouldn’t buy small even if I was. A guy has to have some pride.
“But you could guarantee us the win on
Saturday against Eastwick, then play the later innings against Northside. You’ve dug us out of a hole before in later innings and if we get low on Monday, you could dig us out. Get the glow-in-the-dark ones. I bet Beth’s into freaky shit.”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
491
My stomach clenches. “Beth is not into
freaky shit.”
“I saw her tattoo. She’s a freaky shit kind of girl. Look, I get that you don’t want to back out of a competition, even if it is writing, but I’m not going to lie. You’re scaring the team.
You’re the leader, dawg, and what does it say when our leader walks from a game? The guys are starting to question if you’re losing your edge.”
I zero in on Chris. “What does that mean?”
Chris meets my glare and I discover he’s one of the “guys.” “I’ve never seen you walk from a dare in my life and you walked from the one with Beth. You just gave up.”
“I didn’t give up. I fell for her.”
“Exactly. You could have bagged the dare by bringing her to the next party, but you threw down the white flag the moment you hooked up with her. She’s got her hooks in you and I want to make sure she’s worth it.”
Not liking the tone or turn of this
conversation, I fold my arms over my chest.
“What are you trying to say?”
Chris’s muscles ripple as he inches near me.
“You’ve changed since she’s come to Groveton HC TITLE-AUTHOR
492
and I’m not sure I like it. It was us and baseball—what you used to care about. Then she comes around and it’s me, you, Beth,
writing, and sometimes baseball. You never once talked about going to college and now you want to walk from the pros. Who the hell are you?”
Who the hell am I? Who the hell is the guy in front of me? I step within swinging distance and, for the first time in my life, I’m willing to hit my best friend. “I’m the same damn guy who’s led this team year after year and I’m the same damn guy who encouraged you to date
our best friend. I can’t help it you never looked close enough to see I could be more than a man with a ball and a bat.”
We stare at each other. Unblinking.
Unmoving. Until Chris flexes his fingers and gestures to a box of studded condoms. “That’s some freaky shit too.”
I pull on the bill of my hat. What the hell?
Part of me wants to punch him. Part of me wants to ask what just happened between us. I go the easy route and let Chris off the hook.
“Show me what you get.”
What if she is into freaky shit? What if she HC TITLE-AUTHOR
493
wants ribbed? When do you need
lubricated? I don’t even want to think about the kind that says they’ll make her tingle.
“Does she have a latex allergy? That could suck if she does. I’ve heard stories of girls puffing up like blowfish and having to be rushed to the emergency room.”
My heart stops. “Really?”
“Naw, I’m messing with you, but I’d ask
about the latex allergy before you put it on.”
Two teenage girls walk down the aisle. One sips on a slushy and twirls her hair. They glance at each other and giggle. Heat rises on the back of my neck.
“I’m not you, Ry,” Chris says after they
round the corner. “I’m not going to college and I don’t have the pros knocking on my door.
Winning state this year, that’s my dream, and I need you in order to complete it. Promise me that you won’t let anything get in the way of that.”
Since I was seven years old I’ve glanced to my right and seen Chris backing me up
between third and second. He saved plays I screwed up because of my pitch. My insides twist with the startling revelation—regardless HC TITLE-AUTHOR
494
of the path I choose, come graduation,
Chris isn’t going to be the guy on my right anymore. “You guys can take Eastwick without me and you know it. Northside is the team with the hitters. In the spring, we’re going to state.
The only game I’m missing is Saturday and I wouldn’t walk away if I didn’t believe that you guys have it covered.”
Chris studies me and I silently urge him to be okay with this. He’s my best friend and I need us to be okay. He offers me his hand and I exhale.
“Swear it, dawg.”
I clasp it. “Sworn.”
An easy grin spreads across his face. “Pick something out and let’s get out of here.”
I try one more time. “Tell me what you get.”
Chris places his hands on his hips. “I’ve never bought condoms before. Lacy wants to wait until we graduate.”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
495
Beth
IT’S FRIDAY NIGHT and I inhale deeply before I knock. I have three days left until I leave. Ryan deserves better than me, but tonight I can pretend I’m good enough. The door opens and my heart starts, stops, and skips over itself when Ryan flashes that glorious smile with the right mixture of warmth and dimples.
“Hi,” he says. His voice alone creates
pleasing goose bumps on my arms.
“Hey.” I’m going to make love to you
tonight. Feeling shy, I glance away and I want to kick myself. Where’s the girl who could frighten football players with one look?
“You’re early.” Ryan closes the door and I move straight for his bedroom. Twice, Ryan tried to convince me to hang in another room, but being anywhere else in his perfect house reminds me that I can never measure up.
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
496
“Scott and Allison went to bed early.” I
lean against the door frame to his room and try to calm the thousands of feathers swirling in my stomach. “Chris isn’t stopping by, is he?”
“No. He knows I’m seeing you tonight and
that I have to be up early for my writing competition.” Ryan cups my waist with his hand. His thumb sneaks underneath my shirt and draws circles onto my skin.
I notice a bundle of papers tied together with two pink ribbons on the middle of his bed.
“What’s that?”
Ryan places some space between us, but
slides his fingers into mine. “A finished copy of ‘George and Olivia.’ It’s yours. So are the ribbons.”
“Cool.” Because it is. Ryan will do well at so many things when he graduates.
“Take a look at the title page.” Ryan releases me and I immediately miss his touch.
I plop on the bed, untie the bow, and blink—
Dedicated to the girl I love: Beth Risk. My fingers skim the page as if caressing the words will make them more real. George was a short story for class. Olivia came to life because Ryan couldn’t stop thinking about the story. He HC TITLE-AUTHOR
497
dedicated it to me because… because he
actually loves me.
A twinge of pain flashes in my chest. I could be happy here in Groveton. Scott’s not so bad.
In fact, I kinda enjoy waking in the morning and telling him about school. I appreciate how Scott nods while I talk and when I stop, how he asks questions to show he heard what I said. I adore sitting in class next to Lacy and listening to her ramble about useless gossip. I love health class and despite what Allison said, I’m becoming fond of science. I like watching Logan, Chris, and Ryan one-up each other. I like…I like…
I run my hand over the paper again. I love Ryan. I’m in love with him. I love how he smiles. I love how he moves. I love his hands on my body and his lips on mine. I love how he laughs. I love how he makes me laugh. I love how he can smooth away the roughness and make me feel like someone worth loving.
“It’s perfect.”
HC TITLE-AUTHOR
498
