Текст книги "Contrite"
Автор книги: Kathy Coopmans
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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 15 страниц)
My mind is jumping all over the place like a dammed flea. I need to calm down and pull myself together before I face Turner again. I am going to push all of this into the back of my mind until I have proof of my suspicions. The best way to find out the truth is to throw him off guard by acting as if his actions haven’t affected me at all.
I should just go upstairs to our room without saying anything and let him come to bed whenever he wants. Yeah, right. He would definitely know something is wrong, then. Our relationship doesn’t work that way. We never go to bed mad at each other, and we never go to sleep without telling each other good night, so I have to pretend everything is fine and not like every part of my body is shattered and broken. I take a deep breath. Even though I want to cry and break down right here on my living room floor, I can’t, and I won’t. I keep telling myself over and over to be strong.
“Turner.”
I tenderly touch his arm. He blinks a few times but his eyes stay riveted on the game.
“Hey. What time is it?” he asks tiredly.
“It’s ten-thirty and I thought our bed would be more comfortable than the couch. We can finish watching the game in bed, if you would like?”
His next words take me by surprise, casting a shadow of a doubt over him having an affair.
“Yes, Mrs. Calloway. Our bed is much more comfortable than this couch. I missed waking up and having you cradled in my arms. Every time I look at you, I can’t believe that you’re mine.”
He then reaches up and caresses my check with his hand and of course I lean into it. I have missed his sweet, gentle touch.
“I missed you so much, Turner.”
I reach my hand out for him to take and we head upstairs hand and hand to get ready for bed.
Hearing the sounds of his heavy breathing as I drift to sleep brings images of him doing this exact same thing with someone else. I will be damned if another woman takes what is mine. One thing is for certain. If he is having an affair, I will fucking kill both of them.
************
There is nothing like the feeling of caffeine coursing through my veins after a bad night’s sleep. My mind went off on a tangent last night when we climbed into bed. After Turner said those sweet things to me, he took care of his business in the bathroom and fell right back to sleep the minute his head hit the pillow. He never does that, and I mean, EVER. He has never gone to bed without kissing me goodnight or pulling me close to him. Sure, we have slept without spooning or cuddling, but never like this.
All these tormenting thoughts I had throughout the night had me getting up and taking this damn cigar card back out of his suitcase. As I sit here twirling it between my fingers, I keep wondering to myself if I am just reading something into all this that’s not there. One minute I am thinking there is no fucking way he would do this to me, and the next minute, BAM! I am second-guessing myself.
I hear the shower turn off indicating that Turner is done, so I stuff the card into the pocket of my black silk robe and go pour my husband a cup of coffee. He strolls into the kitchen with only a towel wrapped around his waist. His body is lightly toned and his strong, square jaw has a few days of dark scruff. I could eat him for breakfast, but as I watch him make his way into the kitchen, I banish those thoughts just as quickly as they come because the thought of another woman having her hands all over what has only ever been mine makes me stand there and shake.
“Good morning, Clove.” Graciously he puts his arms around me and kisses me softly on my lips. “You okay sweetheart? You’re shaking.”
A look of concern crosses his face and he furrows his brows. Snapping out of my funk, I muster a smile and lean forward and kiss him back.
“I’m fine, lover boy. I missed seeing you wandering around in just a towel in the morning, so I was admiring my view.”
My words must have an effect on him. I feel him growing hard and thick under the towel as he presses himself into me. Not today, buddy, I think to myself. He glances at the clock on the stove and then back to me.
“Shit. As much as I would love to take you back to bed and make slow, sweet, tortuous love to you, we have to get our asses to the office so you can catch me up on what I missed.”
I remove my hands from his chest as he steps away from me and starts to leave the kitchen. He pauses on the threshold and turns back around. I think he is going to say something to me, but instead he eyes his carryon bag which is sitting right by the door where he left it. Oh fuck. My eyes go wide as he walks over and picks it up.
“Hurry your sexy ass up so we can beat this fucking morning traffic, Clove.”
My mouth gapes wide open as I eyeball him walking right past me and right up the stairs as if everything were normal.
“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?” I mutter under my breath.
My mouth is still hanging open as we make the thirty minute drive to work and Turner acts as if nothing is wrong. I’m angrier than a swarm of bees. I cannot wait to get away from him this morning. I close the door to my office and call the only person who I trust enough to confide in. My brother.
Chapter Three
I do take my job seriously, but today I cannot put a damned thing into perspective as I sit here and go over the e-mail that Turner sent me with details about his conference. Instead, I sit here tapping my pencil on my desk and checking the clock every minute waiting for Turner to let me know he is heading to lunch with a client so I can call my brother. I place my elbows on my desk and rub my temples, trying to alleviate some of the tension. There is a slight knock on my door. I lift my head just as Turner walks in.
“Hey, babe. You all right?”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” I snap.
“You sure? You seem a little off this morning.”
“I’m sure, babe. You heading out for your lunch meeting?”
He doesn’t meet my eyes. If I hadn’t set this meeting up myself, I would think he was lying. He is looking everywhere but at me. Like a good little wife, I stand up and walk around my desk and wrap my arms around his neck. When I reach him, he pulls me into his chest.
“I’ll be back in a few hours or so, okay?”
“Okay. I’m going to keep going over this stuff you sent me and then I need to do some monthly reports, so have a good lunch.”
Turner surprises the shit out of me when he leans down and takes my mouth in a fiery kiss that has my senses on overload. His tongue demands entrance into my mouth and even though I have all these fears inside of me, I cannot help but kiss him back. We both start breathing heavily as our tongues twine together. He pulls my waist even tighter into him and I feel what this kiss is doing him. It’s doing the same to me. I feel the ache starting to stir between my legs.
“Holy fucking shit. Do I have to go to this fucking meeting?” Turner asks as he adjusts himself through his pants.
“Um. Yes, you do, but I will be waiting right here for you when you get back,” I lie. The minute he leaves, I am praying like hell that I can go visit Zack and tell him my suspicions.
“All right, then. We’ll finish this when I get back.” He places a small kiss on my cheek. “Do you want me to bring you something back? A salad or something?”
“I’m good. I can go across the street to the deli in a few. Now go before you’re late.”
I shoo him out of my office and listen to him grumble something about a bossy wife. I chuckle and then shut my door leaning my back up against it. I am proud of myself for the way I handled him. I bring my hand to my lips, softly pressing them, and close my eyes to relish the feel of how good his kisses are. But as hard as I try, I can’t hold back the vision of Turner with someone else. I can’t. My eyes fly open and on wobbly legs I make my way over to my desk to call my brother.
“Hey, sis.” Zack picks up on the first ring.
“Hey. How’s my handsome nephew?”
“He is so perfect, Clove. He’s taken to breastfeeding like a champ and makes the cutest little faces. I just can’t wait to do all that cool ass father and son stuff, you know?”
I am beaming with pride and happiness for my brother as I sit here and listen to him. I hate to tell him my qualms about Turner, but with him being a cop, I know he has the connections to help me find out what the hell is going on.
“So, how was Turner’s trip? Boring as fuck I bet,” he chuckles.
“Whatever, bro. He said it went well. Actually, Turner is the reason why I am calling.”
“What’s going on?”
He must hear the uneasiness in my voice with the sharp way he responds. Taking a deep breath, I lean back in my chair and tell him everything that has happened since my husband has returned home. . . not going into too much detail about the sex, but just enough to let him know that it was different than any other time before.
“Shit, Clove. That doesn’t sound like Turner at all. You sure you’re not reading the signs wrong? I mean, hell, you two have never been apart like this before. Maybe he was just tired and couldn’t wait to get home.”
I shake my head back and forth even though I know he cannot see me.
“No,” I state a little too loudly. “I am telling you that something is not right, Zack. I know my husband better than anyone else, and he is not acting right. Something is off. I don’t know why I think he’s having an affair . . . maybe that’s not it, but something is definitely not right with him. I– I’m so scared. I just can’t lose him. Not like this. And especially not to another woman.” Tears start to rapidly flow down my cheeks.
“Hey. Come on, now. Don’t start crying. There has to be a logical explanation for all of this, and you know it. Like I said before, I just can’t see Turner cheating on you, Clove. That man loves you, and you know it. You’re overreacting here. There is just no way.”
I try and process what he is saying and I know he knows Turner, but shit, I know him better. I know when something is off with him and there is. I can feel it. Every part of my body feels it.
“I’ll tell you what, why don’t you tell him when he gets back that I invited you guys over for dinner tonight for him to meet Nolan, and I will feel him out and see what I think?”
I take a deep breath and let it out.
“Okay. Sure. I would love to see my little nephew myself, anyway. What time should we come over? Oh, wait. Are you sure Krista is up for company? I mean, she did just have a baby a week ago, you know. I am sure she is exhausted.”
“We’re both exhausted, sis, but not enough that I can’t have my sister over for a few hours. Besides, I will stop and pick up a couple pizzas on the way. She’ll be fine with it.”
“Well, if you’re sure then yes, I would love that. Oh, and Zack? Please don’t say anything about this to dad. You know how he worries all the damn time.”
My face grows sadder as I think about my father and how much he worries about the two of us.
“I won’t say anything to anyone, Clove, not even Krista. I have a feeling that everything is fine and you’re just being paranoid over nothing. I should be home by five, so why don’t you two just come over straight from work, okay?”
“Sounds good. Thank you, Zack.”
“Hey, anything for you and you know that. Now get back to work crunching stupid ass numbers or whatever the hell it is that you do.”
Forcing a small smile, I hang up with my brother and feel a little bit lighter about the situation after talking to him. Yet that doubt still lingers, and frankly it scares me to death.
A few hours later, I am knee-deep in reports when I hear Turner outside of my door talking to our secretary, Mandy. I look up from the pile of papers on my desk just in time to see him strut through my door.
“How did it go?”
“It went good. Really good. We got the job!” he smiles enthusiastically.
“That’s great, Turner! Nice job.”
“Well, I wouldn’t give myself all the credit, Clove. You seemed to impress them just as much as I did. Even more so, I think.” He quirks his eyebrow.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It doesn’t mean anything. I just believe you won them over before I had a chance to. Are you upset with me about something? Is it about last night, because I thought I apologized for my behavior?”
“No, I’m fine. Exhausted, I guess. I didn’t sleep very well when you were gone and I think it’s all catching up to me now,” I lie. Making his way over to my desk, he stands behind me and gently starts to rub my shoulders in his big strong hands.
“You’re so tense.”
“Mmhmm,” is all I can seem to get out as I let myself relax under his touch. His hands caress and massage my flesh and it feels so good. When his hands start to roam lower, that is when my body seems to tense up again as he dips his hand inside my gray silk blouse.
“The door is open, Turner. What if Mandy walks in?”
“Who cares if she walks in, Clove? We’re married, for fuck’s sake, and if I want to feel my wife up in her office then I can.” He bends down and nips the side of my neck as he pinches my nipples through my lacy bra. “God, I love how your tits feel in my hands. You’re so fucking perfect and I can’t wait to bury my dick inside that tight pussy that belongs to me.”
Both of our breathing becomes ragged as he pinches and tugs my nipples. I have lost all reason and control of my body with his touch. When my toes start to curl and my body starts twisting with desire, and I start to writhe from the pure onslaught of his seduction, that’s when he stops and spins me around in my chair. My look shoots daggers up at him in frustration.
“You asshole! You start that and don’t finish? Now I am pissed off at you.”
“No you’re not, because you know I’ll finish the job later. There is no way in hell that you’re going to come without me being able to lick up every last drop of your sweet self. Now get your ass back to work and let’s be out of here by five and go grab something to eat somewhere.”
“Oh! I almost forgot! I talked to Zack and he invited us over for some pizza so you could meet Nolan tonight after work. I told him it was okay.”
“Um. Sure. All right. But only for a few hours, all right? I need to finish what I just started, and I would prefer to have my wife naked and squirming underneath me in our bed while my dick slides into your perfect pussy as it commands me to fuck you.” He stares down at me with hunger in his eyes.
“I would love that, too.”
He bends down and gives me a chaste kiss and spins my chair back around.
“I love you, Clove,” he says as he walks out the door. Fuck me if I am not more confused than ever right now. The man that was just in here was the attentive husband I remember, with his long, strong fingers. His penetrating, intent look said he only sees me.
And yet, his mouth . . . his filthy damn mouth has my core convulsing with need and a desperate ache for him to march his ass right back in here and fuck me right here on my desk. But even though the lower half of my body enjoyed his dirty talk, the upper half that holds my heart is desperate to know why the hell his unfamiliar, foul words leave me with such desire for him to do exactly what he said he wanted to do.
************
“You all set, Turner?”
I peek my head into his office as he is just hanging up the phone. He sneaks a quick, guilty look my way as if I have caught him doing something wrong. And maybe I have. Maybe he has secretly gotten himself hooked on watching porn, or maybe he was e-mailing his lover? Shit. All the extra layers of my skin want to crawl off of my body at the thought of not being enough for him.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
He stands up and shuts down his computer, then grabs his suit jacket off the back of his chair. He places his hand on the small of my back and guides me out of his office. You know the sparks and electric shocks that crawl up your body and seep into your pores when the man you love touches you? They’re not there like they always have been before. There’s nothing, no sense of affection in the way he touches me. It’s like he’s a damn robot being programmed what to do and I don’t like this strange alien feeling coming over me. In fact, I despise it.
Shutting off all of the lights except for the one in the reception waiting area, we pass the front desk where Mandy has already left for the day. Turner pulls his keys from his jacket pocket and locks up the door, and without another word he heads toward the car.
“So, tell me more about Nolan,” Turner says as he turns the radio down, speeding up as we hit the highway.
“Like I told you on the phone, he’s a mini Zack. You’re going to love him, Turner,” I gush.
“I know I will, and I can’t wait to meet him.”
Turner seems more relaxed and back to his old self as we draw closer to my brother’s house. He’s like Jekyll and Hyde. Hot and cold. I have no clue what will come out of his mouth next or how he will react. My palms start to get sweaty as we turn into Zack and Krista’s neighborhood and anxiety starts to set in as we pull into their drive, but the minute we put the car into park and I see my brother walk out with the baby cradled close to him, everything dissipates. I climb out of my car and walk up the sidewalk with my arms outstretched indicating that he hand the baby over to me.
“Hey, I just got home and I don’t want to give him up yet,” Zack says teasingly.
“Too bad, let me have him,” I demand.
Zack hands him over to me and all is forgotten for the time being as I stare at my handsome nephew.
“Look at him, Turner.” I pivot around so he can see. “Isn’t he just the cutest little thing?” I give Turner a fleeting look to see his reaction. He takes a quick perusal of the baby and simply nods.
“You can hold him when I’m done.”
“Hell, no. I am not holding him. I’ll probably drop him or something.”
He holds his hands up in protest and I can imagine the shocked look on my face as well. My throat instantly becomes dry at his sudden outburst and lack of attention toward the baby. My brother must pick up on my tense anger as he takes a few steps in Turner’s direction sticking his hand out for him to shake.
“Turner, man. How was your trip?” Zack asks as I walk up the few steps into their house.
I want my brother to see what he thinks and to act like nothing is wrong, so I leave them be to have guy talk. I shut the door and walk into their house being extra cautious with every step. I am so engrossed in this bundle of joy in my arms. I can’t help it; he is just the most handsome and perfect baby I have ever seen.
“Hey, Krista. How you feeling?” I sit down by her on the couch.
“I am worn out, deadbeat tired. But boy is it worth it every time I look at my little man, here.” She reaches up and rubs the top of his head.
“He has so much brown hair; it’s crazy, isn’t it?” I ask while examining his beautiful hair and his tiny little features.
“Let’s just hope it stays that way and he doesn’t lose it all. Not a fan of bald-headed men.” We both burst out laughing at her words.
“I bet you had quite the homecoming last night when your man got home, huh?”
Krista nudges me in the shoulder jokingly. Krista and I have always been extremely close. She’s more than just my sister in law; she’s one of my best friends. I know I can trust her with anything, but she just had a baby and I know she would worry herself sick about this.
“It was incredible. He’s not leaving me again, I can tell you that much, but it was so worth it to see you born, wasn’t it, little man?”
I turn myself away from Krista and coo at the baby so she doesn’t see the concern written all over me. I have never been able to put on a poker face and hide how I truly feel. In less than twenty-four hours, these unknown emotions have become more like an obsession. If I hadn’t called my brother earlier, he would have noticed right away and badgered the hell out of me until I caved and either started crying or losing my shit.
I contemplate how peaceful Nolan is lying sound asleep with not a care in the world as I cradle him in my arms. Babies give you a sense of peace, especially one as perfect as this one.
The guys walk in a few minutes later and I try to hand the baby over to Turner, but he just won’t hold him.
“Fine, then. I will keep him all to myself.”
Zack picks up on the sudden tension radiating off of me, carefully bringing the baby up to rest his head on my shoulder as I pat his little bottom. My eyes dart over to him in hopes of some sort of sign from him to affirm my suspicions of Turner’s erratic behavior.
Something isn’t right at all; I can feel it. I know my brother too well. He is watching Turner like a hawk, with a gaze that could cut him into a million pieces. What the hell happened outside? My instincts turn out to be spot on when my brother starts asking Turner all kinds of questions, tension crackling in his voice.
Am I the only one picking up on it? Turner acts oblivious to the drilling. Out of blue, Zack starts bringing up things from our past, things that only the four of us would know about. I don’t know if it’s Turner’s delayed reaction to a few of the questions or if my nerves are so frazzled from everything in my head, but the hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise. I need to get out of this room.
Neither one of them pay me the slightest bit of attention when I leave. I head into the baby’s room and lay him down in his adorable crib, pulling his tiny comforter over him. He’s so peaceful as I as I stand there watching him.
“He’s something else isn’t he?” Zack whispers from the doorway.
“He is. He’s perfect, really.”
I turn away from the crib and search my brother’s face for any clue as to what he is thinking now. Zack’s forehead is crinkled, worry sketched all over his face.
“What is it?” I ask softly, not wanting to wake the baby.
“Listen to me, I need to make this quick. Something is off about him; I knew it the minute he said he wouldn’t hold Nolan.”
I try to respond but Zack grips my hand, squeezing it gently as he places a finger over my mouth to shush me.
“Not a word. We will get through dinner and let me handle this. In the meantime, you have to continue to act as if you suspect nothing, Clove. Can you do that?”
I nod. More confusion and concern settles deep into my gut.
“I have one question.”
Zack leans his head out the door then directs his attention right back to me.
“Go ahead.”
“Should I be worried? I mean, what the hell is going on? You drilled him in there; it felt more like an inquisition.”
Zack places his hands on my shoulders.
“Do you trust me, Clove?” he asks gravely.
“Of course I trust you. Why?”
“Then just do what I ask. Act like everything is normal and I promise you, I will find out what the hell is going on.”
“Okay.”
Zack must hear the worry in my voice as he brings me in for a tight hug, placing a kiss on my forehead. We’re interrupted by Krista calling to us that dinner is ready. He releases me and as I follow him down the hall, I say a silent prayer for strength. Something tells me this is going to be a shock to my system that is going to slash my heart wide open, and all I can do is stand there and watch myself bleed.
************
Turner seems to be back to normal and talk comes rather easily to all of us during dinner. Zack puts up quite a front pretending everything is fine, until he notices the way Turner constantly sneaks glances at Krista. Every time she gets up, he checks her out from head to toe.
Krista is one of the most gorgeous women you will ever meet, both inside and out, with her long legs and long, wavy blonde hair. She has a face like a supermodel with small features and big, blue eyes. You can barely tell that she just had a baby. She gained only twenty-five pounds during her pregnancy and Nolan weighed a little over eight.
She’s a complete knockout, but to have my husband eye-fucking her right in front of his wife, let alone her husband, is about as low as you can get. I could poke his damn eyeballs out with my fork. By the look on Zack’s face, I can tell that thunder is brewing and lightning is striking in his head.
I don’t have the slightest clue how to handle any of this or what in the fuck I am going to do. One thing I know for certain is that I’d better get Turner out of this house, because the way my brother’s eyes are shooting daggers at him, it’s not going to be long before he is up out of his chair and in Turner’s face, and there will be nothing I can do to save him. Once you have pissed off Zack Becker, he’ll massacre you with his bare hands.
I pick up my plate and help Krista clear the table. Normally, I would stay and help her clean up, but I think it’s best to get Turner out of Zack’s reach, now.
Krista seems surprised by our abrupt departure, but I can tell she’s more tired than she lets on because she doesn’t say a word about it. I will call you tomorrow, Zach mouths at me over her shoulder as I hug and kiss her goodbye.
