Текст книги "Avoiding Decisions"

Автор книги: K. A. Linde

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 5 страниц)

CHAPTER 4

THE DATE

He should call the whole thing off.

Jack stared down at his phone, wavering back and forth. He knew that if he broke off the date right before the event, he would look like a total dick. Not a good first impression. But if he didn’t call it off and it ended up being a real date…then he’d feel even more like a dick.

In the end, it was this backward way of arguing with himself that led to his decision. If he were going to look like a dick either way, then he would rather spend time with Lexi. He was probably overanalyzing this anyway. This probably wasn’t even a date.

Seth, Luke, and Michael had left to pick up Hunter and Clark. Jack knew that Seth was trying to get out of his hair. Despite the fact that he and Seth had gone to dozens of parties, bought drinks for girls, and then danced and flirted, Jack had never done anything like this before. There was always a point where he was like…well, time to get back to Danielle. Seth would bring a girl or two home, and Jack would go to bed alone. There wasn’t even a moment when he’d thought it would be any other way. He was pretty sure that Seth believed that would change tonight, so he had left Jack alone.

Jack was happy for the reprieve, but he couldn’t let anything happen.

“Fuck it.” He shook his head and shoved his phone in his pocket.

He had already made up his mind. He wasn’t going to go back on it.

Jack walked out to his car and revved the engine. He shot off a text message to Lexi, saying he was on the way. He didn’t live too far from the dorms, so it was a quick commute. Soon enough, he was driving up to the front of Russell Hall. He pulled over, turned on his hazard lights, and called Lexi to let her know he was here.

She answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Hey, do you want me to come upstairs?” Jack asked.

“Nah. No point in making you try to get past security. I’ll be right down.”

Jack hung up the phone and waited for her to leave the dorm. A few minutes later, he saw a girl racing down the steep hill to where his car was parked. Her dark hair had been tamed and slicked back into a high ponytail. Her curls bounced up and down as she jogged down the hill. She looked great in dark skinny jeans and a green tank top that hugged her in all the right places.

She reached his car, opened the door, and slid into the black leather seat. He stared at her just long enough to see that she had on that same damn pink lip gloss. For a split second, he wanted to lean over and kiss those plump lips, but then he recovered himself. Letting off the clutch, he flew down the road.

Jack took a breath, already relaxing in her presence. All the anxiety from worrying about whether or not this was the right idea fell away from him.

“So, where are we going?” Lexi asked.

She leaned back into the seat as he took a turn.

“It’s a surprise.”

“Hmm…I like surprises.”

“I thought you might.” Jack glanced at her briefly, taking in her slight smile.

He put his iPod on shuffle, and John Mayer’s acoustic cover of “Free Fallin’” filtered through the speakers. He veered the car toward their destination, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in time with the guitar chords.

“Do you play?” Lexi asked.

“A little.”

“Oh yeah? What instruments?”

He chuckled softly, thinking about the answer to this question. He had been kind of a musical fiend when he was younger. He had picked up every instrument imaginable. He wasn’t wonderful at any of them, but he was good at pretty much all of them. “Just guitar, bass, piano, saxophone, and some drums, but I’m really rusty.”

“Jesus!” Lexi cried. “All I can do is sing.”

“Oh, and I sing.” He smirked as he hit the brake at a red light.

“Well, don’t you seem to be good at everything?” Lexi said, staring up at him through thick dark lashes.

Jack hastily returned his attention to the road, but he still watched her out of the corner of his eye. “You just wait and see.”

“I look forward to it.” She giggled, turning back around to face the front.

Jack’s smirk grew with her laughter. Something about Lexi seemed to just fit. She was so easy to be around. There was no forcing the conversation. There were no awkward silences. There was only Jack and Lexi.

He took the last turn to their destination, and Lexi’s eyes widened considerably. Before them, on an expanse of university property that was typically just an empty field, stood a recently constructed carnival with university students flooding the park. A giant Ferris wheel with dozens of bright twirling carts rested at the center of the field with carnival rides and booths surrounding it.

“I didn’t know a carnival was coming through town!” Lexi cried.

“One night only,” Jack explained. “The university sets up celebrations like this throughout the year. Since you’re new, I thought I’d take you to the first one of the year.”

He was rewarded with a gorgeous smile that knocked him breathless. He was glad that she liked the surprise, but if she kept looking at him like that, she wouldn’t have any pink lip gloss on by the end of the night.

A plump older man in an orange vest was waving a light stick to direct them into a makeshift parking spot on the lawn.

The couple trekked across the muddy terrain toward the vinyl ticket booth. After handing over their student identification cards, the student association representative slid the cards through a reader. The machine dinged each time, confirming their authenticity.

“Have a good time, and don’t forget to grab a complimentary T-shirt on your way out,” the woman said.

She handed them back their cards with one hand and used the other to gesture toward a display of boxes containing hundreds of bright green tees.

“Thanks,” Jack said.

He grabbed Lexi’s arm and raced through the entrance. She laughed completely and totally carefree as she rushed after him through the bright flashing carnival signs and booths. Jack pulled up short when he saw who was standing directly in front of them.

Damn! He thought he would have had more alone time with Lexi before he ran into his friends.

Between his five friends, they were counting out at least several hundred orange paper tickets, like little kids at Chuck E. Cheese. Each looked more excited than the next. Seth and Clark began trying to steal each other’s tickets, and Jack shook his head, expecting a fight to break out any minute. He laughed at their behavior, not surprised in the least.

“Hey, guys,” he said, casually approaching them with Lexi.

They all stared at her with knowing smiles on their faces.

He could have punched them, but instead, he just swept out his hand and said, “This is Lexi.”

Thankfully, the guys gave their names and nodded hellos without completely embarrassing him. He hadn’t known what to expect from his friends when they would inevitably meet her. Maybe Seth had talked some sense into them.

After introductions, they had to decide which ride to hit first. Seth took the lead as per usual, and he started to push them toward the bumper cars. When Luke put up a fight, claiming they always ganged up on him, he and Seth started arguing.

Jack laughed as they bickered, but his focus was on Lexi. She seemed completely relaxed with his friends. They were a lively bunch, and most girls didn’t seem to fit in right away. He liked that she had no such problems.

Overriding Luke’s complaints, the group got into the line for the bumper cars.

Jack moved closer to Lexi, taking a little too much pleasure in sidling up to her. He whispered in her ear, “We actually do gang up on Luke. Better make sure you join in on the fun. His reaction will be well worth it.”

She nodded and even seemed anxious to mess with Luke.

Had Jack ever met a girl who immediately followed along with their joking?

As expected, Luke got rocked on the bumper cars. When he came off the ride, he started swinging at anything he could get his hands on. He even knocked over a tiny blonde in his angst. His friends’ laughter only egged him on further.

Without thinking, Jack slung his arm across Lexi’s shoulders as they laughed. As she turned into him, trying to catch her breath through giggles, he breathed in sharply. He needed to stop this. Why did she make that so hard?

“I cannot believe him,” Lexi said, breaking contact, as she wiped away tears of laughter.

“He is a riot,” Jack confirmed.

They watched Luke try to punch Seth, but Seth ducked under Luke’s halfhearted blow easily.

“Why don’t we get you something to rot your teeth?” Jack suggested.

He wanted her away from the walking comedy act, so he could have her all to himself again. He grabbed her hand and pulled her away toward a cotton candy machine. Her hand fit perfectly in his, and he quickly dropped it when he came to that realization.

Needing to change the subject, Jack asked, “So, tell me, Lex, what do you normally do on Friday nights?”

She shrugged. “I hang out with my roommate or Olivia, go downtown, see movies, game nights, dinners, fraternity parties.”

She seemed to add the last part reluctantly.

“Cool. I like to do all of those things,” Jack said with an easygoing smile.

“Fraternity parties?”

“Mike’s in a fraternity,” he told her. “So, yes, even fraternity parties. Probably not as often as my freshman year though.”

After they ordered cotton candy, they made their way toward the Ferris wheel. When Jack offered the candy to Lexi, she snatched a piece of it and stuck it in her mouth. He stared down at her mouth where pink sugar had mingled with her lip gloss. He couldn’t seem to pull his eyes away.

Lexi licked her lips, and Jack swallowed.

He would really like to know what that tasted like.

“You’re such a mess,” he said, trying to cover his inappropriate thoughts.

They stopped at the line for the Ferris wheel, which was wrapped around the ride. Jack popped some cotton candy into his mouth as she watched the machine transfixed. He didn’t even see the giant ride when standing next to her.

He let the sugar dissolve in his mouth before speaking. “What’s your major?”

“As of today, I’m undecided.” She seemed happy about it.

“An indecisive one, I like it.”

“I’m not indecisive. Just open minded.”

“Same thing.”

“Well, what’s your major, Mr. Decisive?” She stuck one hand on her hip and gave him with a knowing look.

“I’m not decisive, just practical. I’m pre-business, likely going to the accounting route. Not so sure though.”

Lexi wrinkled her nose. It was adorable.

“Eww. I’ll forestall practical. Thank you!”

He found himself laughing at her forthrightness. She didn’t seem to hold anything back.

“Yeah, it’s what I’m good at.”

“At least there are a lot of jobs out there for you. Not much a person can do while being undecided, and what I really want to do has only a few more jobs than that,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

“And what is that? What do you really want to do?” he asked very seriously. Despite the joking, he found that he was actually very interested in what she wanted to do with her life. It suddenly mattered a lot to him.

She paused before answering. “Gymnastics.”

“That’s awesome,” he said, noticing all the wonderful muscles gymnastics had put on her small frame. And…she was probably flexible. He needed to stop that line of thinking or else it could get embarrassing.

He knew the gymnastics captain. He wondered if Lexi had been recruited or if she had tried walking on. “Have you talked to the gymnastics team here? If you like it so much, you should try out.”

“No,” she responded solemnly.

“Why not?

“You don’t just try out for the gymnastics team here. They’re amazing. If they don’t recruit you, then you have no chance. No walk-ons. Nothing.”

“How do you know that? Were you recruited?”

“No, I wasn’t,” she said sharply.

Oh, sore subject. He should introduce her to Krista. Maybe that would help.

“Oh, well, I know one of the gymnasts. I bet she could talk to the coach. Even if you can’t be on the team, you could probably practice with them.”

The glance she gave to him was as if she were approaching a martian.

“Okay, maybe not,” he said, raising his eyebrows. He took another bite of cotton candy to prevent himself from speaking again.

“Even if I could get to talk with the coach, there would be no way she would let me practice with them.”

“Never know until you try,” he said, swallowing the remaining bit.

She was hot when she got herself all riled up. Luckily, they were now at the front of the line, so he didn’t have time to think about it again.

Jack handed the man four orange tickets, and then he ushered Lexi into a big swinging yellow bucket with the number twenty-five plastered against the back. He recognized the guy working, and as Lexi took a seat, he asked the guy to do him a favor. The guy laughed, called him an asshole, and told him to sit down.

Once Jack took his seat next to Lexi, the Ferris wheel began to rotate in an endless circle. Jack smirked at Lexi, and then started shaking their bucket back and forth. She grabbed on to the sides and squeaked. The girl in the bucket in front of them started threatening them, but he just laughed.

Lexi put her hand on his knee. “Calm down. We don’t want to get kicked off!”

“I know the guy who’s running it. No way we’ll get kicked off,” Jack said.

But he stopped anyway and used that moment to throw his arm across the back of the bucket seat. Lexi relaxed until she was almost leaning into him but not quite. He wondered what she was thinking.

As they made their final rotation, the ride crawled to a stop at the very top, looking out across the open fields. Jack smiled, silently thanking his friend, as the sun was setting low on the horizon, casting the last sliver of orange, pink, and red on the sky.

The world was lost to them in that moment, and without a second thought, he dropped his arm across her shoulders and drew her into him, her head falling into the crook of his neck. She fit into him like she was the missing puzzle piece. She sighed contentedly just as the sun dropped from the sky, leaving them to stare out at the twinkling white stars burning in the distance.

They spent the next several hours perusing the carnival life. He even won her a huge teddy bear from a dart game. She held it tightly as they made their way toward the exit with the rest of the crowd. An associate stuffed two green T-shirts into their hands as they stepped across the threshold.

Later that evening, Jack drove Lexi back to her dorm. The whole time he couldn’t stop wishing that the night didn’t have to end. He’d had a great time with her, and despite all the complications, he really wanted to see her again. It felt like only seconds before he was pulling up in front of her dorm again.

“Do you want me to park and walk you up?” Jack asked. He turned on his warning blinkers again.

“No, not necessary. Thanks,” Lexi said, collecting her things to exit.

He couldn’t let her just leave like that. He’d had too good of a time to let her just leave like that.

“Hey, wait,” he said. He threw the car in park and ran around to the other side.

He had to say good night. Fuck everything else…he just had to. It was Lexi.

As soon as she was at arm’s length, he reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. When she slid her arms up around his neck, he pushed their bodies flush together as he stood there, letting her legs dangle.

He couldn’t help feeling like she belonged there. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted to put her back in the car and take her to his place. He wanted to kiss her, explore her. He wanted to know everything about her little body. He wanted to know everything about her. Just her.

Fuck. What was he doing?

With her pressed into him, all he could think was that it didn’t matter.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t leave without a hug,” he whispered.

“Oh no,” she said breathily, “I don’t mind at all.”

He had to restrain himself as he placed her back on her feet. He couldn’t kiss her. No, he couldn’t go that far. He wouldn’t do that to Danielle—no matter how ready he was to break up with her, no matter how much he wanted Lexi, no matter how much Lexi was staring up at him like she would go back with him.

He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. He’d give himself that much. But that was it. He needed to get out of there before he changed his mind.

Straightening abruptly, he turned and fled. He felt like a coward…even if he was doing the right thing.

CHAPTER 5

CHOICES, CHOICES

Jack hadn’t been able to stay away from Lexi. Something was wrong with him. What kind of dick keeps letting her show up when he couldn’t find the right time to tell her about his girlfriend?

She kept appearing at the coffee shop, chatting with him in between studying for her tests. Then, he started bringing coffee to her at her classes. She began coming over to the apartment and playing video games with the guys.

Soon, she was always around, and he liked her being around all the time. And the more he liked her being around, the less he wanted to tell her about Danielle.

He tried to keep his distance. He would never be around her when he was drinking. He didn’t trust himself to not do anything.

On the first game day, she had tailgated with friends on the other side of campus, which was a relief because Danielle had shown up. He’d had no idea how he would have explained that.

When he had gone home last weekend, he thought about breaking up with Danielle. Sure, a large part of the reason that he hadn’t done it was probably due to the sex, but they had been together for so long that when he was with her, it was just different. He didn’t know what he wanted to do.

Then, there was the time that he almost hadn’t been able to hold it back. Lexi had come over for to watch a movie on Sunday night, and she had dressed up for him. She was all smiles and flirting. He had picked her up and carried her into his room, kicking himself the whole time but knowing that he wasn’t going to stop.

He had tried to tell her. He’d tried to say what she was driving him to do, but then she had straddled him, and he was lost. If his phone hadn’t rang in that moment—with fucking Danielle calling no less—he knew he wouldn’t have stopped. And it scared him.

Lexi terrified him. How did she have such control over him? He’d never cheated on anyone before. That wasn’t the kind of person he was! But when those big brown eyes stared up at him, begging and pleading, and she smiled up at him with her pouty lips coated in pink lip gloss…he fucking forgot who he was.

But he hadn’t kissed her. And he wouldn’t.

She was coming over later, and he was going to end it. He was going to tell her everything. That was the way it had to be.

Jack sighed and picked up his phone to call Danielle. Maybe if he heard her voice, it would remind him that he was making the right decision.

“Oh my God, is Jack Howard calling me?” Danielle asked snootily into the phone.

“Yeah.” Jack scrunched up his eyebrows. What the fuck was her deal?

“Well, that’s new. I thought I was the only one who called anymore,” she snapped.

“Apparently not,” he said, gritting his teeth. He didn’t know how much of this conversation he could handle if she was going to act like a bitch.

“Are you going to come see me this weekend? Or do I have to drive to Athens again?”

The way she said the word again was like he had never driven down to see her, but he had just been there two weeks ago.

And suddenly, he realized…he didn’t even want to see her this weekend. “Actually, I’m working all weekend. I can’t come down to Savannah, and you’d just be stuck here all alone.”

“So, now, you don’t even want me in Athens!” she snapped.

“Danielle, do you have something you want to say? Because I’m tired of this passive-aggressive shit,” he barked, surprised by his anger bubbling up.

“I’m fine. Fine!”

“You’re clearly not fine, so just spit it out.”

“Fine! You know what? I’m tired of being the one putting all the effort into this relationship. I’m tried of traveling and calling and messaging and trying to spend every ounce of time with you when you only want to fuck me. I’m tired of you not acting like you used to. I’m still your girlfriend, and I don’t even feel second-best…I feel last!” she said, her voice cracking. He heard the tears in her voice.

God, he hated crying.

“Stop crying, Jesus. You’re not last in my life.” Was she?

“Yes…yes, I am! You don’t even know how you treat me!”

“How do I treat you?” he asked in frustration.

“Like I’m last! Work, school, the guys, parties…everything comes before me. How can we have a relationship if that’s how you treat me, Jack?”

“I don’t know.” And he really didn’t. Maybe…they couldn’t.

“Well, if you don’t know, then I certainly don’t. So, maybe…maybe we should just take a break!” she chirped

“Fine,” he responded immediately. “Whatever.”

“Fine!”

The line went dead in his hand. She had hung up on him. They were on a break.

Whoa. What the hell had just happened? And how had it spiraled out of control so fast?

He flung his phone onto the couch and stormed into his bedroom. He needed to take a shower or do something to get his mind off of this. He couldn’t believe she had just done that.