Текст книги "Winter Kill "

Автор книги: Josh lanyon

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“How could he know that?” What Rob was thinking was, the first time I met you, I knew you were the guy. A one way street, it seemed. “Did the other guy feel the same?”

“I guess he did. They’re still together.” Adam said, “So I don’t have a lot of faith in long distance. But we could try. It’s not ideal, but I…care for you. I don’t know how it happened so fast. We don’t really know each other. And that’s what I mean. We should take it slow, get to know each other a lot better before we…” His voice trailed.

Take it, Rob told himself. It’s the best offer you’ll get. It’s the only offer you’ll get.

He was dismayed to hear himself saying, “Okay. But best case scenario is that eventually we’re going to have this conversation again, right? Sooner or later aren’t we going to be back at this point?”

Adam rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know. We’ve known each other all of five days. We’re discussing…well, what are we discussing?”

“Retiring together in about twenty years?” It wasn’t really funny though.

Adam looked pained. “I can’t turn this job down, Rob. I’ve got to take it. This kind of opportunity only comes once. If it comes at all.”

“I know.”

“But it doesn’t mean that I can’t have a personal life. Planes fly both ways across the country.”

“Yep. They do.”

“We could figure out some kind of schedule. It won’t be easy, but if it’s important to both of us, we can make it work.”

“Yes. We should be able to do that.”

“We don’t have to decide this now,” Adam said. “Right?”

“Right,” Rob reassured.

But he knew—they both knew—the decision had already been made.

Epilogue

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

That had been the message on Cynthia Joseph’s wall, and maybe there was some truth to it, but when Adam’s front door closed behind him and he dropped his carryall, he wasn’t searching for much beyond a shower and a good sleep.

He still felt frustratingly weak, and the effort of carrying his own luggage had left him shaking and drenched in sweat. That was probably the reason for his inexplicable depression.

Not totally inexplicable. He already missed Rob. Badly.

He was glad to be home, of course. Grateful for sunshine and the absence of snow, glad for peace and privacy. But surely home was more than a supply of hot water, clean towels, and a safe place to sleep.

Of course it was. And one day he would recapture that…feeling he’d had with Rob.

One thing he did not believe—had never believed—was that there was only one right person for anyone. Soulmates? He didn’t buy into that concept. But there was no denying he had felt something for Rob he’d never experienced with anyone else. Not even with Tucker, who he’d always thought of as the one who got away.

What he did believe—had learned the hard way—was that timing was everything. Life did not guarantee second chances. Sometimes you only got one shot.

Which was why he was so happy—yes, happy—about this job with the BAU. Why he had to take it. Why he could not, must not, turn down this opportunity. Kennedy was offering him his life back. He would be on track once more. Reputation restored, future reinstated. The work would be challenging and absorbing—and he’d be doing it with Jonnie instead of Russell.

Except.

Except he’d be chasing serial killers. Something he’d never wanted to do. Fascinating, maybe, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get another good night’s sleep.

And he’d be living in Virginia, x   miles away from Rob.

Which didn’t change the fact that almost anyone he knew would jump at this chance. Russell would jump at it. Russell would probably be willing to kill him for it. Actually Russell was probably ready to kill him on general principles.

Well, he wouldn’t have to put up with Russell for much longer.

If he took the job.

And of course he was going to take the job. It would be irresponsible not to. Even Rob had said he’d be crazy not to take it.

Sam Kennedy wouldn’t ask twice. This was a one-time offer. Take it or leave it.

The problem was, he couldn’t shake the feeling that by taking the position on Kennedy’s team he was passing up another and more important opportunity. A chance at something that was even more rare than the chance to become one of Kennedy’s elite man hunters.

Adam got out a bottle of gin, carefully poured a drink, and wandered to the window, gazing down at the glitter of lights. The frenetic winking and blinking of a city that never slept.

He sipped his drink and thought of Rob’s snowy retreat where the lights came from the stars.

It was after ten. What was Rob doing right now? Filling out a mountain of paperwork probably. Maybe having a drink at the Marina Grill? Or maybe he’d decided to visit his friend in Klamath Falls.

Agent Darling, I think I may be in love.

Adam smiled. His smile faded. Okay, but you couldn’t just…follow your heart.

Could you?

That was not the way he’d been raised.

He knew what his father would say if he told him he was throwing away everything he’d worked for, everything he’d achieved. Being accepted into the FBI was about the only thing he’d ever done that made his father proud.

His father was a lonely old man with a wall full of commendations, a wife who cared more about breeding poodles, and two kids who were too busy trying to emulate his successes to find time to phone home between official, major holidays.

Was it “throwing it away” if you realized your priorities had changed?

He put his drink down and fished out his cell phone. It didn’t hurt to call. To say hello? Thanks again for saving my life.

The phone rang and rang. And rang.

It was too late.

Sweat broke out on Adam’s forehead. His palms were wet. Been here and done that. He pressed Redial and the phone began to ring all over again.

I know you meant it. You can’t have changed your mind already.

The phone picked up and Rob—sounding no farther away than the next room—said, “’Lo?”

It took Adam a moment to find his voice. He really had been rattled for a moment. “Did I wake you?”

There was a pause before Rob said in a very different tone of voice, “I didn’t think I’d be hearing from you again.”

That delivered another jolt to Adam’s nervous system. Had their goodbye been that final? He thought back to the airport. It had been a little awkward with the distractions of other people and luggage and timetables. “Not at all?”

“Well, I was expecting a Christmas card.” Rob’s tone was rueful. “So this is definitely a bonus.”

Adam said, “But when we spoke this morning, I said I would…let you know how things were going.”

“Yes, you did,” Rob said. He sounded kind, like he was humoring Adam.

Adam thought back to the rushed coffee and toast they’d shared that morning. It felt like five minutes. And it felt like forever.

Rob was right. This wasn’t going to work.

Adam said, “I got home about twenty minutes ago.”

“Yeah? Did you have a nice flight?”

“It was okay. I thought I was coming home. Before I walked through this door I thought I had everything I wanted. I did have everything I wanted.”

“And then you realized you’d been robbed?” Rob was joking, but his heart didn’t seem to be in it.

Adam drew a deep breath—it felt like he was going for the high dive. “When I walked through this door I realized the one thing I really want—need—isn’t here. Because you’re not here.”

Silence.

Adam swallowed noisily. “I want—”

At the same time Rob said, “I can’t—”

They both stopped. The silence was excruciating.

Adam said, “You go ahead.”

“I interrupted you. Go on.”

“Right. Well. What if I made a mistake?”

“Did you?”

Rob was not making this easy, but why should he? He had put it all out there, laid it on the line, and Adam had basically said his career needed to come first. So no more hedging, no more equivocating, no more safety net.

“Yes,” Adam said. “I think I made one hell of a mistake.”

The silence on the other end felt alive, electric. “So what are you saying, Adam?”

“I’m saying that if you meant the things you said yesterday—”

“I meant every word.”

“Then I want to give this a try. I want to make this work.”

Rob said slowly, “Okay. Well, I don’t think I’m going to be happy living in L.A. or Virginia or wherever we end up, but I don’t think I’m going to be happy without you either. So—”

“So I feel the same.” Adam rushed in because Rob shouldn’t always be the one making concessions, giving ground. “And like you said, you’ve tried city living. It wasn’t a good fit. I guess I can give the wide open spaces a shot.”

There was another of those disconcerting pauses before Rob said with almost touching uncertainty, “Are you sure, Adam?”

“The only thing I’m sure of is wherever you are is where I belong.” Adam glanced at his watch. “It’s after ten. I don’t know if I can get a flight out tonight, but—”

“Try.”

“I’m going to try.”

Rob said, “It’s about an hour from here to the airport. I’m looking for my keys now.”

“Maybe you should wait to hear if I catch the red-eye.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Rob replied. “Whenever you get here, I’ll be waiting.”

About the Author

A distinct voice in gay fiction, multi-award-winning author JOSH LANYON has been writing gay mystery, adventure and romance for over a decade. In addition to numerous short stories, novellas, and novels, Josh is the author of the critically acclaimed Adrien English series, including The Hell You Say, winner of the 2006 USABookNews awards for GLBT Fiction. Josh is an Eppie Award winner and a four-time Lambda Literary Award finalist.

Find other Josh Lanyon titles at http://www.joshlanyon.com

Follow Josh on Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads.

If you enjoyed this story, check the following titles, also by Josh Lanyon:

 

Novels

The ADRIEN ENGLISH Mysteries

Fatal Shadows

A Dangerous Thing

The Hell You Say

Death of a Pirate King

The Dark Tide

Stranger Things Have Happened

The HOLMES & MORIARITY Mysteries

Somebody Killed His Editor

All She Wrote

The Boy with the Painful Tattoo

Other novels

The ALL’S FAIR Series

Fair Game

Fair Play

This Rough Magic (A SHOT IN THE DARK Series)

The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks

Mexican Heat (with Laura Baumbach)

Strange Fortune

Come Unto These Yellow Sands

Stranger on the Shore

Novellas

The DANGEROUS GROUND Series

Dangerous Ground

Old Poison

Blood Heat

Dead Run

Kick Start

The I SPY Series

I Spy Something Bloody

I Spy Something Wicked

I Spy Something Christmas

The IN A DARK WOOD Series

In a Dark Wood

The Parting Glass

The DARK HORSE Series

The Dark Horse

The White Knight

Snowball in Hell (DOYLE & SPAIN Series)

Haunted Heart: Winter (HAUNTED HEART Series)

Mummy Dearest (XOXO FILES Series)

Other novellas

Cards on the Table

The Dark Farewell

The Darkling Thrush

The Dickens with Love

Don’t Look Back

A Ghost of a Chance

Lovers and Other Strangers

Out of the Blue

A Vintage Affair

Lone Star (in Men Under the Mistletoe)

Green Glass Beads (in Irregulars)

Blood Red Butterfly

Everything I Know

Short stories

A Limited Engagement

The French Have a Word for It

In Sunshine or In Shadow

Until We Meet Once More

Icecapade (in His for the Holidays)

Perfect Day

Heart Trouble

In Plain Sight

Wedding Favors

Wizard’s Moon

PETIT MORTS (SWEET SPOT Collection)

Other People’s Weddings

Slings and Arrows

Sort of Stranger Than Fiction

Critic’s Choice

Just Desserts

Merry Christmas, Darling (Holiday Codas)

Table of Contents

Clever and ambitious, Special Agent Adam Darling (yeah, he’s heard all the jokes before) was on the f...

WINTER KILLJune 2015

Table of ContentsPrologueChapter OneChapter TwoChapter Three

WINTER KILLJosh LanyonPrologue

Prologue

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Epilogue

About the Author

If you enjoyed this story, check the following titles, also by Josh Lanyon:NovelsThe ADRIEN ENGLISH M...