Текст книги "Adore Me "

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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“Um, no. You always said I was too young.”

She grabs my hand and turns it over.

Then a curious look crosses her face. “Very odd.”

She lets go of my hand and pulls the reading glasses she wears around her neck up to her face. Then she looks more closely, studying my hand and tracing the line. Grabbing my other hand and comparing the two, she says, “It is believed that your dominant hand shows what is and your non-dominant hand shows what could be.”

“So what do mine say?”

She runs her finger next to a line. “This is your life line. See this? How it is a chain up here at the top?”

“Yes.”

 That means things have been difficult for you early in your life. You lost your father, no?”

“Yes. When I was eight.”

“But this. This split. It is unusual to see in someone so young.”

“Why?”

“It means death.”

“Death?”

“Yes, you cheated death, somehow. Have you had a brush with death recently?”

“She just about drowned,” Peyton says, but Damian is looking at me with huge eyes and thinking the same thing I am. That if Vincent had actually kidnapped me, I’d be dead.

“Maybe it means I’m going to die soon,” I say softly, knowing it could happen.

“No, it is in the past.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“Uh, okay.”

“But see how this strong thin line starts after the break?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a split or changed life. It often means the death of a spouse. A divorce. Something in your life has changed. This feels almost like a rebirth.”

I think about my changed name. My changed life. I know I’m not supposed to believe in this stuff, but still.

“And after that?”

“This line is extremely chained at the beginning, so you’ll have a difficult struggle during this rebirth, but then it emerges as a strong long line.”

“What does that mean?”

“You will have a long, happy life once you get through it.”

I put my head down, pretending to be inspecting my palm, but trying to hide my reaction.

Inga has no idea the overwhelming feeling of hope she’s just given me.

“Do you want me to do the rest?”

“Yes, please,” I mutter out.

“This is your heart line,” she says, drawing her finger across it. “It’s long, meaning you will be content in love. And this line is your head line. There are Xs in the middle. Here. That means you’ll soon make a momentous decision. One that will affect the course of your life.”

“Okay,” I nod, wondering if she’s referring to the decision I’ve already made. Not going back to Eastbrooke and starting to wage war on Vincent.

“See how these lines are connected at the top?”

“Yes.”

“They mean you developed your aspirations early on in your life.” She looks up at me. “Based on all the plays you and Damian have done here in the past, I’m assuming that means you belong in the entertainment industry.”

“Uh, that’s interesting.” I don’t want to talk about that, so I try to get her to move on quickly. “What else do you see?”

“Based on the shape and length of your palm and fingers, I’d say you’re very perceptive, sympathetic, and quite creative.”

I smile. I love being those things.

“On the downside,” she says, “you can be moody, emotional, and inhibited.”

Damian and Aiden both start laughing. Damian says, “Emotional is right. I never knew a person who could have so many emotions at once.”

Inga chastises Damian. “That’s because she’s perceptive, Damian. They go hand in hand.”

I give Damian a smug smile but then squint my eyes at Aiden. “Why were you laughing?”

“Because you are the least inhibited person I know.”

Inga also gives him the eye then says, “Inhibited can have many meanings, young man. Possibly she is emotionally inhibited, as I would suspect is the case based on what I see.”

“Uh, oh. I didn’t think of it that way,” Aiden replies respectfully.

“The universe is a mysterious place and there is meaning in everything,” she says confidently. She lets go of my hand to stir the caramel sauce and then returns to the island and grins at me. “Now for the fun part.”

“What’s the fun part?”

“How many children you will have, of course. You know that your mother’s hand was very clear on that. She didn’t believe me when I told her she would have five more children after you.”

“Five?”

“Six total. One, which is you, then a large space, which meant the age gap between you and her second child would be large, then five lines close together.”

“I’d love to have another sister,” I say happily. But then reality hits, and I want to cry at the thought of not being there.

Just another reason to get my life back as fast as I can.

“So how many kids will Keatyn have?” Aiden asks with a sparkle in his eye.

“Hmmm. You will have four children very close together. See how these lines touch at the bottom?”

“Yeah,” Aiden says, studying my faint lines very intently.

“Twins.”

“That’s really cool,” Aiden says. Then, turning to Peyton, “I always wished we had a bigger family.”

“Not me,” Peyton says. “I only want one kid. And I want to spoil her rotten.”

“Rotten, is not good, Miss Peyton. Let me see your hand.”

Peyton hold her palm up.

Inga shakes her head. “You should start mentally preparing. You are destined to have three boys.”

We all laugh as Inga stops the entertainment and pulls our waffles out of the oven.

Obsession with fairy tales.

11am

After chowing down breakfast, we head back to the beach. We all play around on our surfboards and Peyton manages to get up on hers. She and Damian are constantly flirting and looking for any excuse to touch each other.

Aiden says to Damian, “I noticed you have a wakeboard in the shed.”

“Yeah,” Damian replies. “We can get the wave runner out and I’ll pull you around.”

“That’d be awesome!”

“I think that’s my cue to put my board away and spend some time tanning,” I announce.

“That’s what I want to do too,” Peyton says. “I’m really wet.”

I see Damian lick his lips. He so just thought something naughty. He grabs her around the waist and pulls her in for a kiss. “I’ll miss you,” he says in a lovesick way.

Oh, he’s got it bad.

Peyton giggles uncontrollably. In fact, she’s still giggling when we lie on two of the cushioned chaises that line a small portion of the beach.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you giggle so much.”

She giggles again. “I’m, like, giddy and having so much fun. Damian is sweet.” She stops and studies me. “Is he sweet? Please say he’s sweet.”

“Yeah, he’s super sweet.”

“It's silly isn't it? He’s practically a rock star. Travels all over. I’m still in school. He’s younger than me. And probably into groupies.”

“He looks really good in a suit,” I say with a smirk.

“He has pretty much everything on my list and the things he doesn't have I don't care about anymore. I'm falling way too fast. Hell, who am I kidding? I’m not falling, I’ve fallen. I need to stop it. Stuff like this only happens in the movies. But he’s so hot. But in a different way. Like his face is beautiful but it’s more classic. Have you ever noticed how perfectly proportioned it is?”

“Uh, I don’t think so.”

“He’s just as hot as Cam, only I don’t think he realizes how hot he is. Like Cam works it. Uses his looks.”

“Damian uses his words,” I say softly. “His music. His voice, like when he whispers or sings you to sleep, it’s completely dreamy.”

“Great. So everyone that he whispers to falls in love with him?”

“I think anyone that hears him sing falls a little in love with him. With both his voice and his passion. He’s also really mature. He never acted like a kid even when we were kids. He’s always been, like, an old soul or something. He doesn’t make the kind of mistakes I always seem to make.”

“So he is perfect.” She sighs sadly. “And he’d probably hate me if he knew all the mistakes I’ve made.”

I know that I should tell her she’s right. I know I should stop this relationship before it catches flight, but I can’t do it. I can’t crush this. I mean, Damian is the one who suggested Eastbrooke that night. Maybe fate sent me there for him. So that he could meet his dream girl. And if I’m not going back anyway . . .

“Peyton, what was your plan when you met Mr. Dreamy?”

“What do you mean?”

“What was your plan? After your eyes met and you determined he was the one, then what?”

She rolls her eyes. “We lived happily ever after, of course.”

“What else?”

“You mean in between that? I guess I always imagined being courted in that old fashioned way. Wooed. Flowers. Romantic dates. Wondering when I’d get that next kiss.”

“Did you ever think you’d sit around trying to come up with excuses why you shouldn't be with him?”

“Of course not.” She smirks. “Oh, I see what you're doing there. You're right. I should enjoy it. Speaking of that, I’m gonna run in the house real quick. And you should watch my brother. I think he’s showing off for you.”

I glance out at the ocean and see Aiden doing a flip on the wakeboard.

He tries another one, crashes, then gets pulled back up. He jumps the waves, getting a ton of air, and doing tricks. Turning around backwards, grabbing his board as he jumps, kicking his board up behind his butt, and doing more flips.

After showing off for a long time, he strides out of the water, plops his wet, glistening body on top of me, and gives me a steamy kiss.

“What's that's for?”

“I want you to know how I feel. And right now, I feel exhilarated.”

“Showing off exhilarates you?”

He grins. “Jumping the wakes and getting all that air is kinda a rush.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?”

“Speak French.”

“Besides that?”

“I can’t read your mind. You need to start telling me what you’re thinking. Even if you think I can’t handle it.”

“I think you could handle anything,” I say dreamily.

Although the feel of his hard, wet body on top of mine makes me want to pretend to be an evil queen and banish him to my turret room.

Forever.

“So tell me what you’re thinking right now,” he says, killing my daydream of him tied to the bed.

“I don’t think you want to know what I’m thinking.”

“But I do.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you. What I’m thinking is that I hate you.”

He kisses my neck, his mouth feeling cool from the ocean. “I’m lying on top of you, practically attacking you, and that’s what you’re thinking?”

“Yeah. Do you know how many freaking times it took me before I could ride into shore? I don’t think I ever would’ve gotten it right if B hadn’t come out and helped me,” I stupidly blurt out.

“Who’s B?”

“Oh. Um, he’s the Keats guy. My stepdad gave me my first board, a few pointers, and then told me the best way to learn was just go out and do it. He was wrong, by the way. It’s much easier to learn what to do on shore first. Anyway, that’s how B became my first big crush.”

“And you’re first big love.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you still love him?”

“Sometimes I think I do.”

“And other times?” he says, his eyes holding mine.

“I think I’m falling for someone else,” I say breathlessly.

Ohmigawd! I can’t believe I just said that.

Why did I say that?

Why would I do that to him?

Give him hope just to crush him in a few days.

God, I suck.

“So is there anything you've ever wanted do that you haven't been able to do?” I ask, steering the conversation back to his athletic abilities.

He rolls over, positioning himself next to me, and looks at me with fiery eyes.

“There are a lot of things I want to do that I haven’t done yet.”

“Like what?” I reply, praying it’s something like skydiving or mountain climbing.

“I’ve been dreaming of slowly undressing you.”

I stop breathing for a second as my heart jumps into my throat. “Is that something you’d like to do soon?”

He rolls me to face him, while gliding his hand downward over my hip and thigh. Then he parts my legs with his knee, putting it in the spot he does when we dance, intertwining our bodies. Then he grabs my ass and guides it even closer, my crotch now firmly pushing on his thigh.

“Yes, very soon. And I want to be just like this,” he says, placing his mouth on my neck. “Only naked.”

I grab the hair at the back of his head and push his face toward me so I can kiss him.

When his tongue takes possession of my mouth, I groan, my body purposefully pressing into his.

Damian yells from the water, “Dude, it’s my turn on the wakeboard. Come drive for me.”

Aiden ignores him, choosing instead to slide his tongue across my lips.

Then he says, “I suppose I better go.”

I’m too breathless from the kiss to even reply. I just sort of nod.

God, he is hot.

And I don’t just mean the way he looks.

It’s that strong, almost alpha male, possessiveness that I feel when he’s determined. An electrical charge backed by godly powers.

Like he’s a human version of Poseidon’s triton.

Aiden gets up and yells at Damian. “I’m gonna grab some water. I’ll be right back.”

“Grab me one too,” Damian says.

As Aiden runs up to the pool bar, Damian pulls the wave runner up into the sand, hops off it, and then plops down next to me.

“Jeez, when I said you should have some fun, I didn't mean you should accost the poor boy on the beach.”

“Jealous?”

“Totally. Peyton has the best ass. I want to own it. Explore it's surrounding areas.”

I laugh. “You need to stay out of that part of town.” He laughs, although I’m pretty sure he’s completely serious, so I say, “Damian, if you really like her, shouldn't you want to take it slow?”

“I am taking it slow because what I really want to do is wave one of your magic wands, make you disappear, and throw her across a chaise and fuck her until she can’t move.”

“Damian!”

“Come on, don't pretend like you don't want Aiden to do that to you. You two have so much chemistry if you don't do it pretty soon you may combust and kill us all.”

That makes me laugh. “Maybe, but if she's really your future wife, you should wait a little. I mean, what would you tell your kids?”

“I’d tell them Mom’s ass looked so good in her bikini I couldn't help myself. My sons will understand.”

“And your daughters?”

“We’re not having daughters if Inga’s palm reading isn’t total bullshit. But if we did, I’d tell them the love at first sight story. Perpetuate the future generation’s obsession with fairy tales.” He grins at me. “Maybe I’d even tell them she was a mermaid.”

I smack him. “Very funny.”

“Do you think your mom and Tommy waited?”

“Ha. No. I’m pretty sure they did it on their first date. But, then, if a guy as hot as Tommy took me and my daughter on a private jet to a Russian ballet, I wouldn’t have waited either.”

“You and Aiden remind me of them.”

“What did you mean?”

“When you aren’t obsessing about your lack of a future and let yourself have fun, you just glow. Hell, you both glow.”

“Do you like him?”

“Yeah, Keats, I like him. But just as a forewarning, don’t plan on us hanging out tonight. I’m taking Peyton on our first date.”

“Where are you going?”

“We’re gonna take the jeep, drive up the mountain, and look for shooting stars.”

“In the words of your father, So you’re taking her parking?”

He laughs out loud. “Oh my gosh. I about died when he said that to us in front of everyone. I’m sure I looked completely guilty.”

“We both did. The funny thing is that never once crossed my mind.”

“That’s because you were hell bent on acting out some script you were writing. Where they laid on top of a mountain, held hands, and made wishes on shooting stars.”

“That seems like a long time ago.”

“Things were just simpler then.”

“Yeah, they were,” I say quietly, biting my lower lip.

“No. No. No. Don’t start with the pout.”

Aiden comes back, tosses Damian a bottle of water, and says to me, “Why are you pouting?”

“Because I’m taking your sister out tonight. She’s jealous.”

“Jealous?” Aiden says, looking a little confused.

“She loves looking at the stars.”

“I’m sure we can find some stars of our own,” Aiden says, kissing my cheek before running back out into the water with Damian.

Peyton comes wandering back out to our chaises with Sven in tow. She’s carrying a laptop and Sven has two of his wickedly strong hurricane drinks on a tray. He sets them on a side table next to us and then heads back into the house.

“These drinks are really strong,” I tell her.

“Perfect. I need to relax. I can’t relax around him. It’s like I’m strung out, waiting for the next hit. The next kiss.”

“If you break into song about how his love is your drug, I may have to smack you.”

She laughs, sipping and watching Damian on the wakeboard. “Wow, he’s good on that thing. Almost as good as Aiden. I wouldn’t think a guy that plays guitar would be so athletic.”

“Damian is like Aiden. There isn’t anything he can’t do if he puts his mind to it.” I laugh. “It pissed me off when we were younger. I was always trying to keep up with him. So what’s the computer for?”

“Tell me that you have internet here and that you won’t laugh at what I’m about to do.”

“We have internet. The password is crabbypatties. And I’ll try not to laugh.”

She types on the laptop. “I’m about to match our horoscopes, so I need to know his birthday.”

I laugh, not because I think it’s funny but because I did the exact same thing when I was crushing on B. Horoscope matches. Magic Eight ball questions. Fortune cookies. Numerology. Anything to give me hope that we might be together someday.

“You’re laughing,” she says, scrunching up her nose at me.

“Only because I’ve done the same thing when obsessed with a boy.”

“Okay,” she says clicking away. “I’m a Virgo and he’s a, what?”

“An Aquarius. Smart. Creative. A little bit temperamental.”

“Hmm,” she says. “This says that when Virgo and Aquarius team up they can either bring out the best or worst of each other. It seems I have a rigid and theoretical approach to life.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah, I’m big on theory. And list making. And I need a certain order in my life to function.”

I watch Damian out on the wakeboard, cutting as hard as he can across the wake and then racing up the side of the wave runner, trying to get ahead of Aiden. He’s going balls out. Not once thinking about anything other than the rush. “Damian isn’t that way at all. He’s the anti-list maker.”

“This says that Aquarians are poetic.” She pauses. “I guess that would fit since songs are basically poetry. Oh, here. It says that we can thrive on our differences and grow together as we learn about each other. That’s romantic, right?”

“Yes, it’s romantic. What else does it say?”

“It says he’s passionate, modern, hates routine, and seeks spiritual enlightenment, but that he can be opinionated and stubborn.”

“Wow. That’s pretty much on target, except it makes it sound like he’s kind of a slacker. And he’s not. He’s highly motivated.”

“Oh, my gosh. Listen to the end. The most positive aspect of their union is that their combined ambition can drive them to do miraculous things together. Their relationship is enlightening and full of pleasure.”

“I think the pleasure is referring to the mental kind,” I say as I watch Peyton lick her lips.

“He’s got amazing arms, don’t you think?” she asks dreamily.

I look at his biceps flexing to hold the rope. “Yeah, he’s got great arms. All that guitar playing, I suppose. And he loves to golf.”

“Really?” she says, her eyes getting big. “Me too. Well, I like to drive the beer cart.” She stops staring dreamily at him and says, “Okay, let’s match you and Aiden.”

“Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t even know his sign.”

“Luckily, I do. Did you know on his birthday he’ll be 18? And that I’m already 19?”

“No, I didn’t know that.”

“We don’t really tell people.”

“Why? Were you held back?”

“In a way. We missed a year of school when my mom got cancer. It was the worst year of my life for lots of reasons. I was scared she’d die. Pissed I had to leave my friends and move to California. Although the worst part was watching her lose her hair. She had the most beautiful hair. Anyway, we’re both a year behind and part of what made me put Go to boarding school on my bucket list. I couldn’t handle it like Aiden could.”

I look at Aiden driving the wave runner, laughing, and having a great time. He now appears to be on a mission to make Damian crash. He’s driving in tight circles and trying to whip him around like you would to get someone off an innertube.

“He didn’t tell me.”

“I know. He doesn’t like to talk about it either. Alright, so what’s your sign?”

“I’m a Leo.”

“L-e-o,” she says as she types. “And he’s a Sag-it-tar-ius.”

“He is?” I say in shock. I seriously never would have guessed that. And I know every single Sagittarius quality by heart, because I’ve studied B’s horoscope more than I have my own.

“Oh, wow. Listen to this! When you get together the result is usually fireworks. You are both dynamic and like to enjoy life to the fullest. As a couple, you are lots of fun to be around. And you encourage each other. And even though the Sagittarius’ philosophical ways can compete with Leo’s love of all things material and bigger than life, they can still get along. They admire and respect each other and together they radiate energy.”

“That’s okay, you don’t have to keep reading,” I say. “I get it. We’re a good match.”

“But there’s so much more,” she says excitedly. “It says the Sagittarius’ sign is an archer, meaning he goes slowly and likes to take his time surveying his target. Oh, and he’s a flirt. It says you might be bothered by that though because you like to be admired. It also says it will be a relationship full of passion and heat. So you’re a good match horoscopically.”

“Is that a word?”

“Ha. I have no idea. But you know what I mean. It also says here that Leo’s sometimes pout to get their way. Do you do that?”

“Of course not,” I say, shaking my head.

“She’s lying,” Damian says, suddenly standing in front of me. “What are you two doing?”

“Nothing!” Peyton says, her eyes big as she slams the laptop shut. “Just girl talk.”

“Did you girls realize it’s 2:30 already and almost time for Thanksgiving dinner?”

“Uh, no,” Peyton says. “What time is dinner?”

“It’s at three. And we can’t be late.”

“Oh, I better go get ready. What are you wearing, Keatyn?”

I grab her arm. “Come with me. I have the perfect dress for you to wear.”

“Meet us in the great room, boys,” I say with a wave to Damian and Aiden.

I pretend to be just taking her up to get a dress, but internally I am freaking out.

I assumed because B and I were so perfectly matched it meant he was my destiny. I mean, we fell in love at first sight, and we were perfectly cosmically matched. We were made for each other.

But so is Aiden?

I drag Peyton up to my room trying to focus on clothing.

I take her into my closet and pull out the gorgeous red slip dress I bought back when my goal was to seduce Aiden. “Here, wear this.”

I hand her a strapless bra and the dress.

When she puts it on, she goes, “Wow. Just the way this dress glides over my skin feels sexy.”

“You look amazing, but the bra looks bad. You may have to take it off.”

“I can’t go braless.”

“Just try it.” She undoes the bra and pulls it out from underneath the dress. “Now, look.”

“I feel so sexy. Like, I’ve never really wanted to be sexy before. More like I just wanted to look hot, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Did you bring some strappy sandals?”

“I have a pair of silver heels.”

“Perfect, but just carry them. Set them on the floor next to you. You’ll totally look casual but, yet, amazing.”

“Okay, I’m going to go put on a little makeup. I’ll meet you in the great room.”

She stops, gets tears in her eyes, and looks at me. Then she rushes back to me and gives me a tight hug. “Thank you for bringing me here and for the dress. I’ve never been so happy in my life.”

“Just have fun tonight. He’s taking you somewhere special.”

“That’s what he said, but he won’t tell me where. Seriously, I feel like I’ve walked into a fairytale. Hell, I’m even getting dressed in a flipping turret.”

“Go finish getting ready, so you’ll look perfect,” I say, escorting her to the door.

Once I close it, I sit on my bed and stare at the computer she left behind.

Yes. I’m a glutton for punishment.

But I can’t stop myself.

I open it and type in our match on a different website hoping to get a different result.

And I do.

But this one is worse.

As a lover, the Sagittarius man likes to explore his lover’s mind, body, and soul. 

I shut the computer and focus on getting ready.

I quickly shower off then throw on a soft crepe halter dress with an ombre wash that variegates from a pale pink at the neck to a deep orange at the hem. I pair it with white studded double strapped platform wedges.

My mind suddenly flashes to Aiden slowly taking this dress off me.

I close my eyes and indulge my mind for a few seconds before focusing on looking amazing.

I braided my hair while it was wet and let it dry in the sun, so I unbraid it, gently run my fingers through the soft waves and then add some balm to make it shine.

I stand back and study myself in the mirror. My face is tan and glowing, so I decide to skip foundation and blush and just add some sparkly pink eye shadow, a thin swoop of black liner, a bunch of mascara, and a peachy lipgloss.

I check the time and, seeing that I have a few minutes to spare, decide to check my phone.

There are texts from all of the Johnson boys, Maggie & Logan, Annie, and Katie, all wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. But it’s Dallas’ text that cracks me up.

Dallas:  Would it be in bad taste if I offered to share my wishbone with the governor’s hot 16-year-old daughter?

Me:  You can always make me laugh. I love that about you. Happy Thanksgiving. Let me know if she decides to, uh, make a wish.

It’s noon in Vancouver, so I decide to call my family. I remember last Thanksgiving. The girls running around in little pilgrim headbands. Gracie wanting Tommy to buy her a pet turkey.

The phone is answered with, “Bonjour.”

“Well, bonjour to you. Is this Avery?”

“Kiki?!”

“Hi, sweetie. I just called to tell you happy Thanksgiving. Are you going to eat lots of turkey and stuffing today?”

She lets out a big sigh. “We were supposed to.”

“What happened?”

“Bad Kiki jumped up on the kitchen island and ate the turkey while we were setting the table.”

“Oh, no! I bet Daddy was mad.”

“He said merde. That’s a bad word.”

“Yes, it is. Why are you speaking French today?”

“I’m practicing. We’re moving to France!”

I let out a huge sigh of relief, knowing that Mom would never tell the girls unless it was a sure thing.

“That’s amazing! You’ll love it there.”

“Mommy says we’ll get to go to the store, and to the beach, and to the park there! We don’t get to here.”

“That will be so much fun. Can I talk to your sisters?”

“Sure! I’ll go get them.”

I hear her running through the house, her little bare feet padding across the hardwood floors. I swear, this time next year, I’ll be with them. No matter what.

I hear a chorus of, “Kiki!!” and “Happy Turkey Day, Kiki!”

Then, “Gracie, don’t grab the phone out of my hands! It’s rude!”

Then Gracie’s sweet little voice, “I miss my Good Kiki.”

“I miss you too, Gracie. I heard the puppy was naughty and ate your turkey.”

Gracie laughs. “Daddy was chasing after Bad Kiki and she had bones in her mouth. I laugh and laugh at Daddy and Kiki.”

“It bet it was funny. How’s Mommy?”

“She’s sick.”

“Sick?”

“Yes, she in bed wiff the flu.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“She sleeping. Daddy say, Girls, be quiet. But Daddy yelled at Kiki.”

“Where’s Kiki now?”

“Under Gracie’s bed. She know it safe cuz Gracie love her Bad Kiki. Daddy say Kiki might not go to France and Gracie cry and tell Daddy, Bad Kiki no go, Gracie no go.”

I can’t help but laugh. I so wish I was there, because even though the house is always filled with chaos, it’s like the perfect chaos. I hope Inga was right. I pray I live a long life and have a houseful of my own kids someday.

“Keatyn?” a deep voice asks.

“Hey, Tommy. Happy Thanksgiving. The girls said they’re moving to France.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too, baby. Tell me you’re with some friends and not all alone.”

“I’m with some friends, Tommy.”

He lets out a sigh. “Good. One less thing to worry about.”

“Is Mom okay?”

“Oh, yeah, just the flu. Everyone on set has been sick.”

“Okay, good. I heard the dog ate the turkey.”

“Damn dog. She’s lucky she’s so cute and Gracie loves her so much.”

“I gotta go eat dinner, but tell Mom I love and miss her. And tell her next year things will be different.”

“I hope you’re right,” he says, and then we say goodbye.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s like I have pre-traumatic death syndrome or something. Every time I think of my future, I picture me dead.

Which makes me feel guilty, because I know Cooper’s Thanksgiving has to be rougher than mine.

Me: I was thinking of you today. I know it's gotta be tough. 

Cooper:  I was thinking of you today too. 

Me:  Don’t worry about me.

Cooper:  Garrett says you’re not going back to school.

Me:  I was going to discuss my plan with you after the holiday.

Cooper:  Tell me now. 

Me:  Um, it’s still in the planning stages, that’s why I want to talk to you. 

Cooper:  Yet it sounds like you’ve made up your mind.

Me:  I have about school. I just haven’t decided for sure where I’m going to live. 

Cooper:  Don’t take off on your own.

Me:  I wasn’t planning to. I was going to ask you to come with me.

Cooper:  See, you’re smarter than Garrett thinks. 

Me:  He thinks I’m going to do something stupid.

Cooper:  Are you?

Me:  I considered walking into Vincent’s office and telling him I want to audition for his movie. 

Cooper:  Tell me you scrapped that plan.

Me:  Not quite yet. I wanted to get your thoughts. He’s like a bully, Cooper. Maybe I just need to stand up to him.

Cooper:  There is a big difference between a bully and a sociopath. Do some research. 

Me:  Does that mean if I don’t go back to school, you’ll still help me?

Cooper:  Of course.

Me:  That makes me cry, Cooper. Thank you. I just want to be proactive instead of sitting around waiting for him to find me.

Cooper:  Go eat some turkey. I heard your dinner smells amazing. 

Me:  Have you been keeping tabs on me?

Cooper:  Absolutely. 

Love song about her lips.

3:15pm

Damian and I are the first ones in the great room.

“This is crazy,” Damian says, pacing in front of me, holding a glass of wine. “I'm insanely crazy about her. I'm currently writing the world’s longest love song about her lips. She doesn’t have a boyfriend or anything does she?”

“I don't think she'd be kissing you if she did.”