Текст книги "Kiss Me"

Автор книги: Jillian Dodd

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

So, basically, if you ask me, this goddess should not be the goddess of love!

She is obviously the goddess of hooking up and then turning against you. She’s mean!

Shouldn’t the goddess of love be all lovey and beautiful and sweet?

So the verdict: if this is half of what I’m up against, I am definitely screwed.

And speaking of screwed. Before my brain can stop them, my fingers have typed Cush’s name into Facebook and pulled up his profile. He has a new profile picture. One of him and his dad. He’s smiling so big I can see his dimples. His hair is buzzed again, but his cheeks look freshly shaven. I reach out and touch his face on the screen.

I feel like I’m living two separate lives again.

I forgave Cush for the things he said to me after he got drugged. Will he be able to forgive me for this?

I click the message button and start typing.

I tell him about the boots. About what really happened at the party. About where I am. About Brooklyn. About my family. About how Vincent followed him to the pizza party. I ask him what they were celebrating. And, most importantly, I ask him to forgive me.

My finger hovers over the send button.

I close my eyes.

Images, voices, and feelings all run through my mind.

I open my eyes and delete the message.

Wednesday, September 7th

We talk.

Ceramics

Bryce, Jake, and I are sitting in class playing with clay. We are contemplating what we are going to create out of this single piece of clay. There’s a metaphor, or a life meaning thing, in that statement, possibly about me molding my life, I think, but I am too busy gossiping with Bryce and Jake to care.

“So Jakey, heard it’s all Facebook official. You and Whitney are going out.”

“Uh, yeah, I guess so.”

“You don’t seem that thrilled.”

“She’s not exactly what I expected.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. I thought she was perfect, but she’s kinda clingy. And, I swear, about the only time she kisses me is in front of Dawson. It pisses me off. Plus, she told me that if I wanted things to progress then we needed to be going out.”

“Progress, how?”

“Sex.”

Bryce says, “I’d tap that. She’s hot.”

“Yeah, she is. We’ll see. It better progress pretty fucking quickly is all I’m saying. There’s plenty of doable girls here.”

“And now that everyone knows you’re, like, practically the next King, lots of girls want to be doable.”

“I can’t believe she told everyone that. It’s kinda embarrassing.”

“Dude, if it gets you laid, who cares?” Bryce asks.

I punch Jake’s arm gently. “I would have done this earlier, had I known.”

I stand in front of him and do a little curtsey.

Bryce comes over by me and kneels. He’s cracking up the entire time.

“Shut up. It’s stupid really. I’m like one hundred and thirtieth in line or something. A whole lot of people would have to die for that to ever happen.”

Bryce says, “Just think, England gets nuked, and you’d have to go back and rule the devastation.”

Yeah,” I giggle, “and you could take Whitney to be your queen. How cool would that be?”

Jake laughs. “You know how she always brags about how her ancestors came over on the bloody Mayflower?”

“No,” I say, and Bryce goes, “Yeah, all the time.” We look at each other and laugh.

Jake looks at me. “You know the kind of people that came over on the Mayflower, right?”

“Uh, explorers?”

“No, hoodlums, criminals, people that couldn’t make it in England. England was glad to be rid of them. No way they’d want her back. Someday, I’m gonna tell her that. But not until after I get some.”

“That’d make Dawson laugh his ass off,” I tell him.

Bryce says, “Speaking of Dawson, what’s up with you two?”

“I don’t know. We’re hanging out, having fun. It’s new. Chill. I like him.”

“Are you worried they’ll get back together and dump us?” Jake asks.

“Well, we aren’t going out. He says he doesn’t like her anymore, and I think he had a lot of rebound girls this summer, but does that mean he’s ready for a relationship with me or anyone else? I really don’t know.”

Bryce smirks at me. “It looks like your relationship is doing just fine.”

“Stop insinuating shit. I hate when people do that. If you wanna know something or say something, just say it.”

“You seem pretty tight, like, having-sex tight.”

Jake shakes his head and frowns. “Wait. So, I’m going out with Whitney, can’t hang with other girls, getting zero, and you aren’t going out with Dawes, he can do what he wants, and he’s getting it? Dude, that’s jacked up.”

“I never said he’s getting it, but, yeah, pretty much. He asked me if we should be going out, but I said no. I mean, I don’t wanna rush things. I want to be sure he’s over her, and even though he says he is, I’m still not sure. Plus, I’m still kind of getting over someone myself.”

“Heard what your ex did to you. That was pretty low,” Jake says sweetly.

“Oh my gosh! How do you hear this stuff?”

“Football practice. We stand in line a lot. We talk.”

“Dawson told me,” Bryce says.

Jake studies me closely. “Riley told me. Does he have a crush on you? Because someone said something about you and he came unglued.”

“What happened?”

“Well, someone made a remark about you and Dawson and it, um, well, it was sorta derogatory toward you. Riley slammed him up against the locker and told him to shut the fuck up.”

“What?! When was this?”

“Yesterday after practice.”

“Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Wait. Who said something about me and Dawson?”

“Uh.”

“Tell me!”

“Um, it might have been Peyton’s bro.”

“Aiden?!”

“Yeah.”

“What did he say?!”

“That Dawson was just using you. Well, actually, he used a different word than using. Sorry.”

“I told Dawson last week that his reputation sucked. It needed a makeover. Does my image need a makeover? Do you guys think I’m slutty? Do people think that?”

Bryce says, “Well, I don’t. I think you’re fun. You have kissed three guys already, but you just kissed them, right? That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Yeah, except for Dawson. We did more than kiss this weekend. And I haven’t kissed anyone since.”

“Three whole days, huh?”

“Shut up.”

“You’re cute and you’re cool. Guys like hanging out with girls that aren’t all high maintenance. Like, at the cave, you just relax. You don’t sit there talking the whole time about how we could get in trouble, about your hair, about whatever it is that most girls babble on about. And this weekend, I heard you got up in the morning, rolled out of bed, and surfed. No hour of getting ready, no insecurities about how you look in a bikini, no complaining that it’s too hot or too cold, or that the guys were hitting on girls.”

“No way I’d complain about that! That was one of the most entertaining parts of the weekend. Watching Tyrese in action. He’s got that smooth, Baby you sexy, thing. Then Riley. He just throws it out there. You’re hot. Let’s hook up. Dallas is like the boy you think is all sweet and innocent and adorable and, boom, next thing you know he’s kissing you. And Ace. He just lets his body do the talking. Walks around all buff and girls are like, Hey. And then when he can’t talk to them about something intellectual, he dismisses them as boring.

“Wow, you pegged them all. That’s funny. How am I?”

“Bryce, I really haven’t seen you in action. And Jake, you seem like a chameleon. You’re whatever you think the girl wants.”

“Oh, dude. That is you. You change with every girl you date.”

“Is that good or bad?” Jake asks.

“I’d rather get to know the real you because I think you’re kinda naughty and have a devious little mind. You size people up quick, figure out what they want, and fulfill their needs in order to get what you want from them. You’re the used car salesman of dating.”

“Dude, that is so you,” Bryce bursts out laughing. The teacher yells at him, so we go back to staring at our clay.

Jake whispers, “Tomorrow’s topic of discussion is how long a girl will make you wait and why? Do some research on that, Monroe.”

You’re my hero.

Lunch

I grab my tray and go sit with Riley and Dallas. They’re already sitting at their usual table.

“Riley!”

“What-ee?”

“You shoved Aiden up against the locker yesterday?”

Riley gets kinda shy-looking. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? You want to put a nail in my and Aiden’s love coffin, him saying shit about me would do it.”

He rolls his eyes. “I just . . . it’s not a big deal. I just kinda reacted.”

I look him in the eyes. “Riley, it’s a big deal to me. You stood up for me. It’s so sweet.”

“See, I knew you’d go the whole all It’s so sweet. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“That and he didn’t wanna hurt your feelings,” Dallas tells me.

I give him my aw-that’s-so-sweet eyes. Like, the eyes you use when you see a newborn, or a floppy-eared puppy, or the boy who just slammed a god into a locker for you. You feel a little love.

“You’re my hero.”

“I told you. I feel this strange need to protect you. And for some reason, I think you’re going to need a lot of protecting.” He rolls his eyes at me.

“Speaking of protecting. I was on this weird kid’s website last night. I was reading that sometimes people don’t know they are a god until they meet their—shit, what was that word? Satyr? Is that even a word? Anyway the S guy is like a god guide. He helps keep you safe until you learn to use your powers properly. Only you are like a satyr in reverse. You’re protecting me from a god.

“You’re a freak,” Riley says. “And you’re taking this whole God of all Hotties thing way too far.”

“Did I tell you I figured out his mother must have been the goddess, Aphrodite? And I need to take Greek Mythology because that woman was interesting. She’s the goddess of love, but she, like, tricked this dude into thinking she was just a pretty maiden, and he knew she was way too hot for that, but she seduced him and got herself pregnant, then was a total bitch to him. She is also a slut. And she got out of god jail by promising some other god her body.”

Parker chimes in. “I wanna take that class too. Damn.”

But then, for some reason, they start talking about a certain male body part. I try really hard to be cool and unembarrassed. But after hearing them go on and on, I’m pretty sure each one of these boys thinks his own penis is a demigod.

As we’re throwing away what’s left of lunch, Riley says, “If you like my brother, why are you looking up god stuff on the internet?”

“He’s using his powers against me. I was looking for ways to ward him off. Like garlic to scare off a vampire, that kind of thing.”

“You’re so weird.”

 Dawson walks up and slaps Riley on the back. Then he turns to me and says, “Keatie.” And gives me his sexy, you-can’t-resist-me eyes. Plus the way he says Keatie. It’s so cute.

“How was your lunch?”

“Sucked without you. What were you talking about over here?”

“Did you know your brother slammed Aiden up against a locker yesterday for talking shit about us?”

“Everyone knows that.”

“I didn’t.”

“I was going to tell you. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Or make you regret it.”

“People suspect. They don’t know. Speaking of that. Do you want to again? I mean, I thought that would be, like, all you’d want.”

He kisses my nose. “I don't want us to be about just sex. I like you.”

“I like you too.”

“But trust me, I want to. I’m just trying to be good.

“Good, cuz I do too. Like soon.”

No response.

French

Dawson walks me to French and kisses me until the bell rings. I’m in a good mood until I walk in and see Aiden’s stupid face and remember what he said about me.

I turn around and say, “Heard about practice yesterday. Good to know you think so highly of me. Obviously, tutoring you is out of the question.”

He doesn’t respond.

A fake ass-kicking.

5:40pm

I call Mom.

I know she probably won’t answer, but I call anyway. At least she’ll see my missed call. I’m surprised when Tommy answers her phone.

“How’s life, baby?”

“It’s okay. How come you're not filming right now?”

He clears his throat. “Well, your mom is. She’s kissing our co-star as we speak. I can’t watch. Good news is, later in the movie, I get to kick his ass.”

“Yeah, but it’s a fake ass-kicking.”

“Well, you know, sometimes you forget a step in a choreographed fight scene, and sometimes the punches actually connect. It’s really unfortunate, but it happens.”

“You’re bad.”

He laughs.

“Hey, off the wall question, but why is your hair always long?”

“Hiding my horns, probably.” He laughs a full-on belly laugh.

“So you are a satyr.”

“Hell, no. I played Zeus. I was a god. So, what’s going on with the god and Gorgeous?”

“They’re not going anywhere with the god. He told the guys that Gorgeous is just using me. I hate him, and I will not be tutoring him. Gorgeous kinda asked me to go out with him. I told him it was too soon. That we shouldn’t have to label our relationship. Wonder where I heard that from? Speaking of that, are you and Mom ever going to get married?”

“Are you sure you didn’t say no to a relationship because you are in love with the god?”

“I can’t love a jerk, so clearly I cannot be in love with him.”

“And to answer your question, yes. I do want to marry your mother. Hopefully sometime in the next year.”

“Really? That’s so exciting. Okay, so I have to go.”

“Break a leg, baby.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Good luck with your boy issues.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Oh, shit. My bad.

7:30pm

Dawson is lying on top of me kissing me. One of the perks of being a senior is having your own room. Still don’t get your own bathroom though. His room and Jake’s connect through a shared one. Dawson has his door locked, but just about the time he has my red Cougar polo pulled up and his hand up my skirt, Jake walks in through the bathroom door, saying, “Hey Dawes.” Then, “Oh, shit. My bad.”

And it sorta breaks the mood.

Well, my mood. Dawson is still in full horndog mode.

He’s kissing my neck. Running his hands up my sides.

Finally I say, “Um, Dawes?”

And he’s like, “What, Keatie?”

“Can we just talk for a minute. Start over maybe? Sorry, that kinda embarrassed me.”

“Really? Oh. I’m sorry.”

He gets off the bed, sits in his desk chair, and pulls on his shirt.

“Okay, so shoot. Whatcha wanna talk about?”

“Tell me about your parents, your family.” Shit. Why did I say that? He’ll ask me about mine next to be polite.

“Boring,” he laughs. “Well, okay, so there’s me and Riles, and I told you about Camden. He’s a freshman at Columbia. Then we have a younger brother, Braxton. He’s in eighth grade and can’t wait to come here next year. Dad is a bond trader. Mom used to be a doctor, but she finally gave it up after she had Brax. We’re pretty close. We live in Manhattan, have the place in the Hamptons. That’s about it. What about you?”

I’m really impressed that even though he didn’t want to stop messing around, he did, just because I asked. He didn’t even give me a hard time about it.

And that makes me adore him.

It also makes me want him.

I smile at him, unzip his shorts, straddle him, and make him forget any questions he might have.

A little bit later, he’s lazily kissing my check. “That was amazing. You always surprise me. It’s so freaking hot. I thought we were gonna just sit here and talk. Well, until you attacked me.”

“I guess I couldn’t resist you any longer. Plus, it’s been a couple days, and you’ve been good. Like, you haven't been all sex, sex.”

“What’s wrong with sex, sex?”

“Nothing. I just don’t want it to be all about sex.”

“Yeah,” he says, running his fingers through my hair. “You smell so good.”

“You feel so good.” I kiss him, rake my fingers hard through his hair, and lean my chest into his face.

“You’re gonna make me hard again.” He laughs.

“Promises, promises,” I flirt.

And, well . . . he’s apparently good at keeping promises.

I heart math homework.

10:15pm

Jake:  Monroe. Don’t forget to do your ceramics homework :)

Katie, Maggie, Annie, and I are lying on the pale green flokati rug on the floor of Katie’s and my room. There are pillows thrown all over and we’re finishing up our homework.

Well, sort of.

Maggie is actually painting her toenails. She’s also texting both Logan and Parker, two of her exes. Katie is practicing a tricky dance combination that she can’t seem to get right. Annie is on Facebook, creeping on Ace’s profile and yelling out people’s statuses.

I just got back a few minutes ago, and I’m finishing up some math problems. Dawson was supposed to help me with them, but, well, you know.

No math got done.

Annie screeches out, “Ohmigawd! Listen to the status Dawson just posted. It says I heart math homework, then there’s a winky face. What does that mean?”

“It means we were supposed to do my math homework.”

“Supposed to?” She raises her eyebrows at me.

Katie says, “You’re doing your math homework now.”

“Yeah, that’s why he hearts it. No homework was done.”

Maggie moves over closer to me and is like, “Oh, what did you do? People are all speculating on if you guys have had sex. You would tell us if you have, right?”

“I don’t know. I think that’s kinda private.”

Annie isn’t satisfied. “So what did you do then?”

“Just messed around, you know. It was fun. We have fun.”

Maggie is like, “Must have been, but speaking of that, here’s a question.”

“Hang on. Jake just texted me again.”

“Jake? Whitney’s Jake? Why is he texting you?” Annie screeches.

“We have class together. We’re getting to be friends, I think. And he gave me some homework.”

Maggie is confused. “Homework for ceramics? Wait. What?”

Annie yells. “Oh my gosh! Jake just commented on Dawson’s status. He said Dude, your math homework is hot and then a smiley face. Oh boy, that’ll piss Whitney off.” She looks at me seriously. “You don’t want to piss Whitney off.”

Katie grins. “What does Jake mean?”

“He kinda walked in on us making out. Well, my shirt was partially unbuttoned, and my skirt was maybe slightly askew, but we were dressed. I guess, Dawson’s shirt was off, but it was when I got there. He had just showered. He smelled so good. So, anyway, Jake and Bryce want to know how a girl decides when the right time to sleep with a guy is. Like, do you have to be going out? If so, for how long? Maggie, what do you do?”

“Well, freshman year, I dated a guy all year. He wanted to, but we never did. Summer before my sophomore year, I dated Matty. We waited a month, then did it all the time. It was a really good summer. We broke up when I had to come back to school. I had a couple different boyfriends here last year. I did it with Logan and Parker. I forget how long we’d been going out. Probably a month or so. This summer, I met a guy my first day back home. We dated for a week, then did it. Then quit seeing each other like two weeks later. So I guess it just depends on my mood.” She laughs. “Or how drunk I am.”

“I went out with my boyfriend for six months before we did,” Katie tells us. “He’s the only person I’ve ever been with.”

Annie says, “And I’m waiting to do it with someone I’m really in love with.”

“Yeah, but if you’re in love with him, how long would you make him wait?”

“How long you going to make Dawson wait?” she fires back.

“No, it’s not about me. I’m supposed to get a general consensus.”

“I’m going down the hall to ask people,” Maggie says. “I’m bored with history. This sounds way more fun.” She takes off with a pencil and a notebook.

Annie says, “Dawson just replied to Jake’s comment. Isn’t it funny that they’re commenting each other. Aren’t they suitemates?”

“Yeah, that is kinda funny. What’d he say?”

“He said Effing hot. Wow.”

“Wow, what?”

“I think you’re stealing some of Whitney’s thunder. She just posted My Jakey is the best bf ever. Thanks for a great night, baby.”

“Did he comment on it?”

“Not yet.”

 “But Ace just commented on Dawson’s status. He said Let me know if you can’t handle the math homework by yourself. Oh, I don’t like that. Oh, and Dawson didn’t like that either. He said Not cool, Ace. And then Ace said Jkjk. This is exciting! Oh, wait, Jake just said Dawes looked like he was handling things just fine. Dawson replied Hell yeah. Jake said back, You’re a lucky man.”

I text Jake.

Me:  So what’d you do with Whitney that made her night so great?

Jake:  Honestly, I have no fucking idea. We got some sushi, made out a little, she rubbed her hand on the outside of my pants. What? Are we in freaking seventh grade? I’m not even commenting on her stupid status. 

Me:  I’m pretty sure she hates me.

Jake:  I’m pretty sure she does too. You were all we talked about. 

Me:  Shit. 

Jake:  Don’t worry, Monroe. Jakey loves you. 

Me:  You barely know me.

Jake:  I know enough to know you’re not a bitch. 

Me:  Truth?

Jake:  You a closet bitch? You waiting for the right time to come out?

Me:  No. But I was best friends with a girl like Whitney at my old school. I didn’t like the person I was becoming. It wasn’t me. I swore when I came here, I would do things differently. I’m hoping to make some friends who won’t stab me in the back the second I turn around.

Jake:  That’s gonna be tough to find here.

Me:  Are you telling me you’re a closet bitch??

Jake:  Very funny. Hell no. I meant girls. 

Me:  Annie, Maggie, and Katie don’t seem that way. Not all girls are that way.

Jake:  Speaking of girls. How’s the research going?

Me:  Maggie is out surveying. 

Jake:  Sweetness.

Then I text Dawson.

Me:  Love your status. Hate the comments.

Dawson:  Sorry, Keatie :( They just think we made out.

Me:  Jake saw your hand up my skirt. I’m pretty sure he knows it was more than that. Plus, you just said hell, yeah. Making out doesn’t usually get a hell, yeah.

Dawson:  Oh…

Me:  Do you want to tell people?

Dawson:  No, but it’s kinda fun to have them guessing, I never…never mind. I’ll tell them to stop.

Me:  Naw, it’s okay. Have fun, just keep them guessing. 

Dawson:  You make me feel so amazing. 

Me:  Doesn’t every guy say that after sex?

Dawson:  You don’t get it. YOU make me feel amazing. Yeah, the sex is great, but it’s because it’s with you. Go out with me.

Me:  (:  And no freaking way!!!

Dawson:  I’m hurt!

Me:  Then don’t ask a girl to go out by text. It’s tacky. Plus, then you will think it’s okay to break up with me by text, and that is not cool.

Dawson:  I’m not going to break up with you. Like ever. 

Me:  Promises, promises.

Dawson:  Made good on my promise earlier ;)

Me:  Yeah, you did. 

Dawson:  Night, Keatie.

Me:  Night :)

Me:  Hey wait, we’re taking a poll. How long do you think a girl should make a guy wait for sex? Like not us, but normally.

Dawson:  I think what we did was perfect. Seriously :)

Me:  You’re so sweet <3

Annie is still rambling on. “Ace just said, We gonna kick some ass Friday night? and then Brad said, Fuck yeah. Have you met Brad yet? He’s pretty active. Captain of the football defense, Social Committee, and on pretty much everything else.”

“I haven’t met him yet, but I think I know who you’re talking about.”

“Oh, wait, it’s gone. Oh, awhh, ohmigawd, Dawson just changed his status. It says, Keatie and then there’s a heart. That is so cute.”

Katie says, “That is really cute. You need to like that.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Well, I’m liking it.”

“Everyone is liking it,” Annie informs us. “Like eight people have already liked it.”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. Everyone. Mostly guys. Dallas just commented and said, Kiki <3, and Jake just said, Monroe <3.”

Katie says, “Okay. You seriously need to move away from the computer. You’re obsessed. Where’s Maggie?”

“I don’t know,” Annie tells her, “but I need cookies. Let’s go down to the kitchen.”

“Can you bring me back a cookie? I’m gonna be up all night if I don't get to work.”

Katie, who is standing by the door, turns back around. “That’s what they make Red Bull for, silly.”

I get about fifteen minutes of interruption-free studying—well, not really; my phone keeps buzzing with texts, but I don’t look at it—and manage to get my math problems done and start the history vocabulary before they all come bounding back into the room.

“Okay, here’s the consensus,” Maggie says. “Most girls say they have waited anywhere from one day to one year. They say if they really like the guy, they usually wait until they are going out before they do. But if they don’t like the guy and just want a hookup then, obviously, they don’t wait.”

“They’re having sex with guys they don’t like?” I ask.

“No. I mean guys they don’t deem as serious boyfriend types,” Maggie answers.

 “You guys ever watch Sex and the City?”

“I’ve seen some of them and the movies,” Annie states.

“I had a Sex and the City marathon with my friend when she, uh, broke her leg and couldn't do anything.” Actually, that’s not true. It was after Vanessa got her nose done. “Like, for four days straight we did nothing but watch the series. And on there they talk about the third date as being the sex date.”

And didn’t Tommy say something like that too?

“Yeah, but they’re grown up. I think it’s different when you date boys our age. Like, you don’t want to be just doing it with anyone. And you want them to respect you,” Katie says.

“So, basically, there are no rules. You just go with what you feel like?”

Maggie laughs. “Well, no, if we went with what we felt like, we’d all be sluts.”

We all laugh.

Annie says, “It really is hard for girls. I don’t think guys even understand. I don’t think parents understand. They tell us don’t do it; be a good girl. Our bodies tell us we should be doing it. Like, it used to be once you got your period, you were a woman. You got married and had sex. Guys want you to do it, but they don’t want you to do it too soon. And if you don’t do it soon enough, sometimes they’ll dump you. So then you think, I’ll wait until I find a guy who really loves me. But then some guy tells you he loves you, you do it, and he decides he doesn’t. Society tells us not to do it, but then we have all these sexy images of how we should look. It’s really confusing.”

“That’s true,” I say. “I think everyone has to make their own decision. Whatever your age. I think whatever is right for you is what you should do.”

Katie digests it all and says, “True.”

Maggie says, “So, I think it’s a combination of how the guy treats you, how much you like him, if he seems serious, and if he respects you.” Then she adds naughtily, “And then, when you can’t say no any longer, you give in.”

Annie says, “So, we know Katie’s only done it with her boyfriend—wait, have you and Tyrese?”

“No. I can’t with him. I mean, he’s hot and he’s probably good at it, but we’d definitely have to be going out first. And then, I’d still wait some.”

Annie turns to me, “And you’ve been with two guys, and I haven’t done it yet. Maggie, have you ever had a random hookup?”

Maggie says, “Well, yeah.”

“And?!”

“I can’t decide if I’d rather deal with a stupid boyfriend and all the love bullshit, or the shame I feel after I hookup.”

“That’s pretty deep,” I tell her. “Okay guys, I’m calling bedtime.”

I go to sleep, and my dreams are haunted by satyrs, evil love gods, and a centaur with Vincent’s face. Then I’m in a meadow, dressed in a white gown with golden trim. I walk out to the middle of the clearing and meet the man I’m getting ready to marry. He’s blurry, though, because I’m wearing a veil, but I can see from his outline he is very handsome, and in my heart I know that I love him. We have the wedding, say I do, and he kisses me through the veil.

Then he takes me out of the clearing to his dorm room for our honeymoon, and I’m sitting on a chair straddling him, like I was Dawson earlier today.

We are kissing and kissing through the veil, and he’s taking off my wedding gown. Then I’m naked except for my veil, and we’re consummating our marriage.

Finally, he lifts the veil in the middle of the consummation to kiss me. And there, staring back at me, is not the Dawson that I expect to see.

It’s Aiden, wearing a gold laurel wreath around his head.

I wake up sort of throbbing down there.

And wondering, what the hell?