Текст книги "Monster"

Oh fuck.

I knew where this was going.

From the look Shoot was giving me, so did he.

Alex was still just standing there with her dead eyes, shoulder almost touching Shooter.

“Oh yeah?” I said, raising a brow at Lex.

“I need to make sure your loyalty is where it should be.”

“Meaning with you.”

“Of course,” he said, waving a hand.

“Break...” Shooter's voice held warning.

Lex raised a brow at him. “Hit her,” he said abruptly.

Yeah.

Saw that coming.

Fuck.

Never once. Not in my life. Not in my career. Never once had I ever raised a hand to a woman. And, come whatever consequences, I wasn't planning on starting now.

“Look, you get your jollies off knocking around women, that's your business,” I said, shaking my head. “I ain't doing that shit for your entertainment.”

Lex's chin jerked and a gun cocked behind my neck.

It was the first time I had seen a genuine reaction out of Alex since I got the phone call. Her eyes snapped to mine, widening, knowing that sound before her gaze found the gun pressed against the back of my head. She looked like she was ready to bolt.

Attention off of them, Shoot's pinkie grabbed her's again, but held on, trying to anchor her in place. She looked over at him, dropping his grip, taking a step back, and making her eyes move away from me.

“Really Lex?” I asked, shaking my head, sounding almost bored. It wasn't the first time I had a gun pointed at me. It wouldn't be the last. All I could hope for was the shit holding it had a steady trigger finger.

Lex looked disappointed, then waved a hand at the other guy who immediately grabbed Alex's arm roughly enough for her to yelp, dragging her away from Shooter who looked ready to pounce until a gun pressed against the back of his head too. “Maybe that will help you make your decision,” he shrugged. When I hesitated, the gun cocked. And I knew they weren't bluffing. Shoot was useless to them. They'd killed for less than his name calling earlier.

His eyes told me he was thinking the same thing. And I saw something there that I never had before. Not strong. Not prominent. But there.

Fear.

Shit.

Alex's head twitched, catching my attention. And the second my eyes landed on her's, her chin lifted, and her eyes opened wider– a look that seemed to scream– 'do it, you have no choice'.

And I really didn't.

But I couldn't.

“On your knees,” Lex growled toward Shoot who took a breath and forced a smile.

“Don't know what way you swing, man, but my mouth is for pussy only,” Shoot said, attempting levity even in his final moment.

Lead settled in my stomach, heavy, making me feel rooted in my spot, too horrified to move. To do anything. To say anything.

Shooter got to his knees, winking at me.

God damn it.

This couldn't fuckin' be happening.

“Have any final words for your brother?” Lex asked, his voice emotionless. Like he did this every day. In a way, he did.

“Don't forget to send Pops the scotch,” he said. And he meant that. That was what he wanted to leave me with.

The man behind him took a step back, aiming.

“Just hit me!” Alex shrieked, the sound bouncing off the walls and shooting through my system like knives.

It was the first time she had spoken since she greeted Lex and everyone's eyes fell on her. The air around her seemed to be charged, sparking off with her anger. Because that was what she was– she was pissed. Her cheeks were flushed with it. Her posture stiff with it.

“Miss. Miller...” Lex started.

“Shut your fucking mouth you slimebag,” she snapped and I fought the urge to groan. That fuckin' mouth of her's. It was gonna get her in all kinds of trouble.

To Lex's credit, he didn't even flinch. I had expected blind rage. I had expected her brains all over the window behind her. Women did not, ever, speak to Lex Keith that way.

“This is my meet...”

“What part of shut your fucking mouth don't you understand?” she pretty much just... screamed, before turning her head in my direction. “Stop this. Stop all of this. Just... hit me.”

“Alex...” I started, feeling my stomach start to roll, the bile start to work it's way up my throat as I looked at her face. Her skin like cream, her bones like a bird underneath it. I raised my hand to her... I could really cause damage.

And she would never forgive me.

Not really.

The memory would always be there under the surface.

She would always know I was capable of hitting her.

“It's okay, sweetheart,” Shooter broke in, his tone soothing.

Her eyes rolled. “It's not o-fucking-kay,” she said immediately. “No one is dying because I'm a girl and you're afraid to hit me. That's friggen ridiculous. Just hit me!”

Lex's brow raised and he nodded at the man behind Shooter who uncocked the gun and put it away. “You heard the woman,” Lex said, looking very much like he was enjoying my discomfort. Though not as much as he would enjoy me putting my hands on Alex. He was probably hard just thinking about it.

“Breaker...” Alex said, her voice desperate. Desperate.

Maybe that was what did it.

Someone like her. Someone who stared at death and said 'eh whatever'. Someone as collected as that, desperate to save someone else.

And I knew.

Maybe she'd never fully trust me again after I hit her.

But she'd definitely not ever forgive me if I didn't.

I grit my teeth, steeling the contents of my stomach to stay down, and made my way to her, arm cocked back because I knew I had to hurt her or Lex would just make me do it again, but also holding back. Because my fist could just... break her.

I swallowed hard and so did she.

Then I swung.

My knuckles hitting her jaw was the single worst feeling the world had to offer. Worse than Shoot saying his final words to me. Worse than all the lives that had taken their last breaths at my hands. Worse than the beatings I took when I was too small to do anything but cry.

Nothing would ever come close to that feeling.

To seeing her head snap in the other direction as her body fell. To see her eyes shut hard in pain.

She went down hard on her side, one hand braced under her, the other going to her face.

“Bravo,” Lex said, clapping slowly.

My head jerked to his, feeling something strange building up in my system. Something I had never known before. A hot kind of anger. Not my usual cold, calculating kind. This kind felt like it replaced my blood with gasoline and someone just lit a match.

There was shuffling on the ground and out of my peripheral I saw Shooter offer his hand to Alex. She reached underneath of her. For what, I had no idea, then took his hand, letting him help her up.

“Fuckin' satisfied, Lex?” I ground out, brow raising. My fist was still smarting from the punch and it was taking everything in my power to not lunge at him and bash his face in with it.

“For now,” he said, looking down at Alex with a bright, awful glint in his eye.

I couldn't follow his line of vision. I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready for the way she was going to look at me.

“Shooter,” Lex said, nodding at him.

Shrugging, Shooter accepted his fate. He had to go back with them. He wasn't gonna bitch and moan about it. He turned to Alex, chucked her gently under the chin with his pointer finger, brushed past me, slammed his shoulder into my arm, then followed Lex's goons out of the car.

“I will be in contact,” Lex said, looking over at Alex again. This time, the sick fuck licked his lips once before moving away.

I stood staring at them leaving. Listening for their boots on the steps. The door closing. The engines firing up on the street.

“Breaker...” Alex's voice called.

“No doll,” I said, keeping my gaze pointedly away.

“Talk to me” she said.

My head hung, shaking slightly.

“Nothing will ever take this away,” I told her, knowing deep down it was true.

Her hand reached out, touching my arm.

“It's nothing. I'll forget this in a week,” she suggested.

“Alex, nothing will ever take away the memory of having a grown ass fuckin' man throwing a right hook to your jaw.”

Her body shifted in front of mine, her hands going to my face, pulling until I had no choice but to lift it.

Her jaw was red where my fist had landed. It would bruise by the morning. A constant reminder of what I had done.

“I'm fine. Jazzed up, but fine.”

“You can't be fuckin' serious right now.”

“Oh come on. You feel it too,” she said, lowering her eyes at me. “All that fear and adrenaline. It's like... napalm in the system. I can't even feel my face.”

She meant that. But in an hour, when the adrenaline gave way to rational thought...

“Alex...”

“Come on. It was a stupid little nothing punch, Breaker.”

“You ain't gonna think that was a stupid little nothing punch once you stop being all jazzed up.”

“Whatever. It's over. I could hit you to make things even,” she said, giving me a weird little smile. “But I'm pretty sure your jaw is made of granite. It would probably hurt me more than you.”

She was trying to comfort me.

That was ridiculous.

I was the one who was supposed to be doing the comforting. I was the one who crossed a line. I needed to try to make things right.

“You can hit me any time you want. But until then, why don't we get the fuck out of here?” I said, holding an arm out toward the door.

And she didn't flinch when my arm raised.

I was taking that as a good sign.

She wasn't afraid of me.

That was somewhere to work off of.

“Only if you cook again. I'm starving,” she said casually, as if we hadn't just gone through the weirdest experience of both of our lives. “Oh,” she said, turning back at the bottom stair, looking at me. “Yeah. And I gave Shooter a knife.”

Ten

Alex

I'm not exactly sure what I had been expecting from the meeting. But whatever I did have in mind, well, it was nowhere near as weird as what happened. With Lex acting all odd and formal. With Shoot seeming to care more about my life than his own even though he didn't know me at all.

I think a part of me had thought that Lex was going to pounce on me as soon as I walked in. I had expected anger. Hatred. Bitterness.

But there was none of that.

And that made no sense.

It didn't fit into his personality.

And, believe me, I knew all about his personality. I could do a psychological assessment I knew him so well. When he found out someone was working against him, well, let's just say he didn't ever take that news well.

I should have been beaten and dragged out of there. By the times guns were finally drawn, I had planned on already being in the throws of whatever an overdose of heroin felt like.

Something wasn't right.

And then I couldn't worry about that anymore because Shooter was being forced onto his knees and giving his last words and I just... couldn't let that happen. I didn't know him from Adam, but he had shown me, a complete stranger, kindness.

I couldn't let Breaker lose his best friend.

Because of me.

No way.

So I did the stupidest thing a woman could do around a man like Lex Keith. I screamed at him. I belittled him. I emasculated him.

And he didn't even rise to the bait.

Yeah, something was seriously off.

Breaker turned to me. His arm raised. I braced for it. But, in the end, there was no preparing for something like that. I had never been punched in the face before. Slapped? Sure. But punched? By a huge, hulking man? No. So while I had imagined it was going to be unpleasant, the reality was something I couldn't have dreamed.

The second of contact sent off an explosion of pain that seemed to radiate out, making my whole face throb as I felt myself start to fall. I had presence of mind to brace my fall just in time, half slamming into Shooter as I did so. My hand went to my face as my mind struggled to think through the pain.

And then Shoot was offering me his hand. And I remembered the knife.

He took it with the barest of smiles at his lips. Just a ghost of a grin with a light in his eyes as he tucked it into his shoe much like I had done.

Then everyone was gone.

And, somehow, the train car was more full of tension than it had been with three bad guys in it.

Because Breaker looked like something had shattered inside him.

He wasn't that kind of man.

The kind who used his strength against women.

And he couldn't reconcile this reality with the idea he had of himself.

Well, he was just going to have to get over it.

It was over.

Hopefully it never had to happen again.

But even if it did, I could never blame him for it.

“What the fuck do you mean you gave Shoot a knife?”

He took the stairs casually two at a time to match my run.

“I mean I took one of your pocketknives out of your pantry and put it in my boot. And when I fell... I handed it off to Shoot.”

Breaker stopped at the top landing, blocking my way, looking down at me. “Say again?”

I felt myself shrug. “I figured if he got himself into a situation... it would be good for him to have... something.”

“He's good with a knife,” Breaker said, looking over my shoulder. “Almost as good as he is with a gun.”

“And with a name like Shooter, I imagine that is pretty good.”

To this, he nodded. “You may have just saved his life, Alex,” he said, his blue eyes soft.

“It was the least I could do seeing as he was ready to give his life up for me,” I said, moving upward so he had to step back for me to walk past. It was starting to feel claustrophobic in the warehouse. I needed to get out. Get away. Breaker led me out to the car, opening my door for me, when I finally blurted out something I had been wondering since he said it. “Why would you send Shooter's dad scotch?”

Breaker snorted, his eyes warming a little. “Shoot's dad is a boozer. Always has been. Mean fuck when he drinks. Which is all the time. Used to beat the shit out of Shoot. As soon as he could afford it, he started sending his old man cases of expensive scotch every month.”

“Why?”

“It's just his own little 'fuck you' to him I guess. Knows the bastard would want to turn it down, but he can't 'cause he's an alcoholic, so he drinks it all. Gives Shoot some kind of sick satisfaction.”

“I like Shooter,” I said, getting into the seat and looking over at Breaker who was just standing there, holding the door open, his face a blank mask. “You'll get him back, Breaker.”

A muscle twitched in his jaw as he slammed the door and made his way around the truck.

The entire ride back to his house was in silence, both of us lost in our own thoughts. Which we probably should have been sharing. Comparing notes about what happened. See if we both picked up on the same strangeness of the whole encounter.

If Lex knew what I was doing, why was he having Breaker keep me? Why wasn't I in the fallout shelter in the woods getting all kinds of tortured? Why was I being given more time to do more damage? It made no sense whatsoever.

The rocks crunched under the tires of the truck, snapping me out of my thoughts as his house came into view.

Breaker got silently out of the truck and made his way up to the door, leaving me to follow behind him.

He needed to snap out of it. Hell, if anything, shouldn't he be happy I wasn't like... seizing and foaming out the mouth right about then? Hello... we should have been celebrating the fact that I was able to breathe another day. But, no, he was being all sulky because he had to put a hand on me.

Granted, my jaw was killing me, but I wasn't telling him that.

Sometime halfway into the ride, the adrenaline slipped away, taking with it whatever was keeping me blissfully unaware of pain. The throbbing came back stronger. Anytime I tried to open my mouth, it sent a shooting pain up my mandible and into my temple.

But still. It wasn't something to be all broken up about.

Breaker went in and went right to his liquor cabinet, taking out two glasses, and pouring into one. He raised the second one to me and I shook my head. I wasn't much of a drinker. And I definitely didn't drink whiskey straight from the bottle.

“I'm gonna go... get cleaned up,” I said instead, needing to get out of the dusty clothes, needing to wash the whole experience away. And also, needing to give Breaker a few more minutes to get himself back together.

I showered, changed back into the tee Breaker had given me earlier, then stopped to check out the damage to my face.

It was darkening. A bluish-purple four inch mark at the line just above my jawbone. With any luck, it wouldn't get much worse. He was already going to have a hard enough time looking at me.

I walked back out to find him sitting on the couch, the TV on low and his gaze was fixed on it, but he was looking through it. He had a rocks glass on his thigh, his hand wrapped around it, it's amber liquid half-filling it.

With a sigh, I made my way toward the living room, picking up his laptop as I passed and sitting down beside him.

There was still no response on the post so I set to work adding some more details, reports, making an even clearer image of Lex and his dealings.

Then I moved the laptop back onto the coffee table, still open, and turned to Breaker. He was still staring at the TV.

I reached over, taking the glass out of his hand and he let me, then put it back on the coffee table.

Then, before I could think better of it, I moved across him, putting one knee on either side of his hips, then pressing my chest against his, my face resting under his chin.

I took a deep breath, breathing him in. The crisp, clean soap from his shower, the woodsy scent of his laundry detergent, and just... him.

“Alex...”

“Shut up,” I said softly, letting one of my arms wrap around the back of his neck. “We both lived through a meeting with Lex. If that isn't a reason to hug, then I don't know what is. And I mean... I haven't hugged anyone in years so just shut up and let me do it, okay?”

His chest jumped slightly against me and I knew he was chuckling silently. A few seconds later, one of his arms wrapped around my hips and pulled me tighter.

“I'm sorry I hit you,” he said, his deep voice so full of regret that I felt my face nuzzle further into his neck, his beard tickling my cheek in the process.

I turned my face slightly, pressing my lips against his pulse. “Make it up to me,” I suggested, biting into my lower lip, hoping he took the bait or I was pretty sure I would die of mortification.

Breaker's hand slid up my spine then slipped into my hair, curling into it slightly, and using it to pull me backward. I moved back and looked down to find him watching me with a raised brow. “Make it up to you?”

“Yep,” I said, nodding, praying like hell my cheeks didn't break out into a blush. That would seriously kill the whole 'being in charge' vibe I was attempting.

“And how do you propose I do that?” he asked, giving me one of those eye-smiles of his.

“Use your imagination,” I suggested, planting both my hands on his chest, enjoying the strong muscles beneath my palms.

“Imagination?” he asked, brow raising. “Why use that when I can use this?” he asked. Then before I could see his hand moving, it was between us, his finger tracing up my slick cleft and working firm, slow circles over my clit.

My entire body convulsed once, hard, at the contact as a strangled whimper forced its way out of my throat.

I swallowed hard, watching the satisfied smirk settle on his face. “I thought I was the one who was supposed to make the first move.”

“Doll, you planted your sweet little ass on my lap wearin' just my t-shirt and no panties. I consider that a first move.”

I couldn't argue with that logic.

Besides, his fingers were causing all kinds of chaos between my thighs. His finger changed pace or direction every time I felt the coiling inside tighten, threaten to unleash. On the forth time of him sensing the release and pulling away, my fist slammed down hard on his shoulder. “Damn it,” I growled, sucking air into my lungs.

“More fun this way,” he said, shrugging, a smile tugging at his lips.

“For you maybe,” I said, lowering my eyes at him.

“You got complaints 'bout how I handle business?” he asked, sounding way too conceited for his own good.

“At this mome... fuck,” I cried out, his finger sliding down and thrusting inside me, curling and scraping across the top wall, making my legs jump reflexively. “Oh my god,” I choked, my hips raising up off of him slightly, giving him more access as his finger kept up it's unrelenting exploration of my g-spot.

“What were you saying?” he asked, his voice a low grumbling sound.

“No... nothing,” I said, my breathing coming out fast and shallow.

“Didn't think so,” he said, watching my face as he drove me up. And I was going up. And it was strange and foreign and so consuming I felt like I was going to explode if I ever made it to the top. My hips started moving of their own intuition, stoking my desire and Breaker made a growling sound in his throat. “That's it, ride it. Come for me, baby,” he urged, his thumb pressing down on my clit.

I wasn't wrong.

It was like an explosion.

Every muscle tensed. Every nerve ending fired. My breath hitched, hissing out his name as my sex pulsated hard around his finger in a seemingly endless wave. His finger kept working me through the whole thing, dragging it out until I wavered forward and collapsed against him.

His hand pressed in between my shoulder blades, holding me to him as I shivered through the aftershocks.

“Deep breaths, doll,” he said quietly as I struggled to calm down the erratic strobe-like pull of my breath. “Christ, you come that hard from my fingers... just think of what it will be like when it's my tongue or my cock.”

Some sort of sound escaped me, half moan, half objection.

I honestly couldn't even think of such a thing. I was barely holding it together from that orgasm. I couldn't imagine another one.

I was set.

For the night.

Or month.

Or my entire lifetime.

Yeah, it was that good.

“Did I make it up to you?”

“Make what up to me?”

“I'll take that as a yes,” he chuckled, his hands moving to grab my ass, holding it hard. “Come on,” he said, moving to stand, holding me to him by my butt, “let's get you some food.”

“Food?” I asked pushing back from his neck to look at him as he walked to the kitchen, dropping me down on the counter, and taking a step back.

He smiled, pressing his hips into my knees until my legs parted around his body. “Yeah, doll. Food. I'm going to feed you and then I am going to fuck you until you can't walk right for a week.”

Well then.