Текст книги "Scorched"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 16 страниц)

Chapter 11

Andrea

We lay side by side, our heads propped up on the abundance of pillows stacked at the head of the bed. I’d finally fixed my bra and had pulled my shirt back on, but Tanner was still rocking his bare chest hotness and I was okay with that.

He’d gone downstairs at some point and had grabbed us two sodas. Normally I drank diet, but I slurped up the good old-fashioned kind without complaint. He’d also brought up a block of cheese that he’d pulled apart in chunks, and I think I might’ve fallen in love with him a little at that moment.

Because cheese equaled happiness.

I had no idea where Syd and Kyler were or if they had any suspicions about the kinkery that had just gone down in this room, but I was trying not to do a lot of thinking, because thinking led to stressing and stressing led to stupidity for me.

Tanner talked about some of the calls he’d responded to while working at the fire hall. The funny ones—like when someone had locked themselves out on the balcony of their apartment…naked as the day they were born. Or when the department was called by an overeager child who’d just learned in school what to do in case of an emergency and was more of a show than tell when it came to explaining to their parents what they’d learned.

He laughed a lot, and I liked it when he did. It was a good sound, one I had tried not to pay attention to before, but now I couldn’t help but smile when I heard it. I was slow to realize that he was always laughing. I just had to pull my head out of my ass and pay attention.

“So how did your parents react when you changed your major?”

My eyes widened. “Oh, my God, they flipped out. They think I’m throwing away all of my education and that I’m ruining my life by wanting to become a teacher.”

“I don’t think becoming a teacher is ruining your life,” he said. “Plus, it’s just as important as becoming a doctor.”

I raised one hand and rubbed my thumb and pointer together. “Money. A teacher makes way less money.”

“And that’s all they care about?”

Was it? “That’s a hard question to answer, to be honest. Money is important to them. I don’t think it’s the only thing.” I frowned slightly. “I think they just want to make sure I have a…a good life, you know? That I don’t struggle.”

“That’s understandable, but being a teacher doesn’t mean you’ll be dirt poor.”

I laughed softly as I bent one leg. “Yeah, and they also wanted me to become a plastic surgeon like them—like Brody was going to do. Unless I decided to specialize in emergency procedures, I’d spend my life augmenting boobs and noses.”

“Did Brody change what he’s doing? He’s in med school, right?”

Surprise flitted through me. I had no idea that he remembered anything about my brother. He’d met him once, though it had been brief. “He’s not doing plastic surgery. He’s going for trauma. I think he likes the adrenaline.”

I also think he liked the whole God complex that came with the job. Good fit for him.

“My parents have accepted it,” I added as I wiggled my toes. “Begrudgingly, but hey, at least Brody hasn’t disappointed them, so they have that.”

He cocked his head to the side. “You haven’t disappointed them.”

The way he said it was almost like he completely believed that, but I knew better. They were disappointed. One day they’d fully get over it, and I was sure it wasn’t the only decision I’d made or would make in my life that would upset them. I really didn’t want to think about that.

It was so…different hanging with Tanner like this. Not like we hadn’t had moments, lots of them, when we weren’t trying to kill one another, but this was kind of like we were together, really together. Of course, I knew we weren’t, but…

I cradled the can against my chest, staring down at it, smiling as Tanner’s laughter faded. “You’ve gotten quiet,” he said, knocking his knee off mine. “You okay?”

Shaking my head, I glanced over at him. “I’m okay. Really good. It’s just…this is nice,” I said lamely. “I mean, I haven’t just sat like this with a…”

“With a dude?” he supplied.

I nodded. “Not for a long time.”

“How long?”

I coughed out a dry laugh. “A really, embarrassingly long time. Not since I dated this really dumb quarterback in high school.” My cheeks heated. “So, yeah, that long.”

Tanner didn’t respond.

Ugh. I peeked at him again, expecting to see him looking at me like I was some kind of sad specimen of a person, but he was just…he was just looking at me, his eyes soft. “What?” I whispered.

“I’m glad you picked me to do this with, then,” he said after a moment.

My heart fluttered like a little bird. “I think you kind of picked yourself.”

“Whatever,” he chuckled, and then leaned over me, placing what was left of the cheese and his soda on the nightstand.

“You know, there’s a stand on your side,” I pointed out.

He leaned back against the cushions and gave a lopsided shrug. “Yours is better,” he said, and I laughed at the absurdity that was all him. “But it’s hard to believe that you don’t do this.”

“I don’t.” I lifted a shoulder and something really stupid blurted out of me. “I liked doing what I did to you.”

A slow grin curled his lips. “I did too. I really, really liked it. Basically, whenever you feel the need to do it, you just let me know. I don’t care where we are or what we’re doing. I’ll make sure you can do it.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“You do that.” He paused as he crossed his legs at the ankles. “Seriously, though, I didn’t expect that. Made it all the more sweet.”

There he went again, saying possibly the most correct thing in the world. I looked away, staring at my soda. “It never felt like that. I mean, anytime I did that before, I kind of felt like I had to, you know?”

A moment passed. “No. I don’t know. Explain?”

“Guys just kind of expect it,” I said, toying with the tab on the can. “No one goes home from bars expecting to chat.”

There was another stretch of silence. “Maybe people shouldn’t go home with others if they think they’ll owe someone something.” His words were clipped, stern.

My head jerked up and our gazes met. “I’m not sure if that was an insult or not.”

He frowned. “It’s not an insult. You should never feel like you owe a guy that. No matter what. I don’t care if they ate you out or gave you a million dollars.”

I raised my brows. “Ate me out or a million dollars? Nice use of examples there. I don’t know, Tanner. I think if someone gave me a million dollars, I’d be down for just about anything.”

His frown turned into a scowl.

“I was joking,” I added softly.

Tanner’s stare was unnerving. “Have you ever been… forced into doing that, Andrea?”

His question caused me to flinch back. “What? No! That’s not what I meant. It’s just sometimes…” I trailed off as what I was saying really sank in. The soda curdled in my stomach, and I wished I hadn’t shoved the huge chunks of cheese into my mouth. My head raced back through the nights that I’d gone home knowing the guy expected to get laid, but not wanting to. I’d done that, because at that time, I’d thought there were no other options. Stupid. There were always options. Like “no,” for example.

Then there were those nights I really couldn’t remember.

Jesus. I felt sick. I didn’t like where my head was going with this. Sweat dotted my palms. It wasn’t like I’d been… I couldn’t even finish that thought. I didn’t know what that meant—doing things because I felt like I had to, or not remembering what I did sometimes. Or maybe I did, and I just didn’t want to grab hold of those thoughts.

I needed a drink.

Okay. That was probably not the best response to the situation.

Tanner reached over, tapping his fingers along my arm. “I’m thinking some pretty bad things right now.”

I couldn’t look at him.

“I hope it’s just my head jumping to conclusions unjustly,” he added.

The next breath I took hurt for some reason. “It’s jumping to conclusions.”

His hand stilled and he wrapped his fingers around my wrist and squeezed softly. “Hey,” he said gently. “Look at me.”

Drawing in a shallow breath, I lifted my gaze and our eyes met. Held. A heartbeat passed, and I felt stripped bare, more exposed than I had been earlier.

“I just want you to know that if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m here. No matter the time of the day. You got that?”

And then I saw it plain as day in his gaze. There was no mistaking it. Not just sympathy. Part of me could’ve dealt with that, but there was more lurking in those blue eyes.

Pity.

He stared at me, full of pity. Every muscle in my body tightened. Skin prickled with uncomfortable heat. The urge to get away rushed through me. I couldn’t do this.

Tanner

I saw the exact moment Andrea shut down on me. As soon as I told her that she could talk to me about anything, shutters closed over her eyes. The girl who’d sat next to me and laughed was gone. The girl who opened up about her parents had left the room. And the girl who had cried out, surrendered herself, was nowhere to be seen.

Shit.

“Andy—”

“I’m really tired.” She swung her legs off the bed and stood before I could respond. “I think it’s time for me to get some sleep.” She started toward the door, seemed to remember that we were in her room, stopped, and placed her soda on a dresser. Her back was to me.

Heart dropping, I scooted off the bed and held myself back. I had a feeling that going to her would somehow make this worse. “Andrea, I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t do anything.” Slowly, she faced me and plastered a smile across her pretty face. Fake. Plastic. “I’m just really tired all of a sudden. You wore me out.” Her laugh was brittle-sounding. “I need my beauty rest.”

I opened my mouth, but clamped my jaw shut as her smile spread—the kind of smile doctors wore when giving patients bad news.

She gathered up a bundle of clothing from the chair, cradling the items close to her chest as she stopped in front of the bed. “I’ll see you in the morning?”

A huge part of me wanted to demand to know what the hell was going on, but there was no mistaking that her walls were up. I watched her hurry into the bathroom and quietly close the door.

I briefly considered plopping my ass down and waiting for her, but I’d accidentally hit a raw nerve, and frankly, I was too pissed to really have this conversation. Not angry at her, but if she really had done things with guys because she felt like she had to instead of wanting to, it was likely I’d punch a wall.

Thank God I did not have a sister.

If I couldn’t deal with the thought of assholes treating Andrea like that, what the hell would I do if I had a sister? Fuck. I’d end up in jail.

Angry and beyond frustrated, I gathered up our drinks and what was left of the cheese and left the room, taking them downstairs. The first level was dark and quiet, and after grabbing a bottle of water, I ended up back upstairs, in my room.

Shit.

Dropping down on the bed, I ran my hands over my face. Things were all over the place with Andrea and me, but I felt like we’d moved forward. It wasn’t just because what she and I had done in that bed, but because of everything before, during and after that. But now? I couldn’t shake the feeling that we’d taken one huge step backward.

Chapter 12

Andrea

My brows rose as I watched Syd place a backpack by the kitchen island. It looked like it weighed more than she did.

“You’re going to carry that while hiking?” I asked.

“Yep.” She tugged her hair up and secured it with a hair tie. “It’s really not that bad and it’s smart to be prepared in case something happens.”

“Like when a rabid bear tries to eat you?”

She grinned. “I don’t think we’re going to run into any rabid bears. And we’re not just going to hike. We’re going to camp out for the night.”

I gaped at her. “Seriously?”

Walking over to the counter, she grabbed the pot of coffee and began pouring the steaming liquid into her Thermos. “Yeah.” She looked over her shoulder at me and laughed. “You should see your expression. It’s like I just told you that we’re going to go camping on Mount Everest or something.”

I hopped up on the barstool. “When did you guys decide this?”

“Last night. After you went to bed.” She screwed the lid on the Thermos and faced me. “You know, after Tanner also went upstairs.”

Schooling my expression blank, I picked up my mug. “Okay.”

“Yep. Kyler and I thought it would be kind of cool to do. We used to camp out all the time when we were kids, so it’ll be fun.” Syd skipped over to me, placing the Thermos on the counter. “We were going to invite you and Tanner.”

“Oh really?” I murmured.

She nodded. “Actually, Kyler went upstairs last night to ask Tanner if he wanted to camp with us.”

My hand tightened around the warm mug.

“Strangely, Tanner wasn’t in his room.” Syd paused, lowering her voice. “And the funny thing was, he heard these noises coming from your—”

“Stop it,” I said, cheeks flaming. “I know where you’re going with this.”

Her eyes narrowed as she climbed onto the stool next to mine. “You need to spill, right now, and make it quick before Kyler gets his butt down here.”

Any other time I would’ve given her all the juicy details, but I shifted uncomfortably. Tanner could walk in on us at any moment. I took a deep breath and said in a quiet voice, “We didn’t have sex.”

She gave me her best serious look. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Andrea.”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t say we didn’t do other things, but we didn’t do that.”

“What other things?” A wide smile broke out across her face as she smacked my arm. “Tell me. Tell me now.”

“Stuff. Things. Use your imagination.”

She folded her arms and waited. “My imagination sucks. I need help.”

I glanced at the stairwell. “It involved his hands and my mouth. How about that?”

“Oh!” she chirped. “You dirty girl. He’s a dirty boy. You all are getting dirty together.”

“Oh my God,” I moaned, tucking a stray curl back. “You shouldn’t be talking. I know the dirty things you and Kyler do.”

“Hells yeah,” she replied, giggling. “The things we did last night were pretty freaky. Loved every second of it.”

I simply stared at her.

She tilted her head back and laughed, and I shook my head. “We spent most of the time just hanging out, to be honest,” I admitted after a moment. “It was really nice.”

“I’m sure it was.” Sincerity filled her words. “Tanner is a really good guy and you’re awesome. So it had to be nice.”

I wanted to deny that last part. Tanner was an awesome guy, and I was…well, I wasn’t sure what I was on most days.

“You two have always been circling one another,” she continued, drawing my focus. “It’s about time that you let go of what happened freshman year and he recognizes what’s been in front of his face a lot longer than he even realized.”

My heart stuttered and then sped up. I thought about the way he’d looked at me last night. “I don’t know, Syd. I’m…” I was afraid to open myself up, to expose myself to all that hope.

She touched my arm. “Just don’t stress out about it, okay? And if you feel up to it, give it a chance. Give it one shot. Use your time alone with him and see what happens. Kyler and I aren’t planning to come back until tomorrow evening. You two will have all day today and tomorrow.”

Understanding seeped in. “You guys are going camping because of us—”

“We’re going camping because we want to.” Her sly grin said otherwise. Footsteps sounded from above, nearing the stairs. She hopped off the stool and then leaned in, kissing my cheek. “Have fun.”

I said nothing as she danced off toward the stairway. Sitting there, I stared into my mug as my pulse began to race. Sweat dotted my palms, but I regulated my breathing, taking deep breaths before the overwhelmed feeling could take hold and spread like a virus.

When I heard Kyler’s deep voice, I looked up and closed my eyes. In a lot of ways, I was a coward. And I didn’t like that about myself. Not at all, but it was scary—the idea of giving us a chance when I wasn’t even sure Tanner would be on board.

But there’d been last night, and there’d been the time in the pool. He had said it meant something to him, and maybe…I wasn’t seeing what I thought I saw in the way he looked at me. Maybe I was reading too much into that and not enough into what he was actually saying. I opened my eyes, I decided that I could at least try.

I would try.

Tanner

I normally wasn’t a suspicious man, but I had this distinct feeling that Kyler and Sydney’s impromptu camping trip reeked of a hidden agenda. With them gone, Andrea and I had the whole place to ourselves.

And I totally wasn’t complaining.

When we got back to Maryland, I was going to buy Kyler a drink, or maybe one for Sydney—for whichever was the mind behind their deviously brilliant plan.

The two of them had left about three hours ago, and I was still giving Andrea some space. She was downstairs for the most part, at least not hiding, and neither was I. I’d plopped myself in the living room and had been flipping channels for a while when she reappeared in the room.

My thumb paused over the remote as I glanced over at her. Her red hair was pulled up in some kind of twist so there was no hiding the pretty flush creeping across her cheeks.

Fingers clasped together in front of her, she shifted her weight from one foot to the next. The skirt of her lavender dress swung just above her knees. She was barefoot, and I noticed that the paint on her nails was a different color than before. They were now a pale blue.

I had never, in my entire life, noticed a chick’s toenail polish until now.

“I was going to go outside.” Her gaze met mine and then flickered away. “I wanted to see if you wanted to, um, to join me?”

What I wanted to do was jump to my feet and thrust my fist into the air, but I managed to calmly turn off the TV, place the remote on the couch, and stand. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Her smile was quick, but beautiful nonetheless. As she turned around and walked toward the glass doors, I trailed after her, wanting to start spewing poetry and shit. Rubbing a hand along my jaw, I shook my head as we stepped outside. She went to the side of the pool, sitting down and dipping her feet into the water. The rain last night had raised the levels, and the water nearly reached the edge.

Following her, I rolled up the legs of my jeans and did the same. Since the storm yesterday, the temps had dropped. While it was still warm, it was bearable—we could sit outside and not have sweat pooling in uncomfortable places.

Andrea stared at the slowly rippling water. “So…when you leave for the police academy, how long will you be gone?”

The question caught me off-guard, because I was surprised and glad that she wanted to know, but I recovered quickly. “It’s about six months.”

She glanced at me quickly, eyes wide. “That long?”

I nodded. “But we do get time off. We can leave after a little while, and people can visit us on assigned days. It’s not like no contact for six months.” At first I wasn’t sure why I was telling her all of that, but then I realized I wanted her to know that I’d be around, available. For her. “So, I’ll still be around.”

Andrea seemed to mull that over. “Are you excited?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, splashing my feet. “It feels like I’ve been working toward it since forever.”

“You don’t have to go to college to enter the academy, right?”

I shook my head. “No, but it gave me a foot up on those who didn’t. Plus, having a degree in criminal justice and having experience on a police force will allow me to move more easily into federal positions.”

“That’s what you want to do? Federal law enforcement?”

“Eventually,” I nudged her with my arm and grinned. “Because while I know I’ll look damn good in a police uniform, just imagine what I’d look like in a suit.”

Andrea tipped her head back and laughed. “I can second that.”

“Damn straight.”

Smiling, she paddled her feet in the water. “When you end up pulling girls over, they’re going to willingly accept whatever ticket you’re giving them.”

I chuckled, admittedly basking in the compliments she was paying me. Fuck. I was ready to roll on my back and let her rub my stomach.

“It’s so dangerous, though. The job.” She started to toy with the hem of her skirt. “Does that scare you?”

I thought about that for a moment. “I think I’d be stupid or reckless to say that it’s not scary. I think there’s a healthy level of fear. It keeps you on your toes.”

She nodded slowly. “That’s an interesting way to think of it.”

“What about you?” I asked. “You have to be terrified, too.”

Her lips turned down at the corners. “How so?”

“You’re going to be working with kids,” I explained. “Nothing more terrifying than that.”

Andrea giggled. “But you know what? I don’t have to take those kids home with me.”

“And I won’t take the job home with me,” I admitted, meeting her gaze and holding it. “It’ll be hard, but I refuse to do that shit.”

She didn’t look away. “Did…did your dad do that?”

I raised a shoulder. “I don’t think he knew how to separate the two, but that was the least of his fuck-ups.”

“Do you have any contact with him?” she asked.

“Not really. I’m cool with that, though. I still see my mom.” I leaned back, resting on my elbows. “What about you? Are you close to your parents? You’ve never really said before.”

“I am. We get together every other Sunday for dinner. All of us. Mom likes to cook, so it’s a grand affair for her.” A loose curl blew across her cheek. “I kind of look forward to it.”

My gaze traveled across her face. “That’s good.” Sitting up, I reached over and caught the curl with my fingers. She stilled as I tucked it back behind her ear. Her wide eyes latched onto mine. “Your brother, if I remember correctly, isn’t a redhead. How about your parents?”

“My mom is,” she answered, swallowing. “My dad has brown hair and blue eyes. Brody takes after him.”

The tips of my fingers had minds of their own. They trailed down the smooth curve of her cheekbone. “So you take after your mom?”

Her lips parted. “Yes.”

“Then she must be beautiful.”

The hue of Andrea’s eyes deepened. “You know what?”

“What?” I grinned as my finger reached the corner of her lips.

“You can be a real charmer when you want to be.”

“And I want to be.” Leaning toward her, I replaced my finger with my lips, kissing the corner of hers. “With you.”

Andrea pulled back slightly, ducking her chin as she peered up at me through thick lashes. “I don’t know what to do…with you.”

I didn’t let her get very far. Curling my hand around the nape of her neck, I brought our foreheads together. “Yeah, you do, Andy. Just do whatever you want.”

Her eyes squeezed shut. “What I mean is, I don’t know how to do this with you.”

My heart thumped heavily. “You’re doing just fine.” I paused. “Most of the time.”

The corners of her lips quirked up. “Yeah, maybe about fifty percent of the time.”

Placing my other hand on her cheek, I smoothed my thumb along her jaw. With Andrea, I never really knew where I stood with her. One minute, she was sweet as sugar to me. The next, she had a bite more venomous than a copperhead. But I had great instincts. Always have. I knew she liked me, and I had a feeling that like ran deeper than friendship or lust. I was going to have to be the one to take the first step, to really put it out there so there was no mistaking what I wanted or expected from this.

I pulled back just a little, cupping both sides of her face. “When we leave this cabin at the end of the week, I want to see you.”

Her lashes fluttered up. “We’ll see each other.”

I grinned. “I know, but that’s not what I mean. I want to see you, Andrea. You get what I’m saying?”

Andrea’s gaze searched mine, and I was seriously hoping I wasn’t going to have to write it down. Like those notes back in grade school—Do you like me? Circle yes or no. But then she drew in a deep breath and said, “I get what you’re saying.”

Thank God. “So, what’s your answer?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I want to see you, Tanner.”