Текст книги "Forever with You"

Автор книги: Jennifer L. Armentrout

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Текущая страница: 13 (всего у книги 20 страниц)

Chapter 19

This was so not happening again.

Nick was oblivious to how close he was to death as he placed a hand on the edge of the bar and leaned in, his face coming dangerously close. “What are you doing here, Stephanie?”

“Oh, man.” Jax spun around and headed toward the other end of the bar.

I took several deep breaths. “Why would I not be here, Nick?”

His brows lifted like twin wings, but Reece cut in before he could respond. “Answer that question carefully, my friend, because I just went down that road. It was curvy.”

“Yeah, we just had this conversation for you,” Roxy said, her eyes sharp behind her Harry Potter glasses. “And Reece didn’t fair too well.”

Out of the corners of my eyes I saw Calla start toward us, but Jax tagged her with a quick shake of his head. She wisely stayed away.

Nick was ignoring everyone, though. “Why would you not be here, in a bar? You’re pregnant.”

I opened my mouth, but there were no words, so my jaw snapped back together. Nick wasn’t exactly mad, more like shocked, and my irritation gave away to indecisiveness. I glanced around, and I saw Roxy looking like she was seconds away from whacking Nick over the head with a bottle of liquor.

“It’s safe for me to be here,” I said, my voice low. “I’m not drinking. No one is smoking. And I doubt there’s about to be a massive fight with this crowd.” I could feel the heat traveling from my neck to my face. “I even looked it up on the Internet. Pregnant women go out.” Then I started rambling, and I didn’t even know why, but I wanted to smack myself so I stopped. “I was bored. All I’ve been doing is sitting in my apartment, night after night. It’s really lonely and I’ve—” Luckily, I cut myself off before I blurted out that I missed him. Right now I wasn’t sure if that was wise.

“Hey Nick, you got a minute?”

I glanced over to see a heavier older man with a bald head and grease stains splattered across his blue shirt. He was standing in front of the kitchen doors, and I assumed that was the cook.

Nick’s shoulders tensed as he sighed and straightened. His eyes were fastened to mine. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Looking away, I nodded. Nick thrust his hands through his hair as he wheeled around, walking back toward the kitchen. My gaze fell to my ginger ale. Bubbles clung to the glass wall, and I suddenly found myself so very interested in those little dots of carbonation happiness, because I could feel several sets of eyes on me. I squirmed in my seat, the muggy and oppressive feeling crowding my thoughts. I was . . . indecisive about coming here now, and I felt . . . embarrassed. Was it wrong? I mean, I could see both sides of the argument, but what I’d said to Nick had been true. All the alone time was getting to me.

“You okay?” Roxy asked.

Swallowing hard, I nodded as I lifted my gaze. “Yeah. Yes. I’m okay.”

A look of doubt crossed her face as she turned to one of the guys from the pool tables. She was grabbing bottles of beer when I saw Nick step out from the kitchen. Jax walked over to him and glanced inside when Nick nodded in that direction. Calla joined them, and even though my head was caught up in its old weird brand of misery, I couldn’t help but notice how Nick stiffened with her arrival. Recalling what Roxy had said about his behavior around her pecked at my attention. He obviously wasn’t comfortable. That much was true, but why?

Why did it really matter right now anyway? I picked up my clutch, holding it in my lap as my gaze returned to my glass. The bubbles were less active. For the first time that I could remember, I felt out of place, and God, was that a pleasant feeling. Who knew that becoming pregnant would be such a blow to confidence? Then again, maybe it wasn’t the pregnancy. Maybe it was the fact that everything in the last couple of weeks had been completely uncharted waters for me.

Being pregnant. Acknowledging that I wanted more from Nick. Attempting a real relationship. Being pregnant. Not being up front with my boss. Being away from my mom. All of this was new to me.

The weight of it all suddenly landed on my shoulders, and I swallowed a sigh. Going back home and curling up with that bowl of candy sounded like a really fun idea.

“Hey.”

I looked over at Reece. “Yeah?”

“Don’t let it get to you,” he advised quietly. “Nick’s a guy. And guys are generally stupid. Trust me, I know. I’m a guy. A stupid guy from time to time.”

Appreciating the words, I smiled slightly as I ran my fingers over the beads of my clutch.

When I didn’t say anything, Reece continued, his voice low. “As long as I’ve known him, he’s never been serious about anyone. He’s probably going to need a substantial learning curve when it comes to not saying things that are going to piss you off.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that, but my experience with real relationships was as nonexistent as his, and I wasn’t over here acting like an ass. Well, I kind of acted like an ass that time I didn’t respond to his text, but at least my bitchy behavior was in private.

About fifteen minutes passed and Nick had disappeared back into the kitchen along with Jax. I had no idea what they were doing in there, but when I glanced at my phone, it was close to nine. My gaze swung to the kitchen doors again, but they remained closed. Roxy was over at the other side of the bar, mixing three drinks at once.

“Hey,” I said, sliding off the stool. “I’m going to head out of here. Can you let Roxy and Calla know I said good-bye? I’ll text Nick.”

Reece lifted his glass of what I assumed was water and eyed me over the rim. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“Thanks.” I started to turn.

“Drive carefully.”

I nodded and then left the bar. The cool air that greeted me was a welcome respite. Once in my car, I sent Nick a quick text letting him know I was going home. The drive back was quick, and the first thing I did when I walked into my bedroom was kick off my shoes and pull my sweater off. I tossed it in the wicker hamper and then turned, planning to go back to the kitchen and reacquaint myself with the bowl of candy, but my gaze strayed to the shelf, across the spring break picture, and stayed on the picture of my father.

He was in tan army fatigues, and that’s how I always remembered him. Even when he had been home, at some point I saw those tan camouflage pants. They were a symbol of him coming home and a warning that he would soon be leaving. It is possible to love and hate something so fiercely and so equally.

Reaching up, I ran my fingers along the framed photo as I let out a shaky breath. God, I missed him so very much, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he’d say about having a grandchild—what he would feel. Would he have been proud or disappointed? No matter what, I knew he’d be as supportive as Mom.

I bit down on my lip as I lowered my hand. Now I really needed that candy. Tonight I was going to eat my emotions. I’d started down the hall and reached the bathroom when I heard a knock on my front door.

Frowning, I walked to the door and checked out the peephole. Surprise shuttled through me. It was Nick outside, but that didn’t make sense. He was supposed to be at work. Throwing the lock, I opened the door.

“What are—?”

The rest of the words were lost in action. He stepped in, shutting and locking the door behind him. My heart jumped into the vicinity of my throat. Nick circled an arm around my waist, lifting me up and pulling me against his chest. His other hand folded across the nape of my neck. Within a heartbeat Nick’s mouth was on mine and he was kissing me. There was nothing slow and tentative about this kiss. It was deep and consuming, and before I knew it, my arms were around his neck. I hung on to him, reeling from the depth of the kiss, of how I felt in his embrace. Like a treasure or a rare work of art. That was how he kissed, and it was like touching on forever.

Nick was slow to break the contact, but when he did, he pressed his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry,” he said, and the kiss had twisted up my senses so much that I didn’t realize at first what he was apologizing for. Or why he was talking. I just wanted him to kiss me again. “I didn’t mean to come off as a dick at the bar,” he explained, clueing me in. “I was just surprised to see you and I was worried about you being in there, in case something happened.”

My fingers tangled in the soft strands of his hair. “Nothing would’ve happened.”

“Yeah, life has a way of proving that statement wrong.” His lips brushed over mine as he spoke, sending a series of shivers down my spine. “Anyway, I think I need to learn how to think before I speak.”

A little smile tugged at my lips. “That sounds like a good plan.”

“You think so?” His gaze was hooded as he kissed me softly. When I nodded, I was rewarded with another lingering, blistering sweep of his lips. “Hold on.”

My breath caught as the arm around my waist lifted me clear off my feet. Instinct guided my legs around his hips. I felt him then, hard and straining against his jeans. It was like a switch had been thrown inside me. When he’d kissed me, pleasure swirled tightly, but feeling him now sent a bolt of pure lust through me.

Nick started walking, carrying me back toward the bedroom as he spoke. “I didn’t think.”

“Think about what?” There was a breathless quality to my voice I didn’t even recognize.

With his long-legged steps, we were in my bedroom within a heartbeat. “I didn’t think about how lonely you’ve been.” Before I could respond, he was kissing me again, his tongue dancing along mine. “That you’re new to this town, new to work, and new to me.”

Another deep, scorching kiss scattered my thoughts. He stopped in the middle of my bedroom, the hand around the back of my neck tightened, tangled with my hair. “I wanted to tell you that at the bar, but I was middle of helping Clyde hook up a new fryer. That shit was actually complicated. And when I came back out, you were gone.”

“I texted you.”

Nick shifted, placing me on the edge of the bed. “I didn’t check my phone.” Straightening, he shrugged off his leather jacket. It hit the floor with a soft thud. “As soon as I saw you were gone, I went to Jax. He let me go.”

I wet my lips as he reached down, wrapping his fingers along the hem of his shirt. “You left work to come here?”

“I don’t like the idea of you being lonely.” Pulling the shirt over his head, he let it fall to where his jacket rested. “Fuck. I don’t like that idea at all.”

My mouth dried as I got a good eyeful of him. Things had been so fast and heated the night we got together that I really didn’t get the time to appreciate him in all his bare-chested glory. Nick had a great body—a runner’s body. Chest defined and hard, stomach rippled tautly, and hips narrow and lean. Those jeans hung way low, and my eyes followed the fine trail of hair that started at his navel and disappeared under the band of his jeans.

He kicked his boots off next, then his socks. I don’t know what it was about seeing a man’s feet, but there was something entirely intimate about it. Maybe I was just weird like that. “You shouldn’t feel that way,” he continued, drawing my gaze to his. “I don’t want you to.”

“I know you have a lot on your plate and—”

“Yeah, I do.” His fingers went to the button on his jeans, flipping the waist open, then the tinny sound of the zipper going down sent goose bumps over my skin. “But there’s time. There’s a lot of time, and I’m going to start making better use of it.”

His jeans dropped, and he was in a pair of tight black boxer briefs.

“I can totally get behind this use of time,” I murmured.

He chuckled. “And that’s why I like you.”

There was a tiny part of me that wanted to demand what else he liked about me, but that wasn’t what came out of my mouth. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been kissed.”

He stilled, his lips curling up at the corners. “What?”

“I . . . I haven’t really kissed a guy since high school,” I admitted, feeling a little foolish for blurting that out. “I know that sounds all Pretty Woman, but it’s just not something . . .” An unfamiliar moment of uncertainty slammed into me. “God, that’s a stupid thing to say right now. Can we forget I even spoke and get back to getting naked?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I get it.” He reached out, smoothing a hand along my cheek. “You and I . . . ? We’re something else, aren’t we?”

I laughed softly.

“Most people wouldn’t get it, probably wouldn’t even tolerate us, but together . . . we make sense.”

There was a startling truth to his words, but there was also a part of me that wondered if he would’ve come to that conclusion—if I would’ve found myself here with him—if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.

Then Nick was naked, and I was pretty much only capable of focusing on that. I hadn’t even seen the last piece of clothing go off, but there he was, and dear God, it was like hitting the male jackpot.

A hundred percent male, he was a study of hard lines, cut muscles, and masculine beauty. He had no shame standing there in front of me, and there was no mistaking how ready he was. And his size? Whoa.

Pulse pounding, I dragged in air as he curved his fingers under my chin. With slight pressure, he urged me onto my feet. A small grin played across his lips as his hands slipped down my arms and then to the hem of my tank. Without saying a word, he tugged it up and over my head. It joined his clothing. The tips of my breasts were already tight, aching.

His gaze dipped and he made this sound in the back of his throat that turned my knees weak. “These . . .” He ran one hand over the cup of my bra, and I sucked in an unsteady breath. “You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to see these.” That hand glided up, over the black lace and then under the cup. His thumb smoothed over the tip, and pleasure darted out from there, cascading into a shimmery veil of pleasure. “To touch them.” His other hand snaked around my back, and with nimble fingers he unhooked my bra.

A flush spread across my skin as the bra slipped down my arms and off me. Bare to his eyes from the waist up, I bit down on my lip as I let him look his fill, and he did. He looked until I felt like he was committing the image into his memory, until that flush turned into sweltering heat.

Then he cupped me with both hands.

My back arched and a breathy moan escaped me as his fingers did crazy insane things to my senses. I reached out, placing my hand on his chest to steady myself as he explored. His skin was hot under my palm and I could feel his heart pounding.

“Nick,” I breathed.

He shook his head. “I didn’t take my time when we were together. I’m rectifying that right now.”

Oh goodness, he really was. He spent so much time there that when he finally reached for the button on my jeans, I was nearly out of my mind. Each breath I took was shallow and a pulse had picked up, moving deep inside me. My jeans were peeled off in a daze.

Nick dropped to his knees in front of me, his hands settling on my hips. His hair tickled my skin as he placed a kiss just below my navel. “That’s for the sweet pea inside you,” he said, and my heart imploded in a pile of goo. “Yeah, I’ve been doing my own research. And this . . .” His head lowered and he kissed me again, over my center. Even with the satin between his lips and my skin, I felt the touch straight to my core. “And that’s for you.”

My hand was trembling as I touched him, slipping my fingers through his hair. A knot of emotion built in my throat. I knew it right then, when he’d kissed my stomach, that I could seriously fall for this guy. My heart pounded fast.

Nick lifted his head, peering up through thick dark lashes. Those green eyes were bright with heat. “I think I could spend years right here.”

“On your knees?” My voice shook a bit.

One side of his lips kicked up. “As long as you’re standing above me.”

My laugh was dry, shaky. “You’re too much.”

“No. I’m not.” His lips skated over my upper thigh. “I think I . . . yeah, I need to change that.”

I didn’t understand what those words meant, or maybe I did and I was too afraid to believe them, but then I wasn’t really thinking about it because his fingers were inching the satin down my hips, over my thighs, and then they were gone and I was completely bare, just like him.

And then he explored there, with his hands and his fingers, and finally that beautiful mouth of his. My head fell back on my shoulders, and when he worked me, tasted me, my hips moved in tandem.

Nick pulled away right before I exploded. He rose, swallowing my whimper of frustration with a kiss. One hand roped my hair, tilting my head back. The kisses turned deeper, became more urgent and fierce. My hands slid over him and down, my fingers wrapping around his thickness. His hips punched out, and then my back was pressed into the bed.

His hands curved under my arms and he lifted me up, dragging me up the center of the mattress, and his mouth claimed mine. We were a tangle of arms and legs, of greedy hands and even more ravenous kisses. Sex . . . sex had never been like this before. Sure, it had been fun and I’d experienced my fair share of orgasms and good times, but this was mind-blowing, because it wasn’t just about two people who wanted to get off. There was a passion in the way his lips moved over my skin, a desire in the way my hands familiarized themselves with the many dips and hard planes, and a shattering intimacy when he lifted himself up onto his forearm, his gaze holding mine as he guiding himself into me.

My hips arched and my hands clenched his arms as he began to move, slowly at first, a teasing rhythm that was just too much. I pressed the heels of my feet into his calves. My nails skated over his skin. Pressure built inside of me, and his thrusts picked up, his hot breath dancing off my cheek, the provocative words he spoke into my ear urging me on. He was on me, around me, and in me—a part of me. Skin on skin. Nothing between us. The tension rapidly spun, coiling tight and tighter.

This wasn’t two people fucking.

That was the last thought at the knot in my very core bursting, whipping out. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed into me. My head kicked back and I cried his name and God only knows whatever words. I tightened all around him as he thrust an arm under me, sealing my body to his as his hips ground against mine. His other arm caged me in, holding me in place. He was moving wildly, his hips bucking, and the pressure was too much. The aftershocks shattered again and the world seemed to splinter as another release powered through me.

Nick shouted hoarsely a second before he buried his head in the space between my neck and shoulder. He stilled, his hips pressed into mine. A great shudder rocked him as I held him, and several long moments passed before he moved.

He lifted his head as my hands slid down his sides. His lips pressed against my temple, a heartbeat later gliding over my brow. There was a quick peck on the tip of my nose and then he kissed me sweetly.

And something about that lazy, soft kiss was more powerful than any of the others.

Nick eased out of me, and out of past experience I expected him to hop out of the bed and the awkward search and rescue for clothes would begin. But he didn’t. With his one arm still under me, he tugged me along with him as he rolled onto his back, gathering me up so my front was pressed against his side and my leg tangled with his. We were damp and flushed, but as my cheek came down on his shoulder, there wasn’t a place more comfortable. His hand idly roamed up and down my back. Neither of us spoke.

As I lay there, my heart pounding and my breaths still coming too fast, an earlier thought resurfaced. Was I falling for him?

Nick turned his head toward mine and his lips brushed my forehead.

No. I wasn’t falling for him.

Because there was a good chance I had already fallen for him.

Chapter 20

At some point Nick had gotten up and made his way into the kitchen, completely naked and totally at ease being so. He returned with two glasses of water, turned off the light, and rejoined me.

Curled up against him, on my side and with the comforter tucked around our waists, I was in total snuggle mode. And I was also . . . absolutely content. Although snuggling was completely foreign to me, everything about this felt right, like we’d been doing it for years. That feeling was a bit unnerving, but I didn’t shy away from it. I sort of wanted to roll around in it.

Tracing the thin line of hair underneath his navel, I smiled. “Thank you.”

“I feel like I should be thanking you, but I’m curious.” His fingers were dancing along my back and ribs. “Why are you thanking me?”

My smile grew. “For coming over. You didn’t have to do that. You could’ve waited. It was sweet.”

“I’m a sweet guy, but don’t tell anyone. I have a reputation to keep.”

I laughed softly. “It’ll be our secret.”

Nick turned so that my cheek was resting on his arm and we were facing each other. His hand drifted from my waist to my lower stomach. “Are you excited about the doctor’s appointment?”

In the darkness, I could make out just enough of the faint line of his features to tell he was smiling. “I am. I’m a little nervous, because I don’t know what to really expect,” I admitted.

His hand flattened along my stomach. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel real, does it?”

My heart tripped. “No. And that’s so crazy, huh?”

“Probably normal. I guess after we go to the doc, reality kicks in,” he said. “How’s your mom handling everything?”

I placed my hand over his, liking the feeling. “She’s really supportive. I’m lucky. Too bad she doesn’t live here, because I’m pretty sure we’d have a built-in babysitter.” I paused as a thousand questions about his family surfaced. Now was a good enough time, if any, to start asking. “You don’t talk about your family a lot. I remember you said your mom died. Can I ask how?”

Nick didn’t respond for a long moment, and I held my breath, waiting. If he really wanted to make something out of this, he was going to have to open up. So was I. This was an important moment between us, definitely more so than what we’d just shared.

“My mom died when I was a freshman in high school,” he said, and I let go of my breath. “She died of a broken heart. And yeah, I know how stupid that sounds, but after my father died, she just gave up.”

My chest squeezed. I’d figured his father wasn’t in the picture since Nick had said his family wasn’t around, but I hadn’t automatically assumed that he died. Curving my hand around his, I drew it away from my stomach and pressed it close to my chest, along with his.

“She barely ate,” he went on. “Didn’t take care of herself at all. Stopped going out and she basically just stopped everything. My grandfather—her father—tried to get her help, before he got sick. He got her into counseling, but she didn’t take any of the meds prescribed. She just didn’t care, couldn’t deal with living without Dad. It took years.” His hand tightened around mine. “I was at school. It was in the morning, and my grandfather had come to get me. After my dad died, we’d moved in with him. He’d gone out that morning to get groceries and came home and found her dead in bed.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

He lifted our joined hands and kissed the back of mine. Then he exhaled roughly. “I’m not sure you want to know about my father.”

“I do.”

Our hands lowered back to the place between our chests. Several moments passed before he spoke. “My father killed himself.”

My eyes widened in shock. I had not been expecting that. Not at all.

“My family hasn’t had the greatest luck, huh? My grandfather gets Alzheimer’s. Mom gives up, and my dad punched out his own card. ” He turned his head so that he was looking up at the ceiling. “My grandfather—Job—was a pretty successful businessman. So was his father. They got into the construction business around here a long time ago and they were good at it—great at it. Half the damn houses around here were built or worked on by them. When Mom met Dad and they got married, he started working for Job, and eventually Dad took over the business and things were good at first. I mean, I was just a kid back then, and I don’t remember a lot, but my parents were happy. We lived a good . . . life. That much I remember.”

“What happened?” I asked.

Nick’s chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “My father’s company was building this house while they were finishing up another. The place was pretty huge and even though Dad’s company was stretched pretty thin, he couldn’t walk away from the job and that type of money. The normal contractors he worked with were busy on the other home, so he hired a few new people. One of them was this electrician. Dad thought they were on the up and up. You know? I don’t think he believed he had any reason to doubt the work any of them were doing. He was wrong.”

His hand loosened, but I refused to let go. Another moment passed. “The electrician he hired disappeared after the house was finished. Which was common. People move around all the time. No big deal. Not at first.”

Instinct told me something really bad was coming and hearing it was going to be painful.

“Come to find out, the electrician cut corners. You’d be surprised how often that shit happens. Usually it doesn’t become a big thing, but his guy . . . he fucked up. The wiring was bad—real bad—and it caused the house to catch on fire.” Nick swallowed, and I could feel the tension building in him. “The family that had the home built were in that house when it went up in flames. Parents. Three kids. Two of the kids died in it.”

I closed my eyes. “Oh God . . .”

“Dad had insurance—liability insurance. Since the electrician wasn’t around, it fell on him. Not that it wouldn’t have anyway. It was his company that built that house. It was his responsibility to make sure everything was done correctly. The family sued. Rightfully. It wiped out everything except what my grandfather had. He was smart with money—with business. He separated the money he’d saved over the years from the company long before he handed it over to my dad, but it wasn’t the money that got to my dad. At least, I don’t think it was. Not from what I remember.” His voice thickened, became hoarse. “It killed him knowing he was responsible for that family, ate away at him. I do vaguely remember him sitting up at night, in the living room. Like he wasn’t even there. About a year and a half after the fire, he hung himself. Mom found him.”

“God.” I wiggled closer, pressing the length of my body against his. At once, a lot of Nick started to make sense. “I’m sorry. I know those two words are lame, but I’m so sorry.”

“Those words aren’t lame. They mean something.” He turned his head toward me. “There’s something else . . . and you’re probably going to think it’s weird.”

“Doubtful,” I promised.

“No. It’s pretty weird. Reece is one of a handful of people who know, and I know damn well he hasn’t even told Roxy. I don’t even know why I’m about to tell you this.”

Curiosity had a hold on me. I couldn’t understand what could be so weird that Reece would know and keep it to himself, even from Roxy. “Okay,” I said, searching out his gaze in the semidarkness. “Even if I think it’s weird, it doesn’t mean I’m going to kick you out of the bed.”

He shook his head. “Well, I hope not. It would be awkward considering we’re both naked.”

I smiled despite the conversation. “Tell me.”

He tugged on my hand a little. “You don’t know a lot about Calla, do you?”

My little old ears perked right up. I wasn’t a detective, but my mind immediately raced to what Roxy had said about Nick’s behavior around her and what I’d witnessed. “Not really. I just knew that she hung out with Teresa when I was at Shepherd.”

“But you’ve . . . you’ve noticed the scar on her face, right?”

I started to frown. “Yeah?”

Nick drew in another breath. “She got that scar in a fire. Windows blew out or something. Hit her in the face. She was one of the kids who lived in the house my dad had worked on. It was her brothers that died. And that’s not all. Her parents originally owned Mona’s.”

Seconds passed and I had no idea what to say. Shock roared through me. “Calla doesn’t know that?”

“No. And it probably wouldn’t have ever crossed her mind. My father’s last name was Novak, but when he died, my mother ended up taking back her maiden name—Blanco. And I’ve never told her. How in the fuck would I tell her? You know? When she first walked into the bar, my heart just about stopped. You see, no one ever expected her to come back here. After the fire, her father left and her mom ended up handling the bar herself, but she went downhill—got messed up on drugs and became a shit mother. She couldn’t deal with losing her little boys,” he said, staring at the ceiling once more. “I ended up running into Mona—that’s her mom—a few years ago. She knew who I was. Said I looked like my father. It was one of those rare moments when she wasn’t on something. Anyway, I was starting to take care of my grandfather, just out of college, and Mona knew what was going on with Job. She offered me a job. It was weird. I didn’t need the money. Not really. Job had more than enough to care for me to be able to care of him, but it was . . . a break. You know?”

“To get away? I get it.”

He nodded. “So I started working at Mona’s, before Jax came around, and then when he got there, he kind of took over. The whole situation around Mona and the bar is a mess, but I think in a way, working there for her, I was kind of . . .”

“Atoning for what had happened?” When he didn’t speak, I squeezed his hand. “Nick, you know none of what happened was your fault, right? And it sounds like even though your dad was legally responsible, he . . . he was a victim in this, too.”

“It took me a long time to realize that,” he said after a couple of moments. “I don’t even know why I had my head twisted up in that. I guess just young and dumb. Anyway, like I said, I didn’t expect to see Calla.”

“Do you think you’re ever going to tell her?”

“I don’t know. Probably would’ve made sense if I’d done it when she first showed up. Now it just seems weird.”