Текст книги "More Than This"
Автор книги: Jay McLean
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Текущая страница: 9 (всего у книги 16 страниц)
Chapter 24
*Mikayla*
It’s been a few weeks since we got back from the wedding. I work two days a week with Nathan and he pays me, like discussed.
Personally, I think he overpays me, but what can I do?
The summer days go quickly. Jake spends every morning working out and training, the afternoons are relaxed and lazy. I drive Julie around, as agreed, and we hang out with Jake's friends when we can.
Unless I’m at work, or he’s training, were always together.
We haven’t had any more ‘moments’ since the night we got home. I think we’re both just happy to be around each other. We haven’t talked about taking things further.
I don’t know about Jake, but I’m waiting to see how things go when we go to college. It might be completely different once we’re not around each other all the time.
“What are you doing?” he asks, stepping out onto the back patio.
“Looking online for apartments and jobs near campus.” I turn to face him.
He looks at me for a beat, before sitting in the chair opposite me.
“You can’t do student housing?”
“You have to pay for the year in advance, so no, I can’t. I’m hoping there are some cheap share houses nearby. And I’m hoping that whatever job I get will be enough to cover the rent. Plus, I gotta consider how close everything is to bus stops because I won’t have a car.”
There aren’t too many options out there, especially now, this close to the school year. I don’t tell Jake this because I know he’ll worry, and really, it’s not his problem, as much as he would like to make it his.
“What about you?” I ask. He hasn’t even mentioned where he’ll be staying.
He stares at me, an emotion I can’t decipher on his face. I try to hold his gaze but it’s so intense, I have to turn away.
Finally, “I haven’t decided yet, what I’m going to do.”
“Seriously, Jake? It’s like, around the corner, you better decide. There aren’t many options available.”
He smirks at me “Kayla, I’ll be fine. Me,” he points his thumb to himself, “I’m kind of a big deal. I’m sure whatever I decide they’ll make work.”
“Okay…”
The back door opens and Julie comes out.
We’re going to the mall today, I think she’s bored out of her brains. I can’t remember what summers were like when I was that age, depending on others to get me around.
I stand up to leave.
“Where are you guys going?” Jake asks, standing up too.
“Out!” Julie snaps, “And you, Jacaaaaarb, are not invited.”
“What? Why not?” He actually sounds annoyed.
I nudge Julie a little, “C’mon, Julie. He won’t take no for an answer, just let him tag along. Please?”
Honestly, I just want an excuse to spend time with him.
“Fine! I’ll be waiting in the car. Don’t take too long.” She pivots and walks away.
“Jesus christ,” Jake huffs, adjusting his cap. “What’s her problem?”
I shrug.
*Jake*
The Mall. Yaye. #sarcasm.
Julie’s been in a mood since we left the house. I don’t know what her deal is but she better snap out of it because her little brat attitude is pissing me off.
Kayla’s over at one of those skill tester machines, trying to cheer her up by winning something for her. She doesn’t win, and now Julie is standing there kicking the shit out of it.
What the hell?
I walk over to her, pick her up and face her the other way.
“What the hell is going on, Ju-ju?”
“Shut up, Jake. Don’t call me that! That’s a babies name and I’m not a baby!”
Hell.
I role my eyes. “Okay, Julie. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”
“You! You are what’s going on. You are not supposed to be here. This was supposed to be my day with Kayla, and you ruined it!”
Kayla’s eyes go big and she bends down to Julie's level and speaks to her softy, I don’t hear what she says.
“Give us a minute?” Kayla asks me.
Shit, if this is Julie now, I’m glad I won’t be home for the teenage years.
“Have all the minutes you want.” I walk away shaking my head.
***
As I wait for them to talk, a few girls from school walk past and wave, I nod back. Then a realize they’re Casey's friends and my eyes dart around like a maniac looking for her. If she’s here, I’m getting the fuck out.
Luckily, Kayla and Julie walk up just before I have a panic attack. That Casey bitch is legit no joke.
Kayla stands next to me and takes my hand. I love it when she does this shit in public. It’s like an unspoken agreement, that I’m hers and she’s mine, and even though we haven’t done shit since that night a couple weeks back, nothing’s changed.
“Julie has something she would like to say to you.”
Julie steps in front of me and crooks her finger so I bend down to listen to her. “I’m sorry,” she whispers, before putting her arms around me.
Thank god she’s back to normal, another crisis averted, thanks to Kayla.
***
We walk around the mall, Julie walking in front of us.
“So what’s the deal with her?” I ask Kayla, pulling her hand to my mouth and kissing it quickly.
Because seriously, I can’t seem to keep my hands and lips off her and if we can’t be intimate in the way I want, the way my dick wants, then I’ll take whatever the hell I can get.
“She’s just growing up. She wanted to come today and spend some girl time. She thinks she needs a training bra and wants to start wearing make up,” she giggles.
“WHAT?” I yell. Kayla nudges me and tells me to shut up. Julie turns around and eyes us suspiciously, but keeps walking when I fake smile at her.
“She’s fricken 8 years old, Kayla!”
“I know, asshole. I’m just going to amuse her, trust me okay?”
“Fine. But my 8 year old sister better not end the day looking like a whore.”
“Oh my god,” Kayla laughs out loud. “I can’t believe you just said 8 year old sister and whore in the same sentence”
“Shut up, I’m not kidding.”
***
We walk around for a bit before Julie decides to walk into a store. I’m not paying attention until were inside and I’m surrounded by lingerie.
“What the f-"
I get cut off by a hand covering my mouth.
“Shut up, Jake.” Kayla whispers loudly. “Just amuse her, please?”
“Fine, but I’m waiting outside”
Half a fucking hour later, they come out.
Julie has a tiny bag with some Disney princesses on it. Okay, so the store must cater for girls her age. Kayla has a bigger bag, a nice paper one with a ribbon tied on top. I stand up and walk to her, trying to take the bag from her hands so I can see what she bought.
She swats my hand away.
“What?” I ask, feigning innocence.
She rolls her eyes. “You can’t look.”
“Why?” I ask, a little pissed off for no good reason. “Who’s it for, Kayla? Who’s gonna see it?”
“Jake…” She stops walking and holds my hand tighter so I stop with her. Julie walks a little ways from us. “It’s for you…” she whispers. “Not for anyone but you. But, I didn’t want you looking at it while Julie was there.”
I look at her confused.
“It’s not suitable for girls her age.”
Still looking at her confused.
“It’s just, it’s too mature?… Sexy?…” she shrugs.
My eyes widen and a smile pulls at my lips.
“You’re an ass,” she says, swatting my shoulder and walking away. I walk up to her and take her hand. “I can’t wait!” I whisper in her ear and she laughs.
***
After we eat lunch, Julie says she’s too tired to walk. Kayla offers to carry her on her back as a joke, but she does it anyway. It’s pretty damn cute, watching my two girls.
“Kayla, you get on Jake's back now!” Julie yells through a laugh.
“I don’t think so, sweetie. I think we’d break his back.”
“No way, Jake's like, the strongest man that ever lived. Do it, Jake!”
“You have to pay your ticket to get on the ride,” I say to Julie, a stupid thing we used to do when we were kids. I stand next to her and she gives me a kiss on the cheek.
“Now your entrance fee, little lady,” I say to Kayla, putting my face in front of hers.
She straightens up, spins my cap backwards and kisses me, on the lips, just once, softly, and quickly. So quick I didn’t even register what was happening until it was done. She smiles a small smile, a little blush creeping on her face, then jumps on my back.
It’s the first time since the limo ride, that first night, that our lips have touched. In the couple of times we’ve fooled around, we’ve never kissed. And even though this kiss was the furthest thing from being sexual, it was still intimate, and purposeful. Like, she knew it would mean something. And it does. It means everything.
We only walk a few feet before I hear my name being called. I turn to find Aunt Jenna and Uncle Jim.
I slowly let go of Kayla and Julie and wait for them to walk over to us.
Julie gives them both a hug, I kiss aunt Jenna and shake hands with uncle Jim.
Jenna steps back and sees Kayla.
I take Kayla’s hand in mine.
Jenna notices and a huge smile appears.
“Aunt Jenna, Uncle Jim, this is Mikayla.” I make the introductions.
“Oh!” Aunt Jenna's eyes widen slightly. “Oh, Mikayla, Nathan’s told me so much about you.” Then to me she says, “I didn’t know, I mean I didn’t realize she was your-"
I feel Kayla tense next to me and interrupt my Aunt. “Yeah, she’s mine.” I smile looking at Kayla. “My Mikayla. Just my Mikayla.” I know I’ve said the right thing, because she beams up at me. She holds onto my arm and quietly says, “It’s a pleasure to meet you both”.
“These are the Aunt and Uncle I stayed with when I first came back. Uncle Jim here is the reason I have so many offers on the table.”
Uncle Jim laughs, shaking his head, “Jesus, kid. You got a big head.”
I laugh back. “I’m kind of a big deal, didn’t you know?”
Kayla laughs next to me. Fuck, I love hearing her laugh.
After the small talk is over, we say our goodbyes to them.
I’m so ready get the fuck out of this place.
As were heading out the exit, Julie gasps, “I have to go to the pharmacy, I need tampons!”
I tense, and Kayla kisses my cheek, ”Just amuse her,” she says before taking Julie's hand and leading her to the pharmacy.
***
I haven’t been able to get the sexy underwear out of my mind.
It’s close to midnight and it’s all I can think about. As soon as we got home, Kayla holed herself up in her room. She didn’t even come down for dinner, said she had job applications to fill out and a bunch of research to do.
Before I know it, I’m climbing out my window and knocking on hers. She opens the curtains after a few seconds and lifts the window. I climb in and sit on her bed.
She stays in front of the window.
“What’s up, Jake?” It’s dark in the room so I can’t see her face.
“Nothing, just thinking… about you.”
“Oh.” She hasn’t moved from her spot.
She’s as far from me as physically possible.
“Whats up?” I ask her. Something is definitely wrong, she hasn’t been the same since we left the mall. “Did something happen?”
“No, why would you say that?”
“Well, normally when I’m around you’re always right next to me, if not on me… now you’re all the way over there.” I try to sound concerned but it comes out sounding more pissed off than anything.
“Jesus Christ, Jake. Sorry I’m not jumping your bones 24/7. Shit,” she all but yells.
Something is definitely up and I have no fucking clue what’s going on.
I try to calm down before I open my mouth again, because if I keep talking I’ll say something stupid.
I really don’t want to do that.
“Kayla, if something’s going on, you’d tell me right?” I move to switch on the lamp on her nightstand so I can see her face.
Her cheeks are all red, her nose is running, her eyes bloodshot.
She’s been crying.
Before I can stand up, she saunters over to me.
She stops right in front and stands in between my legs, placing her arms around my neck. My arms instinctively go around her waist. I look up at her face.
“I’m okay, Jake. I’ve just had a bad day. I promise. I’m sorry.”
I drop my head to her stomach.
I kind of feel like a dick.
I wish I knew how to help her.
“You want me to stay with you tonight? I’ll climb back in early, not that anyone would really give a shit.”
She shakes her head no.
Something is definitely up.
I leave her alone in her room and hope that tomorrow will be a better day for her.
Chapter 25
*Mikayla*
“Micky!”
I drop what I’m holding. It falls to the floor.
I look up to see Logan walking towards me.
He stops in front of me, eyeing me.
He looks at my face, then to the floor, then to the shelf I’m standing next to. Down to the floor again and finally, settling back on my face.
All this happens in about two seconds.
To me, it feels like years.
From the moment I heard my name being called, a thousand emotions overcame me. Panic, regret, sadness, confusion, humiliation, anger and disappointment.
The biggest one though, was fear.
I was shit scared.
Logan picks up what I dropped and stares at it for a second, a minute, a hundred fucking years. It doesn’t matter.
It will still be a pregnancy test.
By the time he puts the item back on the shelf, tears have formed in my eyes, a sob escapes me and I fold over myself.
He wraps me in his arms and leads me outside, whispering comforting words.
He opens the door of his car for me and I get in.
Once he’s settled in the drivers seat, he puts the key in the ignition, but doesn’t make a move to start it.
Moments of silence pass.
Then he faces me, “You’re pregnant?”
“I don’t know.” It’s barely a whisper.
“So you haven’t taken the test yet?”
“No.” I start to cry. “Please, Logan. You can’t tell anybody about this. No one. Especially Jake, please.”
“Mikayla, I wouldn’t. It’s not my story to tell.” He tries to smile but it doesn’t follow through.
The car is quiet apart from my sobs.
“My dad’s a doctor, I can take you to him, just to be sure. It’s all confidential. It’s the law or some shit. No-one will know. I promise”
I nod my head once and look out the window, as he starts the car and reverses out of the spot.
***
I didn’t even think about it, not for a second. Until we were at the pharmacy yesterday and Julie was asking me about the different tampon options. How could I be so stupid? I was two weeks late and I didn’t even notice. James and I were actively active the weeks leading up to ‘prom night’. I was on the pill and I was meticulous about it. Nothing scared me more than the thought of being a teen mom. The pill is only 99% accurate. Fuck. What the fuck am I going to do.
***
Dr. Matthews is the complete opposite of Logan. He’s gentle and soft spoken, with a tiny build, slight combover and glasses.
Apparently he’s heard from Logan about the situation with my family, I see the sympathy in his eyes, and I know it’s genuine.
One urine sample and a few tests later, and I’m actually able to breath again.
They took a blood test just to triple check, but all signs point to negative.
Apparently, my body just kind of flaked out on me.
Dr. Matthews says skipping cycles or being late is common when the body is under a lot of stress or trauma.
Thank. Fuck.
Once I’ve thanked Dr. Matthews, we get back in Logan's car. It’s then I realize how long I’ve been gone and I need to pick up Julie from her friends house. Her friend is on the other side of town from where I left the car so Logan offers to pick her up, then drive back to collect Mandy’s car.
“Thanks so much for this, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it. I would normally have Megan in times like this. It’s just…” I trail off.
“You spoken to her yet?”
“Nope, not a single word.”
***
Turns out Logan's house is around the corner from Julie's friend, so he’s going to stop by to pick up his gear. He has plans to meet Jake at the cages soon.
“Hey Julie?” Logan says, eyeing her through the rear view mirror of his Mercedes convertible, top down. “Knock Knock?”
Julie giggles. “Who’s there?”
“Wooden”
“Wooden who?”
“Wooden you like to know”
Julie cracks up. It’s one of those jokes that’s so dumb it’s hilarious. Like, ‘why did the kid fall off the swing? Because he had no arms!’
We’re all laughing like idiots when we pull into Logan's driveway, a familiar truck is already there.
I look to Logan wide eyed.
His hands go up in surrender. “I didn’t say a word. Swear it.”
We look to the truck and see Jake step out.
His fists balled at his side.
Jaw tense.
Eyes filled with rage.
He’s pissed.
Beyond pissed.
“You girls stay here, okay?” Logan says, before hopping out of the car.
***
*Jake*
I’m sitting in my truck about to text Kayla to meet me at the cages, I miss the shit out of her.
I hear a car pull up and people laughing, I turn to look and see Logan, Kayla and Julie.
What in the actual fuck.
I hop out of the truck, and it takes everything I have to not run up to this asshole and punch him. I could give a shit about my hand. It’s the last fucking thing I care about.
Logan’s walking closer to me, hands up in surrender. “What ever the fuck you’re thinking right now, Quit. It’s not what you think, not even fucking close.”
“Then fucking start talking, asshole.” I shove him hard on the chest and he falls back a few steps.
I hear Julie squeal in the car, but I don’t give a shit.
“Explain to me why the fuck you’re playing family with my girl and my sister?”
“I can’t,” he says, shaking his head and looking down.
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t?” I’m in his face now, bending down so he’ll look me in the eye when he tells me he’s been screwing the girl I’m in love with.
In love with. Shit.
“I can’t dude, it’s not for me to say.”
“What the fuck does that even mean?”
I push him again, harder this time.
“Quit fucking pushing me asshole! I’m two seconds from pushing the fuck back.”
Rage consumes me. I’m so fucking pissed I don’t even know what to think. How the fuck can they do this to me? And around Julie?
“Julie, wait!” I hear Kayla yell, and see Julie running out of the car and onto the street. She doesn’t look before she runs and a car breaks last minute, almost hitting her straight on. She screams as Kayla runs over to her and picks her up in her arms.
“Get in the fucking truck, NOW!” I yell at them.
Julie sobs harder. Kayla carries her over to the truck.
“Quit yelling at her, she’s scared.” Kayla yells back.
“I don’t give a shit, just get her in the goddamn truck!” I scream at them.
“NO!” Julie squeals. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you, you’re an asshole.”
She’s never spoken to me like this before, but I’ve never acted this way in front of her. In fact, I’ve never acted this way at all.
I breath in and out a few times, eyes closed, trying to calm down. When I open them, I see Kayla crying, holding Julie in her arms, whispering soothing words in her ear.
“I’m sorry, Ju-ju. Just please get in the truck.”
“We get it, we’re going,” Kayla says.
She looks to Logan for a second and tries to convey a message through her eyes.
What the fuck ever.
I’m done with this shit.
Chapter 26
*Jake*
Julie cries the whole way home, it’s the only sound in the truck the entire ride.
When we get home, Kayla has to carry Julie into the house and up to her room.
I go to my room and slam the door shut. It slams so hard, frames in the hallway fall and hit the floor.
I hear Mom at the bottom of the stairs, “What the hell…?”
Minutes pass before my bedroom door opens, something flies in the air and hits me square in the head. I pick it up. It’s Kayla’s phone.
I look up at her. “You better call your best friend and apologize for being an asshole, then you better go see Julie and start making it up to her big time because that little girl is a mess, and you’re the asshole that did that to her.”
She’s fuming. I’ve never seen her this angry, not even when she caught James and Megan. Fuck.
She turns to leave, but I jump up off my bed and run to her, grabbing her arm, forcing her to turn around.
“WHAT?!” she growls out.
“What the fuck is going on?!”
“What the fuck do you think is going on, Jake?”
“You tell me, you were the one playing happy little family with my sister. Having a good old laugh together? What were you doing? Talking about how stupid I was… Stupid Jake, has no idea what you guys are up to!”
“That’s what you think? That we we’re fucking behind your back?”
“That’s what it fucking looks like to me!”
“He’s your best friend, Jake! There’s no wa-"
“So fucking what! Megan was your best friend!”
Her face falls instantly.
Tears immediately pool in her eyes, she’s quick to wipe them away.
“Call Logan,” she says, before turning and walking away from me.
***
*Mikayla*
I ended up having to Facebook message Lucy to pick me up and drive me back to the mall to get Mandy’s car. She didn’t ask questions. I didn’t tell her anything.
When I get back to the house, I hear Jake and Julie in the back yard. When I look through the gate, I see her holding a baseball bat and him pitching balls slowly at her, encouraging her while she laughs.
He’s trying to make up for it.
Good. He should. He’s an asshole.
***
I’m laying in bed when I hear tapping on my window.
I get up and lift it open without saying a word and get back into bed.
Once I’m in bed and under the covers, I feel the bed dip next to me and hear him place something on my nightstand. My phone.
“I called Logan.”
“Good.”
“He didn’t tell me anything though.”
“Good.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Have you quit being an asshole?”
“Yes.” He tries to get me to flip over so I can look at him. When I do he rests one hand on my leg and moves the hair out of my eyes with the other.
“I’m sorry, Kayla… for what I said about Megan, and the way I acted. I don’t know what got over me. The thought of you and Logan, of anyone else… it just-"
“Jake, stop.” I sit up so I can see him properly. “Logan saw me buying a pregnancy test and-" Jake's eyes bug out for a second before I assure him. “I’m not.” I wave my hands in the air. “I just thought I was. I was late, and I was buying the tests, he saw me, I panicked. He took me to see his dad, he confirmed I wasn’t. I had to pick up Julie from her friends, and he took me to get her because Mandy’s car was still at the mall, Julie's friend lived a street over from his house, so he drove home to pick up his gear before he was going to drop us back off to the car. That’s where you come in and act like an asshole, asshole.”
He’s silent. I continue.
“He was going to meet you at the cages after he dropped us off. He was just there for me, that’s all.” I pause for a minute. “Wait, he didn’t tell you?”
Jake’s shaking his head, taking it all in. “He said it wasn’t his story to tell and if I wanted to know I had to hear it from you.” He blows out a breath, puffing out his cheeks with the force of it. “Fuck, Kayla. I really am an asshole. I was a dick to him and to you. And Julie, shit, I scared the shit out of her. Why didn’t you tell me? Was that what last night was about?”
“Yeah, I didn’t think about it until I was at the pharmacy with Julie, and then I wigged out and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to be sure first. I didn’t know what I was going to do if… you know.”
“So you’re not. For sure? Like 100%?”
“Yeah, Jake.” I nod my head. “I’m sure.”
He breaths out a heavy sigh and we sit in silence for a long time.
“Can I stay with you tonight… please, Kayla?” It’s barely a whisper.
I scoot across the bed and lift the covers. He takes his shirt off and gets in. We face each other. Holding on, not wanting to let go, not even for a second.
We’re looking so intently into each others eyes, trying to see into each others souls.
Talking without speaking.
Feeling without touching.
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s just you. It’s only ever been just you. It will always only ever be just you.”
And then he kisses me. A quick kiss on the lips. But it has the passion of a thousand kisses, and holds the power of a thousand promises.
“So much more than a lot,” he says, before we fall asleep, the best way we can, in each others arms.
