Текст книги "More Than Her"

Автор книги: Jay McLean

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FOUR

-Past-

The assist.

Start of summer, pre College

A week had passed since I'd met her at Jakes house, but she still lingered on my mind. I'd forgotten that she went to Micky's school, so I didn't expect to see her at their graduation. But I was so fucking glad that I did.

***

She stood on the sidewalk across from me talking to another girl, both of them wearing their gowns. I crossed the road and stood behind her. Whatever her friend was saying died in the air when she saw me.

"What is it?" Amanda asked her.

I interrupted. "Well, well. I bet you never thought you'd see me again?"

She slowly turned around; a scowl had already formed on her face. "What do you want, Matthews?"

I chuckled.

Her eye twitched.

It made me laugh harder. "I don't know why you're pissed at me," I said, trying to hide my amusement. "I'm just standing here, asking you question. It's not a big deal." I shrugged, my hands going in my pockets.

She raised her eyebrows, waiting for me to answer her.

So I did. "Your number. For real this time."

"No. Again. For real this time."

The fact that she didn't want me made me want her more. Just when I about to tell her that I wasn't going to take no for an answer, a piece of shit old jeep pulled up beside us. The kid driving had the top down, with two other guys in the back seat. They all wore their gowns.

"Hey," Amanda's friend cooed.

The kid driving gave her a quick head nod before he looked at me, eyes narrowed. He didn't say shit, just glared.

I glared back.

"I'll call you later," Amanda said to her friend, hugging her quickly before brushing past me and into the front seat of the car. I watched as they drove off. She never once looked back.

"So you want her number?" her friend asked.

I turned back to face her, rubbing my palm on my jaw. I eyed her up and down, confused. "Why?" I asked. "You gonna to give it to me?"

"I'm Alexis, just FYI. And yes, I am." Her hand was out waiting. I handed her my phone.

"And her boyfriend?" I jerked my head to the spot where the car had just left.

She looked up at me, mid type. "Not her boyfriend."

She handed it back and I made sure it was in there this time, and she wasn't just fucking with me like Amanda did.

I thanked her before walking to my car. Once I was seated, I pulled out my phone and texted her;

Logan: So, I'm thinking dinner for our first date. Any requests?

Amanda: Fucking Alexis.

FIVE

-Present-

"Come to the house," Jake said after practice. "We'll grab a few beers and order a pizza." He ran his hands through his hair. "The only thing is—we kind of have to eat out back."

"What?" I laughed.

"Yeah. The girls have book club or something. They hate when I'm around."

I raise my eyebrows in disbelief.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, asshole. I'm still allowed to be home. Just not...inside the house."

"You're so—wait. Did you say book club?"

He nodded, eyebrows bunched in confusion.

I feigned disinterest. "So uh—who attends this so called book club?"

"Just Kayla, Luce and their friend Amanda."

I ignored the pounding in my chest. "Hey, when she's done whipping you, do you have to carry it back to its place with your mouth?"

"Fuck off."

***

She was all I could think about the entire drive to his house.

When we got there, the girls were all sitting around the coffee table, e-readers in hands.

There were glasses of wine or champagne, or whatever it is chick's drink, on the coffee table, along with some boxes of tissues and a bag of chocolates.

Their heads all whipped up when they heard us walk in.

Jake went to Micky, kissed her on the cheek, and then headed to his room.

They all went back to reading, like I wasn't even here. Amanda glanced up, but looked straight back down when she saw it was me.

No smile. No frown. Nothing.

I went to sit on the sofa while I waited for Jake. "So... what are you guys doing?"

"Hoovering," Micky said through a sob.

I looked around.

They were sitting on their asses, not a single cleaning product in sight.

I must have misheard them. "What?" I asked again.

"Hoovering," Lucy replied, wiping at her face.

What the hell was going on? My eyebrows bunched together in confusion. Their eyes were red and puffy from crying.

And then it hit me—what was wrong with them all.

"You guys want me to get you like, ice cream or more chocolate...something for your cramps?" I asked cautiously.

"What?" Micky chuckled, still not looking up from her book.

"You guys have that thing—you know—when girls are together all the time and they get their periods at the same time or some shit."

"Naw, Logan. I live you." Lucy smiled at me, then went back to reading, "Now go away!"

Amanda hadn't looked up once since I sat down. Her eyes were glued to her book.

I was bored, and wanted to be an asshole, so I got comfortable on the sofa. "So, did you guys hear about that Lit. Professor and his student?"

"Shh!" Both Micky and Lucy snapped.

I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped. Then continued to be an asshole. "Apparently they'd be doing it for a whi-"

"SHUT UP!" Lucy yelled, coming to a stand. Her face was red, jaw clenched. "Go away!" She started swatting my head and shoulders with her hands. I tried ducking and blocking her hits but she was too quick. "You. Are. Ruining DEAN HOLDER!" Her voice got louder with every word.

She pulled me by my hands until I was on my feet, turned me to face the front door, put her hands on my back and started pushing me towards it.

I tried digging my feet into the floor but the girl had some power.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started dialing Cam. By the time the phone was to my ear, she'd pushed me out the front door, slamming it shut behind me.

"Yo," Cam answered.

"Dude, your girlfriend's fucking bat-shit crazy."

"What?" He sounded pissed.

I was about to tell him what happened when he chuckled. "Dude, it is Tuesday... and they are Hoovering."

What the hell does that even mean?

***

Cam ended up coming over, putting an end to the girl's book club. Heidi and Dylan joined us and we made a night of it.

Amanda hadn't said shit to me, or even glanced in my direction. She wasn't openly avoiding me, but I could definitely tell it was an effort for her. I tried to subtly watch her, but her eyes were glued to her phone.

When the pizza arrived, we all move to the back deck.

"We should all do something for spring break," Heidi said.

Everyone made a sound of agreement through mouthfuls of food.

"We should go to Mexico!" I said. Dylan nodded his head, fist bumping me. His mouth was too full to speak.

"NO!" Lucy gasped, her head shaking frantically. "Nu-uh! Not Mexico!"

All eyes were on her.

Cam swallowed his food, and then spoke through a smile. "Lucy here..." he pointed his thumb at her, "...thinks that if she goes to Mexico, they'll kidnap her and sell her as a sex slave."

We all laughed.

She still had that panicked look on her face. "It's not funny you guys, it happens."

"Lucy, we read that book three months ago. Get it out of your head." Micky said through a laugh. She was sitting sideways on Jake's lap while his arm rested on her legs.

"No," Lucy defended. "It's true. It happens all the time."

"Lucy," Amanda said. It was the first time she'd spoken since I got here. "I'm pretty sure you have to be virgin to be sold as a sex slave. And you—most definitely are not a virgin!"

Everyone cracked up.

"Yeah, she's not!" Cam high-fived Amanda.

Lucy's face turned to shock, but only for a second before she looked down at the floor, smiling to herself.

"You got family there right?" Cam asked Amanda.

How does he know that?

"Yeah. You guys would be welcome to stay there. They love having guests."

"You'd obviously be coming with us."

Obviously? What the actual fuck is going on? How long has Amanda been living here? And how the hell has she managed to get to know my friends without me knowing it?

"Maybe." She shrugged. "But if not, you guys could definitely stay there. Just let me know." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and excused herself, walking back into the house.

I watched her every move.

A few minutes later, she came back, but stood at the back door. "I gotta go. E's coming to get me."

"No. Don't leave yet." Micky was on her feet. "We wouldn't have even finished book club yet. Why are you going so soon?"

"Logan can give you a ride later," Lucy chimed in. I could hear her smiling; she was so damn obvious.

"Yeah. For sure. I'll give you a ride. No problem," I rushed out.

Smooth.

Then I just stared, waiting for her to say something. She never even looked in my direction.

"It's fine. He's on his way already." She waved to everyone before quickly making her way into the house and out the front door.

***

I was in the kitchen, throwing away some beer bottles, when Cam came in. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, smug smile on his face. "So...Amanda..." he trailed off, expecting me to finish his sentence.

I didn't look at him. I didn't say shit.

"You know, when I first saw her with Lucy, she looked kind of familiar. But I couldn't place her. But now—I think I remember her—she's that girl from the diner right?"

I froze mid movement and glared at him.

"It is!" He looked like he'd just won a prize. "Did you end up taking her out? What ever happened with her?"

I sighed, thinking about what to tell him. "Nothing, dude. Nothing happened." Lie.

SIX

-Past-

The reinforcements.

Start of summer, pre College

I met up with Cameron at Lucy's house. He'd been watching her brothers and wanted to take them out of the house for a bit. "Let's meet up at that diner on Maine, you know the one with the fifties theme or whatever."

I agreed.

Lucy had six brothers, which meant they had to take two cars almost everywhere.

"What are high school bitches like?" the kid in the front seat asked as we followed behind Cameron.

"Who cares," a kid in the back cut in. "Bitches ain't shit but ho's and tricks."

"Whoa!" I turned to the back seat. I eyed the kid; he couldn't be more than eight. "Which one are you?"

"Logan," he said.

I tried to joke with him, "What? No way, but I'm Logan!"

He rolled his eyes. "I know, asshole." Kid had a potty mouth.

"Where did you learn to speak like that?"

He shrugged, stuck his middle finger up at me, poked out his tongue, and then continued to look out the window.

Um...okay.

***

By the time we get into the diner, Cam had pulled three tables together and was settling the kids in their seats.

It took a good twenty minutes for everyone to order, and another thirty for our food to arrive. Within two minutes, shit was all over the place. Fries, nuggets, ketchup, sodas – everything, everywhere. Cam ate with one hand, the other too busy cleaning a kid, or wiping the table, stopping something from spilling, or picking something up off the floor.

"Great, you're here," our waitress rushed towards the door, already taking her apron off. "You have that table of eight. Good luck with that clean up."

"Thanks. Have a good day." I recognized that voice, and my head whipped to its owner.

Amanda.

She looked hot as hell in her uniform, which matched the theme of the diner. The skirt flowed outwards, but the top half was tight, showing of her killer tits and tiny waist.

I finally managed to peel my eyes off her and faced forward.

I'd spent the last week trying to call her. She never picked up. I tried texting. She never replied.

I smiled to myself. She couldn't ignore me anymore. Not when I was right fucking there.

"What's going on?" Cam pulled me from my thoughts. His eyes must've followed mine. They were focused on the front door, where I assume Amanda was still standing. "You know her?"

"Nope," I said, popping the 'p'.

"But you want to don't you?"

"Challenge accepted, Cameron."

"Dude, I didn't-"

"Challenge accepted!" I interrupted.

He laughed.

I felt her presence before I heard her voice. "Can I get you boys anything?"

Her eyes circled the table, and then landed on mine. Her face fell. My heart rate spiked. "Hey pretty girl." I faked cockiness.

"Matthews," she greeted. "Didn't know you'd taken up stalking."

Cam stifled a laugh as he watched this play out. He leaned back in his chair, waiting for the moment of rejection. But I wouldn't accept it.

"I'm not stalking you, babe. Swear it. It's like fate brought me here."

She walked away.

One of the older boys gagged and rolled his eyes.

Valid.

"What's the plan of attack?" Cam wore a shit-eating grin.

"Who cares," little Logan huffed. "Money over bitches...am I right?" His hand was up in the air, waiting for one of us to high five him. We didn't.

I searched the table for the youngest kid.

"You." I pointed. "What's your name?"

"I'm four," he said.

"Buddy," Cam spoke, "he asked what your name is, not how old you are."

"Oh. I'm Lachlan."

I smiled at him. "Okay, Lachlan. Want to earn a quick twenty bucks?" I asked him. He nodded his head enthusiastically, eyes big, a huge baby teeth smile on show.

He walked over to Amanda who was at the counter, returning a tray. He pulled at her skirt, making her look down at him, and then he put on the biggest pout I'd ever seen.

"I'm sad," he said.

She gazed over at me for a quick moment, and then looked back down at Lachlan. She bent so she was at eye level with him. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Is everything okay?"

He shook his head no. "I'm sad because you won't go out with my uncle Logan."

I didn't ask him to throw the uncle part in, but I was impressed.

She stood to full height and looked down at him, "I'm sorry, I can't go out with your uncle Logan."

"Okay then," he stated, shrugging his shoulders dramatically. He didn't move from her side though, just stood there. She went back to what she was doing, and he still didn't move.

She got called over to a table and as she left, Lachlan followed, gripping onto her skirt. She turned quickly when she felt him tugging at her. She looked down at him, confused, then continued to walk and he continued to follow, holding onto her skirt.

He followed her around like a puppy, still holding onto her, for a good five minutes. The entire time we sat and watched in silence, waiting for her to break.

When she finally did, she picked him and carried him over to the table. She stood him up on his chair and made sure he was looking at her. "You can tell your uncle Logan that I will go on one date with him. Only one. And I can leave whenever I want. You can also tell him that I'm busy for the next week so don't bother calling or texting until a week from now, got it?"

"Twenty bucks." He held his hand out, palm up, in front of me.

I stood up, took my wallet out, pulled out a twenty and handed it to him.

Amanda's jaw hit the floor. She turned to walk away. I held on to her arm gently, and then leaned in close. I heard her breath catch. My hand went to her waist. I think she stopped breathing. My heart stopped beating. "One week," I managed to say. "I can wait a week."

SEVEN

-Present-

"Fuck!" I hit the steering wheel and rolled my head against the headrest.

I had just left Jake and Micky's and was parked in front of the frat house. I couldn't get Amanda out of my head.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and pulled up her number. It wasn't the first time I'd wanted to call her.

I was about to hit call, when the front door of the house burst open, then slammed shut. Four of my frat brothers rushed out. Jackson was at the front of the pack, heading straight towards me, face red, fists balled. He was pissed. The others started talking shit, trying to calm him down.

"Dude!" Jackson yelled, finger pointed at me. "You slept with my fucking sister!"

Shit.

Not again.

***

I'd been packing to go home for the weekend to catch up on some studying, but mainly because Nathan, Jake's dad, had been blowing up my phone, which meant that something important was—or was about to—go down.

Dad had called and we'd spoken briefly, but he didn't know what was happening either. It was different now than it was when I was younger, because now I was an adult. And even though Nathan worked with kids mostly, he made an exception for me. Nathan didn't want to discuss whatever it was over the phone, so we'd made plans for me to go to his house and talk there. Jake wouldn't be at his parent's this weekend, in fact, he was having a few people over before the season started.

At least, that was the plan, until Nathan called. He had to fly out to an emergency job, so whatever it was he had to tell me could wait. He said it wasn't urgent in a time sensitive manner, just a need-to-know kind of thing. Whatever it was, I honestly didn't really care. It could only be about them. And I stopped giving a shit about them a long time ago.

***

So now I was at Jake and Micky's party, buzzed, up against a wall, with some girl's mouth on my neck. Go to any college party and it's the same scene. Only here, it was a little toned down, because these guys were almost pro athletes.

So. This girl on my neck was doing some crazy shit. It was definitely having the opposite effect of what she was intending, but I didn't care enough to pull her off. My attention was on my phone, trying to match up these three colored pieces of fucking candy. It felt like I was trying to work out the next move forever. I chuckled to myself, causing uh, Cindy? Britney? Tiffany? Oops. Anyway, she pulled back a little, her bright red lipstick smeared around her mouth.

"What's funny?" she asked with that high-pitched baby voice that I hated.

I shook my head, switching the screen off and placing it back in my pocket.

When I brought my eyes back up, I saw her.

Amanda.

She glared at me, mouth partially open, looking hotter than I'd ever seen her.

Stomach. Floor.

EIGHT

*Amanda*

Logan. Fucking. Matthews.

I hate him.

I hate his stupid smug ass of a face and that perfectly messy brown hair.

I hate those stupid green eyes and those perfect teeth, and that hot as fuck panty-dropping smile.

I hate his stupid deep dimples that show whenever he smirks from being an asshole—which is all the fucking time.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.

I hate him so fucking much, I want to push him up against the wall and punch him in the face.

And then I want to lick it.

Then rip his fucking shirt off and finger his abs while he does that annoyingly manly chuckle that I love.

I hate him.

Stupid Fucking Logan Fucking Matthews.

Shit. I'm drunk.

And I've turned into Lucy.

NINE

-Present-

Logan

She turned to leave and instantly I was moving what's-her-face out of the way so I could get to her. I caught up and pulled her by her arm, into the hallway and into the spare room, closing the door behind her.

She leaned against it, her eyes wide.

I moved so I was in front of her. I took her in from head to toe. "Holy shit, you look good."

She stayed silent.

I stepped closer. So close our chests were touching. I could hear her breathing heavily, her boobs rose and fell with each breath.

Our eyes locked. Our breathing got faster, heavier. I could feel my dick growing and I hadn't even touched her. She closed her eyes and licked her lips and that was the fucking turning point. My mouth was on hers so fast; she didn't have time to react.

At first it was quick and messy, because I wanted to fucking devour her. But then I calmed myself down enough to realize that she was kissing back.

She was fucking kissing me back.

So I deepened the kiss. My tongue came out, asking for permission. She opened her mouth for me. And instantly my mind filled with memories of when we did this last.

She made a moaning sound, as our tongues came together and I moved closer, pushing myself into her.

We kissed for a few more minutes, not saying a word. Each second that went by—I felt myself losing control with this girl. I had no idea what she was thinking, or how she was feeling, or why she was even letting me have this. But I didn't care.

Because I wanted her.

So. Fucking. Bad.

She clutched my hair with both her hands and moved me to her neck. I resumed my kissing there. I could hear her trying to catch her breath. One of my hands moved to her thigh, creeping up and under the hem of her short dress, and onto her ass. Her amazing fucking ass; barely covered with whatever panties she was wearing.

"Holy shit," she whispered, bringing my mouth back to hers. Her legs went around my waist.

I pinned her to the wall.

Fuck. Yes.

Amanda

Oh. My. God.

What the fuck is happening right now?

He had me up against the wall pushing in all the right ways. My legs were wrapped around him while my hips jerked towards his. I was two-seconds away from losing it. His mouth moved from my lips, down my jaw, and onto my neck. I inhaled deeply a few times, trying to calm myself down, but his mouth kept moving lower, and his dick kept grinding harder. Then his mouth was on the swell of my breasts and I knew I should be stopping this but it felt so fucking good. His hand reached up, pulled the top of my dress down, and before I knew it, my nipple was covered with the warmth of his mouth. I threw my head back against the door. A moan escaped from the pleasure of what he was fucking doing to me. He stopped and pulled back from my breast, causing a popping sound. I look down at him; his eyes rose to mine. "Fuck, Amanda. I've thought about this for so long."

I froze.

And the memories came back.

My feet landed on the ground and I adjusted my dress.

He took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Matthews. I shouldn't have let it get this far." I shook my head. "It's my fault."

I turned to open the door but his hand in the crook of my elbow stopped me.

He spun me around to face him and bent so his eyes were level with mine. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I cleared my throat "I'm sorry."

We were both panting, trying to catch our breaths.

Then he had me up against the wall again, his mouth on mine, and I started kissing him back, again.

Fuck.

I pulled back.

"Stop." I pushed him off me. "Look, I said I'm sorry. I don't want to do this." I motioned my finger between us. "I don't want this."

"Well, that's not really what your body is telling me."

I blew out a breath. "I know, I'm sorry. Okay? It's just the beer and the moment. I just got caught up."

He moved in to kiss me again, but I ducked and move out the way.

"Quit fucking kissing me!" I was more forceful this time. My emotions were all over the place.

I don't want him.

I can't want him.

Not anymore.

He chuckled.

Fucking chuckled.

"No." I almost yelled. "This shit's not funny, Matthews." My voice cracked, I didn't mean it to, but it did. And before I knew it, I was crying.

Logan

She was crying and I don't know what the fuck just happened. I reached out to her but she swatted my hand away.

"I let you get to me again. You almost fucking had me," she mumbled to herself, shaking her head and wiping her tears.

"Amanda," I said, trying to soothe her. I tentatively put my hand on her waist, and brought the other to her face, wiping the tears. Her big blue eyes looked up at me. She licked her lips.

I went to kiss her again.

Because obviously I wasn't thinking with my head.

She pushed me away.

Then her hands were on my shoulders as she maneuvered me to a corner of the room. "Stay there," she said. "And quit fucking kissing me." She walked over to the opposite corner, and stood with her back to the wall.

We were as far from each other as physically possible.

"What happened just now?" I asked her. I was so fucking confused.

"Something that shouldn't have."

"You keep saying that, but I don't feel like that. To me, it felt pretty fucking-"

"Stop," she said. "Just please. Stop."

I watched as her body gave in and dropped to the floor.

I didn't know what the fuck to do. One second we were making out and was hot as hell. The next second—this.

I was cautious as I took steps closer to her. I squatted in front of her so I could see her better. "Hey, what's wrong?" I hoped it came out concerned, and not that I thought that she was acting bat-shit fucking crazy.

When her eyes met mine, she no longer looked sad. She looked—determined, maybe? "What happened, Matthews, is that I already let you break my heart once."

Then she stood up, adjusted her dress, and walked out of the room.

I didn't call her name.

I didn't stop her.

I didn't follow her.

I just sat there, in a dark room, feeling sorry for myself.

Because as much as I tried to convince myself over the last year or so, that she didn't care—or that she wouldn't care—in just a few words she proved me completely wrong.

She felt it too.

She felt everything I did.