Текст книги "Your Next Breath "

Автор книги: Iris Johansen

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Текущая страница: 10 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Her head snapped back. Dizzy. She shook it to try to clear it.

So much for thinking he wouldn’t be intimidated by a woman. It was clearly all too true.

“Sorry.” She brought the edge of her hand down in a karate chop to his neck.

He went limp.

She sat back on her heels and drew a deep breath.

“Not very well done.” Cameron was strolling out of the brush. “I was thinking I might have to step in, but that would have been very humiliating for you. He’s obviously a rank amateur.”

She got to her feet. “Where were you?”

“You obviously wanted to handle him alone, so I thought I’d let you do it.” He knelt beside Montez and took his neck in his two hands and turned it back and forth, examining it. “This karate move was done expertly, and so was the tackle. Otherwise, you deserved that clip on the jaw. Too soft, Catherine.”

“Which is why I didn’t want you to—” She stopped and shook her head. “I thought there was a chance of not hurting him. He’s already lost two members of his family and Father Gabriel.” She shrugged. “It didn’t work out.” She knelt again and went through Montez’s knapsack. “A wallet with ID and two hundred dollars’ worth of quetzal. A few health bars and a bottle of water.” She went deeper. “A quartz rosary, a prayer book…” She pulled out a hand-bound book with a yellow cover that was the worse for wear. On the cover the title was typed in large print. Maggi. “This is some kind of computer manual or book. It looks like something a college kid would have created for himself.” She was flipping through the pages. “No text. Formulas, mathematics, chemistry. I can’t make it out. Can you?”

He glanced at it. “No, but I’m not a scientist. And I’m more interested in what you allowed Montez to do to you.” He lifted her chin and examined her jaw. “You’re going to have a bad bruise. You only barely came out on top on this one.”

“I’m fine.” She felt a rush of tingling sensation and quickly leaned back, away from his hand. “Montez should be regaining consciousness soon. I have to find something with which to tie him while I talk to him.”

“By all means. We wouldn’t want him to clip you again.” He got to his feet. “But I’ll do it. I’m usually prepared for any eventuality, and if I’m not, I improvise. It’s part of my training in Tibet with the monks. You stay with him and look alluring and helpless if he wakes up. Who knows? It might work the second time.”

“I didn’t intend to appear helpless,” she said through set teeth. “Only nonthreatening. There’s a big difference as you—” She was talking to air. Cameron had vanished again into the forest.

But he would return and probably with as many gadgets and ingenious self-made devices as MacGyver on that vintage TV show. It wouldn’t surprise her if he dug up a pair of handcuffs from somewhere, she thought crossly.

Stop it. She was just annoyed because she had not performed well in his eyes. They were both professionals, and she had not wanted to seem less competent than she knew she was.

What did it matter? she thought impatiently. Both she and Cameron marched to their own particular drummers. She answered only to herself or perhaps to Hu Chang. Certainly not to Cameron. She turned away from Montez and moved to the edge of the trail. Find wood and make a fire. She could do that while still keeping an eye on Montez and waiting for Cameron to come and dazzle her with his MacGyver-like ingenuity.

And then she would sit down and plan how she was going to tell Montez about Father Gabriel and his own sister, who were the latest victims of Santos. It would be ammunition to make him talk to them, but not one she would take pleasure in using.

Then don’t plan, let instinct lead her to the right way to handle him.

If he could be handled. He was a man who was filled with panic and bewilderment, and that often translated to violence.

She touched her bruised jaw. For a student of theology, Montez had been less than Christian in his response to her.

She would just have to make sure she didn’t turn the other cheek.

ST. JOSEPH’S HOSPITAL

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

He was there again, Jane realized with annoyance. Outlined in flames in the darkness. Sending out sparks that disturbed the serenity. She couldn’t get away from him.

“No, you can’t,” Caleb said. “I’m glad you realize that. But I’ve never really gone away. I’ve just let you rest and get used to my being here again.”

“I don’t want to get used to your being here. I told you that before. I want you to go away.”

“So you can go away? So you can go running back to Trevor? That’s not going to happen. He doesn’t want you, Jane.”

“You’re lying. He does want me.”

“Not now. I’m not worried about him. He’ll be on my side.”

“He loves me.”

“As much as he can love you. As much as you can love him. But there are all kinds of love, and you haven’t tasted more than a sip. Trevor would want you to drain the cup. You know that, Jane.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t want to know.”

“Too bad. Because I don’t really care what Trevor wants. It’s what I want that’s important.” His voice was velvet soft, insistent as a haunting melody. “And I want you to live, Jane. Not only will you live, but you’ll reach out and embrace life. I won’t have it any other way.”

“You don’t have anything to say about it. I’m dying.”

“But you’re better. I’ve been working, mending, helping you to mend yourself. I’m not there yet, but I’m closer. You’re having trouble not being aware of me all the time. I’m behind you, pushing. Soon I’ll be in front, leading.”

“No.”

“Yes.” He smiled. “Give it up. I won’t let you go. I’ll sit here and work on that mending. And now it’s time for you to think about something besides Trevor. So I’ll slip in a few memories to blur him…”

She tensed. “Of you?”

“No, we’ve not really had that kind of relationship yet. Close, but not quite there. I’m looking forward to it.” He chuckled. “No, I’ll make those memories pure as the driven snow. Not at all what you’d expect of me.”

“I don’t expect anything of you.”

“Then you should. You should expect everything from me. Because that’s what you’ll get.”

“Certainly not anything pure or without—”

“Shh, what’s more pure than the love of a puppy? Remember the day Eve gave you Toby? You were only a kid, weren’t you? Remember the excitement, the pure joy of living? And all the time he’s been with you, he’s given you that same joy. But we’ll start when he was a puppy and let you start reliving there. You were at the lake cottage, and it was only a little while after Eve and Joe took you into their home…”

*   *   *

“He’s mine, Eve? He’s really mine?” Jane hugged the half-golden retriever, half-wolf bundle of fur closer to her chest. “Sarah sent him to me to keep forever?”

“As close to forever as it gets.” Eve smiled. “She doesn’t want him back if that’s what you mean. She knew how much you loved her Monty and wanted you to have his and Maggie’s firstborn. What are you going to call him?”

“I’ll have to think. Maybe … Toby? He’s so beautiful.” Her eyes flew to meet Eve’s. “I don’t deserve him. I loved Sarah’s dog so much that I wanted him to love me instead of her. That was bad, wasn’t it, Eve? It was selfish. But I’d never had anything that was really mine to love. And now she’s given me this wonderful puppy of Monty’s to be my own. Should I call her and tell her how bad I was? Maybe she’d want him back.”

“I don’t think that’s likely,” Eve said gently. “Sarah knows what a good home you’ll give him. Because you’ve never had a home all these years, you know its value. And she’d understand that you’d need a dog of your own. Having something to love is very important.”

Jane nodded. “And when you do, you should hold on tight and never let go.” Her arms hugged the puppy closer. “That’s what I’m going to do. Never, never, let go…”

CHAPTER

9

RAIN FOREST

GUATEMALA

“Who are you?”

Catherine’s gaze went to where Montez was lying, across the fire from where she was sitting. “Awake at last? I didn’t think you’d be out that long.” She could see his muscles tense, and said quickly, “Don’t try anything. Your wrists and ankles are tied. We thought it was a wise precaution considering that you decided to sock me.”

“Who are you?” he repeated. “And who are ‘we’?”

“I’m Catherine Ling.” She reached in her jacket and pulled out her ID. “CIA. I know you’re on the run from Santos. I don’t have anything to do with him.”

“Yes, you do. I know better than that.”

“Do you?” Her eyes were narrowed on his face. “I’d like to know just how.” She jerked her head to the right. “And ‘we’ includes Richard Cameron, who is leaning against that pine over there. He’s responsible for finding some vines to tie you up so that you couldn’t sock me again. He covered some strands of wire he had with him to keep them from cutting you. Not an entirely MacGyver-like solution, but I took what I could get.”

“He’s CIA, too?”

“No, a sort of civilian.”

“Sort of?” Montez’s eyes were wide with suspicion as he gazed at Cameron. “I’ve been around too many ‘civilians’ bought off by Santos. How do I know that he’s—”

“You don’t.” Cameron strolled forward into the firelight. “You’ll have to trust Catherine to keep me in line. I’m totally terrified of her.”

“Shut up, Cameron,” Catherine said. “You’re not making it any easier for him.”

“I don’t intend to do that. I’m still a little pissed off that he clipped that lovely jaw of yours. You want to put him at ease? You do it.”

“I’m finding it difficult trusting either one of you with my hands and feet tied like this,” Montez said. “Was it you who were asking questions of Marco at the restaurant and sent Father Gabriel into a panic?”

Catherine shook her head. “No.”

He inhaled sharply. “Not CIA? I was hoping—” He stopped. “Then why did you come after me? How did you know I was on the run?”

“The world didn’t stop when you decided to hide away with Father Gabriel,” Catherine said. “Santos didn’t stop. He went after me, and when I became curious about your connection with him, it revived his interest in you.”

“It didn’t need reviving,” he said bitterly. “I knew it was only a matter of time. I just hoped that they’d keep Santos in that prison for the rest of his life. Not likely. Even when they first arrested him, he was making deals and hatching schemes.”

“Making deals?” Catherine repeated slowly. “What deals? I didn’t hear about any deals.”

“Forget it,” Montez said shortly. “Why should I talk to you? I’m better off on my own. Santos hates you. Dorgal told me how much Santos hated you.”

“Better off?” Catherine said. “I don’t think you’re doing so well, Montez.”

“Or maybe he is,” Cameron said. “It’s the people around him that are suffering.” His lips tightened. “The count is mounting. Tell him about the priest.”

“Priest?” Montez stiffened. “Father Gabriel?” He inhaled sharply. “Is he all right? He told me he was going to hide in the village.”

“He didn’t make it,” Catherine said gently. “He was dead when Cameron and I reached the church. Shot. We managed to take down the two men who did it, but it was too late for Father Gabriel.”

“God in Heaven.” Montez’s eyes closed. “My fault. I told him that it wasn’t safe for him to let me stay at the church. He wouldn’t let me leave. He said that life gives second chances, and no one should know that better than I.” He opened eyes glittering with moisture. “But he didn’t have a second chance, did he?”

“And neither did your sister, Lena,” Cameron said quietly.

“Lena?”

“Dorgal needed information. He thought she might be able to give it to him.”

Montez turned pale. “She didn’t know anything except that I was heading for this area. Nothing definite. And I was careful not to communicate with anyone after Santos killed my brother. She didn’t know.” He paused. “He killed her?”

“Yes,” Catherine said. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“But being sorry won’t replace her,” Cameron said. “Or get revenge for her death. Only you can do that, Montez. Talk to us. Tell us why Santos is so interested in keeping you alive. Tell us why you and Dorgal had a chat about Catherine. That must have been about the time that Santos ordered your brother’s death. Significant connection?”

Montez was silent.

“Listen, Montez,” Catherine said. “Do I feel sorry for you? Yes. I believe you tried to break with Santos. I think you may be a victim. But I have victims of my own to avenge and protect. I’ve had three friends who have died, another is hanging on by a thread. My son’s life may be on the line if I don’t find Santos. I want to know everything you know about him.” She held his gaze. “I will know it. I’ll give you a little while to absorb your own personal tragedy, but one way or the other, you’ll tell me what I need to know.”

“You’re threatening me?” His lips twisted. “I gave in to threats once, and where did it get me? I’m tired of threats. Look at you. You’re such a beautiful woman. But you’re probably as much a monster as Delores Santos.”

“Catherine’s not a monster,” Cameron said softly. “And I’m irritated that you’d call her that. You don’t want to irritate me, Montez.”

“Drop it, Cameron. We’ve thrown some pretty rough flak at him.” Catherine turned and pulled out the well-thumbed book with the yellow cover she’d taken out of Montez’s knapsack. She pointed to the title Maggi. “What is this, Montez?”

He tensed. “What do you think it is?”

“I can’t make heads or tails of it or I wouldn’t be asking you. It looks like a bunch of chemical formulas.”

“Give it to me. It’s mine.”

“What is it?” she repeated.

“You might as well give it to me. No one would understand it but me.”

“I have a friend who might. Hu Chang would find it interesting.”

“Give it to me.”

“After we have a talk about Santos and how you can help me save the people I care about.” She put the book back in her jacket. “And after I’m sure that it’s of no value to Santos. I’m not giving him anything that he wants.”

“I wouldn’t give him anything he wants if I can help it,” Montez said desperately. “I’ll disappear. I’ll dig down so deep, no one will be able to find me. All I want is to keep him from killing any more of my family. Let me go.”

“I might be able to do that if I was sure that you couldn’t help me find Santos. But I’m not sure that’s true.” She paused, her gaze on his face, waiting for any flicker of expression. “Have you ever been to the place where Santos has set up his new headquarters?”

Montez stared her in the eye. “No, I have not. I dealt only with Dorgal. I talked to Santos on the phone several times years ago, but that was before you managed to topple him and send him to prison.”

“He didn’t communicate with you while he was in prison?”

“No, everything was through Dorgal after that. Nor has Dorgal ever given me a hint as to where Santos’s new compound is located. I knew that Dorgal was setting up a safe haven for Santos somewhere, but I hoped that Santos would stay in prison and not be able to use it.”

“Safe haven,” Cameron repeated. “How would you know what Dorgal was doing for Santos? It had to be top secret. Why would you know, Montez?”

Montez didn’t answer.

Cameron’s voice turned stinging hard. “Why?”

“Because I had to know. Satisfied?” A muscle was jerking in Montez’s cheek, and his dark eyes held panic. “But I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to know anything more. I could see where it was headed. That’s why I ran away.” His gaze flew back to Catherine. “And they let me go, but they gave me a warning.”

“Your brother’s death.”

He nodded.

“But can’t you see that it will just keep on? Your brother, your sister, Father Gabriel? How many deaths will you accept before you fight back?”

“I can see that if I don’t take that warning, Santos will kill another one of my family. My mother is still alive, and so is my little nephew, Nathaniel.”

“Everything you do is a danger to your family. You ran away, and your brother died. You stayed hidden, and they wanted to find you, so your sister died.” Her voice was shaking with passion. “Do you think I don’t know how that feels? Santos is threatening everyone I love, and it seems everything I do is the wrong thing. But your choice is to be a slave to that son of a bitch or fight him. You must know something, or Santos wouldn’t have been afraid of having me find you.”

“I don’t know where he is,” Montez repeated. “I can’t help it if you won’t believe me.”

She did believe him. “Okay, but I think you can help us to find him. Will you try to do that? Look, we could set a trap for him if you’d consent to be the bait. Let Dorgal capture you and take you to Santos. We’ll find a way to track you. We’ll protect you and your family, and we’ll make sure Santos never troubles you again.”

“You’re crazy. You expect me to trust you that much?”

“I hope you will.” She held his gaze. “I’m telling you the truth. Can’t you see it?”

He looked away from her.

“I know it’s dangerous, but so is being on the run from Santos when any moment he might decide he doesn’t need you. Help us, Montez.”

He shook his head.

“I could persuade him,” Cameron offered.

“No, it’s not that simple. Didn’t you hear me? I believe him. I don’t want him hurt. We’ll just stay here, and I’ll try to convince him that—”

“I could do that, too.” Cameron tilted his head. “Or go inside and attempt to find out why Santos wants him kept alive. Though he’s so stubborn, there might be minor damage.”

“Go inside,” Montez repeated warily.

“Not unless there’s no other way,” Catherine said. “I told you, I don’t want him hurt. He’s suffered enough. We just need to make it clear to him what—”

Cameron’s cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID and put it on speaker. “Dario.”

“I hope you’re moving very fast, Cameron,” Dario said. “Because you may have company soon.”

“What kind of company?”

“Dorgal. He must have been on his way to San Esposito and sent those two men who killed the priest on ahead.”

“He’s alone?”

“He was alone when he flew into the airport. He checked out the situation at the church, made a few phone calls, and two hours later he got reinforcements from over the border and a few local villages. By the time he started tracking you into that rain forest, he had twenty-two men.”

Catherine muttered a curse.

“Is that our lovely Catherine?” Dario asked. “You won’t be totally alone. I gathered together five of my own men, who are far superior to Dorgal’s, and we’re only fifteen, twenty minutes behind him. However, he has to be fairly close to you.”

“Closer than you think,” Catherine said. “We had over two hours’ delay after we overtook Montez.”

“Not good. Should we try to ambush Dorgal, Cameron?”

“No, not yet. Keep me informed. I’ll get back to you.” He hung up. “You heard him.” He started putting out the fire. “Let’s move.”

“Untie me,” Montez said. “Unless you want to serve me up for Dorgal. He’d love telling Santos how you did that for him.”

“No, we don’t want to make it easy for Dorgal.” Catherine unsheathed her knife and cut the vines binding him. “And we sure as hell don’t want to have Santos get his hands on you. Which he will do if we don’t move fast.”

“Let me go,” Montez said urgently. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll take care of myself.” He jumped to his feet. “Look, if you hadn’t caught me, I would have been all right. I spent months hiding in the rain forests before I went to Father Gabriel. I can do it again.”

“With Dorgal on the hunt for you?” Cameron asked. “Personally, I would just as soon let you take your chances. But Catherine is feeling protective, so you go with us.”

“No.” His jaw set. “She says that she doesn’t want me hurt. Let’s see if she’s speaking the truth. I won’t go with you. You’ll have to hurt me to make me do it.”

He meant it, Catherine realized with frustration. “You’re being a fool. Where could you hide?”

“I was heading for the Benedictine monastery at the far end of the rain forest. Father Gabriel made arrangements for me to stay there in case of an emergency. I won’t let the monks run the risk of hiding me now. I’ll find somewhere in the forest. But later, after Dorgal checks them out, I could make contact and have them find a safe place for me.”

“He’ll disappear, and you’ll never see him again,” Cameron said flatly. “We’ll have it to do all over again.”

But Montez wasn’t going to help her anyway, unless she used force. She could see it in his expression, the tautness of his jaw.

Save him.

Let him live another day.

Hope that he’d realize that they were fighting the same battle.

“Then we’ll do it again.” Catherine turned and headed for the trail. “Okay, we’ll let you go, Montez. But I want to do it right. We passed a stream a half mile to the east. You come with us. I want your footprints clearly heading east. Once we reach the stream, we can blur them and eventually lose the print. Then you take off south in the direction of the monastery. Cameron and I will make sure that you’re not followed.”

“How?”

“What do you care? You prefer hiding to confrontation.” She was striding down the trail. “If you change your mind, I’ll be glad to have your help.”

“Taunting isn’t going to make me do what you want,” he said quietly. “You have your own agenda, just like Santos.”

“No, but maybe this will help you to trust me.” She turned to face him as she reached the stream. “Cameron has hired a very talented man who is every bit as deadly as Dorgal. His name is Rafael Dario. We’ll have his men protect your mother and nephew from Santos. He’d protect you, too, if you’d allow it. But your family will definitely be protected. You can feel safe that whatever you do, nothing is going to happen to them.”

“I’m supposed to believe you?”

“Believe what you wish. I’ve told you what I’m going to do.”

“Why?”

“Perhaps because I’m not a monster like Delores Santos. Or perhaps because this isn’t over, and I’ll be back to ask you again to help us get Santos. Or maybe I’ll call you and ask you if you’ve changed your mind.” She scrawled her cell number on a card and gave it to him. “Or you can call me. I’ll have Dario pick you up.”

Montez’s lips tightened. “I don’t promise you anything.”

“But I’ve made you a promise, and I’ll keep it. Now get out of here.”

He stood there looking at her, his expression a myriad of conflicting emotions.

“Go!”

He started to turn. “Maybe you’re not like his Delores…”

“Thank you. I might remind you that I shot Delores Santos.”

“Oh, yes, but you don’t have to remind me of that.” He hesitated. “I have friends. I’ll know if you’re telling the truth about having Dario protect my family.”

“Good. Now get out of here before you ruin everything.”

He hesitated once more, staring at her, then at Cameron.

Then he was gone.

“You rolled the dice,” Cameron said. “Interesting. But I would have handled it differently.”

“Get Dario on the phone and tell him to protect Montez’s family.”

“Oh, I will. But I’ll also tell him to track down Montez near that monastery and keep an eye on him in case we need to talk to him again.”

“That was going to be my next request.” She slanted him a smile. “And I know you would have handled it differently. We have different skills and viewpoints. I believe him, and I think he has to come to us. But I also remember how patient you were with Erin when you were trying to recruit her. You aren’t totally ruthless.” She shrugged. “Besides, I still have that book he was so eager to get back.”

“Keeping the book was the only thing that we agreed on. And the circumstances with Erin were different. I’m still angry with Montez for hurting you. I think it’s going to take a long time for me to get over that.” He shrugged. “We shall see. You get a branch and erase the prints Montez just made going back down the trail. I’ll get busy blurring these footprints so well that we’ll make Dorgal dizzy, and he’ll end up back at San Esposito.”

ST. JOSEPH’S HOSPITAL

ATLANTA, GEORGIA

“Progress?” Eve asked softly.

Caleb glanced up at Eve as she came to stand beside Jane’s bed. “Yes and no. I think by tomorrow I might ask you to have that Dr. Basle have another look at her and reevaluate his opinion about the graft.”

“Thank God.”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the no?”

“He might decide to do it before I can get her ready for it.”

“Then we’ll not bring him in again yet. We’ll give her some more time.”

“I don’t have any more time.”

She inhaled sharply. “That’s not possible. All the doctors gave her seven to ten days. You’ve only been working with her for two days.”

“I told you that they couldn’t be sure of the time factor when the blood was concerned.”

“But only two days? It should be longer than that.”

“Yes.”

Her hand grasped his shoulder. “Talk to me. Don’t you sit there and give me one-word answers. Why is she going downhill?”

He twisted around to look at her. “Why?” His eyes were glowing fiercely in his taut face. “Because of me. Because that’s where she wants to go. Because she’s afraid of what I’m doing.”

“Then do something to change it.”

“Do you think I’m not trying? No one knows better than you how stubborn Jane can be. Well, she’s made up her mind, and she won’t let go of him.”

Her fingers dug into his shoulder. “Trevor?”

“Who else? I’ve been trying to offer substitutes. She loves her dog, her work as an artist, the beauty of the world around her. It’s all important to her, but it’s not enough.” He got to his feet. “I’m glad you’re here. I was going to come and get you anyway. It was time I brought in the big guns.”

“And that’s what I’m supposed to be?”

“You know you are. She loves you, she respects you, she’ll listen to you.”

“She’s in a coma. I wasn’t even sure that she was aware I was talking to her.”

“She’s aware. She was just shutting you out. She tried to do the same thing to me, but I wouldn’t let her. So she started to go down deeper.” He pushed her down into the chair he’d just vacated. “It’s over to you now. I brought her halfway back. You keep her on the right track and away from Trevor.”

“It sounds easy,” she said bitterly.

“Easier than letting her go.” His eyes were suddenly blazing. “Do you know how hard it is for me to leave her now? I want to do it all. But she won’t let me that close to her.” He turned on his heel. “So you do it, and I’ll reach out as much as I can. Get busy.”

Get busy.

It was an order she’d be glad to obey if she only knew how to start.

The only way to begin was to start in the beginning.

And hope that Caleb’s certainty that Jane could hear her was right.

She took Jane’s hand. “Caleb says that you can hear me and are just pretending and shutting me out. If you are, it’s because you’re confused. You wouldn’t deceive me. We’ve always been honest with each other. Or have we? You told me that it was fine that we were best friends, and you didn’t want to replace Bonnie as my daughter. Was it true? You’d been through so much growing up on the streets that I thought your defenses were too high for any other relationship. Hey, I was wounded and damaged, too. Maybe I accepted what you said because of that. I hope not. I was an adult, and you were a child. It was my job to give you whatever you needed.” She leaned back in the chair, her mind going back to those years of watching Jane grow and change and become a woman. “But how I loved you. I realized how special you were, and you filled Joe’s and my lives with joy. Can you feel that love, Jane? It’s still there and as powerful as ever. I love you so much that I’d let you go if I thought it was best for you. But it’s not best; you have so many things to do, so many loves to know. And even after all these years, we still have so much to learn about each other. You have to stay with me, and I’ll watch you and love you, and maybe we’ll come to understand why we were meant to be together. Okay?” She drew a shaky breath. “Are you saying yes? It’s very hard to know without your opening your eyes and smiling at me. I really wish you would do that.” Her hand tightened on Jane’s. “Not ready yet? Then let’s talk about Trevor. Caleb says that you want to be with him. Understandable. You’ve loved him since you were only seventeen. I remember you came back from Scotland and told me how dizzy he made you. You were young and not sure if it was anything deeper. We were sitting on the porch and looking out at the lake. And we talked about velvet nights, which was sex, then silver mornings, which might mean something deeper. I know you remember that night because we’ve talked about it since then, and it was important to you, too. But you realized something else as we talked about it, didn’t you? Remember, Jane?”

*   *   *

Silver mornings … Eve put her cup down on the railing and sat down on the step beside Jane. “A relationship that changed the way you see everything?” She put her arm around Jane. “Fresh and clean and bright in a dark world. May you find that someday, Jane.”

“I already have them.” She smiled at Eve. “You give one to me every day. When I’m down, you bring me up. When I’m confused, you make everything clear. When I think there’s no love in the world, I remember the years you gave me.” She leaned her head contentedly back on Eve’s shoulder. “Silver mornings aren’t restricted to lovers. They can come from mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers, good friends … They can all change how you see your world, too.”

“Yes, they can.”

They sat in silence for a long time, gazing out at the lake in contentment. Finally, Eve sighed. “I suppose we should go in.”

Jane smiled. “Hell, let’s not go to bed. Let’s wait for the dawn and see if it comes up silver.”

*   *   *

“I’ll always remember your smile that night,” Eve said unsteadily. “It lit up your face, and it lit up my life. Because I knew that no matter what happened between you and Trevor, the love between us was going to go on. And when later you realized that Trevor was the silver morning that you wanted to fill your life, I rejoiced. When he was killed, I mourned.”

“But I think you forgot that there are other silver mornings, and now you have to remember that night on the porch. Let me help you remember. Open your eyes. Come back to me.”

Jane didn’t move.

She repeated unsteadily, “Dammit, you come back to me.”

*   *   *

Hold on, Eve. She’s so close to you. She’s almost there.