Текст книги "Believe"

Автор книги: Erin McCarthy

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Текущая страница: 8 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

“This okay?” I asked, even as I moved. She was just so tight, so hot, I couldn’t believe how amazing it felt, how perfect we were.

“Yes,” she said, and her voice was breathy, eyes half closed. “It’s good, so good.”

That’s what I was talking about. “Hold me,” I said, “so you don’t slip. Dig in hard, I like that.”

Robin’s fingernail scraped across my back, pressing into my flesh, and the sharpness matched the intensity of my emotion perfectly. I came inside her, gritting my teeth, enjoying the way she squeezed her inner muscles onto me in some instinctive chick voodoo that had me feeling like I’d do anything she wanted, now and forever.

Not wanting her to lose the momentum, I pulled out and dropped down in a squat so I could finish her, her hands in my hair, her shocked exclamation when my tongue touched her almost as satisfying as my orgasm. She couldn’t see the smile I didn’t prevent from spreading across my face as I slipped a finger inside her, tongue still working the swollen button in front of me. There was something about that sound she made, that little moan that was a whole octave higher than her natural voice, that drove me crazy. She was so damn sexy.

“Yeah, babe.” But she didn’t really need my encouragement. She was already there, yanking hard on my hair as she shuddered through her pleasure.

Leaning back on my heels, I wiped my mouth and stared up at her. “I want you to remember that forever,” I told her. “Because I will.”

Chapter Ten
Robin

I swallowed hard, my mouth hot, thighs burning from strain, as I stared down at Phoenix. His eyes watched me from under that fall of dark hair, his gaze piercing and glassy and intense. I nodded in agreement, afraid to speak, scared that I actually might start crying. What was happening between us was so much, so passionate, so beyond anything I’d ever felt, it was overwhelming in the best possible way. It was like I couldn’t contain it inside me, and my fingers shook, goose bumps rose over my body, my throat was tight.

We all wonder when we will fall in love, wonder how we’ll know that our feelings are real, if someone is the right one for us.

Then it happens, and those questions seem laughable.

Because when it’s real, you feel it in every inch of you, every cell, every vein, every nook and cranny. It moves, it rises with each breath, it’s alive, and the world around you becomes sharper, crisper, in focus.

There is no question, only the answer.

Phoenix rose up, his body brushing against mine, and he smiled. “Hey,” he whispered, kissing the lobe of my ear, his arms coming around me to gather me close.

“Hey.” My legs felt unstable, but I felt wonderful, agitated in a good way, the air between us intimate and sweet with the smell of sex. I thought I would be embarrassed, but I wasn’t. I just felt close to him, warm, safe.

“You’re good for my temper,” he said, kissing my neck before pulling back.

“Glad to help.” It had almost broken my heart to see his stoic face when he had been speaking to his mother. I didn’t even know everything that she had said, but it clearly hadn’t been good because he had alternated between holding it together with clenched fists and a tight jaw, and bursts of exasperation. I wished I could help him more, but I knew it was his decision whether to cut her out of his life or not.

But I didn’t want the moment between us to end either, so I shared my thought before I could chicken out and not say anything. “You know what I would like to do?” I asked, then continued before he could take a guess. “Take a bath.”

His eyebrows shot up. “A bath?”

“Yes. Want to join me?” My level of the apartment had the roof pitch, which was part of the reason my room was so cozy, and the bathroom was the same, on the opposite side of the house. It had a tiny shower crammed into the corner, way too small for two people, even two people who wanted to be on top of each other, but the bathtub was original to the house, a claw-foot, cast-iron soaker, and I had been eyeballing it since I’d moved in.

“Uh, hell, yeah. I don’t think I’ve taken a bath in twenty years.” He looked bemused by the idea. “But I’m down with that.”

“Awesome. And somehow I don’t think you were showering when you were three months old.”

“You don’t know that,” he said with a grin. “I was pretty independent.”

Ten minutes I had the water running and lots of bubbles industriously foaming. I slipped off my dress and underwear and quickly got in, sinking down, not wanting to give him a lengthy view of me naked. It was stupid, I knew that, but I felt exposed just walking around with no clothes on. Yet I had been known to wear dresses that came up to here and went down to there, so my magic line of modesty was a bit ridiculous. It was what it was though, and Phoenix didn’t comment on it.

He took his time stripping off his clothes and setting down two soft drinks he’d run down to the kitchen to get on the toilet lid for us. It gave me time to study his body, remembering how it felt to have him press me hard against the bedroom door.

Phoenix stuck a foot in and winced. “Fuck, that’s hot. I’m not sure about scalding water on my balls, babe. That sounds like a bad idea.”

Relaxing back against the tub, I lifted a foot out of the bubbles and tickled his thigh with my toes. “Don’t be a baby,” I teased.

“What? I think sex makes you sassy.” He made a face, but he sat down opposite from me, knees sticking out of the bubbles because his legs were too long. “Baby this.” And he gripped my foot and lightly bit my toes.

“Hey!” I said, giggling, trying to jerk it back. “That tickles.”

He smiled, a beautiful, relaxed smile as he lightly massaged my foot before putting it back in the water. He sank back, shifting so he avoided the faucet. “This feels pretty good, I have to admit. Even in August.”

It did feel good. Like being in my room with him, it was just me and Phoenix in our own small space, away from the world. He gathered bubbles to his chest and held some in his hand, inspecting them, like he’d never had a bubble bath. Maybe he never had. I watched him, in awe of the way he displayed no fear, no true bitterness about his life. I knew that Tyler had said Phoenix had issues and he had said himself that he had problems processing his anger, but I wasn’t sure anything I had seen was out the ordinary for someone who had grown up the way he had.

He froze in the middle of shaking bubbles off his palm. “What?” His voice softened. “When you look at me like that . . .”

“Like what?” I asked, even though I knew full well how I looked.

“Like you love me.”

“It’s because I do.” I didn’t think that I had ever actually been more sure of anything else in my life. It swelled inside me, and I felt it with each rise of my chest.

“I love you, too.”

No guy had really said that to me before, not like that. Not straight out, Yes, this is how I feel. It seemed bizarre that out of all the girls he had probably met, Phoenix would want to be with me. I wasn’t sure what I brought to the table. But I wasn’t going to let any insecurity spoil the moment, because when I looked at him, there was no doubt in my mind that he did love me. For whatever reason, he did.

“I . . . ,” I started to say, and then my throat closed up. I wanted to tell him the truth—that I was a horrible person who had blacked out and had sex with Nathan. That I didn’t understand how I could do that. But the words wouldn’t come out because I didn’t want to see the love on his face change, evaporate.

Phoenix studied me intently. After a long pause, he suddenly moved, disturbing the water and sending bubbles floating into the air. “Scoot over,” he said. “I’m coming to that side.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, sitting forward and holding on to the tub so I didn’t go floating away.

“Like this.” He managed to get past me by standing up and resettling himself against the wall of the tub I had been leaning on. “Now get between my legs and lay back. It will be more comfortable.”

I did, my face heating a little with both arousal and embarrassment that my butt was now firmly pressed against his nakedness, breasts rising out of the water. But Phoenix’s arms wrapped around me felt wonderful as he kissed the top of my head, and I decided nothing outside of this room mattered.

Only me and him.

Happiness in the now, like he had said.

* * *

As I mixed paints and worked on my canvas, skipping a pencil drawing first, Phoenix lay on the couch flat on his back, sketchbook over his head. I had no idea how he was drawing like that, but it seemed to work for him. Downstairs I could hear Rory and Tyler talking in the kitchen, but Kylie didn’t seem to be home.

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I stared at my palette of blues and grays and black. I was painting a storm, with a tiny woman standing the foreground, being swept away. It was me, of course, and not in any way subtle in its metaphor, but I was taking pleasure in seeing it come to life. It was a quiet contentment I felt, being with Phoenix, rediscovering my art, staying away from alcohol.

It was like I was finally figuring out who the real Robin was, and I liked this new me, the one who didn’t crave attention for the wrong reasons.

“Babe?” Phoenix called from the couch.

“Yeah?” I glanced up.

He was on his side craning his neck to look at me, his hair in his eye. “Look at me for a second.”

“What?” I laughed. “Why?”

“I need to see your nose. I’m not getting it quite right.”

My smile grew wider. So the perfect boyfriend became even more perfect. He was sketching me.

“Make sure you get my good side.”

“All your sides are good.”

The smile fell off my face, and I looked at him, feeling reflective.

Were all the real sides of me good? The ones that didn’t come from a bottle of vodka? I thought maybe they were.

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Can I see your sketch?”

“Nope. Give me a couple of days to work on it.”

I hadn’t seen any of his portrait work, but what it looked like didn’t actually matter.

Just that he wanted to capture me.

The real me.

* * *

Phoenix got up with me when my alarm went off even though he didn’t have to be at work until three.

“I feel weird sleeping in with you gone,” he said as he pulled on his jeans. “I don’t know if it’s okay with your roommates.”

He had a point. I had just been avoiding discussing it with them. Which was not mature at all, or fair. So when we went down to the kitchen I was glad to see Rory and Kylie both there, Rory eating cereal, Kylie oatmeal.

“Hey,” I said.

“Good morning,” Kylie said, dressed in running clothes. “I’m going to Zumba before my class. Want to come with?”

My first instinct was to make up an excuse, but then I realized that wasn’t going to solve the problem. “Um, okay, though you know I totally suck at it. I can only dance when I drink.”

“Why is that?” Kylie asked. “It’s like a universal phenomenon. Phoenix, can you dance?”

“No.” He took the glass of orange juice I had poured for him. “But maybe I could bust a move drunk, I don’t know. I’ve never been drunk, so who is to say?”

“You’ve never been drunk?” Kylie looked shocked. “Like ever?”

“Like ever.” He leaned on the counter and put his glass to his lips.

“Wait, did you meet in AA?”

Rory put down her spoon. “Ky, if he’s never been drunk, why would he need AA? And Robin hasn’t been to AA. Have you?”

I shook my head. “No.” I had brought up drinking, and I was already sorry I had. “I seem to be okay with just not drinking. I don’t think I need a counselor or anything.”

“When was the last time you drank?” Kylie asked.

Her tone was just curious, casual. She didn’t seem to understand like Jessica and Rory did how sudden my decision had been.

“June.”

“Wow. Like a summer detox?”

“Like a forever detox.”

“I guess you two are good for each other then. It’s totes awesome.” Then she seemed to lose interest in the subject.

“We are good for each other,” Phoenix said. “And I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been around. I don’t want to crowd you guys.”

“It’s fine,” Rory said. “We all come and go with our boyfriends, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

“But with the situation with Easton, I’ll probably end up sleeping here a lot. If you want me to pay some rent or whatever, I can, once I’m a week or two into my job.”

I was impressed with Phoenix’s offer. It wasn’t like he had much money, but that he was willing to put it out there, that it was only fair to pay rent, made me aware of how firm his moral grounds were. It also made me warm inside that he was going to be around almost all of the time.

“I’m okay with it the way it is, because I don’t want to get into like logging in and out how many hours you, Nathan, and Tyler are here. Let’s just promise to communicate if we’re invading each other’s space, okay?” Kylie said.

“I’m good with that,” Rory said.

“Me too.” I eyed the mostly empty fridge. I needed to go to the grocery store. “Do we have time to get a muffin before Zumba?”

“You’re going to puke blueberry crumb up if you eat that then Zumba.”

“Then maybe I shouldn’t go.” For the first time in weeks, it felt like my appetite was back, and I didn’t really want to give up the muffin fantasy I was suddenly having. “I’m super hungry.”

“You should eat,” Phoenix said. “If you lose any more weight you’re going to disappear when you turn sideways.”

“You have lost a ton of weight,” Kylie said. “What diet are you on? I need to try it.”

The Guilt Diet.

“I think it’s from not drinking. There are a ton of calories in beer and all the juices I mixed vodka with. So much sugar.”

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to work out harder then.” Kylie laughed. “I like beer too much to give it up. Does that make me a dude?”

“I don’t think anyone is going to mistake you for a guy,” I told her. “Seriously. But we should leave now so you’re not late. But I’m skipping Zumba this time.”

She hugged me. “You’re so right. I missed you, by the way.”

My throat closed up. “I missed you, too.”

* * *

After I left Phoenix at the bus station and Kylie went on to Zumba, I headed toward the coffee shop to grab a bite before class, when I saw there was an activities fair set up in the student center. With the start of the new semester, every club in existence seemed to have a table with information set up, from table tennis to the Turkish cultural group to the Quidditch club. I wandered along the many rows, glancing at their colorful displays and wondering why I had never joined a single club at college. I had just never bothered.

There was a girl from one of my graphics class behind a table and she gave me a friendly smile. “Hi,” I said. “I think we have graphics together on Tuesday-Thursday. I’m Robin.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Helen-Marie. You should join the digital arts club if you’re in the design program. We collaborate on projects and share ideas and basically have a lot of fun.” She gave me another smile.

Helen-Marie held herself with an easy confidence I envied a little, her hair in intricate braids, her orange and gold jewelry a bright pop of color against her dark skin.

“Thanks,” I said. “I think I will.” I bent over to sign my school e-mail address on to her sign-up sheet. “I’m a commercial digital graphics major, but I love to get creative. It would be cool to hang out with some people who get that.” I loved my friends, but maybe it was time to branch out a little, try to discover my own interests a little better.

“Cool, I’ll e-mail you about the first event,” she said.

With a wave, I moved on down the row and saw a sign for a group called Sober. Curious, I weaved through the moving crowd and approached the table. “Hi. So what is this all about?”

There was a guy there wearing hipster glasses and a funky hat. “We’re just a group of students who aren’t interested in drinking or doing drugs. We plan a lot of parties and events and stuff, and everyone is there sober. So it’s for students who don’t want Friday night to end with their face in the toilet.” He smiled. “No judgment either way. It’s just kind of cool for everyone to know what they’re getting when they show up, you know?”

“That makes sense.” I pursed my lips, thinking it through. It sounded . . . scary for some reason. Yet like it could maybe be a really fun thing for Phoenix and me as a couple. “My boyfriend isn’t a student here but he doesn’t drink either. Could he come to stuff with me?”

“Sure. As long as he’s not a tool.” Then he grinned. “Kidding, kidding. Sure you can bring him. I’m Christian, by the way.”

“Robin.” I smiled, feeling a strange sense of excitement. “Thanks.”

By the time I made my way to class ten minutes later I had also signed up for a group called ACT, Against Child Trafficking, because, well, how could I not sign up for that? The very thought of child prostitution was horrifying, and I figured I needed to do something for once that was important, or at least my little role in the big picture.

I had found passion with Phoenix.

Now I wanted to find passion within myself.

It was a start.

Chapter Eleven
Phoenix

“Anybody home?” I called, yanking open the screen door to my cousins’ house and heading in. I hadn’t been there in almost a week and I wanted to pay Riley or Tyler the rest of the money I owed them for my cell phone.

Jessica was lying on the couch with a handheld mister in her hand directed straight at her face. “Hey,” she said, sounding listless.

“Hey. If you’re hot why don’t you go in the bedroom?” I asked. “I thought it has AC.”

“It broke.” The look she gave me was one of such pure agony, I was secretly just a little bit amused.

“Shit. That sucks.” I imagine if I were still staying there I’d be bitching, too, but I was over at Robin’s with central air. Jessica’s expression was entertaining, but I felt some sympathy. “I’m here to pay Riley back so maybe he can buy a new window unit.”

“He says it’s impractical to buy one until next year, because it’s only going to be hot for a few more weeks. I know he’s right, but that doesn’t make it suck any less to be sitting here sweating.”

“True that. Where are the boys?”

“Easton and Jayden are in the backyard on the Slip’N Slide. Riley is taking a cold shower because I refuse to have sex when it’s this hot. Tyler is working out in the basement because he is insane.”

Now I did smile a little. Jessica had a gift for melodrama and she was funny, even I could admit it. “Okay then, thanks.”

“Where’s Robin?”

“She’s at a club meeting.”

“What kind of club?” Jessica frowned.

“Digital arts. I don’t know what they do, honestly. She just joined it.” I lifted my hand. “Catch you later. I need to talk to Tyler then run.” Robin and I had plans for the night, plans that made me want to punch the bag in the basement with Tyler.

He was actually on the ground doing push-ups, and when I jogged down the stairs, I dropped in line behind him and did forty myself.

Tyler went onto his side, breathing hard. “Slow down, fuck, you’re killing me.”

“You don’t have to keep up,” I told him, popping off another ten, loving the burn, the sweat that beaded on my forehead.

“I’m out. No thanks.” He rolled on his side hands on his knees. “What has you so twitchy?”

I finished and jumped up, bouncing on my heels, and headed straight for the bag, landing a punch. “Two things. First of all, I brought the rest of the money I owe you. I’m not tatting customers yet myself, but I’m doing okay at the shop and hopefully in a few months I can afford my needle to start building a client list.”

“That’s cool. And thanks for paying us back so fast.”

“Sure. Now the other thing . . . I guess I need to hear what you think.” I was uncomfortable and I nailed a right hook harder. It felt like I was asking for support or involving them in my messy bullshit. But I did want to hear what his opinion was.

“Okay.”

“So when I was in, I had a bit of a partnership with a few guys, and we all watched each other’s backs. One time, this dude came at me with a fork from behind and I didn’t see it. He was going right for the base of my skull and he could have killed me, but Davis took him down for me. So I owe this guy. And now he wants to collect.” I was out of breath from boxing, but I didn’t want to look at my cousin. All I wanted to do was hit the bag, over and over, until this problem resolved itself.

“Yeah? What does he want? Money? Offer him a deal . . . tattoo him for free or something.”

If only he wanted money. “He wants me to run his drugs for him.”

“What? Fuck that!” Tyler sounded furious.

“I know. You know I would never do that. Not in a million goddamn years. He wants me though, because he knows I won’t steal supply from him.” Bam. My knuckles split open, and blood rolled down my fingers and the back of my hand. “But the problem is, I ran into him and Robin was with me. He knows what she looks like.”

“Does he know where she lives?” Tyler’s voice had gotten hard, and I knew why. Rory lived there, too.

“No.” Left, right, left, right. I punched in a perfect mesmerizing rhythm, shoulders tight, sweat dripping in my eyes, blood chugging over my flesh, the sound hypnotic. I knew the second I broke rhythm because I did it on purpose. The bag nailed me in the chin with a burst of pain, my jaw jamming upward, knocking my teeth into my tongue. My vision went blurry for a split second.

I spit blood out of my mouth onto the bottom of my shirt, wiping the remnants with my forearm, and finally stepping back to look at Tyler. I stood with my hands on my hips, catching my breath.

“Dude,” he said. “You okay?”

“Fine. So what do you think I should do?”

“How pissed is he going to be?”

“I don’t know. I mean, you know a guy in there, doesn’t mean he’s the same out here.” That’s what scared me. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but he was a dealer. You had to have a certain disregard for other people to be in the business.

“That’s true.” Tyler looked like he wished to hell he didn’t know that. “Why don’t you feel him out, offer him something else you think he might want?”

“The problem is, I don’t know what he would want. And if I ask him, I tip my hand.”

“Just put him off for a day or two and we’ll figure something out.” Tyler stood up. “Now go get a towel, you’re bleeding all over the place.”

“Am I?” I glanced down at my hand, then wiped my bleeding chin. “I didn’t notice.”

Tyler scrutinized me. “You care about her a lot, don’t you?”

That was a freaking understatement. “Yeah. I do. And if anything happens to her because of me . . .” I couldn’t stop myself from clenching my fists. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Nothing is going to happen to her. This guy is just trying to get something for nothing. He’s not crazy enough to start real shit with you.”

Tyler might be right, but I was worried. I couldn’t help it. Being with Robin . . . it was the best thing to ever happen to me. She made me feel calm, happy. Important. I wanted to be the best thing for her, too, not the worst.

“It just feels like we can never leave it all behind, you know?” I said. “The drugs, the bullshit, it will always follow us.”

“Heard from your mom?” he asked.

“No, just that one phone call.” As usual, I had mixed feelings about that. “I don’t want Robin to meet her. I know that’s selfish, but I don’t.”

“Look, I get where you’re coming from.” Tyler wiped his forehead with his arm. “I worry about dragging Rory into our family drama. I mean, she deserves better, right? But at the same time, I figure she is choosing to be with me, so I have to trust that. You have to trust that Robin wants to be with you.”

Easier fucking said than done. “I don’t think we were raised to trust.”

“Nope.” He grinned. “We weren’t raised to talk about our feelings either and look at us . . . a couple of girls sharing.”

“Do you want to be hit?” I asked him, but I wasn’t really pissed. It was our default setting. When we got uncomfortable with our feelings, we joked around or got aggressive.

“You punch me, I will make you eat concrete.”

I grinned. That could be entertaining, going a round with Tyler. He might even give me a run for my money, but he couldn’t beat me. I had more control and a little more crazy than he did. “No fucking chance.”

“Dude.” Tyler started laughing. “You have blood on your teeth. That is disgusting.”

“Shit.” I wiped at my mouth, trying to run my tongue over my teeth. “Is it gone? I’m supposed to be going to some party with the sober club that Robin joined.” I was actually terrified. What the fuck did I have to say to a bunch of college students?

His eyebrows shot up. “The sober club? What the hell is that?”

“It’s a bunch of students who don’t drink getting together for stuff. Tonight is acoustic night at the coffee shop and I told her I would go. She’s trying to make new friends.” The thought made me frown. “Personally, I don’t see the point. But it seems important to her.”

“Why does she need new friends?”

We stared at each other, both suddenly uneasy. “That’s a good question,” I said. “And I don’t know the answer.”

But then Tyler shrugged. “I guess I can see wanting to be around people who don’t drink. No temptation that way.”

“Do you know something I don’t know?” I asked him.

“It depends on what you know.”

Really? “I know that something happened at that party. But I don’t know what.”

“I don’t know either, man.” He held out his hands. “I do know that maybe Nathan shouldn’t have been the one to give her a ride home that night.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Just that I saw them leave together. That’s it. That’s all it means.”

But it clearly wasn’t. He was trying to tell me something without telling me directly. I turned and punched the bag again. Hard.

“Go take a shower,” he said. “Brush your teeth. Use Jayden’s toothbrush, not mine. Go have fun with Robin.”

I wasn’t sure that I could, but I was damn going to try. I wasn’t going to embarrass her.

* * *

That didn’t mean I was comfortable when we walked into that coffee shop, though. I had showered and brushed my teeth with paste on my finger, and I had asked Robin to bring me a clean shirt when she picked me up, so at least there wasn’t still blood on me. But I still felt hugely awkward as I held the door open for her and followed her inside. It smelled like roasted beans and hipster.

“Wow, it’s crowded,” she said, and even she sounded slightly nervous.

Surveying the group, I tried not to judge, but man, the music coming from the corner of the room where they had shifted tables out of the way for a makeshift stage was pretentious and boring. The singer couldn’t stay in key for more than two seconds, and I wasn’t sure why having deep lyrics meant you could get away with having no vocal ability whatsoever. But whatever. Maybe the guy was fucking awesome off stage as a person.

Some guy waved to Robin and she sounded relieved. “Oh, that’s Christian! Let’s go say hi.”

I wasn’t going to be jealous. That was ridiculous. Robin loved me. She slept next to me every night and woke up next to me every morning. It didn’t matter that this guy looked like he would be making six figures in five years.

Yet my fists clenched and unclenched, and I had to take a deep breath in, a deep breath out.

She was wearing a dress with a belt to show off her waist, and it was the first time I’d ever seen her put any sort of effort into her appearance. She had painted her fingernails and sprayed on perfume, which seemed to smack me in the face every time she moved. It didn’t smell like her to me and I fought annoyance.

“Hey, Robin,” the guy sitting down said. “Glad you could make it. This is Stefan, Blakeley, and Harper.”

“This is my boyfriend, Phoenix,” Robin said after greeting everyone.

“Is that your real name?” Harper asked me.

Was this chick serious? Because my name was weirder than any of theirs? “Yes.”

“I like your tattoo,” she said with a flirty smile, pointing to my sleeve. “Do you have any other ones?”

“Yes. My leg, my back, my chest.”

Interest sparked further in her blue eyes. “Can I see them?”

“Harper, down, girl,” Christian said. “Let them sit down. Ignore her, she has a tattoo fetish.”

“Phoenix is a tattoo artist,” Robin said as we sat down. She sounded proud of me, or at least that’s how I chose to interpret it.

“Are you an art major?” Stefan asked. At least I thought it was Stefan. He and Blakeley had been introduced to me too fast, and I was kind of confused which one was which.

They were showing slight interest and being polite, so I couldn’t complain. I just was well aware that we probably had, oh, nothing in common. “No. I’m not in school. I work full-time in a shop. Robin is a graphic design major, but she also paints.”

Robin shrugged, her nose wrinkling up. “That’s just for fun.”

That surprised me, that she would diminish her art to a hobby. She had been painting almost every night while I was at work and I came back to her place to find the hallway to her bedroom propped with drying canvases. She seemed to be on a creative burst, and I thought it was awesome. “She’s really talented,” I told them.

“So is Phoenix,” she said.

“Well, I can see why you two are together,” Harper said with a roll of her eyes. “Mutual admiration.”

Nice. But I tried not to roll my eyes back because wasn’t that why most couples were together? “What are you studying?” I asked her.

“Alcohol and drug counseling.”

“I’m pre-med,” Stefan interjected before I could say anything. “People have no idea how much damage they do to their body when they drink and pop pills.”

“I don’t think they care,” I told him, feeling Robin’s hand snake over to intertwine with mine under the table.

“The liver damage, the destruction of brain cells . . . it makes no sense. Not to mention how asinine they all look stumbling out of clubs on a Friday night, drunken idiots looking to hook up.”

Robin’s grip tightened.

“Well, at least you aren’t judgmental,” I said casually, irritated as hell. What right did they have to discuss total strangers? What fucking business was it of theirs? If I made the personal choice to be totally clean, that didn’t mean I had the right to go around and point fingers at people who had a beer watching a ballgame. I didn’t go through Tyler and Riley’s kitchen and toss out their beer and whiskey. Not every drinker was an addict.