Текст книги "Breaking Brandon"

Автор книги: Elizabeth Reyes

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Breaking Brandon
Fate – 2
by
Elizabeth Reyes

To Emily, my "soldier girl," I LOVE that I had you "shaking in your combat boots!" ;)

Chapter One

Brandon

Then

The demanding knock on the door should’ve been his first clue that something was wrong. Brandon stood from where he’d been sitting staring at his ailing, sleeping father and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. It couldn’t be his mom. She had a key, and she always came in through the garage door anyway.

Glancing out the door window, Brandon was surprised to see who it was. He opened the door and smiled. “Hey, Sal.” He started to unlatch the screen door. “Damn, how long has it been?”

Sal pulled the door open roughly. “This isn’t a social visit, Billings.”

The murderous glare in Sal’s eye surprised Brandon. Of Sofia’s three brothers, Sal had always been the calmest one. They all lived up the street, and he’d known them most of his life, but he had a feeling what this was about. So he stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind him.

“Okay, so why are you here?”

“I think you know exactly why I’m here: that stunt you pulled on my sister last summer.”

“That wasn’t a stunt—”

“Bullshit!” Sal stepped closer to him, and again, the anger radiating off him came as a total surprise. Sal wasn’t even the bulldog of her brothers. What had Sofie told him really happened? “You knew the moment you invited her back to your house what your plans were.”

“No, I didn’t. I just—”

“Yes, you did!” Sal’s raised voice, startling Brandon further, and he hoped this conversation wouldn’t wake his dad. “You knew damn well that because of Angel, Alex, and me she’d never been put in that kind of predicament.” Moving even closer, Sal got right in his face. “You took advantage of my sister, motherfucker, and I swear to God you’re lucky it’s not Angel or Alex here having this conversation with you. But know this: just because I’m not doing to you what they wanted to do doesn’t mean I won’t. It’s in the past now, and even so, I’m here instead of them because if I’d let one of them do this, you’d end up in the hospital and I’d be bailing them out by the time this was all over. I don’t know how long you’re in town this time, but get this straight, Billings. You get one warning. One. You stay the fuck away from Sofie, or I’m coming after you personally.”

“Sal, I swear to you—”

“I don’t wanna hear it.” Sal said, already walking away. “I don’t give a shit what your reasons were. Bottom line is she told you she was in a relationship. So you knew what you were doing wasn’t right, but you did it anyway.”

“Does she feel this way too?”

Sal turned around at the bottom of the porch steps. “Do yourself a favor, and forget about what my sister thinks about anything where you’re concerned. She knows I’m down here right now, and she knows after today your ass will stay away from her or you’ll be answering to me.”

Brandon watched Sal walk away, knowing full well he meant every word. Even before he’d come back to this godforsaken neighborhood with all the memories of his fucked childhood, the reality of knowing he never had a shot at the only girl who’d ever pulled him out of his bitter existence had been a tough pill to swallow. He knew this was the final nail in that coffin. Not only did he have to finally accept that he and Sofie would never be but her brothers were making him out to be a monster who took advantage of her.

He walked back in the house, closing the door a little harder than he should. Fuck Sofie and her brothers! He’d never given a shit what any of them thought of him, and he wouldn’t start now.

* * *

Finally, Brandon’s mother gave up trying to coax him out of his room. He swallowed down another swig of good ole Jack Daniels straight from the bottle, and Brandon’s mind repeated the same thing it’d been repeating for the last hour. He’d been sitting there, reflecting on his miserable life on that New Year’s Eve. The only home he’d ever known, aside from the ones he’d lived in since he enlisted, was being sold. In less than a week, he’d be moving away for good. The father he’d lived to impress his entire life, and never had until just recently, had only a few months, maybe weeks, to live. He and his mother would be alone soon as he’d wished for so many years growing up; only it wasn’t what he wanted now. Damn it.

He’d finally proven to that man that he was worthy of his love. His dad had finally said the words he’d yearned to hear his entire life. I’m proud of you, son. And now he was dying? This was bullshit!

He’d never been one to cower down, no matter how bad things got. And no matter how fucking unfair his life had always been, he wasn’t one to feel sorry for himself, but in the last few days, he’d been close to breaking.

The image of Sofie’s beautiful face came to him, reminding him just how unfair life really was. The kiss they shared last summer hadn’t been just a kiss, and he couldn’t stop wondering how different things might’ve been if he’d just taken it slower.

Growing up, Sofie was the only one, aside from his mother, who’d shed a little light on his wretched existence. His senior year they’d grown close. He lived for that one hour each day he got to spend with her in his Geometry class. Being a loner his whole life, because he dared not get close to anyone who might ask him about his personal life, he’d never made a bond with anyone—until Sofie.

Senior year he’d been certain he felt something from her—seen it in her eyes when they spoke all through class. She felt what he’d been feeling.

But she was too young, and his loser ass was in no way good enough for her. Besides that, she’d been, and apparently still was, surrounded by her three older, ridiculously overprotective brothers, who would make sure he knew it. He never forgot her, not even when he left to the Marines for years. He thought of her the whole time, thought of what might’ve been. So last summer when he came home on his leave, he’d decided since she was older and he’d made such an about-face with his life he’d go for it. He was determined to prove to her and her brothers that he was worthy of her.

Seeing her for the first time in years had been breathtaking. She was even more beautiful than he’d remembered. Then she dropped the bomb. He was too late. She was already in a relationship. It made sense too, who she’d ended up with. Eric was her brother’s best friend since they were all kids. He’d had access to being around her by default all those years. Of course the guy had staked his claim on her the moment she was allowed to date.

Not only had Eric always had a better chance because of his friendship with her brothers he had something else—he was Hispanic. Brandon didn’t think Sofie or her brothers were racist against white folk or anything, but he’d seen it all through high school. Girls like Sofie tended to stick to their own kind. Her family was very traditional. At all the parties they’d thrown all year long, there had been mariachi bands playing traditional Spanish music. Hell they owned and ran a Mexican restaurant. If her family had a choice between the rich college Hispanic guy they’d known and trusted all their lives and the loner white boy from that house up the street where the cops were often called for domestic disturbances as a suitor for their little princess, naturally Eric was the hands-down winner.

Still, even as she’d told him about her and Eric, Brandon was convinced he saw something deep within her. There was something still there. He’d seen it in those big beautiful eyes and felt it when he’d finally kissed her last summer. She’d been as willing as he was. That’s why a few days after Sal’s visit he’d followed her to the beach where she ran. He had to make sure she didn’t believe the bullshit her brothers were trying to feed her now.

He’d gone there with a tiny bit of hope. Maybe if he got the chance he had last summer to get close to her, he could do it differently. He’d take it slower this time. He was certain he saw the possibility of her falling in love with him—the possibility that maybe he could convince her to leave Eric for him. It would be worth not reenlisting and staying here to fight for that chance. If he thought there was even the faintest hope, he’d do it in a heartbeat. So he’d offered to apologize to her brothers and to Eric—try and get on their good side so that he could at least have a chance.

Even though she assured him she never told her brothers he took advantage of her, that it was the conclusion they came to on their own, she did agree with her brothers that what she and Brandon had done was wrong, a mistake, and that he needed to stay away from her now. But her response to him wanting to try to make amends with Eric and her brothers had left him once again with uncertainty and a bit of optimism.

“The damage is done, Brandon. We had a chance to be friends, and we blew it. Eric was actually okay with me running with you until . . .”

As tiny as it was, Brandon was still clinging to that glimmer of hope—hope that maybe she was regretting having blown their chance as much as he was.

Taking another swig of the whisky, Brandon pondered that. Maybe if he told her how he felt about her, she would admit to her forbidden feelings as well. Was her response her way of cryptically trying to tell him she blew it too?

We blew it.

“We blew it,” he whispered bitterly.

But would she be saying that if she knew how he really felt? Would she be so quick to dismiss any further chance if he told her?

He sat up, his head spinning a little, and he laughed stupidly then immediately frowned. How the hell was he supposed to tell her now when he had to sneak around and follow her like a creeper just to have a conversation with her? Even she had cut him short the other day at the beach.

Flinging the pocket knife he’d been flipping open and shut across the room, he stood up. Life sucked! Out of nowhere, Sal’s words suddenly slammed into him. Stay the fuck away from Sofie, or I’m coming after you personally.

“Fuck no!” He took another swig of from the near empty bottle. “No, Sal. I won’t stay away from her, not until I tell her how I feel!”

He set the bottle down on his desk and charged out the door. The entire hallway moved from side to side as he walked through it.

“Where are you going?” His mother’s anxious eyes searched his.

“To see a friend,” he said, walking past her.

“Brandon, you’re drunk!”

For some reason that made him laugh. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

“You shouldn’t go out like this.” His mother warned.

“Don’t worry. I’m not driving,” he said as he pushed through the front door.

The cool fresh air hit him like smelling salts, and he shook his head. Until that moment, he hadn’t realized how buzzed he really was. Even drunk he knew this was a bad idea, but he continued his long strides with even more conviction. The entire cul-de-sac where Sofie lived was packed with cars. Of course, he expected nothing less. At every party her family had ever had, they’d had a ton of people. A New Year’s party for them would be huge.

There were a few men just outside her front door as he walked up the circular driveway. He recognized Sarah, Sofie’s brother Angel’s girl, tying balloons around the mailbox out front, so he approached her.

“S-sarah.”

She turned, and he actually saw the color in her green eyes pale. “Brandon?”

“Can you get S-sofie for me? I need to talk to her.”

She shook her head. “She’s not here.” Turning to the front door, she glanced back at Brandon, quickly lowering her voice. “You shouldn’t be here, Brandon.”

He knew this wouldn’t be easy, but he was determined. “I know she’s here.” His struggle to keep from slurring was pissing him off. “You guys are having a party. Where else would she be? Can you . . .? Can you just get her for me? I—” The sidewalk suddenly shifted underneath his feet, and he stumbled sideways but recovered quickly. “I need to talk to her before I leave.”

“I’m telling you the truth. She’s at the restaurant.” She gasped, looking behind him. Just as he turned, he saw Angel turn back toward the garage. “He almost saw you. You better go. I’m serious. They’re all here, and they do not want you around Sofia.”

“I’m not leaving until I talk to her.” Sarah’s eyes opened wide, and she shook her head. “They can’t do this, Sarah. When I leave, it’s forever. There are some things I need to say to her first.”

Her eyes looked even more anxious now, and she continued to speak in her lowered voice. “This is so not the time or place—”

The front door slamming against the wall as it was pushed open made Sarah flinch and got their attention. As usual, Sofie’s hotheaded brother Alex looked incensed as he charged down the porch steps. “Why the fuck are you here, Billings?” he demanded, his hands already fisted at his sides.

Brandon stood his ground. He was sure it was the alcohol, but seeing her larger-than-life raging brother charge toward him with no hesitation and knowing that he’d no doubt be in a world of pain soon didn’t stop him from speaking up. “I wanna to talk to S-Sofie.”

“You’re out of your mind!” Alex sped up.

Brandon shook his head. “I won’t leave until—”

Alex’s fist hit him just under the eye, and he stumbled back. “You won’t leave?” Alex roared as he landed another fist to Brandon’s mouth, making him fall back onto the hood of the parked car just in front of Sofie’s house. “You think I’m letting you anywhere near my sister, asshole?”

Brandon blinked, shaking his head again. He’d always thought the expression “seeing stars” was just that, an expression. But he was literally seeing stars or bright specs flashing as he continued to shake his head again, blinking as he tried to clear his sudden double vision. Just as his vision was coming together and he could see straight, he noticed the amount of people who’d poured out of Sofie’s house. Sal, Angel, and some of the other men who were out there now held Alex back, but he could see it was a struggle.

“Get out of here, Brandon!” Sal yelled as Alex nearly came loose.

Even with the metallic-like taste of blood in his mouth, Brandon knew he was asking for it by staying, but he wasn’t leaving, not until he got his chance to talk to her. “I won’t leave!” he yelled, holding himself up against the car. “I wanna see Sofie!” He slurred, pounding on the hood of the car and pointed at the house. “Get her out here!” He turned up to the window on the second floor he knew was hers. “S-sofie!”

Alex came loose suddenly, and Brandon heard Alex’s mom cry out.

“Lo va a matar!”she shrieked. “Paren lo!”

“God damn it, Alex!” Sal reached out for Alex with both hands. “He’s not worth it!”

Alex grabbed Brandon by the throat, squeezing so hard Brandon’s ability to breathe was instantly blocked.

“She’s damn right. I am gonna kill him!” Alex growled as he slammed Brandon down against the car.

Between Sal, Angel, and several of the other men there, they finally pulled Alex off Brandon, and he held on to the car for dear life, gasping for air.

“Ya pues, hijo! Calmado!” Alex’s dad tried in vain to calm him as they all held him back.

As Brandon continued to gasp and cough, he looked up at Alex. “H-hit me.” He gasped. “Hit me all you want!”

“You see. He wants me to!” Alex yelled, trying to get loose as they pulled him further away.

“I won’t leave until I talk to her,” Brandon said, rubbing his neck.

This time he said it with a little less conviction because he was beginning to feel as if he might pass out. Sal said something to Sarah, who rushed into the house.

The hope that maybe Sal had told Sarah to go get Sofie was squashed with the next words out of Sal’s mouth. “It’s not happening. Look around, Brandon.” Sal pointed at his brothers and everyone else out there. “Do you really think you’re gonna get to talk to her?”

“Like hell he is,” Alex yelled.

Brandon glanced around. It wasn’t just Sofia’s family out there anymore. Everyone who lived in her cul-de-sac was out in their front yards, watching the spectacle. Then he looked up the street and saw his mom standing there in tears with her hand over her mouth. Brandon’s shoulders slumped in defeat. As much as he felt like looking Sal in the eyes and telling him that he would talk to Sofie before he left, he wouldn’t give Sal another reason to make his mom cry.

Even as calm as Sal was acting compared to Alex and as drunk as Brandon still felt, he’d sobered up enough to know saying something like that to him right now would land another fist on his already aching face. Some of the other guys in her family looked as if they were being held back now too. Brandon couldn’t care less about the physical pain. If his mother weren’t standing there, he’d gladly get pummeled just for the satisfaction of being able to tell all these fuckers he wasn’t giving up.

Pushing himself away from the car, he stumbled on his first steps.

“Brandon,” Sal said as he walked by him, his voice slightly lower and calmer now. Brandon didn’t turn to him, but he did stop. “Do not come back. You hear me? Stay the hell away from Sofia if you know what’s best for you.”

With a humorless chuckle, Brandon continued to walk but said nothing. Both Angel and Alex yelled out similar threats, but Brandon was done listening. They couldn’t keep him from her forever.

Chapter Two

Waiting by the pharmacy for his dad’s meds, Brandon stood there, feeling numb. When he’d taken the emergency leave to come home, he’d known his dad was bad, but he had no idea things had progressed this much.

His parents hadn’t even realized it either. When they put the house up for sale, the plan was they’d all move to Georgia together. Using the money they got from their astronomically-priced California home, Brandon would buy a house in Georgia with cash. His mother would live off whatever was left from the sale and his dad’s pension. Considering the home prices in Georgia, there’d be plenty of money left over. Now his dad’s condition had taken such a turn the doctors said he was too ill to travel. The meds Brandon was picking up for him today were the last he’d ever pick up from a pharmacy for him because in a few days his dad would be admitted to a hospice where he’d live out the rest of what was left of his life.

Brandon wouldn’t even be there, since there was no way to know how long for sure his dad would be around and his leave was only temporary. Already strings had to be pulled to get a leave during the holidays on such short notice.

His reaction to seeing his dad’s condition decline so rapidly was not what he had expected. Brandon was certain he’d never felt his heart so heavy, not even through all he’d been through as a child. He’d always been able to just hold it all in and suck it up for his mom’s sake. She was going through enough as it was. She didn’t need to be brought down any lower by seeing his pain and fear.

He was determined, like all those times growing up, to be strong for his mom’s sake. Even though he’d been determined on New Year’s Eve to see and talk to Sofie, in the last few days, watching his dad deteriorate before his eyes, he needed to focus now on his parents. He needed to get his dad situated in a hospice before he left. The house needed to be sold because his dad wasn’t going to be around for long. Then he needed to step up and look after his mom as his dad had asked him to when he could still hold a conversation without going into an agonizing fit of coughing.

It was all he was focusing on now, even though a small stubborn part of him still wished he could’ve talked to Sofia one last time.

His number was called, and Brandon stepped up to pay for his father meds. He stared at the pharmacist as the man gave him some brief instructions, but Brandon barely heard anything he said. He paid and walked numbly through the store.

The moment he saw her car he froze. Sofie pulled into a parking spot and got out of her car. Brandon walked back into the store, not even sure what he’d say or how he’d approach her. All he knew was she was alone and this could be his last chance ever to speak with her.

He stood behind one of the magazine racks so she wouldn’t see him immediately and watched as she walked in and passed him. Watching, he waited until she’d stopped somewhere. When he saw her stop in the shampoo aisle, he was hit with brief reminder of how good her hair had smelled that day he kissed her. He’d come up from behind her, and, aside from how incredible it felt to have her body pressed against his, it was the first thing he’d noticed.

Gulping, he walked toward her slowly. The closer he got, the more he knew exactly what he wanted her to know. After his drunken fiasco in front of her entire family, he knew if things weren’t impossible between them before, they were now. But he still had to tell her.

“Hey, Sof,”

The moment she looked up at him she flinched. “Brandon!” Those beautiful eyes that had once smiled at him so warmly stared at him completely alarmed before looking around. “Did you follow me?”

“No, I was on my way out when I saw you pull in.”

“I can’t be around you. You have to understand—”

I know, Sof,” he said, cutting her off because he didn’t want to hear about her being so fucking forbidden to him anymore. “I just hoped I could speak with you before I left. Do you have a few minutes so we could go somewhere more private?”

“No!” She practically gasped.

Looking into her eyes this close again did something to him. She’d been the only one who could elicit these kinds of feeling in him. But now he felt something else—tortured. Any hope he had with her was gone. Yet he still needed her to hear what he had to say so he could just let it out and it wouldn’t be inside him anymore, tormenting him.

He glanced around, feeling desperate, and an emotion so unfamiliar began to overwhelm him. “Can you give me a second then, here?”

Sofia stared at him, still looking very apprehensive. “Make it fast.”

His emotions nearly betrayed him before he spoke, but he held it together and told her. “My old man is dying.”

The look of apprehension on her face was immediately replaced with that of surprise then complete sympathy. Brandon told her all about his father’s lung cancer and how they’d be selling the house. Then he apologized for all the troubles he’d caused her and grief he put her family through on New Year’s Eve.

She didn’t comment on his apology; instead, she stared at him, her eyes completely distraught, and shook her head. “I’m so sorry, Brandon. I had no idea.”

He explained he was just there to pick up his old man’s meds, showing her the bag, but that he was glad he’d run into her because there was more he needed to tell her.

Sofie stared at the bag of meds for a moment then back at him a bit confused. “Tell me what?”

It felt wrong telling her right there in the middle of a drug store. “Are you sure we can’t go somewhere else to talk?”

“No way, Brandon,” she said immediately, and he knew there was no way she was going to budge.

He’d have to tell her here or forever hold it in. “I’m in love with you, Sof.”

The moment he heard his whispered words he knew he’d made a mistake because he had to swallow back the giant-sized boulder in his throat that had been building the entire past week as he watched his dad slowly withering away. But it was too late now. It was too late to take it back, so he held it together, determined to finish. “I thought I was in high school. Last summer only confirmed it. I almost didn’t re-enlist because of that kiss.”

Her eyes welled up, but she said nothing. She didn’t have to. Her shaking head was enough, but the expression of pity on her face was just another blow to his already aching heart.

“Don’t worry. I know it’s impossible. I just needed to tell you before I left.” He swatted the one fucking tear that escaped the corner of his eye away. “I needed to say it to you if only once. I’m glad I got the chance.” He didn’t wait for her to respond. He couldn’t. He had to get out of there now, but he couldn’t resist the urge to touch her just one last time, so he reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “Good-bye, Sof.”

That was it. He couldn’t stand there for even another moment and look into those stunned eyes, eyes that said without a doubt he’d been completely wrong. She’d never felt for him what he he’d been so delusional enough to think she might.

Pushing through the front doors of the store, he nearly growled. He was infuriated that he’d been so close to losing it in front of her, something he’d vowed years ago he’d never do, not when he’d had to watch his mother suffer at the mercy of his father’s rage, not when his dad turned that same rage on him, not even when he found out his father was dying, and certainly not over feeling his heart crushed by the only girl he’d ever had feelings for.

Nothing had ever been so clear and so fast. He felt like a complete idiot now. All this time, he’d secretly been banking on the possibility that, deep inside, what he thought he felt from Sofie last summer had been real. Even when she’d taken it back just before he left again, making it clear she’d only been curious, his delusional heart was convinced she was just covering up—clearing her conscience.

The painful truth had never been so infuriatingly clear. She’d only been curious about what it’d be like to be with someone like him, someone she’d never take seriously in real life. So she’d used the opportunity with his desperate ass to indulge that forbidden curiosity.

Throwing his dad’s meds on the passenger seat, he banged on the steering wheel. He’d almost done what he held back from doing all his life—something he’d promised his dad he wouldn’t even do at his funeral—for a girl who never gave a shit about him. He’d almost broken down.

He finally understood what his father had meant all those years. That kind of deep emotion—the kind he felt suffocating his heart at that moment—was sacred. It was something that should remain deep inside. No one had a right to know you were feeling it but yourself. Showing it was a sign of weakness. That’s exactly how he felt at that moment, like the weakest most pathetic idiot on the planet. At that moment, he vowed once again he’d never let anyone—no matter what—witness this side of him again.

* * *

It wasn’t even a week after he’d reported back to Georgia when he got the call. His dad had passed, and just like that, Brandon was back on a plane to attend the services. As expected, not too many people showed up. His father had never made many friends, and as hardened and difficult as he’d become over the years, any acquaintances he did have once upon a time had distanced themselves from him long ago.

Brandon took solace in the fact that he and his dad had finally begun to actually have a real father-son relationship, even though his dad had passed too soon afterward. He and his mom would move to Georgia permanently and start all over again. Maybe now he could rekindle that bond he once had with her. His mom had been the only one in his life to ever show him love. He’d felt it from her through and through. Brandon was determined to turn his life around—take away all the negativity that had built up all these years and live a normal happy life. Now that it was just he and his mom, he knew that could happen. She’d been waiting for this change as long as he had.

Days after the services, they somberly finished packing up the U-Haul truck with all their belongings. Brandon would be driving it across the country. He wished that on such a long drive he and his mother could be in the same car. It would be a perfect way to start getting to know each other once again—talk about their new life and the neighborhoods they’d be shopping for their new home—but his mother would be driving their mini-van across the country.

Brandon had been tempted to rent a trailer and just haul the van as well, not just because he was looking to really talking to his mom but because she’d always been a nervous driver. The longest drive she’d ever made was just over two hours up north to Los Angeles. Still, she insisted she’d be fine.

“We’ll just take it nice and slow,” she smiled, squeezing his arm before getting in the van.

She wasn’t kidding about the nice and slow part. Eight hours later they’d barely made it a little past Tucson. He had a week to get back to the base. At this rate, it was going to take them twice that long.

As the clerk at the hotel they’d be staying at for the night looked up the room, Brandon leaned against the counter. “Maybe I should rent that trailer, Ma.”

“Don’t be silly. I’m fine.”

Brandon shook his head. “It’s not that. I think it would speed up the trip. I only have until Monday to report back. At the rate we’re going, it’ll be at least Thursday before we get there.”

“You think so?” His mother frowned. “We had a bad start today. Tomorrow we’ll get up super early and see how far we get. If you still think we have to by the end of the night, we can rent one.”

Exhaling, he gave in with a nod. After getting their things in their room, they left again to grab something to eat. During dinner, his mother told him about his father’s last dying wish. “Aside from the hope that someday you’d forgive him, he wanted grandchildren.”

Chuckling humorously, Brandon shook his head as he scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and ate them. He wouldn’t say it because he was determined to leave that darkness behind him. Saying that was a joke, considering what a rotten father his dad had been his whole life, would definitely darken the mood. His father had taught him nothing about being a man much less a father. While he’d be eternally grateful to his superiors in the Marines who had showed him what honor and integrity were and had turned him into the man he was now, it wasn’t enough, not enough to erase the only example of a father he’d ever had. It didn’t take away that his father’s blood ran through his veins and the fact that he may very well turn into him someday.

“He said he knows you never really got to experience what a bond between a father and a child should really be, so he wants you to experience it with your own child.”