Текст книги "Union of Sin"

Автор книги: Eden Summers

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Her heart fluttered. “I guess you still don’t get out much.”

“I get out just fine, thank you,” he growled, reaching around her back to unclasp her bra.

Her breasts fell free, tingling under the admiration of his gaze. He descended upon her, taking her hardened nipple in his mouth, lavishing it with his tongue in an intricate pattern that tore a whimper from her lips.

“I need these off.” He yanked her panties down as he moved to the other breast, paying it the same attention.

She lifted her ass off the windowsill, one hand on the frame, the other clutching his neck while he tugged the last item of clothing down her legs to fall to the floor.

“Spread your thighs,” he demanded. “One foot up on the sill.”

Her core clenched at his command. “I’m not as flexible as I used to be.”

“Sure you are. You just need the temptation of an orgasm to test yourself.”

There he was, the man who pushed her boundaries. The one who didn’t take no for an answer when it came to pleasure. She tilted her hips and lifted one foot to let it rest on the windowsill, baring herself completely.

He stepped back, taking in the sight of her, his chest rising and falling with fevered breaths. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

He sank to his knees, tearing a gasp from her throat as he roughly wove his arms around her legs and lowered his head between her thighs. He wasn’t timid. He wasn’t kind. He devoured her, his tongue lapping her sex and parting her pussy lips to taste her arousal.

She squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on the sweep of his mouth, the rough graze of stubble against her skin. His grip tightened, the dominant grasp of his hands on her thighs adding to the ease in which she submitted to him.

She was at his mercy. A mere leaf up against the harshest northern wind.

“T.J.” She reached out a hand, searching for stability and grasping nothing but air. Her pussy was throbbing. Deep down inside her, every nerve was pulsing, poised, waiting for that next brief swipe of his tongue over her clit.

Then he stopped, leaving her panting, her lungs threatening to explode as he stood and shucked his jeans. The remains of his clothes fell to the floor at his feet. He was glorious. His chest heaving, his eyes feral. He appraised her again, taking his time while his cock pulsed against the slight patch of hair leading to his naval.

“Having second thoughts?” She cocked a brow and swallowed over the dryness in her throat.

“Actually.” He cleared his throat. “I’m devoid of thought. Your beauty makes it hard to think.”

She smiled and leaned forward, swinging her arm around his neck to pull him against her body. There was the briefest moment as he lowered to kiss her, mere seconds when their passion-filled gazes collided, that their connection flung her into the past.

This was perfection.

Bliss on every level, emotional and physical.

She kissed him, hard, and moaned at the taste of her pleasure on his lips. The sun beat down on her back, but it was his chest, the skin radiating with heat that warmed her from the inside out.

She needed more of him. She needed everything.

“I have to have you.” Her ass was poised on the edge of the windowsill, his erection rubbing against her pussy.

He slid his hand between them, positioning his cock at her entrance. The briefest glide of his length over her sex made her whimper. The memories of what he could do to her already had her poised on the brink of orgasm.

He paused, no doubt trying to build anticipation she was already too aroused to appreciate, before he thrust into her, his shaft stretching muscles that hadn’t been used in a long time.

“Jesus.” His voice was guttural. “There’ll never be anyone else for me. Nobody can compare—”

“Shh.” She placed a finger on his mouth and savored the way he closed his eyes at her touch. With the tip of her finger, she rubbed his lower lip and sucked in a breath when he sank his teeth into her nail.

“Nobody.” He blinked down at her, the rhythmic movement of his hips now demanding.

She nodded, becoming breathless as one of his large hands cradled her head, the other gripping her hip. He leaned his forehead against hers, holding her gaze as he continued to make love to her. With a rhythm perfected over time, he undulated inside her. Forward, back, forward, back, each thrust grinding harder.

Her pleasure spun out of control, building with intensity she couldn’t deny. She clung to him, gripping his broad shoulder, clutching at his hair. A cry escaped her lungs as her orgasm hit—one of pleasure and despair. She was soaring, at the high of all highs, but on the other side was grief. She could already feel it seeping in—the anguish, the loneliness.

His thrusts became harsh, his guttural groan announcing his release. She would never forget the way he looked, his eyes riveted on hers, every flicker of his thoughts seeping through the emotion in his features.

Goodbye, T.J.

She placed a palm against his stubbled cheek and rocked her pelvis harder, enjoying the last diluted pulse of euphoria before it was gone forever. Slowly, he stilled, his hips no longer moving, his length buried deep inside her.

She savored his sent, his beauty, and was thankful for this one last moment together. All that was left was to move forward.

“Thank you.” She wasn’t referring to the pleasure. Her appreciation was for how they would end this—with love instead of hate.

He nodded and slid his arms around her waist to hold her close.

She wanted to remain like this forever. To continue to fight for what they had.

If only she could. He’d never give her the option.

Unfortunately, she knew his mind was made up. There was no going back. She placed her forehead against his, rubbing the pad of her thumb over masculine skin she would never lose the need to touch.

“T.J…” She cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders. “I think it’s time for you to leave.”

Chapter Sixteen

One week later.

Cassie was back to packing boxes. She’d found more of T.J.’s belongings in the cupboards of the spare bedroom. Then more in the home office. She hadn’t thought to clean out his business files or disconnect his emails from the computer until now…when her mind was finally accepting her fate.

T.J. had already changed his email password. The software would no longer download new mail. But it didn’t make the old messages disappear. There were still business emails in the inbox, a sent box full of his mail, along with messages in the deleted folder.

They needed to go. Everything needed to go.

With a glass of wine in hand, she delved through his past, making sure she wasn’t deleting anything important before permanently removing them all one by one. She tried to pretend his name wasn’t comforting. That the professional and gentlemanly way he responded to clients didn’t make her heart ache. She pretended until her head was buzzing with alcohol and her stomach grumbled for food.

Business email—delete. Business email—delete. Spam—delete. Business email—delete. Sports subscription—delete. Private message… She clicked on the latter, the subject—Private and Confidential– piquing her interest.

Thank you for your email, Scott.

I’m sorry it’s taken hours to reply. I’ll be entirely honest and say I feel responsible for the young woman’s situation.

I’d like to thank you for the files you prepared and the links you sent. I agree there is no longer a need for your services now that the man is in custody, however, before you send me the final invoice for the work completed, I’d like you to investigate whether or not I could financially compensate this woman without a trail leading back to me.

I would be grateful for any information on this matter, and as usual, your discretion is appreciated.

Tate Jackson

Cassie placed her wine glass on the table and stared blankly at the screen. A shiver of dread inched down her spine and she couldn’t deny the jealousy pooling in her stomach. Was this the information she needed to prove there was another woman? Was the compensation for a child?

She scrolled lower, hoping to read Scott’s original email below T.J.’s text. Nothing was there. Shit. She pressed print on the cryptic message and then searched for more mail sent to Scott’s address. Nothing. If there was any other mail sent to that address, T.J. had done his best to hide it.

Her heart thumped harder, the buzz of intoxication dying under fear. She’d ended her relationship with T.J. on a bittersweet note. The only way she slept at night was knowing he still loved her. There was still a tiny glimmer of hope that one day he would wake up and realize his mistake. Only now, his claims of guilt had a different context.

She navigated to the deleted folder, searched for Scott’s name. Again, nothing. There were no more emails to or from this man.

“Damn it.” She couldn’t call T.J. and ask about it. They were done. Over. She had to find more information somewhere else.

Files and links.

There had to be an internet trail. Or documents on the computer somewhere. She opened an internet browser, clicked on History and scrolled all the way back to the date on the email.

Six months ago.

She straightened, her breaths coming hard and fast. This had something to do with T.J. moving out. She knew it did. There was no evidence yet, nothing to cement her assumption. It was the ache in her bones that told her the truth.

She clutched the wine glass, took sip after sip until the website links on screen aligned with the date in the email. There were only two, with the preview text on both linking to the same news site.

Her hand shook as she clicked the first website address. Then everything in her stomach threatened to revolt when a familiar man came on screen. Haunted blue eyes, a sharp nose and oil-slicked hair. The glass slid from her hand, the base connecting with the desk and then toppling to the floor.

She couldn’t see straight. Couldn’t think. There were only memories, vivid recollections, as she blinked her eyes to focus.

Serial Rapist Back Behind Bars.

She held her breath and skimmed the article, her gaze catching on caustic words like rape, brutal, hospitalized, eight-year sentence. She pushed from the chair, stumbled back and covered her mouth to fight the nausea creeping up her throat.

Nothing could stop the onslaught assailing her. Tears fell without her permission. Her chest threatened to explode. A woman had been raped. An innocent young woman had had her life ruined by the same man who’d assaulted Cassie, and it had happened only six months ago.

She stumbled from the room and ran down the hall. Her feet stumbled as she shoved past the bathroom door to lose the contents of her stomach in a violent purge.

T.J. had known. He’d known for over six months.

Six months. Since the day he left.

“Oh God.” She retched again and closed her eyes as the tears continued to fall.

The divorce made sense now. Everything made sense with torturous clarity. The devastation of their marriage was her fault. Not only that, but a woman had been raped because Cassie hadn’t gone to the police.

She leaned back against the bathroom wall and let the sobs take over. Time passed in the measure of tears. She didn’t know how long she sat there, wasn’t sure when the sun set and darkness seeped in.

The phone had trilled its sterile call more than once. The television still mumbled from the main room, and everything inside her ached. She wasn’t sure what made her more emotional—the woman whose rape could’ve been prevented, the years of marriage that could’ve been saved, or the secrets T.J. had kept from her.

“Cassie,” his voice called to her in her mind.

She winced through the delirium and cried a little more. She didn’t deny the madness. She deserved it, and so much more.

“Cassie!”

This time, she frowned and slowly moved to her feet. His voice wasn’t a dream. He was here, unlocking her front door and stepping into her nightmare.

“Cassie!” T.J. shoved into the house, his heart pounding. He ran for the hall and pulled up short at the sight of her in the fading light. Her hair was a mess, her eyes bloodshot and skin pale. “What’s wrong?”

She blinked up at him, her forehead creasing. “What are you doing here?”

“Jan called.” He held out a hand, like he was creeping toward a frightened child. She looked fragile. Breakable. “She said she could hear you crying but you wouldn’t answer the door.”

Cassie blinked and shook her head. “I didn’t hear it.” Her voice wasn’t even the same. It was lifeless. Numb.

“Cassie…” He took another step, needing to fix whatever was broken. After sleeping with her last week, he’d vowed to stay away, but as soon as Jan called, he’d been in the car, frantic as hell to get to her side. This was what he’d feared would happen, that he would walk away to protect her but not know how she coped while they lived separate lives. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

She frowned at him, anger creeping into her expression. “You knew.” Her chest rose and fell with harsh breaths. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.” She stepped toward him, glaring. “You knew.” She shoved at his chest. “And you kept me in the dark.”

“Cassie.” He retreated, bumping into the wall as he slid backward. “What did I know?”

She gave a delirious laugh. “Everything.” She shoved again, and a tear fell down her pale cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her voice was a plea. “I deserved to know what I’d done.”

His throat closed over. “You haven’t done anything, sweetheart.”

Her face crumpled as she slammed her fists into his chest and sobbed. “I ruined all our lives.” She sucked in a manic breath. “A woman was raped.”

Everything inside him died. For a second, he stared at her. At the destruction he’d tried to avoid. At the pain he couldn’t stand to inflict. He yanked her to his chest and closed his eyes to stem his own tears.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, holding her tightly while her body shook. “It’s not your fault.”

It was his. It had started years ago, when he’d began to push the boundaries. Love required spontaneity, but he’d gone too far. Their marriage had been perfect, and he’d ruined it with the continuous desire to strive for more excitement. He’d driven her to that club. He’d held her hand as they walked through the door. And he hadn’t yanked her out of there when he’d discovered it was less than worthy of their attendance.

She’d been his responsibility, and in return, he was to blame for her suffering.

“Did you give money to the woman?” Her voice was barely a whisper.

“No.” He’d tried hard to cover his tracks, to delete phone logs and emails, but Cassie must’ve found a message from the investigator. Yet another mistake he’d made. “I wanted to. But the possibility of upsetting her because she didn’t know where the funds came from made me rethink the idea.”

Her face contorted in pain and she sucked in a breath. “Is she okay though? I mean…is she…does she have people to support her?”

No. “Yes.” Honestly, he had no clue. He couldn’t bring himself to snoop. He wouldn’t risk scaring her if she found out an investigator was following her. So he’d made his final payment to Scott six months ago and tried to leave it behind him.

She pushed back from his chest, scrutinizing him. “Why don’t I believe you?”

He winced. There were no words, only the confirmation in Cassie’s eyes that told him she hated what he’d done.

“You should’ve told me.” She shrugged off his touch and moved out of reach. “How could you keep this from me?”

“Because I didn’t want to see you go through this.”

“You withheld information of a rape, and the entire reason for our divorce, because you can’t handle my tears?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I mean you don’t deserve this. This isn’t your guilt to bear. It’s mine.”

“So I wasn’t responsible for telling the police of a crime this man committed?” Her words were filled with venom. “I couldn’t have changed that woman’s future if I’d pressed charges against her rapist well before she was raped? He could’ve been in jail sooner.”

“You never would’ve been in that club if it wasn’t for me.” He got in her face, needing her to listen to the truth. “You wouldn’t have been attacked, Cassie. There never would’ve been a cause for us to fall apart, and you wouldn’t have even known of this man’s existence. My decisions led to this. Not yours.”

“You’re wrong.” She glared at him, her puffy eyes filled with contempt. “I want you to leave.”

“I tried to save you from this, Cass.”

“I’m a grown woman.” Her voice rumbled off the walls. “I take responsibility for my own mistakes.”

“Yes. But this mistake wasn’t yours. It was his and mine.”

“Get out.” Her voice held less venom this time. “Just go, T.J.” Her shoulders slumped, all the fight and fury vanishing.

“Cass, please. This isn’t your fault. You aren’t to blame.”

“No?” She raised a brow. “Then why keep it from me? Why end our marriage if not because you’re disgusted by my actions.”

“Why?” She knew so much, yet so little. “Because I no longer deserved to kiss you when there were secrets between us. I couldn’t stand to look at you knowing I withheld the truth, and I couldn’t sleep in our bed knowing that woman could’ve easily been you. I’ve told you all along, my guilt made it hard to be close to you.”

“Well, your guilt is misguided. And to think you see me as someone weak and incapable of making my own decisions disgusts me.” She looked away and sighed. “I don’t know who you see when you look at me, T.J., but it’s definitely not the woman I am.”

“I know you.” He knew her better than himself. She was beautiful. Kind. Nurturing. Above all, she had a heart that felt the pain of others far worse than her own.

“You don’t.” She shook her head and walked away. “You don’t believe in my strength. You don’t think I’m capable of making my own decisions. So I guess this divorce is for the best after all. I finally agree we’re better apart.”

“You don’t mean that.” She was in shock. Getting over this news would be the hardest struggle she’d had to endure, and he couldn’t stand to let her face it on her own. “Let me stay with you a while.”

“No.” She stopped at the end of the hall, her breathtaking silhouette making his chest ache. “All those nights I wished you were here, holding me. Now I’m thankful I’m not stuck in a toxic marriage.” She strode out of view, taking his heart with her. “Make sure you lock the door on the way out.”

Chapter Seventeen

T.J. was pacing. Again. It seemed that was all he did lately. Each day, he walked miles in the same spot, trying to drive away the image of Cassie. Not only was she haunting his dreams, she was now terrorizing his every waking breath.

“You summoned us,” Leo drawled, his frame coming into view from the threshold of the Shot of Sin office.

“Again.” Brute shouldered his way into the room.

Shit. His heart was in his throat, his pulse a rapid beat, his palms sweating. He couldn’t stop the fear that throbbed through his veins, telling him he was making the wrong choice by continuing with the divorce. The apprehension increased with every passing second that neared the day he would legally sever himself from his wife.

“What’s the reason for the meeting this time?” Brute scowled. “Apart from the need to re-carpet the office due to you wearing down the pile.”

T.J. planted his feet, fighting the urge to keep moving. He’d kept track of Cassie every day since she’d found the lone email he should’ve deleted. Jan was keeping an eye on her, Shay too, and every spare second he had was spent doing drive-bys past his old house in an effort to feel close to her. He’d called a time or two, exchanged a few guilt-filled words, but she never wanted to talk. She was moving on, and doing a better job of it than he was.

“I think I’m making a mistake.” He ran a shaky hand over his jaw. He hadn’t been able to say the words aloud all week. Only the panic wouldn’t stop. His chest was pounding with each tick of the clock.

“Which one?” Leo raised a superior brow and sank into the sofa opposite the office desk.

T.J. shook his head. This was a mistake. It was nerves. Indecision. Obviously, he’d have to experience some form of chaotic regret as the time dwindled to doomsday. What he was feeling was only natural… Right? “Just forget it, okay?”

He had less than forty-eight hours to get through. Relief would come once the divorce was final. Cassie would start to drift from his mind once they were legally separated. She had to.

“Spit it out,” Brute grated. “I’ve got suppliers to call and wages to pay.”

T.J. closed his eyes and rubbed the tension from his forehead. His friends were going to be pissed. They deserved to be after what he’d put them through.

“I think going ahead with the divorce is a mistake.” He glanced at Brute, winced at his furious expression and then turned his focus to Leo. “She knows the truth now. There’s nothing left to hide. It’s only my guilt keeping me away, and I don’t think that’s enough anymore.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Brute stared at him, deadpan.

“I don’t know.” It was the truth. He couldn’t think straight anymore. His conscience was aware that leaving Cassie was the right option. But his heart? His soul? Every part of his chest that pounded all day long? They all told another story. They pushed him to go after her and make sure she was coping with the news.

“You’re joking, right?” Leo asked. “You’ve already dragged her to hell and back, and now you want to do it again?”

“I don’t know.” That was the problem. He couldn’t decide. “I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if this is cold feet, or if it’s intuition telling me I need to change my mind before it’s too late.”

“It could be your menstrual cycle.” Leo crossed his arms over his chest and sank back into the sofa. “You’ve been majorly moody lately.”

“You’re one to talk,” Brute interrupted. “I seem to recall putting up with the same shit when you were having problems with Shay.”

“Point taken.” A grin stole across Leo’s face. “So what do you need from us?”

T.J. shrugged. “Just tell me I’m doing the right thing. Tell me I can’t go back and beg her forgiveness.”

“In that case…” Leo cringed. “I think you’re right.”

“That case?”

“If the aim is to stop her from hurting, I’d let her go. She’s recovering better than you’d expected. She’s going to counseling, and Shay is always over there doing girlie things. She’s not dying without you.”

But he was dying without her.

“You’re wasting our time,” Brute grated. “You don’t want the truth. You want us to stroke your guilty conscience and make you feel better. You want us to placate you and come up with suggestions that will never be better than the option to cut and run.”

True. All of it was true.

“But if you’re looking to punish yourself, I’ll give you my honest opinion.” Brute’s frown increased. “You’re a fucking idiot for taking her to that club and leaving her alone. But most of all, you’re a fucking idiot for letting her go. I know it, Leo knows it and so do you.”

“She never asked for this lifestyle or the depravity that skirts the boundaries of what we do. And what if I hurt her again? What if I fuck up?”

“You’re worried about making another mistake?” Brute scoffed. “Don’t. If you fuck her over again doing some stupid, irresponsible shit, you won’t have time to deal with her pain, because I’ll fuck you up myself.” Brute spoke without a hint of humor. Not even a glimpse.

His friend would do exactly as promised and not spare a thought.

“You fucked up once, give yourself a break,” Leo added. “But if you fuck up twice, I won’t save you from Shay. I promise she’ll be more of a threat than Brute.”

“I’ll never hurt her again,” he promised. He’d die before he caused her more tears.

“No.” Brute raised his voice. “Hurting her is inevitable. It’s how relationships work. Don’t even think you can go back to her and treat her like glass. If you do go crawling back, do right by her. Treat her exactly the way she wants to be treated, not the way you think she deserves. Her fragility is your issue, asshole, not hers.”

Asshole. That was as close to an endearment as T.J. would get from Brute.

“You both know I love her more than life,” he murmured.

Brute smiled, all teeth, no charm. “And you know I’ll gladly take her off your hands the next time you mess up.”

T.J. rolled his eyes and focused on Leo. “Any more words of wisdom from you?”

“Yeah, you’re running out of time.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Tomorrow’s the last day before the divorce is finalized.”

Leo winced. “Yeah, tomorrow’s also the day Shay takes your wife out for a night in the city to help her move on.”

Goddamn it. That kick-started his heart into next Tuesday. “Are you serious?”

Leo inclined his head. “Deadly serious. And from the look of the outfit Shay picked out for Cass, she won’t be going home alone.”