Текст книги "Bang"

Автор книги: E. K. Blair

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Текущая страница: 11 (всего у книги 21 страниц)

“HONEY.”

“Yeah?” I say as I grab a few more dress shirts from Bennett’s closet and walk back out into the bedroom to pack them in his garment bag.

“I wanted to talk to you about Baldwin. I’ll need to continue taking him with me for my trips to Dubai. I just want to make sure you’re okay with that.”

“We discussed this before, and I told you I’m fine. But why do you need to take him with you?” I ask.

“The laws there are strict, and I like having him to keep an eye on everything,” he explains. “It’s just safer that I’m not alone.”

After zipping up his bag, I walk over to him and ask as I wrap my arms around his waist, “Should I be more worried about you?”

“No. I don’t want you to worry about a thing, which is why Baldwin will be traveling with me.”

“Just you saying that already has me worried.”

“It’s just, last I was there, a situation arose with a couple who shared a cab that was staying at the same hotel as me. It made me realize how much I didn’t know about the laws there,” he tells me and then leads me over to one of the chairs that sit next to the windows.

“What happened?” I ask as he takes a seat and pulls me down on his lap.

“They were friends sharing a cab and they got arrested. According to the driver, they were holding hands and kissed, which I found out was against the law unless you’re married. The bellman who brought my bags to the room told me that they would most likely go to prison for the indiscretion. So, I just want the added security measures around me while I’m there on the jobsite, that’s all.”

Shaking my head, I remark, “That’s crazy.”

“I know I had mentioned you coming with me, but I don’t think that would be a good idea. I’d worry too much, so I think it’s best that you stay put here, where I know you’re safe.” He runs his hand through my hair, adding, “I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if anything ever happened to you.”

“Baby, nothing’s going to happen to me. I’ll stay here and wait for you,” I tell him and then add with a smile, “impatiently.”

He laughs and brings me in for a kiss.

“So what are your plans for the next few days while I’m gone?” he questions.

“I need to stop by the Tribune Tower to meet with Mr. Bernstein about that social piece I was approached about writing.”

“Did you decide to do it then?”

“I think so. I mean, it’ll be great exposure for the charities we work with. I figured we could use this opportunity to get the word out about some of the smaller foundations we are affiliated with,” I explain. “I know I’m not a writer or anything, but I can try, right?”

“I’m proud of you, you know that? Plus, you’ll have an editor, but I have no doubt that you’re fully capable of writing a great article.”

“Well, the least it will do is keep me busy while you’re gone.”

“Three days. It’s only three days,” he says with a grin.

“Yeah. Three days and then you leave a few days after that,” I tell him with a soft poke to his ribs, which causes him to laugh and nuzzle his head into the crook of my neck, giving me a couple nips.

We continue to talk and be close until Baldwin calls with the car, and Bennett and I say our goodbyes for the next few days while he’s in Miami on business. Once he’s gone, I go to check my phone, wondering if Declan has tried contacting me, but I have no new messages. It’s been several days since the incident in the bathroom at the New Year’s Eve party, and I haven’t had any contact with him since. But now that Bennett is gone, I make the decision to drive over to his loft.

I distract myself when Clara comes over, helping her in the kitchen, preparing meals for the week. We share a glass of wine, and I fill her in on the party and we talk about her daughter’s wedding that is coming up in a few months. When everything is prepped, labeled, and placed in the freezer, she says goodnight and I take a quick shower to freshen up.

I dress casually, leaving my thick, red hair in loose waves and dabbing on a touch of makeup. I prep myself on the drive over to River North with how I plan on approaching Declan, needing to play heavily on his emotions to pull him into what he will assume is just your everyday affair. So I listen to a few songs that aid me in my doleful mood, and as I pull up to Declan’s building a little after nine, I breathe a sigh of relief when I look up to the very top to see the lights on in his place.

Giving myself a last look in the rearview mirror, I walk into the building and buzz for Declan on the intercom.

“Who is it?” his voice questions through the speaker.

“It’s me,” I say softly.

I have to wait a few silent moments before his voice responds, “I’ll be right down.”

Since you need a card to get to his floor, I wait for him by the elevator. When it finally opens, and Declan steps out towards me, I do as I planned and simply stand there, staring at him, willing the tears to bathe my eyes, until he finally speaks, “What are you doing here?”

With a subtle shrug of my shoulders, my voice trembles when I respond, “I don’t know.”

He closes the space between us, cupping my cheeks in his hands, but I don’t give him a chance to say anything when my vision blurs with unshed tears and I weakly say, “I want to be mad at you. For what you did the other night. But . . . for some reason I can’t bring myself to hate you.” My head falls to his chest, and he holds me tight in his arms when I add, “I just . . . I’m scared, but I want to be here with you.”

He presses his lips to the top of my head, and with me tucked in his arms, he moves us to the elevator and holds me the whole way up to his loft. When the doors open, he leads me across the room and over to the same couch we sat on the other week, next to the already burning fireplace. I curl up next to him, resting my head on his shoulder when he finally breaks the silence, saying, “The last thing I want is for you to hate me, Nina.”

“Then what was that in the bathroom?”

“Me.”

Lifting my head, I see the creases in his forehead, but his look is solid when he says, “I won’t apologize.”

With a faint nod of my head, I whisper, “Okay.”

“Like I told you, I don’t have the softest touch. I don’t want you to mistake that for a lack of feeling, because I won’t deny that I already feel strongly about you.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know,” he states softly.

“Do you?”

His thumb runs along my cheekbone when he says, “I won’t ever do anything to hurt you.”

“But . . . Bennett . . .”

“He doesn’t need to know anything until you’re ready to say something. He doesn’t exist here, here in my home. It’s just you and me,” he tells me before his lips touch mine in a soft kiss. A very un-Declan-like kiss. He’s gentle, and when I reach up to touch his face, he grabs my wrist in his hand and hoists me on top of his lap. My legs straddle his hips, and his erection is evident as it presses between my legs.

His hands quickly find my breasts, and he squeezes them achingly hard as I sink my fingers into his hair, fisting it in my hands. When I tug at the roots, he growls in my mouth and lifts up my top. I raise my arms in an invitation, which he accepts as he pulls off my sweater. And in a fluid movement, he stands up with my body clung to his, legs wrapped around his hips, and he walks us down the hall and into his master suite.

The room is dark, lit only by the lights of the city below. My back falls against the soft bedding when he lays us down. His mouth is all over me, dragging down my neck, over the swell of my breasts, to the dip of my navel. He unhooks my pants and slips them off my legs, along with my shoes. I look up at him as he stands over me, peering down as I lie here in my bra and panties. Slowly, he starts working the buttons on his shirt before tossing it across the room. His shoulders and arms are roped in muscle. His smooth chest is nothing but hardened, accentuated slabs that define his broad build and narrow to a deep-cut V, sinking down into his pants.

He starts to undo his leather belt, and when he slips it from the loops of his slacks, he grips it firmly in both of his hands as if he’s about to make use of it. Suddenly I run cold, and ask hesitantly as I sit up, “What’re you gonna do?”

“Don’t ask me questions, Nina.”

My eyes lock on the leather belt, and I begin to feel nauseous at the thought of it, at the thought of being tied up in a closet for days, at the thought of being beaten and the snapping of leather as it slices into the skin of my back, at the thought of being choked with a leather belt while forced to suck my foster dad’s dick. I can’t tear my eyes away from the tight hold he has on his belt and the spiraled veins in his arms. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart in my ears, and I take a hard swallow.

“Look at me,” he says, and I can’t hide the fear that I’m sure is splayed across my face. “I meant what I said, I’ll never hurt you, but I’m not like most guys.”

I nod. I don’t know what else to do because I can’t lose him when I’ve finally come this far.

“I like control. Do you understand what that means?” he questions in an even tone as I shift my attention to his eyes.

“I don’t want you to hurt me.”

He steps between my legs and touches my face. “This isn’t about pain, Nina. This is about trust. Do you trust me?”

I don’t trust anyone, but I give him the word anyway. “Yes.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

Those two words, I’ve heard them so many times from that piece of shit, Carl. He’d always say them to me when I would make him come. No one has ever said those words to me since him, until right now. And I know this is going to destroy me, but what other choice do I have? So I play the part and give him a soft smile when all I want to do is vomit.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathes and then leans down to kiss me, sliding his tongue past my lips, tasting me deeply. He reaches around and unclasps my bra with ease. It’s then that he kneels between my thighs, running his hands over my knees and up my legs while he sucks my pert nipple into his hot mouth. His tongue swirls around before he bares his teeth, pulling more of my breast into his mouth and biting down, making me whimper as his teeth sink in to the supple flesh.

In a quick move, he thrusts my legs wide open and drops his head to my center, taking my pussy in his mouth, licking me through the lace of my panties and then grazing his teeth along my mound as he pulls away to take a lingering look before standing up.

“Do you have any idea how sweet you taste or what it’s like for me to look at you like this?”

“Declan,” I sigh at the same time he tells me, “Lie back.”

I do as he instructs and he takes my hip, flipping me over onto my stomach. In forceful movements, he grabs my arms, bringing them behind my back, and I feel the cool leather binding around them, above my elbows, in a painful restraint. With a sharp jerk of the belt, my shoulder blades pinch together, and all the slack disappears as the leather bites into my skin in an unrelenting vice, which there is no getting out of as he loops the belt and then fastens it. My heart trills in my throat, and my heavy breathing is prevalent. But it’s when I begin releasing panicked noises into the sheets that a ribbon of breath heats my ear as he presses his lips to its shell and gives me a quiet, “Shhh, baby. Trust me.”

He brushes my hair back as I lie there with the side of my face resting on the bed. I give him a nod, but everything in me is telling me that this is going to be too much. And then he’s off the bed, grabbing my hips and lifting my ass up in the air, propping me on my knees with my chest still on the mattress. He yanks my panties down to my knees, and then his hands spread my ass open before his mouth is on my bare pussy. The wetness of his tongue gently laps over my clit while his hands roughly squeeze my butt, and when he wraps his lips around my nub and sucks, he brings a hard hand down, smacking my ass. I yelp in pain, lying there like some animal, helpless at the hands of someone else, and I’m taken back to the fucking basement I never wanted to think about, but I’m there, on that filthy mattress being humiliated by my foster dad.

My eyes squeeze shut, and I will every ounce of effort to disengage, to think about anything other than what’s happening, but Declan makes it impossible when he slips his tongue inside of my pussy as he drags his fingers along the crease of my ass, forcing me to tense up. He then takes that hand, reaches under me, and grabs my breast, pinching my nipple between his fingers as he continues to fuck me with his mouth. I try to focus on the ache in my arms, but he grasps my attention when he takes his mouth off my pussy, grabs ahold of the belt, and pulls me back, lifting my chest off the bed, so that I’m now sitting on my heels. Turning my head to him, he offers me his mouth, saying, “Taste yourself,” and then kisses me, caressing my tongue with his.

I want to scream for him to stop because I don’t want to be doing this with him, but I don’t. I force myself to think about what I’m using him for, what I need him to do for me. The words you can do this, you can do this repeat over and over in my head, but there’s an intensity with Declan that I haven’t experienced with a man before. It’s easy to shut down with Bennett, but Declan has a power that keeps me in the moment, making the escape near impossible.

Pulling away from our kiss, he says, “Tell me what you want. Ask for it.”

“I want you,” I lie.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Fuck me.”

“Ask me,” he demands and the request irks the shit out of me, but I swallow the irritation.

“Will you please fuck me, Declan?”

Rounding his hand over my butt and down between my legs, he sinks his finger inside of my pussy, asking, “You want it here?” with his face pressed to the side of mine, his chest against my back.

“Yes.”

“I want to hear you say it,” he requests, and I just wish he would stop fucking talking so I can at least attempt to go numb.

“Please, Declan. Just fuck me. I want you inside of me. I want to feel you in my pussy. I want all of you filling me up,” I tell him, giving him all the words I feel he wants to hear so that we can get this over with.

And with that, I hear his pants hit the floor from behind me as I sit on my knees, waiting for his next move, and then it comes.

His hand grabs a fist of my hair as he shoves my face back down into the mattress. Letting go, he widens my knees, ass up, and then gives my pussy one last lick before he buries himself balls deep into my core, forcing me to slip forward on the bed. He quickly grabs my wrists that are stationed at the small of my back and holds them firmly with one hand while the other fists the belt.

I turn my head face down in the bed, and do what I can to disengage, but his voice keeps penetrating me as he talks, forcing me to tell him that I want him, that I want this, that I like this, that it feels good. I can’t escape. I’m in the moment. I’m never in the moment, but right now, I’m in the goddamn moment, and the churning of my stomach begins to rouse into a disgusting rumble of bile I pray stays down.

“Let go, Nina. Stop fighting me,” he says, as if he knows I’m trying with everything I have not to come. My body is so tense; I’m an idiot to think he can’t feel it. He’ll know if I fake it, but I keep fighting anyway. “Don’t fight me,” he hisses, his accent thickening as his desire grows. He then reaches around, dragging the wetness up to my clit, and starts massaging in slow, torturous circles. He has no idea he’s destroying everything inside of me.

I hold my breath and bite down hard. I can’t deny him what he’s demanding. He’ll ask too many questions, questions I can’t ever answer for him, so I give in and allow him to give me the repulsive pleasure I hate to feel. It builds along with the bile, and when his cock swells inside of me with his oncoming release, I break. And out of nowhere, he makes a tender gesture when he laces his fingers with mine and holds my hand while I come. The orgasm takes over my body in ripples of fiery explosions that shoot through every inch of me. I can’t suppress the moans that rip out of me, humiliating me, and then they’re joined with Declan’s as his orgasm mirrors mine. The feel of his cock throbbing inside of me as my walls spasm around him prolongs the release I wish would stop, but it quakes through me, holding me hostage to the man behind me. Our hands locked tightly together the whole time, as if he knows how hard this is for me and this is his way of offering a gentle support.

A second later, he lets go of me, and with fast hands, releases his belt from my arms, and they drop lifelessly to the bed as his body collapses on top of mine. I can’t look at him. I can’t even open my eyes. As my orgasm fades away, the pleasure between my legs remains as a reminder as to what just happened. I have to pull my shit together—fast—as Declan shifts to my side and brings me into his arms.

I tuck my knees up, and when I do, he cradles me in his hold, humming into my ear. I focus on his sounds to calm my racing heart and queasy gut. Taking in slow, deep breaths, I wonder how I’m going to get through sex with him again. I’m too exposed—too alive—too hot—too ripe—too present. I want to cry, but I don’t, so I lay my head on Declan’s chest and selfishly take the comfort he’s offering because I don’t have any other options here. He holds me, soothing me with the lull of his hums as I listen to his steadying heartbeat.

“Talk to me,” he requests.

“I don’t feel like talking.”

“I need you to talk to me. Tell me why you were fighting me.”

“I wasn’t,” I try to deny.

Turning on his side to face me, he wraps his hand behind my knee and drapes my leg over his hip, bringing us closer, when he says, “I felt you, Nina. I need you to talk to me. Did I scare you?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Did I hurt you?”

Yes.

“No.”

“Then what?” he asks softly with worry etched in the lines of his face.

Trying to relieve whatever is running through his head, I wrap my arms around his neck, hug him close, and tell him, “You’re just really intense, and I guess . . . yeah . . . maybe you scared me a little.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, shifting his forehead to rest against mine. “Look at me.”

When I open my eyes, his are peering into mine, noses together, so close.

“I never want to scare you. I never want to hurt you. I only want to be close with you, but this is the only way I know how to be.”

“You don’t have to apologize for who you are,” I faintly breathe. “This. Being here in your arms. I’ve never felt more safe. So just hold me, okay?”

And he does, for a long time, while I try to get my head straight. We just hold each other, and then after a while, he takes my hand, and licks my palm before kissing it and then presses it to his chest.

“You consume me, you know that?”

I shake my head, saying, “I assumed I annoy you most of the time.”

“You do,” he laughs. “Your smart mouth irritates me, but it’s also something I love about you. You don’t take my shit, and I like that. But at the same time, I need you to be able to take my shit. I’m demanding and stubborn; that’s not something I’m willing to change because I thrive on control.”

“Why?”

He releases a deep breath, telling me, “Let’s not talk about why. Not tonight.”

“One day?”

“One day, darling,” he says as he pulls me in closer to his naked body. “Can you stay with me tonight?”

“Mmm hmm. Bennett’s in Miami for a few days. I’m yours until he gets back.”

Leaning his head back to look me dead on, his voice is acid when he says, “No.”

“No?”

“You’re mine regardless of where he is. Here or not. I don’t play well with others.”

I hesitate for a second and then say, “It’s not that simple. He’s not like he appears, Declan.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s just . . . It’s not easy.”

When he shakes his head in confusion, I repeat on a hush, “It’s just not that easy.”

His lips lightly brush over mine in a sweeping kiss, and I can taste the ice of his breath when he whispers, “I don’t expect anything with you to be easy, but that’s not enough to stop me from having you.”

And with those words, I kiss him, allowing him to feast on my sugary poison. He may have a power over me in bed, one that will no doubt cause me suffering, but in the end, I’ll take the pain because I know I’ll be able to destroy him enough to save myself, to give me everything that was stolen from me when I was five years old.