Текст книги "How to Be a Pirate"

Автор книги: Cressida Cowell

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"We can still find it," said Alvin urgently, trying to peer into the water below him. "It's down there somewhere, the ground isn't far beneath me. HELP ME everybody, and we shall live like kings. ..."

"Oh belt up, you madman," snapped Fishlegs.

"We haven't got time," interrupted Hiccup. "This really is our lucky day. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this air pocket is getting smaller."

Hiccup was right.

The air pocket was getting smaller.

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17. HOW BAD COULD THIS DAY GET?

The "ceiling" was definitely nearer to their heads than it had been a few minutes before. It was now just a few inches above the horns on Hiccup's helmet.

There was silence for a second. Alvin's mad eyes swam back into focus again. The only thing that mattered more to him than the treasure was the preservation of his own life.

Hiccup found everyday life rather a trial but was always good in a crisis. "RIGHT," he said, "Toothless, I want you to swim out from under this boat and see whether you think we're too far to swim to tie surface. HOW," he added, as Toothless seemed to be taking his time about it.

[Image: Fishes.]

"Okay, okay," grumbled Toothless, "k-k-k-keep your horns on ...."

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The little dragon dived underneath the water and disappeared. He left the Vikings in nearly total darkness, for without the friendly light of his glowing eyes it was almost impossible to see. There was an eerie silence, apart from the lapping of the water against the sides of the boat, and a faint rushing noise, which Hiccup was sure was the sound of the air leaving the air pocket like a leaking balloon.

And indeed, after five minutes the air pocket had reduced so much that Hiccup's head was squashed against the wooden "ceiling" of the Lucky Thirteen, and he had to remove his helmet.

Alvin was panicking. "Where is the wretched reptile?" he hissed, and then choked as water sloshed into his mouth.

"That wretched reptile," scolded Fishlegs, as terrified as Alvin but bravely trying not to show it, "is trying to save your wretched life. ..."

Five minutes more and they had to turn their heads in order to keep their nostrils clear of the water. "If Toothless takes any longer," thought Hiccup, "we're going to drown here in this blackness. ..."

Two lights flickered in the dark below him.

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It was Toothless, swimming up towards them in the nick of time.

"Okay," said Toothless. "Surface t-t-too far away for h-h-h-h-humans ... hut there's a c-c-c-c-cave thingy.... F-f-follow Toothless...."

"Just hang on to me, Fishlegs, and kick like crazy," ordered Hiccup, because, of course, Fishlegs could not swim.

[Image: Fishes.]

Hiccup took a huge breath, just before the sea swallowed up the last remains of that air pocket, and dived after Toothless.

He had to swim underneath the rim of the boat, which was resting on some large rocks on the bottom.

He swam out into total darkness, which was very confusing. A little way above him, he could see

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that Toothless was swimming towards a small hole in the cliff, with light shining out of it. Trying to ignore the panicky feeing of his breath running out, and hampered by Fishlegs gripping on to one leg, he swam as fast as he could towards the hole. Once he had swum into it, he shot upwards through a short tunnel and surfaced in a huge pool of water at the bottom of a gigantic underground cavern, gasping for air.

A second or so later, Alvin emerged to lie in the water beside Hiccup and Fishlegs.

The cavern was huge, and surprisingly light, considering it was so far underground. The eerie green light seemed to be given off by Electricsquirms, a tiny dragon-like creature that glows with phosphorescence. Water rushed down the walls and dripped from the ceiling.

Hiccup was so relieved to be still alive and in the air again that this tomb of a cavern initially seemed like home. It was a while before his scared brain could focus on the fact that they weren't safe yet.

"Right," said Fishlegs, trying not to panic and wringing out his breeches and flapping his arms to get dry. "How are we going to get out of HERE?"

The cavern had some interesting rock

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formations, if Hiccup had been in the mood for admiring them. The weird shapes of fossilized dragons were caught in the stone. Some of them were very unusual, extinct species. However, even the discovery of an entire skeleton of the Burrowing Slitherfang, so rare that it was often thought never to have existed, failed to excite Hiccup as it might have done in other circumstances.

They walked round and round in circles for about an hour and a half, looking for a way out, before realizing that there wasn't one. They sat down.

Without his Tribe around him, and facing Death, Alvin seemed to have returned to his old, pleasant self again. He even apologized for getting them into this mess.

"I just cannot believe this," moaned Fishlegs, shivering violently. "It's like some sort of NIGHTMARE. I keep thinking we're safe, and then it seems that, NO, we're in some OTHER life-threatening situation even worse than the one we've just got away from."

"Okay," admitted Hiccup, trying to keep them from despairing, "it doesn't look good, but I'm sure I can think of a way out of here...."

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Toothless was sniffing away at the back of the cavern, and he interrupted, calling out, "Toothless can smell something m-metal over h-h-here!"

"Very clever, Toothless," said Hiccup, "but tie Treasure Hunt is over now."

"I mean," continued Fishlegs, "so far today we have narrowly escaped being 1. Torn to pieces by Skullions. 2. Eaten by Cannibal Outcasts. 3. Burned to death on board ship. 4. Drowned at the bottom of the ocean.... And now here we are, trapped in an inaccessible underground cavern facing DEATH BY

SLOW STARVATION.... It's just been a REALLY BAD day."

"N-n-not metal after all," Toothless called back in disappointment. "It's just a d-d-door....."

"A DOOR??" Alvin, Hiccup and Fishlegs scrambled up and over towards Toothless, with a sudden surge of hope.

Once they had scrabbled away at all the dust and earth covering it, they found it was a door. It was surprising they hadn't noticed it before.

"Is it a way out?" gasped Fishlegs.

"Not necessarily," Hiccup replied slowly.

A door with a DEATH'S HEAD painted on it.

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A door with lettering on it that was horribly familiar to Hiccup.

Large, scrawling letters gouged out of the surface of the wood, probably with a sword.

"DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR," it said, "UNLESS YOU ARE THE TRUE HEIR TO 6RÎMBEARD THE GHASTLY I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME, DEATH AND DESTRUCTION AND OTHER TRULY AWFUL THINGS WILL FOLLOW IF YOU OPEN THIS DOOR. THIS IS A PIRATE'S PRIVATE PERSONAL PROPERTY"

Hiccup looked straight into the suddenly glittering eyes of Alvin the Treacherous. All the pleasantness had fallen away from him again.

He raised his arm with the Stormblade fixed into it.

Alvin didn't need to say anything.

Hiccup knew what he wanted.

"Ohhhhh no," said Hiccup, backing slowly away, "I'm not going to open this door."

"Oh, but you are, " smiled Alvin the Treacherous, resting the point of the Stormblade right in the center of Hiccup's chest.

"But I'm not the Heir to Grimbeard the Ghastly," Hiccup protested. "Snotlout is the Heir.

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He's the one who found the treasure, remember the riddle?"

"Ah, but was that the real treasure that Snotlout found?" asked Alvin. "Perhaps Grimbeard put it there as a decoy, to make people think they'd found the real treasure, when all along it was lying here. What better hiding place than a cavern accessible only by water? And if that wasn't the real treasure, that means Snotlout isn't necessarily the True Heir to the Hairy Hooligans."

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"Well, that's a relief, in any case," said Fishlegs, trying to lighten the tension.

"YOU are the True Heir," said Alvin quietly. "When I asked on the Lucky Thirteen who was the Heir to the Hairy Hooligans, who stood up? YOU did. Not Snotlout. This has all been a Test, set by Grimbeard the Ghastly and Fate herself. Only now does the riddle make sense. For what have we just escaped from, but a watery grave?"

"And WHOSE Beast has just sniffed out this door? YOUR Beast."

"S-s-see?" said Toothless. "Toothless is better s-s-sniffer than Fireworm."

"YOU are the True Heir to the Hairy Hooligans, Hiccup," said Alvin. "And so only YOU can open this door and live."

"But I don't want to open this door," said Hiccup. "If you give me enough time I'm sure I can get us out of here without opening it. What about the booby traps? You open Grimbeard's coffin and you lose your right hand.... We open Grimbeard's treasure chest and it triggers a smell that wakes up the Skullions.... I KNOW that if we open this door something REALLY UNPLEASANT is going to

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happen, sure as fish eggs are fish eggs. And the surprises are getting WORSE, if anything."

"I forgot to mention," said Alvin silkily, "if you don't open the door, you DIE."

He pressed the Stormblade forward a bit so that it pierced the skin just above Hiccup's heart.

"Let me get this straight," said Hiccup, "if I do open this door, you WON'T kill me or my friends?"

"I promise," said Alvin, "word of a Treacherous."

"Word of a Treacherous ... ," groaned Fishlegs. "It says it all really.... He'll kill us as soon as he has the treasure ... if there is any treasure behind that door...."

"But otherwise he's going to kill us now," Hiccup pointed out. "I haven't got a lot of choice."

Hiccup leaned forward, biting his lip, and slid the heavy iron bolt to the left.

"NOT a good idea, NOT a good idea, NOT A GOOD IDEA," repeated Fishlegs and Toothless to themselves, closing their eyes.

Hiccup slowly opened the door....

cr-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-k....

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Alvin, Fishlegs, Hiccup and Toothless stood there, their mouths flopping open and shut like fish in their astonishment.

The door had opened on to another GIGANTIC cavern. This was filled to the brim with more treasure than you could possibly imagine in your wildest dreams, even were you as greedy as Alvin himself.

So indescribably beautiful was this treasure that it drew them into the room like a magnet.

It was all piled up on top of itself in crazy giant mountains. Mound after mound of golden coins with Caesar stamped on one side and Neptune on the other. Heap after heap of rubies fat and ripe as scallops and emeralds green as a mermaid's eye. Gorgeous silver cups with seahorses galloping delicately around them and golden necklaces as plump as oysters and swords as sharp as a conger's tooth with octopus tentacles winding themselves around the hilt.

It was the sort of treasure you could get lost in, and forget yourself and your mind and this world at all.

"Oh my," breathed Alvin the Treacherous, stepping forward. "Oh my, my, my ..." And he reached out to grasp a cup, a glorious golden goblet, perfectly

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round in shape, with dolphins playing around the rim, so beautifully carved that it looked as if they were alive and leaping in a miniature golden sea.

Toothless, Hiccup and Fishlegs recollected where they were, and slowly backed towards the open door while Alvin was so preoccupied.

But Alvin caught a glimpse of them out of the corner of his eye, and he stretched out and shut the door with the point of the Stormblade.

"Nobody leaves the cavern without asking Alvin," he said.

"Now, Alvin," said Hiccup nervously, "remember your promise. If I opened the door, you said you'd let us all live."

"Ye-e-e-e-s-s-s," said Alvin, considering the cup again, and then dropping it softly back on the pile. "The thing is, Outcasts don't always keep promises to other people. I blame our upbringing. My mother never really loved me, you know. But I always keep promises I make to MYSELF. And long ago, when that coffin lid snapped down and chopped off my hand, I made myself a very solemn promise indeed."

Alvin's pleasant eyes narrowed, and he sidled towards Hiccup like a predatory crab. "It's not that

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I dislike you personally, Hiccup, but I swore to myself," said Alvin, still smiling, "that I would FIND Grimbeard's precious Treasure, and I would KILL his precious Heir. That's fair, isn't it, an Heir in exchange for a hand?"

And he made a vicious swipe at Hiccup with the Stormblade.

Hiccup dodged out of the way in the nick of time. He leapt nimbly onto the nearest mound of treasure and started scrambling up it.

[Image: Toothless to the rescue!.]

"And with Grimbeard's own precious sword, too," chuckled Alvin. "Isn't fate ARTISTIC?"

"TOOTHLESS!" yelled Hiccup. "Get me a SWORD!"

Alvin climbed after him and made another wild lunge at his head.

Hiccup ducked behind a large golden chariot wheel.

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"TOOTH-LESS!" cried Hiccup. "HURRY UP!"

"Okay, okay," muttered Toothless, who had flown to a pile of weaponry not far away. "K-k-keep your helmet on. T-t-toothless doing his BEST."

Toothless tried to pick up three of the swords, all of them as big and beautiful and flashy as the Stormblade itself. But they were all too heavy.

So he turned to something smaller, an undistinguished but serviceable object, a bit rusty at the edges perhaps. He could lift it easily with both talons, and flew with it to where Hiccup was climbing. He was a quarter of the way up a hill of treasure, hotly pursued by Alvin, who had little red lights dancing in his narrowed eyes and was swishing that Stormblade like he was a human flail.

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Toothless dropped the rusty sword into Hiccup's hand, and he caught it just in time to parry a blow by Alvin so terrible that if it had actually connected with Hiccup's neck, it might have removed his head from his shoulders then and there.

Hiccup caught the sword in his LEFT hand, because, if you remember, his right arm was dislocated and in a sling.

"This isn't going to last long," he thought to himself. It was a case of Man against Boy, and Hiccup wasn't exactly the greatest swordfighter in the Inner Isles even with his right hand.

[Image: Hiccup.]

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"Keep your point UP, Hiccup," shouted Fishlegs, desperately trying to clamber up after them so he could help. "Eye on the swords at all times, a strong wrist, remember your footwork. ..."

Alvin the Treacherous gave a great swipe at Hiccup's belly, and Hiccup was surprised to find his left arm jerk up and his own sword block Alvin's in the nick of time.

Alvin was equally surprised, and he hauled his great sword over his wicked head and he brought it down towards Hiccup's neck, and Hiccup's arm flashed up and parried the blow just before it bit.

[Image: Hiccup.]

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Astonished, Alvin began raining blows thick and fast, swiping and slashing and lunging, and Hiccup's left arm parried every thrust as if it had a life of its own.

"Well, suffering swordfish," exclaimed Fishlegs. "Hiccup is LEFT-HANDED."

I would not have you think that this was a fight that Hiccup would be proud to look back upon NOW. For Hiccup would grow up to be a Master Swordsman, a Genius of the Art, and this fight, by comparison with the extraordinary skill with which he fought later, was clumsy work, mostly defensive strokes.

And although I would love to say that Alvin the Treacherous was a brilliant swordfighter, the truth is that he was just so-so at the Art, preferring to poison his enemy's cup or bash him from behind with a rock to fighting him face to face.

But he was still much older, stronger and more experienced than Hiccup.

And while it might not have been the best fight Hiccup ever fought, it was certainly the one he would look back on with the most astonishment and pride.

For it was the first time in his life that Hiccup realized he was left-handed.

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Imagine if you had spent the whole first part of your life trying to walk on your hands. The clumsiness of it, always falling over, always stumbling, always the last at everything. Imagine the joy of discovering that in fact you could walk on your feet after all.

That is what it felt like to Hiccup fighting with his left hand for the first time. So exhilarating was the feeling that he was even starting to enjoy himself.

Hiccup was helped by Toothless, who swooped down and attacked Alvin's head so that Alvin was constantly distracted.

"Unfair," smiled Alvin. "I never thought Grimbeard's Heir would stoop to TWO AGAINST ONE."

The excitement made Hiccup overconfident and so he called out, "Leave him to me, Toothless!"

"Leave him to you?" Fishlegs shouted up furiously. "What do you mean, LEAVE HIM TO YOU??? CARRY ON, TOOTHLESS, AND THAT IS AN ORDER! This is REAL LIFE, Hiccup, not a Swordfighting at Sea lesson, and you need all the help you can get. ..."

In fact, the practice from the Swordfighting at Sea lessons were a big help to Hiccup.

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The shifting, moving ground of the treasure mound was rather similar to the movement of the deck at sea. Hiccup kept his balance more easily than Alvin, who continually staggered and lost his footing.

Nonetheless, it was soon clear that although Hiccup was enjoying himself, he wasn't winning the fight, even with Toothless's help. With a grim smile on his lips, Alvin the Treacherous fought Hiccup back and back, eyes aglow with that red light, back to his old smooth self again.

"Come on, Hiccup," he wheedled, "don't be scared of your old pal, Treacherous. I wouldn't harm a hair" (swipe) "on your head" (swipe).

"Listen, Alvin," urged Hiccup, as he parried each blow, "I'm sure we can all get away safely if you forget about the treasure. ..."

"Oh, I will," promised Alvin, "just as soon as I've killed you, I will."

"Look, Alvin," reasoned Hiccup, "it's never too late to change. You've still got a chance to live life differently, make friends, start a family. ..."

"Stop it," said Alvin, "you're making me laugh. You give me a second chance? That's really funny, that is. You're a heartbeat away from the abyss,

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a mere child fighting a fully grown man, and you're giving me second chances? It's too kind of you." He made a particularly violent lunge that Hiccup just managed to dodge, and very nearly lost his balance doing so.

"It's too late for me," laughed Alvin. "I'm rotten to the core and I like being rotten. The treasure has got me and I like being got." He raised his sword way above his head as Hiccup clutched desperately at the shifting coins to steady himself.

"But I appreciate your concern," said Alvin, bringing the sword down with such savage force that it would have cut Hiccup in half – if he had not spotted it coming and made one last leap out of the way.

So that the blow, instead of separating Hiccup into two pieces, caught Alvin completely off balance, and he stepped back onto the treasure mound behind, one on which they had not fought before ...

... and the treasure unexpectedly reared up beneath him, as if it were alive.

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18. GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY'S FINAL SURPRISE

The entire mound reared up and shook itself, cups and jewels and swords and coins cascading down the sides like molten lava.

And something that looked like a big white rope reached out of the treasure and wound its way around Alvin's waist.

It wasn't a rope.

It was a singularly unattractive white tentacle that looked as if it were made out of a quivering piece of fat. The tentacle was dotted with small indentations out of which there oozed a disgusting whitey-gray sticky sludge that smelt indescribably awful.

Alvin shrieked in horror as the treasure dropped away to reveal the creature that had been sleeping underneath it, a creature they had awoken with their swordfight.

It was Grimbeard the Ghastly's last surprise, his FINAL booby trap.

He had left it there to guard the treasure, a monster that Hiccup had heard of in Legends,

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but never seen before, and one that he sincerely hoped he would never, ever have to see again.

It was the same animal that surprised the little lost Deadly Nadder, the day before, if you remember, and it was called a Monstrous Strangulator.

A Strangulator was a gigantic Monster genetically related to dragons, octopuses and snakes. It had tiny withered dragon wings and tiny crippled dragon legs that were basically useless, as it heaved its great body through underground tunnels like a serpent, leaving a trail of gooey slime.

It had never seen daylight and was the color of nothing. Its tentacles had obviously found a way up through to the upper caves of the Wild Dragon Cliffs, for it was transparent, and you could actually see the forms of unfortunate dragons it had eaten moving through its digestive system. Some, further down the Strangulator's great length, were lying quite still. Others that he had eaten more recently were jerking about, and one was trying to fly, trapped in the Monster's great throat.

The naturalist in Hiccup automatically identified the species – Monstrous Nightmare, Deadly Nadder, Common or Garden times three – making their slow

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progress through the Serpent's alimentary canal.

So small was the Creature's brain in proportion to its size that it had difficulty in keeping sensory track of all of its squirming tentacles, and they wandered about as if they had independent lives of their own. The Creature had to concentrate hard to make the tentacle that was holding Alvin move very slowly up to its head so it could have a look at him, unsure of what to make of this weird new animal.

"Isss food?" hissed the Serpent musingly to itself.

[Image: Fishes.]

Hiccup practically cried with relief. For the creature was speaking a dialect of Dragonese, a very ancient form of it, but Dragonese nonetheless.

And Hiccup was of the opinion that if you could talk to your killer, you were in with a chance.

Alvin struggled wildly and slashed at the great squeezing tentacle with the Stormblade.

"Jickle me with your prickle, would you? said the Creature. " Then I'll tickle you with mine. ..."

And languidly, it dangled the tip of its tail in front of Alvin's face.

Hiccup had seen such a tail on much smaller

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animals. It was filled to the tip with a grass-green venom, pure as glass. There was a plunger a little way down, and the tip just had to penetrate its victim, the plunger go down, and it was goodnight sweet world, hello Valhalla.

"Oh excellent," thought Hiccup to himself. "A poisonous Monstrous Strangulator. My favorite kind."

Alvin fainted as soon as he set eyes on that deadly tail. He was frightened of needles.

So the Strangulator didn't even bother to inject him. It just swallowed him whole, alive, just as he was, Stormblade and all.

In fascinated horror, Hiccup watched the now awake and struggling form of Alvin traveling down the Strangulator's transparent throat.

"So," thought Hiccup, "the Eater of Human Flesh is eaten himself. Isn't fate artistic?"

Sometimes it is harder to force yourself to stand still than it is to run away, but Hiccup knew that he wouldn't have a chance if he tried to escape. This animal was just too big. So Hiccup froze, in the hope that the Creature's eyesight was poor, like other beasts that lived solely underground.

Hiccup was probably right, but one of those

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constantly moving tentacles accidentally bumped into him, and as soon as it made contact with his warm body it automatically wrapped itself around Hiccup, and lifted him into the air.

"A Plan!" Fishlegs shouted out wildly from below. "You need a Fiendishly Clever Plan!"

"Thank you, Fishlegs," said Hiccup, his mind flicking about like a shrimp in a net, and trying to ignore the terrible squeezing around his chest. "I'm aware of that... TOOTHLESS! Come up here!"

The tentacles were turning Hiccup over and over. Toothless flapped up, and hovered as close as he could. Hiccup shouted something into the little dragon's ear.

"That's a t-t-t-terrible plan," moaned Toothless, shaking his head.

"Just do as you're told. for ONCE in your life," yelled Hiccup.

While the Creature remained unconscious of having caught anything, Hiccup still stood a chance of escape. With his sword, he jabbed away at the sticky tentacle that was encircling his trunk and it seemed to be loosening....

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Way down at the bottom of the treasure mound, Fishlegs was frantically trying to be helpful.

[Image: He lifted the sword high, high above his head.]

In front of him, there lay a heavily bejeweled monstrosity of a sword. Despite the fact that it was nearly as big as himself, Fishlegs managed to pick it up from the floor. Purple in the face with the extraordinary effort, he lifted it high, high above his head, ready to launch it at the Creature's stomach....

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Unfortunately the backwards momentum of the sword was so great that Fishlegs toppled very slowly backwards with it. There was a bronze shield on the floor behind him, and he landed on it with such force that he knocked himself out.

The noise of Fishlegs's head connecting with the shield caught the Creature's attention and light finally dawned in its dull eyes, which swam into focus on Hiccup. Its tentacles gripped strongly and escape became impossible.

"More food?" it mused to itself.

"NOT food!" Hiccup shouted out. "I'm POISONOUS. Very,very POISONOUS!"

"Poissonoussssss?" hissed the Creature. "It ssspeakss and iss poissonousss, is it? I'M poissssson-ousssssss. Sssssssee?"

And it waved the deadly plunger of its tail menacingly in front of Hiccup.

"Don't like it when the food sssspeaks...," whined the Creature to itself. "Isss trickssssy when it ssspeaks... kill it quickly before it trickssss me...."

It wrapped its tentacles a little tighter around Hiccup in order to suffocate him.

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"This is all very, interesting," Hiccup managed to choke out, his eyes popping. "So, how were you thinking of killing me, exactly?"

Gradually, the awful pressure on Hiccup's chest eased as the Strangulator considered this question.

"Well," it said slowly, "I wasssss thinking of ssssssqueezing you to death. ..."

"I onlyask," said Hiccup, gasping for air, "because I was recently nearly swallowed by a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, who said, that you Undergrounders were very primitive animals, poorly armed, and only capable of basic forms of killing, such as strangulation."

The Creature stopped squeezing entirely.

"That'ssss very rude," it hissed eventually, rather hurt. "What isssss thissss giganti-Maxi-thingy anyway?"

"Release your tentacles a bit," said Hiccup, "and I'll tell you."

"Okay," said the Strangulator, "but no tricksssing or I'll get crossssss."

Slowly the Creature unwound its tentacles, leaving them only loosely wrapped about the boy. Hiccup took in great relieved gulps of air.

"A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus," Hiccup

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continued, "is a gigantic, scary killing machine as big as a mountain...."

"I'm big ...," the Creature pointed out.

"It has at least three ways of killing," said Hiccup. "It can rip you to pieces with its talons, bite you to bits with its teeth or fry you to a frazzle with its fire."

"I can do that ...," said the Creature, less certainly.

"No, you can't," said Hiccup. "You haven't got any talons, teeth or fire."

"Ssssso I haven't," said the Strangulator, very disappointed. "But I can sssssssqueeze you to death ...." He brightened up and began to wrap his tentacles around Hiccup again.

"So OLD-FASHIONED!" shrieked Hiccup hurriedly. "What about tie POISON? That's tie most modern method of killing around. A Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus hasn't got any foison...."

"Hasssssssn't it?" asked the Creature delightedly.

"No, it hasn't," said Hiccup. "I'm very curious to see how one of these fancy new poisons works."

"It'sssss not a nicccccce way to go," warned the Creature.

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It pointed the sharp needle of its tail straight at Hiccup's heart.

Suddenly, Toothless flew into the Strangulator's field of vison. The Creature lost concentration for a second as the little dragon zoomed up and down right in front of its eyes. By the time it had coordinated its tentacles enough to frighten Toothless away, the Strangulator was very, very cross.

"I told you, no trickssssssing!" it hissed, with venom in its voice. "Thisssss will shut you up. ..."

Fishlegs came back into consciousness just in time to see the Strangulator inject the whole tail's-worth of green poison, enough to kill the entire population of Rome, into the flesh beneath Hiccup's shirt.

[Image: A pencil.]

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19. THE HEIR TO GRIMBEARD THE GHASTLY

"So," chatted Hiccup, "while we're waiting for this poison to take effect, why don't you tell me how it works?"

"Well," crowed the Strangulator, "you will lose control of your tentaclesss ass they sssstart to sssstiffen. ..."

"I can feel a sort of tingling in my feet, like pins and needles," admitted Hiccup.

The Strangulator's own tentacles were leaping about wildly, as stiff as boards.

"The poissson turnsss sssome victimsss green Before they die ...," hissed the Strangulator gleefully.

"Is it just me, " said Hiccup, "or is there a sort of greenish tinge to my left arm?"

There wasn't. It was as white and freckled as ever.

But a strange green cloud was building within the Strangulator's transparent body, gradually obscuring the unfortunate dragons he was digesting.

"... and then as the poissson reaches the head"

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continued the Strangulator, "the nervoussss ssyssstem sssssimply explodesss. ..."

He looked at Hiccup hopefully. Nothing seemed to be happening.

"That'sss funny," said the Strangulator.

"It doesn't sssseem to be working. ..."

"Maybe some people take longer," said Hiccup reassuringly. "You're looking a little peaked yourself, maybe you should lie down."

The Strangulator looked down at itself. The green cloud had now blown into every crook and cranny of its body, and was finally approaching its tiny brain....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

screeched the Strangulator.

The nervous system of the Strangulator simply exploded.

All of its electric circuits lit up like lightbulbs. It thrashed around like a mad thing, knocking out great chunks of rock from the sides of the cave and sending treasure flying through the air in all directions.

Fishlegs hid himself underneath an overhanging

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rock in order not to be hit by the whirling coils. Toothless crawled into a crevice in the ceiling. For about a minute and a half the Strangulator threw itself wildly off the walls of the cavern, screeching a strange primeval agonized shriek. Then all of its tentacles stood out straight and stiff and it fell to the ground.