Текст книги "Sublime"

Автор книги: Christina Lauren

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Текущая страница: 2 (всего у книги 13 страниц)

It’s a morbid history, Colin knows, and the students keep the stories alive because it makes the school interesting and makes them sound brave. But even though everyone swears they don’t believe the Walkers exist, only stoners and drunk kids given a dare on Halloween hang at the lake or deep in the woods. Or dumbasses like him and Jay, who are doing shit they don’t want to get busted for. Of course Amanda would be the one to have seen Lucy there.

Jay pulls his feet from the wall. “You like her.”

Colin bends and ties shoelaces that don’t need tying.

“It’s cool if you like her. She’s not ugly or anything, but she’s . . . I don’t know. Quiet.” Jay takes a long pull from his water bottle. “Which isn’t always a bad thing. Amanda would never shut up. God. Was she always talking when you guys were—”

“Dude.” Colin doesn’t want to think about another girl while he’s watching Lucy. It feels wrong, like comparing a river stone to a ruby.

“She totally was,” Jay guesses, and makes a yapping gesture with his hand. “Oh, Colin, Colin, Colin,” he gasps in a high, breathy voice.

Colin doesn’t reply, choosing instead to shove a handful of chips in his mouth. Jay actually does a fairly good Amanda impersonation.

“Have you talked to her?” Jay asks.

“Amanda?”

“New girl.”

Colin shrugs and wipes his palms on his jeans. “Once or twice. Last time I tried, she ran away.”

“That’s because you’re a dick,” Jay says with a punch to his arm. “A nice dick. But still a dick.”

Colin pauses before balling up his garbage and tossing it into the trash. “You called me a nice dick.”

Jay winks at him, but two seconds later punches his good arm again. “So are you going to talk to her again, or what?”

Colin shrugs, but of course he knows he will.

“All right, lover boy,” Jay says, stretching his arms over his head. “This chat’s been great, but I told Shelby I’d meet her behind the school.”

“You’re a walking cliché.”

Jay cycles through girls the way Colin goes through bike tires. Only used for a few, wild rides. Ignoring the comment, Jay juts his chin toward where Lucy has turned and is walking back toward the quad, only twenty or so feet away. “She’s coming back.”

For a brief moment, Lucy’s eyes catch Colin’s and hold on. And even though he thinks she’s been watching him, too, suddenly she’s walking faster and veering away from where he sits.

“Make me proud,” Jay says, clapping a hand on Colin’s back before walking away.

Colin stands and crosses the soccer field, accelerating his long strides to catch her. He has no idea what to say. It doesn’t feel the same as approaching one of the girls from school, the girls who knew him when he was five and couldn’t write the letter “S.” The girls who knew him when he was ten and wore the same Han Solo shirt for an entire week. The girls who, lately, never seem to say no. This feels like approaching an exotic snake on a trail.

As if she knows he’s there, Lucy turns and looks at him over her shoulder.

“Hey,” he says nervously, shoving his good hand into his pocket. The fingers of his other hand twitch at his side.

She frowns and keeps moving along the grass.

“I didn’t see you eat anything,” he continues, moving into step beside her. “Weren’t you hungry? Dot makes the best grilled cheese.” Lucy gives only a small shake of her head, but the response is enough to make something like hope spread in his chest. “Are you cold? I have a fleece in my room. . . .” He cringes inwardly. That sounded like the worst pickup line ever.

They walk for another minute in silence, leaves crunching beneath the soles of their shoes. Although it’s weird how quiet she is, for some reason he doesn’t feel ignored, either. “Did you move here?” Ducking his head, he smiles at her. “It’s like you just showed up one day.”

There’s a slight falter in her steps but nothing else. Colin studies her profile: creamy, pale skin and bee-stung lips that stick out in kind of a hot pout.

“Where did you go to school before?” he asks.

Lucy picks up her pace but doesn’t answer. He’s decided to give up and turn away when she slows, motioning to his cast. “How did you hurt your arm?”

He flexes the fingers of his left hand on instinct. “On my bike. I didn’t quite land a jump.”

“Does it hurt?” she asks. Her voice is scratchy, like she was at a show last night screaming her head off. He imagines her dancing alone, rocking out, not giving a crap what anyone thinks.

“Nah. I’ve had worse. Broken bones, fractures, concussions, stitches. You name it. This is nothing.” He stops talking abruptly, realizing he sounds like a frat boy bragging about slamming a beer can against his forehead.

Lucy frowns again. “Why would you do those things if you keep hurting yourself?”

Without thinking, Colin says, “For the rush? The burst of adrenaline? That feeling you get when you do something that reminds you you’re alive?”

Lucy stops in her tracks; her face goes blank and her arms wrap protectively around her stomach. “I have to go.”

“Wait,” he says. But it’s too late. With long, determined strides, she walks away.

CHAPTER 5 HER

ONCE LUCY REMEMBERS WHAT HAPPENED TO her, a tangle of other memories connect, plugging together bundles of fine, tenuous synapses. She remembers her loud, barking laugh, forever-skinny arms, and hair so straight it slipped right out of clips and bands. A gift for chemistry but also art, fear of dogs, and a love for the smell of oranges.

She remembers the face of her first teacher, but not her father. She remembers her favorite torn jeans and a Cookie Monster sweatshirt she wanted to wear every day when she was little.

In other words, she remembers nothing that tells her anything about why she’s here instead of floating on a cloud somewhere, or beneath the trails and pavement, dancing in flames.

And it’s that question —why am I here?—that begins to eat away at her quiet, composed shell. Questions burn on her tongue, wanting to be screamed into the cold. But she knows there’s no one to answer them. She’s spent hours since she woke trying to understand what she is. If she’s back where she was killed, then is she a ghost? And if she is, then how can she wear clothes and open doors and even be seen? Is she an angel who came crashing through the clouds and landed on the trail? Then, where are her wings? Where is her sense of purpose?

Her chest aches with the tickling anxiety that she could disappear as quickly—and mysteriously—as she appeared. Somehow, the idea of leaving and being sent elsewhere is more terrifying than the idea of staying here as a shadow. At least here is familiar. Elsewhere might be the stuff of nightmares: stitched-together monsters and blue-black darkness, yellowed claws and misery.

So much about this strange life doesn’t make sense. There’s the statue in the quad, the one with the outstretched arms and heavy marble cloak draped over her shoulders. Lucy is convinced she’s touched it a hundred times before, but now it doesn’t feel . . . right. Or at least, it feels more right than stone should. The first time, Lucy let her hand linger on the delicately carved fingers, trying to remember the exact moment she’d felt it before and marveling at the strange texture. But last time she jerked away, convinced she felt a faint warmth beneath the marble skin and certain one of the fingers had moved. Other students make a wide arc around the statue when they pass, but to Lucy, it beckons.

It feels like one more thing that separates her from the students around her: Her skin turns almost translucent in the sunshine. Normal objects like pencils and stones fascinate her when she stares at them, but when she picks them up, they grow dull in her hand. She’s solid enough to wear clothes, but they weigh a good deal more than she does and she never loses awareness of them: stiff and touching her everywhere. Her mind is full of questions and empty of memories. It’s as if she’s been dropped here and is waiting, suspended, for her fall to make a sound.

The unknown of it all sometimes slips in and makes her feel breathless, tight in the chest, panicked. In those moments, Lucy closes her eyes and shuts out everything but the quiet. She’s here, a ghost in girls’ clothing, haunting this private school; she should just get used to it. But she doesn’t want to haunt anyone. She wants to be tangible and solid. To sleep in a dorm and eat in the dining hall and flirt. With him. All she wants is to be near him.

And he seems to want it, too. Colin follows her everywhere, and where she feels as if she’s built of a million questions and doubts, he seems to be only instinct, happy to simply be near her. His presence raises a warm, soothing hum beneath her skin. He’s behind her as she walks down the halls between classes. Sometimes he walks beside her and talks about—everything—even though she rarely answers what he asks. He’s stopped offering to share his lunch. He’s stopped offering to share his books. Since that first day in the hall, he’s never tried to touch her. But he hasn’t yet revoked his company.

She isolates herself at school because she feels so other. She’s unable to throw away the clothes she woke up wearing, but they feel like a hook to another place, piled in the corner of the old shed she’s found. Every time Lucy looks at them, she knows she wore them when she lay buried somewhere. The new, stolen uniform hangs limp on her bony frame. She tells herself to keep going to classes because, really, what else does she have? At least here, she can be near him. And the closer he is, the more she relaxes. Is it dangerous to want so much to know someone without first knowing yourself?

She pretends she’s wandering the campus—not seeking him out—but is flooded with a wild, charged excitement when she finds him in the parking lot near the security gates, riding a BMX with the other guy she always see with him. His friend—Jay, she remembers—is good-looking, a bit shorter but wiry, with a constant smirk. His gaze slips past her to focus on Colin’s reaction as Lucy approaches. Then Jay stands on his pedals and moves away.

“Hey,” Lucy calls, and she thinks she’s said it too quietly, but Colin’s head snaps up and his eyes go wide. She sees his face every time she closes her eyes, but the reality of him in person still surprises her.

He pedals over, too-long limbs and too-long hair, hopping off his bike while it continues to come to a skidding stop only inches from her legs. He looks impressed that she hasn’t stepped back. “Hey, Lucy.”

She swallows, unprepared for how intimate it feels when he says her name. “How can you bike with a broken arm?”

He shrugs, but something is illuminated behind his eyes, and she recognizes it as joy. “We’re playing around to see if I’ll be able to hit a trail later this week.”

A small tug in her chest. A flutter. “With one arm?”

“Yep.” He grins, and the combination of the wonky bottom tooth that overlaps its twin and the small metal ring hugging his lip make her blink and look away so she can process his answer. “My legs are fine, and I only need one good arm to steer.”

She nods and smooths the wisps of hair off her face. “Are you following me?”

She expects embarrassment or defensiveness, but he laughs, wiping his forehead on the sleeve of his noncasted arm. “Am I following you?” His eyes move to his bike and then back to her, playful. “Not at the moment.”

She’s embarrassed, fighting a smile. “You know what I mean.”

“I do,” he says. “And yeah, I guess I have been.” He pauses while he looks at every part of her face. “I mean, we both know I have been.”

His smile widens then, invading every feature and making his eyes brighten last, and best. She wants to stare at him. Long lashes drop slowly as his eyes close, as if developing another image. She loves his blink. It’s a strange fascination she has, but she wants to ask him what he sees behind his lids.

“Why?” she asks.

“Why am I following you?”

She nods, and his playful smile disappears. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t look at me the way the other students do,” she says.

He studies her in that way he has, like every day is made up of hundreds of hours and he’s not in any hurry to wrap up his inspection. “How do other students look at you?”

“They don’t.”

He shrugs and his eyes soften. “Then they’re idiots.”

Every inch of her skin aches to be near him, but the doubts roll back in, gray as rain clouds. He has no instinct to protect himself from the strangeness of her. Is she supposed to believe he hasn’t noticed that she’s different? “You shouldn’t follow me. I’m not who you think I am.”

He rolls his eyes. “That’s kind of dramatic.”

“I know it is. That’s my point.”

He moves closer, expression soft. “Did you come here to find me and tell me to stop coming to find you?”

She shrugs, fighting another smile.

“That seems like a poor use of your lunch break. You could have waited for me to find you later. It’s in my plan, right after chemistry.”

“Seriously, Colin. You shouldn’t—”

“It isn’t that easy,” he interrupts. All teasing is gone from his eyes as he looks up to the sky, and he’s blushing hotly, slowing himself down. His voice drops to barely a whisper, and he admits, “I don’t know why, okay? I just want to get to know you, and I can’t seem to stay away.”

Lucy drinks in his full lips, his hungry expression, and his earnest attention and tries to keep it safe somewhere inside. “Colin.”

He exhales a puff of air, saying shakily, “What?”

She looks away, up at the dense autumn storm clouds now beginning to form, green with electricity and heavy with rain. “Like you said, I’m a dramatic girl.” She smiles, feeling her skin hum with electricity at the way he’s hanging on her every word. “Don’t boys hate that?”

“Usually.” He licks his lips, tracing the shape of the silver ring.

“Seriously though,” she says, dragging her gaze away from his mouth. Her chest, it aches. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”

He sees something in her eyes that keeps rejection from clouding his face. He blinks once, nods slowly, as if he already knew this about her. “Okay.”

He stares at her as she walks away; his focus is like a point of heat on her back. Did she really tell him to stay away? Now, as if there’s a magnet behind her and she is composed of shards of scrap metal, she feels almost irresistibly pulled backward. Ahead is the cabin at the edge of campus, and a man in khakis and a sweater stands on the porch, stretching in the crisp air. A small plaque at the foot of the walkway leading to the home reads:

WILLIAM P. VERNON MEMORIAL RESIDENCE Joseph Velasquez, Headmaster As she passes the path to the steps, the man she assumes is Joseph R. Velasquez doesn’t even nod or smile or somehow acknowledge her. His focus is on the lot behind her, where she’s left Colin and Jay horsing around on their bikes. His eyes narrow, and what looks like exasperation moves through his body, deflating him.

“Colin Novak!” he yells, irritation thickening his voice. “The doc said no riding!”

Pressure builds inside her chest, a balloon that fills with some indescribable need until it’s so strong, so full, she fears her ribs might crack beneath the strain. She feels angry. But she has no idea why. And as his words echo past her to the quad, bouncing back and joining the whispers of Colin’s name that repeat in her thoughts, the man glances at her, horror appearing on his face before the sturdy porch groans and in a sharp snap, wood planks splinter. It happens so fast, but in Lucy’s mind it feels like each event occurs in slow succession: wood cracks, Velasquez pitches first forward and then back as his legs break through the porch and he falls beneath. His surprised cry echoes across the lawn.

The balloon bursts, and relief seeps into each corner of her body. She breathes again, gasps as if it’s the first breath she’s ever taken. And she’s horrified. Lucy scrambles up the steps and reaches for his hand before immediately pulling back. She’s never touched anyone, not in this body. She doesn’t even know if she can be touched. Instinct presses her back. He looks up from where he landed, waist-deep under the porch and grimacing in pain.

“Go away,” he says, pleading with her.

She takes another step back, hands moving to cover her mouth in silent apology. But her face is unrecognizable beneath her fingers, like heat and anger have torn away her skin.

“I don’t think I can pull you out,” she says, too quiet, aching with apology but unwilling to move closer, almost as if an invisible wall stands between her and the wounded man. He looks at her in awe, and she steps back, holding her hands up. “I’m afraid to try in case—”

Shouts from the lot reach her, and footsteps pound down the sloping lawn. Colin, with Jay close behind him, shouting, “Joe! Oh, my God, Joe!” Colin buckles when he reaches the gaping hole in the porch, and he and Jay struggle to heave out a dusty and injured Mr. Velasquez.

There’s blood and torn fabric, and Lucy is oddly fascinated with the way the red blooms thickly through the fibers of his pants and pools beside Colin on the porch.

“I’ll . . . go get someone,” she says.

“Get Maggie,” Jay says to her, tearing a bit of his shirt and tying it around Mr. Velasquez’s leg.

“Maggie?”

“Campus nurse. Hang on. I’ll go with you. You got this, Col?”

Colin nods numbly and watches as she steps away and begins backing down the stairs. “What happened, Lucy?” “He fell through,” she answers dumbly.

Crimson blood almost reaches Colin’s leg, and he scoots back before it touches him. Looking back down, Colin says quietly, “We’ll get you fixed up, Joe.”

Lucy turns to leave, uneasy with the odd sense of responsibility she’s feeling, remembering the way Mr. Velasquez reacted as if her face told him something terrible was about to happen. Beside her, Jay is already scrolling through a list of names on what she’s learned is a phone with a bright, colorful screen. “I’ll walk with you,” he says.

Lucy had been confused at first when she’d seen students staring down at and tapping the front of what looked like a tiny TV. She’d never seen anything like it in her life. I’m not from here, she thought. I’m not from now. She wonders what would happen if she tried to take one, to use it to call outside the school. Would the dialed call bounce back into the school grounds, too?

They head back down the trail in an uneasy rhythm as Jay passes on the details to Maggie, and Lucy works to match his frantic pace. The lawn rolls ahead, stark and so green it almost looks unreal. Will they walk to the infirmary together? Will she be required to explain how a seemingly sturdy porch simply caved in under the weight of a small man? For once, Lucy wishes the earth would open up and reclaim her, the girl with no answers.

She turns and looks over her shoulder to where Colin remains bent over Mr. Velasquez, speaking quietly.

“Why is he so worried?”

“Did you not see the man up to his chest in porch? The blood?” Jay asks, a hint of sharp amusement in his voice.

Lucy nods, tucking her chin and staring at the brilliant green grass bending only slightly beneath her feet. Her words echo back to her and sound ridiculous. “Of course. I didn’t mean he shouldn’t be worried.”

“No, I know what you mean. He’s more worried than most students would be, I guess.” Jay ducks to meet her eyes. “It’s just that Colin miraculously survived this horrible accident that killed his parents. So accidents kind of freak him out. Plus Joe’s his godfather and, like, his one remaining semi-family member left on the planet.”

CHAPTER 6 HIM

COLIN’S BEEN IN THE INFIRMARY MORE TIMES than he can count, but he’s rarely been the one sitting beside the bed while someone else babbles under the influence of painkillers.

“Like a demon. Or a ghoul. Or . . . something whose face melts,” Joe mumbles.

“Everything’s okay now,” Colin reassures his godfather.

Joe has been rambling about demons for almost an hour. “It’s the morphine.”

The door from the hallway opens and Maggie comes in, carrying fresh bandages and a glass of water. She’s barely in her thirties but carries the wisdom of a much older woman. It shows in the deep set of her frown and the persistent worry lines on her forehead.

“How’s he doing?” she asks Colin.

“Still going on about a face-melting demon, but he seems better.”

Maggie hums, lips tight, and pulls the sheet down to check Joe’s bandage. “We should take this one to the hospital, to be sure.”

“I’m fine,” Joe growls, suddenly coherent. “We’re not driving two hours for something you can do better here.” “I can stitch you up, but this is deep. You’ll have a nasty scar.”

“I’m staying put. Don’t have anyone to impress with my flawless skin.”

“Chicks dig scars,” Colin says, trying to distract him. Joe groans when Maggie peels away the blood-soaked bandage. Colin looks away, wincing. The cut is deep, but clean now, and Colin swears he saw a hint of bone. Maggie shoos him to the other side of the room while she stitches Joe up. His stomach turns at seeing Joe like this: obviously old, vulnerable.

“Get out of here, kid,” Maggie says, lifting her chin toward the door. “You’re green.”

“I’ve . . . never seen him like this.”

“Mm-hmm. And how do you think he felt seeing you worse off more times than any of us can count?”

Colin knows she’s right. He can remember being here or in the hospital after a nasty crash on his bike, with several broken ribs and a huge gash on his scalp. He’d wondered at the time if he were going to die. It seemed so matter of fact to him: Either he would, or he wouldn’t. It was simple. He never considered how they might feel to lose him. “Go on. Get some sleep. I got this,” Maggie says. Colin looks at the man on the bed. “You good, Joe?” Joe grunts as Maggie ties off a stitch. “I’ll be back to work tomorrow,” he says.

The nurse laughs. “The hell you will.”

Colin is startled awake when Jay returns to the dorm room. Dim light from the hall slips across the walls and is gone just as quickly.

“You’d better be alone,” Colin says into his pillow. It’s been a crazy day, and the last thing he wants to deal with tonight is one of Jay’s girlfriends sneaking into their room. If caught, all three of them would get demerits.

“I’m alone. Dude, I’m so tired.” Colin hears the rustle of fabric, Jay swearing as he trips, and the muffled clunk of keys and shoes hitting the rug. The mattress across the room creaks as he collapses on his bed. He moans something and rolls onto his stomach.

Jay’s breathing evens out, and Colin opens an eye, trying to see the clock next to the bed. It’s four in the morning, somehow both too early and too late to easily guess where Jay’s been.

“Where were you?” he asks. Jay doesn’t answer and he asks again, louder, reaching with his good arm and throwing an empty water bottle toward Jay’s side of the room.

Jay startles, lifting his head slightly before dropping it down again. “I’m sleeping, man.”

“Shelby?” Colin asks.

“Nah, she’s such a scene queen. Not to mention insane.”

Colin rolls his eyes and adds a snort so Jay hears his scorn even if he can’t see it. All the girls Jay dates are insane.

“How’s Joe?”

“His leg’s pretty cut up,” Colin says, scrubbing his face. “But otherwise he seemed okay when I left.”

“He’s, like, seven thousand years old,” Jay says. “And nothing keeps Joe down. Not even his whole fucking porch collapsing with him on it.”

“He’s seventy-two,” Colin grumbles. “And he’s lucky. Half an inch to the left and he could have bled to death.”

Jay answers this with the appropriate weight of silence. Sometimes, when the planets align, even he realizes when a smart-ass comment is unnecessary.

“Oh,” he says with more enthusiasm. “I saw your girl.”

“What?”

“Lucy. I saw her on my way here. She was sitting in front of Ethan Hall. I asked her if she needed help, but she said no.”

“First of all, she’s not my girl—”

Jay groans into his pillow.

“Trust me,” Colin counters, opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling, wide-awake now. Scattered above him are glowin-the-dark stars and a model of the solar system. His dad made it for him before he died, and it’s followed Colin to every bedroom he’s ever had. He sighs, rubbing his hands over his face again and wondering who this strange girl is and why in the hell she was sitting outside alone at four in the morning. “She told me to leave her alone.”

“Christ.” Jay groans. “It’s like you know nothing about women. They all say shit like that, Col. They have to. It’s, like, hardwired into their brains or something. They say that stuff to feel less guilty about wanting us to jump their bones. I thought everybody knew that.”

“That’s the kind of reasoning that will earn you a cell mate ironically named Tiny,” Colin says.

“If I’m wrong, then why did I get laid last night and you were here with a pile of laundry and your hand?”

“I think that has less to do with me and more to do with the poor choices being made by the female students at Saint O’s.”

“Ah, right,” Jay says thickly, already half asleep. He falls silent, and eventually his breaths even out. Inside, Colin is a tornado, unable to stop thinking about Lucy and why she might be sitting outside in the cold.

On that first day, she said she was here for him, and although he doesn’t understand what that means . . . maybe part of him does. Clearly she looks different to Colin than she does to Jay, and it’s hard to pretend that doesn’t mean something. In fact, he’s trying his best to ignore the caveman-asshole feeling he gets when he thinks that she’s somehow his, but she’s the one who put it out there, planting the idea like a tiny dark seed inside him.

And now he can’t sleep. Great. Careful not to wake Jay, he grabs two hoodies and slips out of the room.

Lucy is exactly where Jay said she was, sitting on a bench in front of Ethan Hall with her back to Colin, facing the pond. In the low light, the water looks strangely inviting, smooth and dark and calm enough to make the moon and thousands of stars come see their reflections. Mist curls along the edges, like fingers luring its victims into the frigid blackness.

With a deep breath, he closes the distance between them. “Hey,” she says, without turning to see him.

“Hey.”

Finally, she peeks at him out of the corner of her eye.

“What are you doing up?” she asks. Her voice is always so raspy, like she doesn’t use it much. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you?” As expected, she doesn’t answer, so he places the sweatshirt on the bench next to her. “Jay said he saw you out here. I thought you might be cold.” She’s still wearing the plain blue oxford, and no way is it warm enough.

“Is that why you came out here?”

“Maybe.” He rubs his hands together, blowing into them, and glances over at her.

“How is Mr. Velasquez?”

Colin wants to burst out in song he’s so happy she’s speaking to him. “He’s going to be okay. By the time I left, he was back to his old self, insisting he could work from bed if Maggie would let him. I’m pretty sure Dot will be in the infirmary forcing food on him every twenty minutes.”

Lucy stares at the pond for several beats, and Colin wonders if they’ve gone back to the silent game until she says, “Dot is your boss, right? You seem close to her.”

“She is my boss.” He smiles at her tentative efforts at making conversation. “But she’s always been kind of like a grandmother to me.”

“So, your kind-of-grandmother runs the kitchen and the headmaster is your godfather?”

“God-fahhthaahhh,” Colin says in his best Brando, but Lucy only gives him an indulgent tiny-dimpled smile. “My parents died when I was little. They were teachers here and were close to Dot and Joe, who was a history teacher at the time. Dot hired me in the kitchen when I was fourteen, but she’s been feeding me since I was five. I try and hang out with her as much as I can—like help her out on baking nights and stuff.”

“I’m sorry your parents died.”

He nods once. His stomach tightens, and he hopes they can move on from this topic. He doesn’t want to think about his mother’s spiral into psychosis, or the accident, or any of it. Almost everyone here knows the story, and he’s grateful he never really has to tell it.

“And you’ve lived here since you were five?”

“We moved from New Hampshire when my parents got jobs here. They died when I was six, and I lived with Joe until I moved to the dorms freshman year.” He bends so he can see her face more clearly. “What about you? Does your family live in town? I thought you were a commuter, but . . .” He trails off, and her silence rings back to him.

“Colin . . . ,” she says finally.

Hearing her say his name does things to him. It gets him thinking of ways to make her say it again, and louder.

She looks up at him. “About what I said yesterday . . .”

“You mean the part where you asked me to stay away and here I am, finding you in the middle of the night?”

“No, not that.” She sighs, tilting her head up to stare at the sky. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Well, that’s the complete opposite of what he’d expected. This girl is about as hard to read as a Cyrillic text. “Okay . . . ?”

The amount of attention she’s giving the stars makes him wonder if she’s trying to count them. Does she see something there that he can’t?

“I shouldn’t have said what I said yesterday. I want you around me. It’s just that I don’t think you should want to be around me.” She takes a deep breath, like she’s readying herself for a hard admission. “And now I sound crazy.”

He laughs. She totally does. “A little.”

“But I guess what I’m going to say is kind of crazy.”

He stares at her, focusing on the way her teeth rake across her bottom lip. He already knows there’s something different about her. And there’s most definitely something strange about them. It’s not until he’s here, in this moment, that he realizes how much he’s resisted thinking about how weird everything has been. After his mother’s breakdown and the resulting death of both of his parents, he’d learned how to guard his mind so carefully, never lingering too long on his morbid history or—eventually—anything even mildly worrisome. The idea that there might really be something strange about Saint O’s always struck Colin as legend, a way to make new kids behave, to lure the thin stream of tourists to the town nearby in the summer. But there’s something paradoxical about sitting with an odd stranger at night next to a foggy pond that makes you see things more clearly.