Текст книги "Seduced in the Dark"

Автор книги: C. J. Roberts

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Текущая страница: 22 (всего у книги 26 страниц)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Caleb woke. His head hurt, but it was nothing compared to the pain inside his chest. He pushed himself back onto his heels and raised a hand to his head. It came away bloody. He stared at the blood on his hand. There had been so much blood on Caleb’s hands over the years.

He sobbed.

“He left you there, Caleb. You were his revenge. Everyone knew it. The war came and he left you there to rot. No one crossed Rafiq after that, not once they knew what he was capable of. Even criminals love their families, their children.”

He wanted to tell himself there was absolutely no truth to what Felipe had told him, but he had to admit…it was possible. Rafiq had lied to him about how he knew Vladek. With all he and Rafiq had shared, Caleb couldn’t think of a reason for Rafiq to keep such a thing from him. Unless he had a very good reason.

Vladek is my father.

Caleb shook his head. He couldn’t think about that.

He looked around the room and saw it was empty; Felipe was gone. Caleb had gone toward him with his knife, intent on killing him, but his anger had made him sloppy and Felipe had struck him with the gun. The fact he didn’t shoot Caleb only gave him more credibility.

Caleb wished he’d pulled the trigger, but he knew why Felipe had left him alive. He wanted Caleb to find Rafiq.

No! I can’t.

He hunched over, the pain was too much to bear. There was no way he could possibly survive this betrayal. His entire life had been a lie. He had not been abandoned. He had not been rescued. He’d been taken from a mother who loved him and had tried to protect him by running away from Vladek. He’d been kidnapped by the only real father he’d ever known.

Rafiq.

Rafiq had cared for him. He’d taught him how to read, how to speak five languages. Rafiq had stayed up late and spoken with Caleb because he’d known about the nightmares Caleb used to have when he went to bed alone. He’d taught him how to defend himself. And the entire time….

He knew what he’d done to me. He listened to me recount the way Narweh used to rape me. He’d held me when I cried.

Caleb screamed toward the ground.

I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you for what you’ve done.

“How could you?” he said aloud.

He must laugh at me.

An image of Rafiq and Jair popped into his mind. Their entire relationship had been suspect until that moment. If Rafiq was concerned about Caleb learning the truth, it made sense to have someone around to watch Caleb. He wondered if Jair knew the truth and bile crept into his throat.

Kill them both.

Slowly, Caleb stood from his balled position on the floor. He looked around him and picked up his knife. As he held it in his hand, he shook with rage. Things would end tonight.

He trudged up the stairs, his bare feet slapping against the wood steps. His heart felt both fast and shallow. He had hungered for vengeance for so many years, never knowing the source of all his suffering had held his hand and pointed him toward his own father.

Vladek was not without guilt. He’d known what Rafiq did to him and still had not come for him. He had sacrificed his own flesh and blood for the sake of what? Money? Power? Cowardice?

Caleb had been a pawn since he was a child. Nothing he knew could be trusted, even his memories manipulated him. There was no such thing as truth. The truth relied heavily on perception and Caleb’s had been fucked with since the beginning.

The door was open at the top of the stairs. Caleb didn’t hear any sounds within the house. He suspected Felipe and Celia were long gone. He wondered if they had taken Livvie.

Livvie….

Caleb shut his eyes tight and forced her from his thoughts. He couldn’t think about her. If he went upstairs and found her missing, he would lose any composure he had left. If he found her waiting for him with Felipe and Celia, he risked showing a side of himself he didn’t want her to see. And if he found her hurt…or worse…he would simply turn the knife on himself and Rafiq would live. It was best he didn’t know. Not yet.

Felipe’s home was enormous, filled with many rooms and hiding spaces. He walked slowly, testing each door as quietly as possible. As he walked, his memories wreaked havoc on his soul.

“Why me, Rafiq? I’m no one. I don’t even know who Vladek is,” Caleb said. He sat on the floor with his legs pulled up toward his chest. It was almost time for bed, but he didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to risk having another nightmare.

Lately, he’d been dreaming about the night he killed Narweh. Caleb had shot him and his face was half gone, but Narweh didn’t die. He sat up and jumped on top of Caleb, his open face dripping a river of blood onto Caleb’s.

He could never go back to sleep after that.

Rafiq sat at his desk, writing. “Men like Vladek have no reason for their callousness, Caleb. They see something, or someone, they like and they take it. A’noud was beautiful.” Rafiq paused and smiled. “She was sweet. She used to wrap her arms around me and refuse to let go unless I spun her around. My mother used to complain she’d never find a husband because she’d never want to be away from me.” Rafiq’s gaze was distant, as though he were reliving a fond memory.

Caleb looked toward the imaginary spot containing Rafiq’s memory of his sister and he wished he had one of his own.

“Do you miss her?” Caleb asked in a whisper.

Rafiq’s expression turned grim and he returned to his papers, “Much of the time. My hope is that once Vladek is dead, I can give my sister and mother some peace.”

Caleb nodded. “Do you think…? Nevermind.” Caleb pulled at the rug with his fingernails, at a loss for what to say.

“Ask, Caleb. There is no room for secrets between you and I. We are in this together,” Rafiq said. He smiled at Caleb warmly.

“I wouldn’t keep secrets from you. I promise. You saved my life and I owe you everything. It’s just…do you think…I have a family? I mean, I must have had one…before.” Caleb’s face felt hot.

Rafiq sighed, “I don’t know, Caleb. I’m sorry.”

Caleb shrugged and picked at the carpet some more. “It doesn’t matter. You’re the only one who came looking for me. If I have a family, they must not care very much.”

Rafiq stood from his desk and got down on one knee in front of Caleb and lifted his chin. “We are orphans, Caleb. We make our own families.”

Caleb’s chest swelled with emotions he didn’t understand. He pressed his lips together and nodded. He felt relieved when Rafiq let him go and ruffled his hair. Caleb didn’t want to cry in front of Rafiq. He wanted to make him proud.

“Let us see what sweets are in the kitchen, Caleb.”

Caleb smiled brightly and jumped up from the floor, trailing behind Rafiq.

His first impulse was to throw open the door and start stabbing anything within arm’s reach, but he’d made enough mistakes to last him a lifetime. He was determined to get it right this time.

“Hold the gun steady, Caleb. It’s very powerful,” Rafiq said. He smiled and lifted Caleb’s arms parallel to the ground.

“I can do it!” Caleb whined. He tried to shrug Rafiq away.

“I’m trying to teach you, Caleb. Listen.”

“You’ve been talking forever. I just want to shoot.”

“Patience,” Rafiq said. “Widen your stance and try to pace your breathing.”

Caleb scowled. He was tired of talking. He pointed the gun toward the tin can in the distance and squeezed the trigger. The force of the gun bent his elbows and the gun cracked him in the forehead and threw him toward the ground.

“Ahhh! Damn it!” Caleb rolled on the ground while holding his head. He kicked with his feet as he tried to assuage the pain. He could hear Rafiq laughing uproariously.

“I told you! You silly boy!” Rafiq stomped his foot as he laughed.

Caleb shut his eyes again and tried to breathe through the pain. He would give anything to return to the moment Felipe had offered him the truth and deny he wanted to hear it.

You knew it could come to this, Caleb. Only now, you don’t have to feel guilt. It’s a gift.

Caleb shook his head, but gripped the knife tighter. He couldn’t lie to himself. He had known it might come to this. He had hoped to sacrifice his own life, but in the back of his mind, he knew the survivor in him would fight to the bitter end. Rafiq had to die.

He took a deep, steadying breath and knocked on the door.

The beating of his heart swayed his body by the barest of degrees, building his adrenaline and his anxiety.

Caleb heard cursing, followed by rapid steps toward the door. He braced himself and a shiver ran down his spine.

The door opened and Jair stood in the doorway naked. His swarthy chest was slick with sweat.

“What do you want?” Jair sneered.

Caleb tried to remain calm, but all he heard in his head was: Kill.

“Where’s Rafiq?” Caleb said urgently.

Jair registered Caleb’s demeanor, his gaze focused on the blood on Caleb’s forehead. “What happened?”

Caleb swallowed. “Felipe attacked me. I have him tied up downstairs in the shower room.”

“Does everyone hate you?” Jair turned into his room with a sneer in Caleb’s direction.

Caleb spoke in Arabic. “He was planning to kill Rafiq. He wanted me to help him.”

Jair turned his head toward Caleb as he pulled on a pair of pants and replied in the same language. “Why would he ask for your help?”

“He thought he had something to offer me. Obviously, he doesn’t know how deep my loyalty runs. Where is Rafiq?” Caleb asked, again. He was having a difficult time restraining himself. Nancy was tied face down on the bed. He could see her shaking and had no clue how he felt about her plight.

“Everyone seems to question your loyalty, Caleb. Perhaps there is something to question,” Jair put his arms through a shirt.

“Fuck you, swine. Where is Rafiq? I won’t ask again.”

“Fuck you, Caleb. You and your little whore.” Jair turned to retrieve his shoes and Caleb could no longer hold himself back.

As soon as Jair’s back was turned, Caleb kicked the back of his knee and threw his weight onto Jair’s back. He pushed his knife between Jair’s ribs and into one of his lungs.

Jair bucked wildly, shock and adrenaline making him strong as an ox. Caleb wrapped his left arm around Jair’s throat and held onto the knife in Jair’s side as he was flung to the left and right with incredible force. Caleb didn’t dare do anything but use his strength to stay on Jair. He could hear Nancy whimpering, but she had yet to scream.

Jair crawled, staggering across the room on his hands and knees while his blood soaked his shirt and Caleb’s hand.

“No!” Jair gurgled. “No!” His arm reached back for Caleb, trying to drag him off.

Caleb shifted the knife in Jair’s side, his body sliding against Jair’s sweat and blood. He shut his eyes and listened to Jair’s death rattles until he fell forward onto the floor. Caleb held on for a minute…waiting. There was nothing. He loosened his arm around Jair’s throat and one last whisper of breath escaped him. Jair was dead.

Caleb shifted, straddling Jair’s limp body and pulled out his knife. He could hear Nancy crying into the bed and trying to quiet her panic.

“I’m not here for you,” Caleb whispered. Nancy wept harder. Caleb lifted the knife and looked down at Jair’s lifeless body. He stabbed him twice more to be sure.

Slowly, he stood and approached Nancy. She flinched, her chest rising and falling to the rhythm of her panic.

“Please!” she cried. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did. Please, don’t hurt me. No more. Please, God, no more.” She sobbed and shook her head.

Caleb sat on the edge of the bed. “Are you sure you want to live?” His voice was wooden and detached. He felt so many things, but they were distant. This was not bloodlust. There was no satisfaction in what he’d done, or what he was about to do. “You won’t forget,” he continued. “Every time you close your eyes…it will be waiting there. Every time a man touches you, you’ll struggle not to cry out. Are you sure that’s what you want?”

Nancy wouldn’t stop sobbing.

“I can make it fast. No pain. I promise.”

“Please,” she pleaded, “let me go.”

“Do you know where Rafiq is?” he asked, his tone cold and far away.

“L-l-ast time, we…” Nancy sobbed, but kept going, “we stayed in this guest house out by the pool. He…he didn’t want anyone to hear me SCREAMING!” Nancy wailed into the mattress and pulled on the restraints holding her down.

Caleb couldn’t stand to listen to her misery. He felt responsible for it. He had brought her into his world. No matter what she’d done, she didn’t deserve the price she’d paid. He leaned over her body, wincing at the way she screamed in horror. He cut her loose.

Nancy didn’t move, she simply continued to scream and cry on the bed.

“Good luck,” he whispered. He stood and searched Jair’s things and found his knife and gun. He picked them both up and walked out of the room.

It was warm outside, even in the dead of night. Caleb walked toward the guest house with a high level of trepidation, but an even greater sense of determination.

Part of him wanted to simply go inside and kill Rafiq as he slept. It would be over quickly. Caleb would never have to confront Rafiq’s betrayal. He would never have to face the man he had thought of as a father, brother, and friend, and ask him what had been real between them and what had been a ploy. He would never have to see Rafiq’s eyes lose the spark that meant he was alive.

Still, Caleb knew he had come too far not to learn the full truth. He needed to know for certain. He needed to hear it from Rafiq’s lips and see it in his eyes. A part of Caleb ached to learn it had all been a lie from Felipe.

He was shocked to see Rafiq swimming in the pool when he approached, gun raised. His heart hammered wildly in his chest and he felt a little dizzy.

I can’t.

I can.

I can.

I can.

Rafiq emerged from the water and wiped his face. It took him a moment to see Caleb standing near the edge of the water. He smiled for a fraction of a second until he registered the gun in Caleb’s hand.

Rafiq glared and shook his head. “I wish I could say I’m surprised, Khoya.”

Caleb shut his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he returned Rafiq’s anger. “I am not your brother, Rafiq. I doubt you ever saw me as such.”

“You’re bleeding,” he said. His tone was casual and unafraid.

Caleb wiped at his forehead. “I had a talk with Felipe. It didn’t end well.”

Rafiq smiled. “Is that all? I don’t care if you’ve killed him, Caleb. Put the gun away,” he ordered. He was always giving orders. He’d always believed he had the right, especially when it came to Caleb.

“I didn’t kill him. I killed Jair,” Caleb said through a smile.

Anger swiftly came over Rafiq’s features. “And now you’re here to kill me?! You ungrateful little whore. I should have let you die in Tehran!”

Caleb felt heat race down his spine and he straightened. “Get out of the water, Rafiq. Slowly, or I’ll shoot you where you stand.”

“Do it! I don’t fear you, Caleb.” Despite his words, Rafiq stepped back toward the steps of the pool. Caleb followed him around the edge until Rafiq stood out of the water.

Without hesitation, Caleb shot Rafiq in his right knee. Rafiq yelled out into the night, his wet body thudding against the concrete.

Rafiq’s hands shook as he held his knee, fragments of bone lay around him along with copious amounts of blood. “I’ll kill you!” he screamed.

Adrenaline coursed through Caleb’s veins. “How do you know Vladek?!” Caleb yelled over Rafiq’s curses and wails.

“Fuck you! Give me a towel before I fucking bleed to death!”

Caleb reached for Rafiq’s towel on one of the lounge chairs and threw it in Rafiq’s direction. Rafiq shivered as he applied pressure to his destroyed knee. He was fighting shock.

Caleb felt sick to his stomach. When he was able to keep his nausea at bay and speak, his voice was broken. “Did you make me a whore, Rafiq? Did you take me from my mother?” It hurt to say the words. It hurt to look upon Rafiq and instantly know the answer.

It was in the way the anger disappeared on Rafiq’s face. There was a glimpse of shame, but only that – a glimpse. When it passed, Rafiq was once again filled with a self-righteous rage. “How dare you! How dare you ask me such a stupid question, Caleb! After all we’ve been through and all I’ve done for you. This,” he motioned to his bloody leg, “is how you repay me? You make me sick.” He spat on the ground.

Caleb broke.

He fell to his knees on the concrete and hung his head. His sobs shook his chest and robbed him of breath. His mind raced with images of his torment. He relived the rapes and beatings. He felt the loss of his friend upon learning he’d been burned alive. But the worst…were the memories of Rafiq and the life they had lived together – good and bad.

“It’s not too late, Khoya,” Rafiq said softly. His voice trembled. “Help me inside.”

Rafiq’s words brought the world back into focus for Caleb. He stared into his lap, saw the gun lying limply in his hand, and made a decision. He went into the guest house and found what he needed before coming back outside to Rafiq.

Rafiq wasn’t doing very well. He shook badly and the color was drained from his face. “What are you doing, Caleb?” he asked. For the first time, there was fear in his eyes.

Caleb ignored the question. He stretched the length of cord he’d brought out and gestured toward Rafiq’s hands. “Give them to me.”

Rafiq shook his head. “No. You’re not yourself, Caleb. Don’t do this!”

Caleb held the cord taut in his hands and reached around Rafiq’s head. He pulled back with both hands, dragging Rafiq into the house by his neck. A trail of blood followed them.

Rafiq didn’t thrash around the way Jair had. He was too well trained as a soldier to make such a mistake. He placed his hands around the cord, taking tension off of his throat.

Once inside, Rafiq reached back for Caleb’s arms, bracing the weight of his body and rolled toward Caleb. It was enough to throw Caleb off balance. Rafiq dragged himself on top of Caleb and punched him in the same spot Felipe had struck with the gun.

Caleb’s head snapped back and his vision blurred. He felt Rafiq’s hands wrap around his throat, his thumbs pressing along his windpipe. Caleb lifted his leg and kicked at Rafiq’s injured knee. It was enough to regain the advantage. As Rafiq instinctively recoiled and went for his knee, Caleb rolled on top of him. He kept punching Rafiq in the face until he went unconscious.

***

When Rafiq opened his eyes, Caleb could see he was instantly afraid. Caleb had tied him down on one of the lounge chairs that had been by the pool.

Caleb felt dead inside, but his thirst for vengeance had not abated. He had waited his entire life for this moment and it could not be denied.

He sat on the ground next to Rafiq. His knife sat delicately on his knee and still gory with Jair’s blood. “You’re going to die tonight, brother. I want you to know that,” Caleb whispered. “I can kill quickly if you tell me the truth,” he paused, “or I can use my knife and practice all the things you’ve taught me about torture.”

“Caleb…” Rafiq’s voice shook.

“That’s not my name, Rafiq. I don’t remember my name. It was taken from me,” Caleb said dully. “Do you know why?” Caleb looked up at Rafiq, his expression hard.

“You don’t want to do this, Caleb,” Rafiq said.

“No,” Caleb replied and shook his head, “I don’t want to do this.” He picked up the knife and poked at Rafiq’s knee.

“STOP!” Rafiq yelled. “Stop!”

Caleb returned the knife to his knee. “I never wanted to hurt you, Rafiq. Never! But you have to suffer for what you’ve done.”

Rafiq’s body shook violently. Sweat covered his body. “And what is it you think I’ve done?”

“I’ll ask the questions. I’ll start with the most important one: Did you give me to Narweh?”

Rafiq stared at him for a long time.

Caleb felt a tear race down his cheek and he wiped it away quickly with the back of his hand. He didn’t know he was crying. It had been so long since he’d cried and he suddenly seemed unable to stop. He cleared his throat, “Your silence betrays you, Rafiq. I had hoped you would deny it. I almost killed Felipe for even suggesting it.”

“It’s not true, Caleb. Felipe is a liar,” Rafiq whispered.

Caleb shut his eyes and wiped at his face again. He unexpectedly laughed. “You’re late. And unconvincing. But thank you, for trying.”

“I raised you,” Rafiq implored.

“You did,” Caleb nodded. “I think that’s what makes your betrayal so much worse. I worshipped you as a boy. You were my savior.”

“I treated you well, Caleb. I gave you everything your heart desired.” There was sincerity in Rafiq’s words.

“I always wondered why you came for me. At first, I thought you took pity because of what Narweh had done. I thought you rescued me because you were too late to save your sister. Felipe tells me you killed her…and your mother. Is that true?”

Rafiq turned his face away. “You don’t know about the things you’re saying,” he grated.

“Explain it to me, then. You’re about to die. Unburden your soul,” Caleb said numbly.

Rafiq took a deep breath and released it slowly. “And my wife and children? What’s to become of them?”

Caleb felt nothing. “Will your sons come after me?”

“They’re too young for that, Caleb.”

“I was about their age the first time I killed. Even younger when….” He couldn’t continue.

“They’re not like us. Swear to me you’ll leave them alone and I’ll tell you what you want to know.” Rafiq turned his head and looked at Caleb.

He nodded. “I swear it.”

Rafiq also nodded. Tears swam in his eyes. “Thank you, Caleb.” Rafiq turned his gaze toward the ceiling. “I know you won’t believe me, but I have always regretted what happened to you. I was in pain and I…. I tried to make it up to you.”

Caleb felt a rush of hot tears, but managed to scoff. “As if anything could make up for what was done to me! You know! You know what they put me through, the pretty American boy who everyone called Dog.” Caleb picked up the knife and stabbed it into Rafiq’s thigh and twisted the blade.

“Caleb!” Rafiq shouted. “Please!”

“Yes! Please! That’s how I begged, too. I said it so much, Narweh used to taunt me with the word.”

“I gave you vengeance!”

“Vengeance will never undo what was done! Your betrayal is worse than anything Narweh ever did. He never betrayed me. He raped my body, but you…. You, I loved.”

Rafiq was delirious with pain and blood loss. “Khoya,” he croaked, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s too late, Rafiq. Much, much, too late.”

Rafiq shook his head, “Vladek is a monster. He ruined my beloved A’noud. He turned her against me. My father had died and my sister was carrying Vladek’s bastard! I was sick with grief. We fought and my mother got in the middle. I never meant to hurt them. They were my life! Vladek took them from me!”

“You killed them! You are responsible!” Caleb pulled the knife from Rafiq’s thigh and listened to him weep. Caleb had never seen Rafiq cry and it did things to him he did not expect. He wanted to feel nothing but hatred, but he couldn’t.

Caleb had done things too. He had killed and tortured. He had sold women into the very life he condemned Rafiq for thrusting him into. Caleb was no better than Rafiq. He deserved no better. Caleb had told Livvie he was sorry for what he’d done. He had meant it, but his apology could no more erase his actions, than Rafiq could erase the past.

If Livvie could show forgiveness, Caleb could try.

Caleb got up on his knees and put his hands on Rafiq’s face and turned his head toward him. Rafiq met his gaze and Caleb saw sorrow and perhaps, remorse. Caleb leaned down and kissed Rafiq on both cheeks before he looked at him steadily in the eyes. “I forgive you,” he whispered.

Rafiq smiled weakly and shut his eyes.

Caleb slowly reached back for his gun and shot Rafiq in the heart.

Afterward, he washed Rafiq’s body. He removed errant blood and dressed his wounds with strips of cotton sheets. He wept as he wrapped the body tightly.

With great difficulty, he carried him out toward one of Felipe’s gardens and buried the only family he had ever known.