Текст книги "Until Jax "

Автор книги: Aurora Rose Reynolds

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Текущая страница: 5 (всего у книги 14 страниц)

“What do you say me and you spend the day at the zoo, Angel baby?” I ask.

“Zoo?” she whispers, and then yells, “Yay! Zoo!” making me laugh.

Heading through town, I get on the highway, and it only takes about twenty minutes for us to get to the zoo. Once we park the car, I rent one of the strollers they have available, even though as of right now Hope wants to walk. I know in a couple hours she’s not going to feel the same way, and I can’t carry her like I could when she was a baby.

Walking into the zoo, I stop at one of the shops and grab an apple juice for her and a coffee for myself, along with a map.

“Where to first, Angel?” I ask her, getting down on my haunches so she can look at the map with me.

“What are those?” she asks, pointing at one of the pictures on the map.

“Those are flamingos,” I tell her, watching her face as she studies the image.

“Dey’re pink,” she says, pointing out there color.

“They are. That’s their real color.”

“Can I see them?” she asks hopefully.

“Yes,” I agree, taking her hand in mine, using my other to push the stroller as we walk along the trails, stopping every once in awhile when we pass something that catches her attention.

“Ax!” Hope yells, pulling her hand out of mine where we have stopped to look at some bison that are roaming in a large open field.

My eyes meet Jax’s before he drops to one knee, catching Hope, who throws herself into his arms. Our eyes stay locked and I swallow. He looks pissed…or whatever emotion is worse than pissed.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He smiles, kissing Hope’s cheek before setting her to the ground and taking her hand.

“Uhh…” I breathe as my heartbeat accelerates and he gets closer to me.

“Mama, Ax is here,” Hope points out happily, and I open my mouth then close it again, because nothing comes out.

“Hey, baby.” Jax bends his head toward me, touching his mouth to mine. Once again, I notice the way his lips feel—the way they are so warm, the way the top feels softer than the bottom, the way even his lips taste like cinnamon and mint, and the way I want to lean in and get closer.

“Uhh…” I stutter, opening my eyes and looking up at him.

“We’re gonna see fwamingos,” Hope tells Jax, tugging on his hand, not mentioning he kissed me, like it’s completely normal for him to do it.

“Sounds good, sweetheart.” Jax smiles, and Hope grins back then gets into the stroller, pulling the sun visor over her head, which in turn leaves me alone with him.

I swear my kid is too damn smart for her own good.

“Let’s go see the flamingos, baby,” Jax says, pulling me out of my stupor by wrapping arm around my waist and then shoving his hand down the back pocket of my jeans.

“Jax,” I hiss under my breath, twisting my hips to try to dislodge him.

“No,” he snarls under his breath near my ear. “You left me. I can’t even tell you how badly I want to bend you over something and spank the shit out of you right now.” He sounds almost pained as he growls the words at me, causing my heartbeat to thump in my ears.

“You were kissing another woman,” I whisper-yell, feeling that pain in my chest once more, and he stops the stroller, turns me, putting my back to him, and wraps his arms around my body.

“You know I fucking wasn’t, Ellie, so do not even try to pull that bullshit card with me,” he growls into my hair. I’m sure that to passersby, we look like a couple embracing. His body tight to the back of mine, one arm around my waist, the other hand up and wrapped under my jaw, holding my head to the side. I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to, and I can honestly say I don’t want to. I know he’s right. I knew when I pulled out of the driveway, but I’m so scared. So damn scared, I think as I close my eyes.

“Feel this?” he asks against my ear, pressing his erection into my back. “This only happens for you. No one else, baby, and that’s the fucking truth. You have unknowingly ruined me for all other women.”

Shaking my head, I whisper, “Jax,” while dropping my head until my chin rests on his arm.

“I was going to tell her to leave when I opened the door, but she ambushed me like a fucking spider monkey, catching me off guard. I swear I would never fucking do that,” he whispers against my neck as his hand moves to spread against my abdomen, holding me even closer to him.

“I hated it,” I tell him honestly.

“I’m sorry,” he breathes against my skin, causing the fine hairs on my body to stand on end and my body to lean back into his as my head tips to the side, wanting to feel that sensation again. “We’ll talk about it, but first, we gotta take Hope to see the flamingos,” he says, kissing that spot he just whispered against before turning me again and placing his hand back into my jeans pocket, anchoring me against his side as we walk.

“What just happened?” I ask him quietly as we take a trail up a dirt path through a bunch of trees that give the path shade.

“We just had our first fight.”

I feel my face scrunch up as I turn to face him, and he smiles, kissing my nose. “Okay, but how did you know I was here?”

“Your car has a tracker.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal while my heart gets warm. My stupid heart thinks it’s hot that he’s a stalker.

“It has a tracker?” I repeat, and he must recognize my tone, because he slows down and turns toward me again.

“It has a tracker, Ellie.” He nods then adds, “You and Hope are in that car. You both are coming to mean something to me, so if you want to be pissed about it, you’re going to just have to get over it. It’s gonna stay, and there isn’t anything you can say that will make me take it out,” he says causally, like we’re talking about the things he needs to pick up from the grocery store.

“You’re crazy,” I whisper, taking a deep gulp of air. “You’re seriously cuckoo. Like, white coat, padded room crazy,” I ramble, looking at him.

“Wasn’t crazy before you, so if I get diagnosed as mentally unstable, that’s all you, baby.” He grins and I cover my face.

“I’m going to tell your mom about this,” I tell him, knowing his mom is probably the only person on this earth that he’s scared of. Hopefully she can help me fix her son, or get him medicated, I think as we begin to walk again.

“Baby, she’s had a tracker in every car she’s owned since she and my dad got together.”

“So this is obviously genetic. Your dad is crazy too,” I tell him then feel myself slow down when I see Jax grinning. “What?” I question, tilting my head and studying him.

“Nothing. You’re just really fucking cute when you ramble.”

“I don’t ramble. Sometimes I have a lot to say about stuff, but I don’t ramble,” I gripe, knowing damn well I ramble. I have done it since I can remember. I tend to over share or say too much, when I should just shut up.

“Fine, you don’t ramble.” He smiles again then leans to the side of the stroller, looking in on Hope. “She’s out.”

“She had an early morning,” I say as we start walking again. “How mad at me is Ashlyn?” I ask after a long moment of silence.

“She’s worried,” he says quietly, pulling me a little closer to his side. “She knows how I feel about you. She also knows that women can be bitches, so she’s worried you’re gonna freak and leave all of us behind if something like this happens again.”

I want to tell him I won’t leave, that I’m brave and strong, but I know that’s a lie, so I keep my mouth closed and my side pressed tight to his as we move along the shaded path.

“I know we just met, Ellie, but I need you to know that, while we’re figuring us out, I’m all in.”

“I have a daughter, Jax,” I remind him quietly.

“So? What does Hope have to do with this?”

“I have a kid. Dating me is not as simple as dating a girl who has no responsibilities. I have a human that counts on me for everything, a mini person who lives, breathes, eats, and needs loads of attention,” I tell him, and he stops walking and turns me to face him.

“I know this, Ellie.” He smiles, leaning in and kissing my forehead before whispering there, “I know this, and I’m still here with you right now. If I wanted to be with someone else, I could be, but I’m not. I want this. I want you and Hope.”

“You scare me,” I admit, leaning my forehead into his chest.

“You scare me too, baby,” he says, taking my hand and placing it over his heart. “Do you feel that?” he asks as his heart beats against the palm of my hand.

“Yes.”

“Twice, you’ve taken it. The first time I saw you looking so afraid, like the world was against you when you walked out of those woods alone, I gave it to you. Today, when you pulled away from the house, you took it. It knows it belongs to you, so it willingly went with you when you left. It’s yours, Ellie, if you want it.”

“You’re really good at this kind of thing, aren’t you?” I ask him, lifting my eyes to meet his.

“Never done anything like this before,” he confesses, making my breath catch and my body melt deeper into his.

“There’s so much…” I pause and lean my forehead against his chest again while locking my jaw. I don’t know why I haven’t told him about Hope’s dad. Well, I guess I do. When people find out she’s not my biological daughter, they have a tendency to act like she shouldn’t call me her mom, that I shouldn’t consider her my daughter. They don’t understand that she’s mine. No, I didn’t give birth to her, but I have taken care of her since she was just a few weeks old. I was the one who endured sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and bottle feedings. I was there the first time she rolled over, her first step. I will be there for every first she has. She’s the one person in this world who loves me, really loves me, unconditionally. She was my brother’s Hope for a brighter future, and now she’s mine.

“You know the thing about time?” Jax asks softly, wrapping his hand around my jaw until my eyes meet his.

“What?” I whisper, seeing the look of longing and optimism in his gaze that has my heart beating a little harder.

“There’s always more of it. It’s one thing that will always be available, one resource that will never diminish. We have time, Ellie. I just need a chance.”

Could I do that? Give him a chance and risk being hurt again by someone I care about? I don’t know if I can, but my stomach hurts when I think about not trying, when I think about not seeing if, for once in my life, I can have what other people have, a future with someone, someone in my corner and at my side when I need them, someone to lean on when the road gets bumpy. I know Hope adores him, and he’s someone I trust with her.

“I want to try, but we have to take this slow. I haven’t…” I pause, taking a breath. “It’s been a long time since I’ve dated, and we live together.” I pause again, looking away, and say, “Until I can get a place for me and Hope…” His fingers tighten on my jaw, where he’s still holding me, causing my head to turn back toward him. “I don’t want it to get awkward,” I finish on a whisper then swallow from the look of raw determination in his eyes.

“Just tell me you’re in this with me.”

I can’t believe I’m doing this, that I’m taking this kind of risk, but I really don’t want to fight this pull I feel anymore. “I’m in,” I get out right before his lips crashes down on mine, pulling the air from my lungs as his tongue thrusts into my mouth, tangling with mine. My hands grip his shirt tightly, feeling the material between my fingers as his hands move, one sliding across my body right above my ass. The other drifts into my hair, where he wraps it in a fist so he can deepen the kiss before slowly pulling back, nipping my bottom lip one last time, leaving me panting for breath. When I open my eyes, his are on me, and there is no denying the happiness I see in their hazel depths.

I just hope he doesn’t regret this. I’ve never dated—okay, I did in high school, but it was two different boys, and all we ever did was kiss, so I don’t even think that really counts. Right after high school, I started cosmetology school and worked full time, so there was never an opportunity for me to date during that time. Then I was granted custody of Hope, so I was left with even less opportunity, and I didn’t want to bring random guys around my daughter.

Now, I’m a twenty-four-year-old virgin, with a kid and no dating experience. What the hell do I know about dating a guy like him?

“Now, let’s go see the flamingos,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts by putting me in front of him, my back to his chest, and placing his hands on the outsides of mine, which have automatically grasped the bar of the stroller in front of me. As we begin to walk again, I wrap my hands tighter around the bar so I don’t fall on my face as Jax walks behind me, occasionally nuzzling my neck, sending sensations through my body that cause my core to throb. Reaching the area where the flamingos are, I bend and check to see if Hope is still sleeping, which she is.

“Let’s just come back here when she wakes up,” I tell Jax over my shoulder.

Nodding, we move down the pathway, following a sign to the gorillas. When we reach the bottom of a small hill, there’s a rock formation that looks like a large cave. Going inside, there are three large glass panels, where you can watch the gorillas that are out lazing in the warm fall sun. On the other side, there are benches lining the walls, so you can sit in the cool air.

Moving the stroller to a bench, I sit next to Jax when he pulls me down to his side, and then I adjust Hope’s stroller in front of us, so we can keep an eye on her. Leaning my head on Jax’s shoulder, I watch the families coming and going until one of the large gorillas comes to the glass across from us, looking directly at me.

“I think you’ve got a new admirer, baby,” Jax grunts against my ear, making me smile. Getting up from the bench, I walk toward the glass, keeping my eyes on the large creature in front of me and the way he backs away then stands up on his legs and pounds his chest.

“I can see why he’s fascinated by you. You’re very beautiful.” Jumping at the voice next to me, I turn my head, coming face-to-face with a very handsome man about ten years older than me, with caramel-colored skin, dark hair, and startling green eyes, holding a young boy in his arms.

“I…thanks,” I mutter, taking another step away from him as I notice something in the way he’s looking at me is off.

“Baby, c’mere.” Turning to look at Jax, I see his eyes are on the man next to me. “Babe,” he repeats, holding out his hand. Ducking my head, I walk to him and place my hand in his. As soon as I’m in his grasp, his hand goes around my waist and he moves me to the other side of his body, the side farther away from the man and his son, then leads me outside while pushing the stroller with one hand.

“Are you okay?” I ask, feeling the muscles of his body draw tight.

“I’m good,” he says, giving my waist a squeeze as we move back up the hill we just came down. “I didn’t like the way that guy was watching you before he approached you.”

“I didn’t see him,” I admit.

“I know; you were watching the gorilla when he came in, but it wasn’t like he came in to see them. It was like he came in to watch you. I don’t even think he knew I was there until I called you over,” he says, sending a chill through me.

“I heard you on the phone this morning. You said another girl was taken,” I confess quietly while leaning over to make sure Hope is still asleep.

“Yes, another girl was taken. Her family contacted me. The police can’t do anything yet, because it hasn’t been more than seventy-two hours. She was hoping we could look into it.”

“What are you doing here? You should be out looking for her.”

“All of my guys are on it, and at the risk of sounding like an asshole, baby, you’re more important to me than any of that. I needed to come make sure you were okay,” he states.

“Jax, I’m okay, but you have to help her. Do you know how scared I was when I was taken? I prayed over and over that someone would find me, that someone would be looking for me, but I knew I was praying in vain, ’cause the people who should have informed the police I went missing were the same people who set me up to be taken in the first place.”

“I’m so fucking sorry, baby,” he says, letting out a ragged breath and holding me a little tighter.

“You have to find her,” I repeat, feeling my throat close up with emotions.

“We’re working on it, and so are Wes and the guys.”

“Wes is helping?” I ask with a frown. I know Wes and a few of his friends own a repair shop, but I didn’t know he helps Jax out, and July never mentioned it.

“Since July was taken, he’s been on a mission to find the guy who got away.”

“Are you guys any closer? Do you know who he is?” I ask, hearing the hope in my voice.

“We’re getting closer,” he says, but I notice he doesn’t fully answer my question, which makes me wonder what he’s trying to keep from me or if I’m in danger.

“Nothing is going to happen to you, Ellie. No one is going to get close to you or Hope; you have my word.”

“You can’t promise that, Jax,” I whisper as fear creeps over me.

“I can promise you that,” he growls. “You and Hope are mine, and anyone who even thinks about harming either of you will wish they were never born.”

“Jax, you’re not a cop,” I remind him.

“I don’t answer to the law, Ellie, and that makes me their worst nightmare,” he snarls, wrapping his arms so tightly around me that I have a hard time taking a breath. Huffing heavily, I do a face plant against his chest, praying he can keep both Hope and me safe.

Chapter 5

Jax

Parking in front of my office, I growl when I see Mellissa is standing out front, holding two cups of coffee and her eyes on me.

“Fuck.”

I know she got my text. I knew she was going to ignore it and the fact I told her to call me when she had a few minutes, so we could talk. I also know her well enough to comprehend she would show up here so she could attempt to have it out with me face-to-face.

I don’t want to deal with her shit today, not when I left Ellie and Hope at home eating pancakes that I made them for breakfast, both my girls still looking sleepy as I kissed them each goodbye, so I could come into the office and deal with a phone call I had to make this morning.

Getting out of the cab of the truck, I slam the door and pull my office keys from my front pocket.

“Hey, stranger.” Mellissa smiles as I get close, handing me a cup of coffee that I take then walk four steps to the garbage can on the corner of the street and dump it in.

“That was rude.” She frowns, watching me as I step up to the building and open the door.

“I told you to call me, Mellissa. I didn’t tell you to stop by and bring me coffee.” I know I’m being an asshole, but this chick only understands asshole. If I try to go about this playing the roll of the good guy, she will read that signal wrong and think I want back in there, which I don’t.

“I figured we could talk over coffee,” she pouts.

“We don’t need to have a sit-down, Mellissa. All I want is for you to understand that we fucked once five months ago. You’re not my girl. You haven’t been my girl since we were kids. I don’t want to be with you, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop giving my mom messages to give to me. She’s too nice to tell you that she thinks you’re a snob, and will kick my ass if I even thought about getting back with you.”

“Is this about that bitch with the kid?” she asks angrily, throwing her cup of coffee on the ground at my feet, causing the hot liquid to come up, soaking the bottom of my jeans.

Taking a step closer to her, I growl, “That’s my woman, so tread very lightly, Mellissa. I don’t give a fuck who your dad is.”

“She’s trash, Jax.”

“I suggest you leave,” Sage says, coming from across the street. “You don’t, and I’m calling my dad, Mellissa, and let’s just say if he searches your car, you’re going to jail, and I don’t think your daddy would be very happy with you if that happened.”

“I don’t have anything in my car,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at my younger cousin.

“You don’t?” he asks then looks over her shoulder toward her car. “Saw your car parked outside of a house on fifth last night, the same house that got raided this morning. The house was clean, but I doubt your car is,” he says, and I watch her face pale. Then, without another word, she moves to her car, hops in, and speeds off down the street.

“What was that about?” I ask him, and he shrugs.

“Lucky guess. I know she’s been hooking up with a guy named Benji. He’s a low rank drug dealer, but this week, a large supply of meth came through, and the rumor is he was going to begin selling it. The cops raided his house this morning, but found nothing, not even a joint,” he says as I open the office door, and then he asks, “Why was she here?”

“She’s heard about Ellie, and has been spreading rumors that we’re getting back together to anyone who will listen. I told her to call me so I could tell her to cut the shit, but she showed up here instead.”

“You got the magic stick, Cuz.” He grins, following me down the hall.

“You’re an idiot,” I say, shaking my head. I head across the hall to my office, leaving him in the kitchen area to put on a pot of coffee.

Tossing my keys on the desk, I pull out my cell and pick up my desk phone, calling back the number that was texted to me this morning while I was making the girls’ breakfast.

“Jax?” my friend since high school, Mav, answers, picking up on the second ring.

“How’s it going, man?” I ask, picking up the mail and sifting through it.

“It’s going. Alexa is getting ready to pop at any minute. I’m hoping to close down this case in time to get home, so I can be there to watch my daughter take her first breath.”

I can’t imagine doing what he does. Living with the scum, working undercover, having to be away from my family for weeks on end, missing important events and life moments. I don’t think I could do it, but I respect Mav, because he does. All I know is that because of him, there are families that sleep easier at night.

“So, what new info do you have for me?” I prompt.

“Yesterday, Deborah Anthony was taken into custody on drug charges. There should be a call going through sometime this afternoon regarding the case of Ellie Anthony, and the roll Deborah played in her kidnapping.”

“That’s good, but I don’t understand why you’re calling me. You know my uncle would have gotten this information to me.”

“You’re right, but before she was taken into custody, she had a conversation with one of my informants about a way to make twenty grand easy,” he says, and I take a seat, feeling my brows draw together.

“How is that?’” I ask, not really sure if I’m ready to hear what he’s going to tell me, especially if this information has anything to do with Ellie.

“She told him all he had to do was find a virgin, and then tell Deborah who the girl was. The girl would be abducted, and they would get the money and could split it fifty/fifty.”

“She’s selling virgins?” I ask in disbelief.

“She’s selling virgins, and when my informant told her she was full of shit, she explained to him that she knows it’s legit, ’cause the first one she sold was her daughter.”

“You know Ellie has a kid, right?” It’s something he knows; he’s read the police report. He knew I was taking Ellie up to Kentucky to pick up Hope.

“She doesn’t have a kid, Jax. I’m not saying she doesn’t think of Hope as hers, but Hope is her brother’s daughter. He, his longtime girlfriend, and Hope were in a car accident. Ellie’s brother and his girlfriend died on impact. Hope survived with minor injuries, and Ellie was granted custody of her shortly after she was released from the hospital.”

“You’re kidding, right? She looks just like her,” I say, feeling something sour settle in the bottom of my stomach.

“They’re family,” he says quietly, understanding the distress in my voice.

“Jesus.” I rub my chest, feeling a stabbing pain where my heart is.

“She never told you? I figured she would have said something to you about it,” he mumbles, sounding distracted.

“She never told me,” I confirm.

“Sorry, man.”

“Is she still on their radar?” I ask, knowing if they were paying that much for her, chances are they won’t give her up that easily.

“This is still an open case, so the guys are still out there, but if I had to guess, I would say no. These are not dumb men, and they know her story made the news. They are not going to want that kind of attention.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Still keep vigilant,” he warns.

“Will do, and let me know if you want me to go check on Alexa.”

“I will never send you to check on my wife, Mayson.”

“You know she loves me.”

“Don’t remind me,” he jokes then mutters, “We’ll talk soon.”

“Talk to you soon,” I agree, hanging up and sitting back in my chair, raising my arms above my head, locking my fingers together and putting them behind my neck, closing my eyes and trying to figure out what I’m feeling right now.

Hope isn’t Ellie’s daughter. I don’t even know if I should confront her about this, or if I should just wait until she comes to me with the information.

“Jesus.” Shaking my head, I pull off my hat, toss it on top of my desk, and run my hand through my hair.

She’s a virgin? What the fuck is that about? And is it even true? She’s gorgeous, and I have a hard time believing she’s never had a relationship. I don’t even think I’ve ever had sex with a virgin.

“Fuck,” I growl, feeling myself get hard. Apparently my dick likes the idea of her still having her virginity.

Getting up, I grab my hat and go across the hall to the kitchen, finding Sage and one of my new guys, Evan, talking quietly. Noticing the look on Evan’s face, I ask, “What’s up?”

“I just asked Evan to check into this new guy June is dating,” Sage says, and I look back at Evan, feeling my brows pull downward when I notice the look in his eyes from moments ago is gone, now replaced with a blank expression.

“Why are we looking into June’s new man?” I ask.

My cousin is going to college in Alabama, and I know she’s planning on moving home as soon as she graduates. I haven’t heard anything about her having a boyfriend, but that doesn’t surprise me. The females in my family have a tendency to play their cards close to the chest, and they sure as hell don’t tell us about the men they are dating.

“I overheard Willow and Harmony talking about him and didn’t like the vibe I got.” Sage shrugs.

“You’re looking into him based on a vibe you got from an overheard conversation?”

“I can’t explain it, and Evan’s mom still lives in the area, so I asked him to check in on it the next time he was up there to visit.”

“Are you good with that?” I ask Evan.

“Yeah, it’s no trouble. I should be up there this weekend, so I’ll ask around while I’m there,” he says casually, but I notice a tic in his jaw that wasn’t present before.

“You know the girls hate it when we interfere,” I say, slipping my hat back on and putting my cell in my back pocket.

“Yeah, but they always get over it.” Sage smiles.

“Well, this one’s on you.” I move to the door. I had enough drama when I was dealing with July and Wes when they got together.

“I’m stepping out for a couple hours, but I’ll have my cell on me,” I tell them over my shoulder, getting two chin lifts before I close the door behind me.

Getting in my truck, I back out, first thinking about going home, but I know I can’t do that yet. I need to take some time to cool off. I don’t know if I should tell Ellie I know about Hope, or if I need to let her come to me. Feeling conflicted, I drive, and before I even realize where I’m going, I pull up in front of my parents’ house.

Staring at the house I grew up in, I feel my gut get tight as I’m bombarded by happy memories. Without thinking, I shut down the truck, get out, and head up the front walk, tapping twice before opening the door.

“Mom?” I call into the house as I walk through the living room.

“In here, honey,” she calls back, sticking her head out the laundry room door that’s off the kitchen. “Give me a minute. Did you have breakfast?” she asks, and I hear the washer start up.

“Yeah, I had a protein shake,” I tell her, watching her face scrunch up as she walks into the kitchen.

“I have no idea how you drink those things; they taste like dirt,” she says, making me smile.

“You eat dirt often, Mom?” I joke, taking a seat at the island across from her.

“No, but I’m sure that’s what it tastes like.” She smiles, but then her eyes search my face and her smile disappears. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh, pulling my hat off my head and setting it on the bar, and then I scrub my hands down my face. “Hope isn’t Ellie’s daughter,” I blurt, needing to get it off my chest.

“Yes, she is,” she replies immediately, frowning.

“She’s not. Hope is Ellie’s brother’s daughter. He and Hope’s mom died in a car accident when Hope was just weeks old, and Ellie was granted custody shortly after that when she was nineteen.”

I watch tears from in her eyes then slip silently down her cheeks as she studies me. “You’re not my blood, Jax,” she whispers softly, and I feel my throat close up. “I love you as if I gave birth to you, but you don’t have my blood pumping through your veins.”

She tilts her head back as more tears fall from her eyes.

“No one…no one could ever tell me you’re not my son. I love you with the same fierceness I love Ashlyn with. You’re my boy. This is where you belong to me,” she says, pointing at her heart.

Swallowing, I choke on the emotions that seem to be suffocating me as I look at the woman who raised me, the woman I have called mom since I can remember. Watching her eyes light with a fire for me has my vision going cloudy.

“Hope is Ellie’s daughter, honey,” she says quietly, and I blink until I can see clearly again. “You don’t have to give birth to a child to love it as your own.”

Nodding, I swallow again, get up from the stool I was sitting on, walk around the island, and then take my mom into my arms as she cries.

“She’s so strong, Jax, so strong, and beautiful, and she loves Hope with everything she has inside of her.” She leans back, placing her hand on my cheek. “Please, understand that before you go to her with what you found out. If she thinks you feel like Hope isn’t her daughter, it will really hurt her.” She shakes her head, closing her eyes, and I can hear the anguish in her voice as she says, “She’s was just a baby herself when she took on the responsibility of raising a child that she didn’t give birth to. That tells me everything I need to know about the kind of woman Ellie is, and I hope you understand the amazing woman you have sleeping under your roof right now.”