Текст книги "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

Автор книги: Anne Melody

Соавторы: Jennifer Probst,Emma Chase,Kate Meader
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Текущая страница: 18 (всего у книги 25 страниц)

chapter
15

I can’t come with your family!”

Natalie was standing in her living room, still wearing her pajamas and looking at Hawk as if he were insane. There was no way she would intrude on his family at Christmas. It was bad enough she’d been thrust upon them on Thanksgiving.

“You’re coming,” he said with the same sickeningly confident smile he’d been sporting since he’d walked in the front door.

“No, I’m not, Hawk. Christmas is family time.”

“And you have no other family, so my mother has decided to adopt you,” he told her. “Besides, she’s invited a few other friends. The holidays are about more than just family being together. It’s a time to leave no one out.”

Natalie turned away, pretending to wipe dust from the spotless end table as tears forced their way into her eyes. Dammit, she was always crying now, like some sappy twit, and she sure as sin didn’t want to expose her vulnerability where family was concerned. Her relationship with Hawk had been moving at the speed of light, and she felt overwhelmed.

To hear him say so casually that his mother had adopted her choked her up. But she was never going to admit to anyone how badly she wanted to be part of a real family. It would make her sound too desperate, too pathetic.

“Hey? What’s wrong?”

Hawk came up behind her, slipped his arms around her waist, and tugged her against him. Great. Having him touch her certainly wouldn’t help her gain control over her wretched emotions.

Despite all her efforts, a damned tear fell. They hadn’t spoken of the future. They hadn’t talked about a happily-ever-after. She hadn’t told him how she felt about him.

“Nothing. I’m just . . .” She was just what? She had no freaking idea.

“I’m not demanding that you come with us,” he said softly, his breath washing across her cheek. “I’m asking you to please make this Christmas my best one ever, and join us.”

How could she tell him no after that? “Okay,” she whispered.

“Why is this so hard on you?” he asked again, this time making her face him.

Natalie suddenly needed to speak about it, needed to release the weight from her shoulders. He said nothing more as he waited, his hands caressing her arms and back. She could do this.

“I . . . it was always just me and my mother while I was growing up. She had me when she was only fifteen, and I grew up in shelters, and then she worked hard and got us a little apartment. Mom worked all the time, I mean like seven days a week. Even working so much, we never had enough—not enough food, clothes, not enough to pay the bills. Mom told me over and over again not to mess up like she’d done, not to fall for a guy who would walk away at the first sign of trouble. She told me to go to school, get an education, and get a good job. She was bitter a lot, but she did love me.”

“I’m sure she loved you very much,” he whispered when she paused for too long.

“She did,” Natalie sighed. “She did the best she could. But I had no family, Hawk. I had no one but her and she was gone so much. We didn’t do holidays; we didn’t celebrate much. I feel like I’m betraying her by enjoying my life.”

“You feel that way because you are kind and caring. But, Natalie, if she truly loved you, she would want you to be happy. Don’t all parents want better for their children than what they had for themselves?”

“I don’t know, Hawk . . .” Would her mom forgive her for straying from her goals? She honestly didn’t know.

“I know I want my kids to be happy,” he said.

“Do you have some secret children you’ve been hiding from me, Hawk?” She smiled up at him, trying so hard to quit her self-pity party.

“It’s not that easy to divert my attention, Natalie. Let my family love you. Don’t feel guilt about it, and don’t feel sadness. Just let us love you.”

When he said us, her heart leapt with joy. But what exactly did he mean by it? The question was on the tip of her tongue, but she wasn’t brave enough to ask—not yet, not now. After an extended silence, Natalie was relieved when he asked whether she needed help packing. Their talk was over for now, and she’d survived it. She’d shared something with him, and he hadn’t turned away in disgust. There was hope, after all, that the two of them would make this relationship last longer than his three-date maximum.

As they moved through the house, he looked up and smiled. “My family has a cabin up in the woods where we spend Christmas every year,” he told her.

“I’ve never seen a white Christmas,” Natalie admitted, not that she’d ever gotten to celebrate Christmas, not really. “I’m kind of excited, though I still hate the idea of snow on every day other than Christmas.”

“Let’s get your bags in the truck and get up there. You will never miss California again after spending Christmas at our family cabin.”

“I already don’t miss it, Hawk.”

The smile he sent her as he helped her into his truck almost made her heart stop. “Natalie Duncan, I’m not letting you escape.” With that, he closed her door and moved around to the driver’s side, leaving Natalie to wonder exactly what he meant by that.

When they arrived at the cabin a couple of hours later, she learned that her idea of a cabin and Hawk’s idea were completely different. Yes, the building was made from logs, but this place wasn’t some rustic little cabin in the woods. It was enormous! Large enough to house several families and all their friends.

That was a good thing, because when they walked in the door, Natalie found what appeared to be half the town inside. Several dozen people were gathered in the spacious living room, their voices carrying with its high vaulted ceilings. Christmas decorations adorned the walls and eggnog sloshed in everyone’s cup.

No one made a big deal when she and Hawk arrived, for which Natalie was grateful. They just greeted the two of them with eggnog and spoke with Natalie like she belonged. It didn’t take too long for her to grow comfortable and realize this wasn’t a dream. When it came time to go hunting for a Christmas tree, she was thankful she didn’t miss out on joining Hawk and his family and their many friends.

“Are you too cold?”

Natalie entwined her arm with Hawk’s and snuggled a little closer. “A bit, but it’s refreshing. I still can’t believe I’m going to have my very first Christmas with snow!”

“Tell me more about your life in California, more about your life with your mom.”

She’d finally opened up to someone, finally shared a small piece of her past, and now she found herself wanting to share it all. But if he knew the truth, the full truth, wouldn’t that frighten him away? Even with that thought she couldn’t seem to stop herself from speaking. Now that he’d opened the floodgates to her past, the words came rushing out.

“You know that it was just me and my mother and that she worked a lot. So, from the time I was little, I was on my own most of the time. That’s why I loved school, because then I was with other people.”

“Was it miserable?” Hawk stopped and leaned against a large tree, pulling her into the cradle of his arms as he rubbed his hands up and down her back.

“No. The thing was that even though we didn’t have a whole heck of a lot, I wasn’t unhappy. I loved my mom, even during the bad times. I loved what little time we got to spend together. I didn’t need to have the newest pair of jeans, or to go to summer camp. When she died, I was devastated. It took me a lot of years before I felt like I could live again. She did the best she could. . . .”

“You impress me, Natalie.”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t dwell on the bad memories. You even manage to find a way to turn the tough times into positive experiences. You humble me with your attitude.”

“I’m not that noble, Hawk,” she said with an uncomfortable laugh.

“We’ll have to just agree to disagree,” he said before giving her a kiss that melted the snow that was covering them.

chapter
16

I love my family, but they’re a bit overwhelming,” Hawk said later that night as he and Natalie strolled outside, hand in hand.

“Yes, but I honestly enjoy spending time with them. I think your mother and I baked at least five hundred Christmas cookies today,” Natalie said with a laugh as they approached a large red barn.

“Want to see something really cool?”

“Always.”

He opened the barn door and they stepped inside. She didn’t see him turn around and engage the latch.

“Over here,” he said, and he led her through the ginormous building.

They entered a large room behind another door, and before her was an old cherry-red fire truck.

“It’s seventy years old and my dad and I spent ten summers bringing her back into mint condition. I love this engine.” He couldn’t contain his excitement when he ran his hand along the shiny bumper. That small gesture had her stomach clenching as she thought back to the other fire engine and the first night they’d made love.

It had been several days since they’d last been intimate, and now that her body knew how incredible sex between them was, she didn’t want to miss out on the feel of his hands and his . . . never mind . . . for even a single second more.

Without much sound, Hawk was suddenly behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and tugging her close. “Want to see where I had my first kiss?”

Natalie tensed at the thought of Hawk ever kissing anyone else.

“Hawk!” she snapped, no longer wanting to play as she had ten seconds before.

“Awww, come on. The place is really cool.”

“I seriously have no desire to see where you kissed some trashy girl.”

“Well, can you really be trashy at five years old?”

“Five? Really?” she asked suspiciously.

“Yep. I was five and kissed JoBeth up in the hayloft,” he stated proudly.

“And how many other girls did you kiss in the hayloft as the years passed?” Natalie had no intention of being just one of many.

“I kissed lots of girls in lots of haylofts, but, alas, only JoBeth in this one,” he replied.

“Fine. Show me this loft, but if you think you’re going to get any kisses out of me, then you will be very disappointed.”

They climbed a ladder and then Hawk was right behind Natalie, nuzzling her neck. “I’m not kissing you, Hawk,” she said again, but her voice came out breathy because his hands were slipping beneath her shirt and touching the bare skin of her stomach.

“Why? Don’t you like my secret hideaway?” he murmured as he gently nipped her shoulder while his fingers climbed higher, lightly brushing across her breasts.

“No,” she replied, though they both knew she was lying, especially when she pushed back against him and rolled her hips so she could better feel his arousal.

He lowered his fingers across her abs and reached for the zipper of her jeans, taking his time in releasing the material that was binding her. Natalie gave up even the smallest pretense that she didn’t want this.

“Yes, Hawk. Faster.”

He didn’t disappoint her. He slid his hands inside the denim and gave a good push, and then her jeans were pooling at her feet, landing on the hay to provide a nice barrier between their bare skin and the dry grass when they became horizontal.

With her back still to him, Hawk pushed her legs apart, leaned in, and sucked on her neck while he slipped a hand inside the silk of her panties and found her core more than ready for his touch.

“I love how you respond to me,” he groaned in her ear, causing a shudder to rip through her.

“You make me catch fire, Hawk.”

“You inspire me, Natalie.”

He took her shirt away, adding it to the pile beside them, then flung her bra aside, leaving her gasping while his hands wandered all over her.

“More,” she begged, moaning as he pinched her hard nipples.

Dropping them both to their knees, he turned her around and kissed her before edging back just a couple of inches so he could remove his shirt, revealing his incredible abs and disgracefully hard pecs. With sure fingers, he undid the buttons on his jeans and pushed the denim down his muscular legs. When he unveiled her favorite part of his body, she gasped in anticipation. Soon, very soon, that pulsing arousal would take her to new heights of pleasure.

Natalie pushed him backward, and he lost his balance. She crawled up his legs, her tongue licking along the sweet muscles of his thighs until she reached his manhood. Without hesitation, she grabbed his hardness and took her first taste of him. Oh my . . .

“Natalie,” he groaned.

She didn’t answer him; she just moved her hand up and down his throbbing arousal while she sucked on it. After a couple of minutes, he pushed her back, his face crimson, his eyes wild.

“Your turn,” he growled, easily flipping her over onto her back. “Hold on!”

Hold on to what? she wondered before she couldn’t think anymore, because he’d slid his hands beneath her thighs and was taking his turn at tasting her. Natalie cried out as his masterful tongue stroked her pulsing flesh, taking her higher and higher as she strove for release. His low moans mingled with her cries in such beautiful music that Natalie felt tears sting her eyes.

When the first explosion of pleasure raced through her, she rode the wave, loving how he drew it out, loving the perfect way he played her body. He slowed his touch, murmuring his approval of her response to him. Then he shifted, his eyes hungry, almost starving, as he looked down at her flushed skin. Without another word, Hawk climbed up her sated body and then plunged inside her, making her cry out again at such a welcome invasion.

“More,” she practically sobbed as he moved back and then thrust forward again, and she dug her nails into the slick skin of his back.

“Yes, Natalie. Give me your pleasure . . . Let it go,” he demanded.

How could she possibly refuse him? Her body knew what it wanted, and when he thrust forward again, she gripped him tightly as a violent wave of ecstasy rushed through her. Hawk’s shout of joy followed quickly.

“I could make love to you all night,” Hawk said as he kissed her slowly, tenderly, making her stomach start to flutter again.

She giggled. “You wouldn’t hear any complaints from me.”

Her lips parted when she felt him growing hard against her thigh. Whoa. Impossible. Hawk proceeded to prove to her that he wasn’t just offering up empty promises . . .

chapter
17

Natalie shot straight up in bed, clutching the comforter to her chest as her heart pounded.

“What’s wrong?” Hawk slowly sat up beside her with blurry eyes. They couldn’t have been asleep for more than a couple of hours.

“What was that?” she asked as she tried to calm herself.

“What was what?” He still wasn’t awake.

“How in the heck can you wake up at a tiny little beep from your pager, but then sleep through what sounds like a bomb exploding?”

“I don’t know. You just learn to tune out certain noises,” he said with a crooked smile as he began rubbing a hand along her thigh.

Natalie jumped again as the door was thrust open and Hawk’s sister gazed in at them, her face going from excited to impish at finding Natalie in her brother’s room.

“Go away, brat!” Hawk said as Natalie tried to hide beneath the covers. Dang. She wished that he hadn’t insisted she spend a little time in his bedroom last night.

“Not a chance, Hawk,” Taylor said. “It’s Christmas morning and I want to open my presents.” She crossed her arms against her chest and stamped her foot, a mutinous scowl on her face.

“You’re not five anymore, Taylor. You’re twenty-three,” he pointed out.

“And you’re well past five, old enough to have set your alarm for the big family celebration. Anyway, I don’t care how old a person gets. If you’re not excited about Christmas morning, you just aren’t human. By the way, hi, Natalie!”

Smoked out. Natalie peeked over the covers, her face scarlet. “Hi, Taylor. Please don’t tell your mom,” she whispered, mortified at the thought of Maggie knowing she was in Hawk’s room, even if they were adults.

“Then you’d better get downstairs fast,” Taylor said with a satisfied grin.

Natalie was more than willing to agree to the demand, but the two stubborn siblings remained in a deadlock for several tense moments while Natalie’s head whipped back and forth between them. Finally, Hawk let out a disgusted sigh.

“Fine. We’re coming,” he said. “Turn around for just a moment, my darling sister.” He threw off the covers, yanked on the pair of sweats that he’d discarded nearby, and rose from the bed.

Natalie’s mouth dropped open at the sight of his naked back. It didn’t help that the sweatpants rode so low on his amazing hips. No matter how many times she saw this man half dressed, he still awed her.

“Close your mouth, Natalie, before you let in some flies,” Taylor said with a mischievous grin as she turned back to face them.

“I swear I’m not going to give you your presents if you don’t go away right now,” Hawk said, and he moved threateningly toward the door.

“Fine. But if you aren’t down in five minutes, I’m coming back,” Taylor said, before adding, “and I’m bringing Mom!”

Hawk shut the door in her face. He turned and winked at Natalie. “I can set up a barricade.”

“It’s tempting . . .” And she actually considered it. But the sound of more footsteps thundering down the stairs caused her to sigh and climb from the bed. “Nope. We better get moving,” she said as she floated to the en-suite bathroom after grabbing her clothes from the floor.

It was going to be tricky enough sneaking back to her room without being seen. No way was she doing it without a quick shower first. When she came out, Hawk grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her into his arms, letting her feet dangle in the air. “I love it when your cheeks are all rosy.”

“It’s been well over five minutes,” Natalie reminded him with a giggle. “We’d better go before they send out a search party.”

He kissed her and then set her back on her feet. Hand in hand, they went to the door. And right there on the other side was Taylor with a perturbed look that made Natalie laugh in spite of herself.

“I’m sorry, Taylor. I took a really quick shower.”

“Most people wait till after the presents are opened to shower,” Taylor grumbled, but as it was Christmas morning, she forgave them both. Still, she wedged herself in between them to lead them down the stairs.

Natalie couldn’t help but grow excited herself when she found Hawk’s entire family and several other family friends all sitting around the giant living room with a huge tree taking center stage and so many gifts that it looked like a department store had exploded.

Soon, laughter filled the cabin as paper tore and thank-yous rang out. Natalie had to fight emotion as present upon present was thrust her way. She took her time with each one, not wanting to ruin the paper, and not wanting this moment ever to end.

She had never, ever received so many gifts before, and she felt guilty because she hadn’t been able to do nearly as much for this wonderful family as they were doing for her. She hadn’t expected to spend Christmas with them, but she’d still purchased a few items she’d planned on giving them after Christmas. What did you get a family that obviously had so much? When a tiny package was thrust at her, she was concentrating so hard on not ruining the paper that she didn’t notice how quiet the room had become.

She found a small jewelers’ box inside the wrapping, and the thought that she was about to get a pretty new trinket made her absolutely gleeful. No one in the room could have missed the brilliance of that smile. But when she opened the case and found a magnificent diamond ring inside, she almost dropped it.

Lifting her face, she saw Hawk staring intently at her with a look of love so tender that she was grateful to be sitting cross-legged on the floor already.

“Natalie, I know this has been quick. I know that you’re probably terrified right now, and I know I should have done this more privately so you could tell me to take a flying leap if you wanted. But I love my family and I want them to be a part of this moment, because up until meeting you, I didn’t think there could ever be another person in my life who would make me feel the things you make me feel. Even though it’s only been a month, I know you better than any other person could, and I love that. I feel like what we have together is one hundred times stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before. I never thought anyone could make me as happy as you do. Everything that’s stressful in my life disappears the second I see your smile. I can say with one hundred percent certainty that you are my soul mate. There is a plan for everyone and I know that you are my only future. I will never let you go no matter what your answer is. Please marry me and make me the happiest man alive.”

He didn’t break the connection of their eyes, and though he’d shown her day after day that he wanted to be with her, this was something she would have never expected from him, not because he wasn’t perfect, but because she wasn’t. At least she wasn’t in her own eyes. Natalie didn’t know what to say.

Yes, this had moved quickly, and yes, she should try to think logically, but running over the last month in her head, she knew that she was happiest when with him, whether at the school, or in the gym, or just sitting and playing a board game at his parents’ place. Their love would only grow stronger from this day forward.

This wasn’t a part of her plans. This wasn’t even on the table, but love didn’t care. They had found each other and there was nothing that would change how they felt. Nothing.

“I love you, too, Hawk,” she whispered. And she didn’t even notice that her voice had wobbled. “I love that you care about me, insecurities and all. I love that you see me differently than I see myself, and I love that family is so important to you. I want a family; I’ve just always been afraid to ask for one. I thought I had a plan I needed to follow, but what you’ve taught me is that the best things in life aren’t planned—they’re discovered.”

“Will you marry me, Natalie?”

“Right this minute if I could,” she told him.

Soft sighs echoed through the room as Hawk moved forward, pulled Natalie to her feet, and drew her gently into his arms, where he sealed their promises to each other with a tender kiss. Love had found them this holiday season, and it had taken hold of both of their hearts. And it wasn’t about to let go.