Текст книги "Release Me"

Автор книги: Ann Marie Walker

Соавторы: Amy K. Rogers
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Текущая страница: 6 (всего у книги 18 страниц)

Chapter Ten

Hudson wasn’t accustomed to losing a battle, especially not in the boardroom. Liquidating the newspaper division made perfect sense when balancing down to the bottom line. But Allie maintained the print edition was the cornerstone of Ingram, what her grandfather had built his empire on, and had cleverly used that nostalgia to her advantage.

She’d backed up her claim that it was the most identifiable brand within their holdings by coming to the meeting armed with meticulous numbers and a shit-ton of research. When someone targeted her theory she fired back, countering the naysayer with brass facts. More importantly, she presented expansion options for the current online content to include streaming media components that were projected to more than compensate for any resulting loss in revenue.

He had to hand it to her, she’d done her homework, presented her case, and persuaded the votes she needed to lock in the new direction of Ingram Media. Hot-fucking-damn, he should have been pissed she’d persuaded the board to side with her, but instead he was impressed. And it took all of his self-control not to clap his palms together when the meeting ended.

As everyone filed out of the room, Allie shuffled some papers around, then tapped them against the mahogany. A slight smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as if she were finding some satisfaction, even a little joy, from her victory in their power play.

Despite being out of options, Hudson’s will remained the same. He still wanted the woman who was doing everything in her power to ignore his presence. But she was giving him nothing to grab onto, nothing to draw her to him and make her see how fucking sorry he was. Without her the world no longer made sense. All he had were memories that bled into the horrific morning when she discovered his deception. The lies that cost him everything and left him a giant void in the shape of a grown man.

Allie looked up at him. Her smile smoothed out and the room became as cold as a morgue. “What are you waiting for?”

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday. That wasn’t exactly how—”

“Don’t.” She cut him off with a sharp wave of her hand. “I meant, why aren’t you buying more shares of Ingram? One percent isn’t much at the aggressive rate you were acquiring stock. You could have surpassed me by now and then you wouldn’t have lost today’s vote.”

Hudson sucked in a breath and exhaled in a rush. “I’m not taking your father’s company away from you, Alessandra.”

“Why not? Wasn’t that the plan? Snatch Ingram out from under him while his daughter was under you?”

“Sleeping with you was never part of the plan.” Hudson remained calm, keeping his hands in his pockets and one ankle crossed over the other as he leaned against the wall. His eyes, however, were locked on Allie with the stealth and shrewdness of a hawk.

“But there was a plan, wasn’t there?”

“Not one that involved you.”

“No? So I was just an added perk then? Or maybe I’m flattering myself. Maybe it was all part of some twisted revenge for what I did to you ten years ago. Maybe you hated every minute of it.” Her words gained momentum with every syllable she lashed at him.

“Enough.” Hudson pushed away from the wall and drew his hand out of his pocket as he methodically moved toward her. On the outside he appeared calculated, while on the inside his spine started to vibrate. It was a sensation he’d grown familiar with around her, a big two-ton fuck me. He wanted her back and in the dangerous-edge kind of way. “Verbal daggers are getting us nowhere. Surely you know me better than to think I’ll give up. Hear me out; give me a chance to explain.” He played the only card he had left. “Then if you want, I’ll leave you alone.”

Allie regarded him for a long moment, then crossed her arms over her chest. “Fine, I’m listening.”

“I swear in the beginning I didn’t know.”

“But eventually you did know. And yet you said nothing. Not even when we were at the lake.” Her voice wavered. “In front of the fire.”

“I planned to tell you.”

“Making a decision is not taking action, Hudson.”

“Goddamn it, Allie.” Hudson balled his hand into a fist. He wanted to punch something, but all the fucking walls were glass, nailing them into a goddamn fishbowl. Lucky for them the conference room came with the frost-yourself special. Hudson jutted out an arm and hit the switch. Instantly the glass turned opaque.

“You really think it was all some scheme for revenge?” He laughed in a short burst. “You’re giving me too much credit. Hurting you wasn’t on my business plan.” He pivoted and ran a hand through his hair. When he faced her again, it was head-on. “You think that low of me?”

“I don’t have evidence that says otherwise. You’d lied to me the entire time we were together.”

“Not about how I felt, Allie, never about how I felt. I should have been honest with you about the rest, but the feelings I had for you were real.”

Now she was the one to let out a mocking laugh. “Feelings? Do you have any idea what it feels like to be deceived by the people closest to your heart?”

The reality of what his omission had done to her weighed heavily on him. Fuck that, he might as well have been wearing lead shoes at the bottom of the ocean.

“I lost you, I lost my parents. I lost my life as I knew it and everything I’ve ever known to be true.”

“Allie, listen, please . . .”

“It’s too late for this, Hudson. The damage is done.” She glared at him. “And this time it wasn’t me who royally screwed things up. You took care of that all on your own the day you decided to target my family.”

Hudson rubbed his temples and a vicious frown pulled at the corners of his mouth. “It wasn’t a personal attack on your father. It was business, nothing more. I was after the company, same as any other I’ve acquired, and I wasn’t seated alone in the crowd of prospective buyers. The fact that Ingram Media was on the verge of bankruptcy was public knowledge.”

“If it wasn’t personal, then why did you meet with him?”

Hudson blinked. “I met with your father to offer him a deal. The day after we came back from Lake Geneva, I was having second thoughts about—”

“Second thoughts?” Allie cut him off.

“About not salvaging Ingram Media. It’s a viable company with a wealth of potential. What I proposed was that the acquisition go through and Ingram become a subsidiary of Chase Industries. I told your father he could remain on as president.”

“He wasn’t interested in taking you up on the offer?”

Hudson paused and considered his answer. He seemed to be stepping into one pothole after another, and like hell if he was going to twist his motherfucking ankle on this one. But he swore to himself that he would never lie to her again, despite how much the truth hurt. Scratch that, he couldn’t tell her how her father had lashed out at him with anger sharper than any blade and handed him a one way ticket to “Go to hell” that read “Fuck you” on it.

“No,” he said with heavy sigh. “He wasn’t going down without a fight. He wanted a family member to man the helm and push Ingram Media into the future. Despite what transpired, the hell he was pushing you into with that French fuck, he loved you and believed in you. I believe in you, Allie.” The gravel tone of his voice was pleading, and when Allie met his eyes, there was a subtle softening; a pain mixed with an unrequited need. “I’m sorry.” The words didn’t even begin to cover it, but in the end it was the best he could do.

“It doesn’t change anything.”Allie’s eyes drifted shut. “You have to let me go, Hudson. Release me.”

Chapter Eleven

As Hudson hit the exit of the rehab facility he felt like he was being chased, which was goddamn insane. There wasn’t anyone of threat behind him, except the biography of people bottoming out after snorting cocaine through deviated septums. The similar tie to them all was that the disease was a destroyer and it had not only claimed his mother, but was a grim reaper circling, ready to take his little brother down.

Fuck if that was going to happen.

What was behind him was a coin perpetually being tossed in the air with disaster on one side and shit out of luck on the other. The trouble was, he’d been trying to bury it there and had no plans of resurrecting it. And that little family group therapy session made him anxious as fuck to get the hell away from all the Kumbaya shit.

He must have checked his watch every ten minutes. All that sharing had his heart doing jumping jacks and his palms sweating, and the closer it came to his turn for a one-on-one with his brother, the worse it got. But even once they were out of there, away from all the other people visiting their loved ones, the things said in that room still crowded between them as they headed down the cobblestone sidewalk in silence.

When they hit the damp grass, the leaves that had fallen from the trees crunched under their feet and teardrops formed on the tops of their shoes. Nick stopped in front of a wooden bench and took a seat. He pulled the collar of his black pea coat tighter as Hudson shoved his hands into the pockets of his gray wool pants.

More silence.

But the noise couldn’t get any louder for Hudson. He pinched the bridge of his nose and debated what to say to his brother other than that he was proud of him for sticking with rehab.

In the end it was Nick who finally spoke. “The whole reason for this family stuff is to talk. You didn’t say but two words in there, Hudson. You’ve put up with a fuck-ton of my crap for, like, ever, man. This is our chance to work that out so we can toss our shit hand over our shoulders.”

Hudson rubbed the back of his neck and took in a deep breath, smelling the dried leaves. “That session is for you to . . .” He wanted to say unload, dump on, play the blame game. “Tell me what I can do to help you stay clean, not for me to pontificate to a room full of strangers.”

“It’s supposed to educate you, bro, on all this rehab stuff. The counselor is there to keep my ass from justifying why I feel the need to choke down a handful of drugs with a beer chaser.”

“I’m aware of that session’s intent,” Hudson said tightly.

“It only works if you work it.”

Sweet hell, his brother was talking in goddamn bumper stickers.

The truth was, that little family group session brought up everything from their past that was straight-up out of a horror flick. Hudson wasn’t interested in some peace-is-love-let’s-hug-it-out asshole holding him accountable for his failures. He knew he was responsible for Nick’s joyride that read like a scene from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

God, he sounded like a bastard. The program was saving his little brother’s life, better than any attempt he had made. For that, Hudson thanked his lucky-fucking-stars.

But that didn’t mean he wanted to talk about it.

“We went through a lot of the same shit. You’ve been cleaning up my messes for too long.” Nick looked up at Hudson, his boyish face grimly set. “Hear anything about, you know?”

“The body was found. And as I predicted, there have been no questions with regards to another junkie taking a dirt nap in an alley. Case closed.”

“You sure?”

“You’re off the hook, Nicky. Focus on . . .”

“My skill building? Making that arts and crafts shit out of twigs and feathers?”

“Yeah, what the fuck is this?” Hudson picked up the willow loop he’d set on the bench between them. On top of it a loose network of thread was woven into a web.

“Yo, bro, there is deep meaning to all that.”

“By all means, enlighten me.”

Hudson’s grin broadened as Nick cleared his throat, preparing to give some thorough lecture on Native American art.

“The design is to allow only the good dreams to filter through. It catches the bad dreams like a badass, and they disappear in the day. The kick-ass dreams, maybe even some sex dreams—not that you need those—slide down these feathers.” Nick ticked the tendrils with his fingers. “Into your pretty little head.”

“And where do I put this magnificent work of art?” There was more than a hint of sarcasm in Hudson’s voice.

“Nice, real appreciative of all my hard work. I think I have carpal tunnel from weaving that shit. Put the thing over your bed, dude.”

Hudson’s brow shot up. “Over my bed?”

“Yup, then the magic happens.” Nick’s mouth curved into a shit-eating grin.

The only thing Hudson could do was laugh. “If you say so.” He examined the matrix of threads. If only this thing could really put an end to the nightmares that cleaved into his subconscious on a nightly rotation. “Thanks, Nicky,” he said, standing and tucking the loop into his leather jacket. “I’ll hang it up.”

Nick stood up, nearly eye-to-eye with Hudson. “Thanks for coming. It means a lot to me that you’re taking this seriously.”

“I’m proud of you.” Hudson pulled Nick into a hug. “So damn proud. Keep it up.” As he released his little brother, they both got their manly back-slapping routine on.

“Uh, I’d ask you to stay for dinner but the food in this joint sucks. Couldn’t you have hooked me up with some place in Malibu with a celebrity chef?”

Hudson threw his head back and laughed. “That’s not rehab, its vacation.”

“Well then, for fuck’s sake, help your little brother out and bring me some Al’s Beef.”

“Speaking of food, can I spring you for Thanksgiving?”

“Nah, not a chance. I’m not done with my thirty-day sentence. And holidays supposedly cause an itchy trigger finger or something. Sends us addicts into relapse. So it’s lockdown with turkey rolls and mashed potato paste.”

“I’ll catch you next week then.” Hudson zipped up his jacket and pulled his keys from the pocket.

“Hey, Hudson, don’t spend the holiday working. Call Allie, make amends.”

It had been nearly two weeks since Allie put the final nail in that coffin. She’d let him say his piece, but hell if it had made any difference. And now just hearing her name was like a knife to the heart.

Hudson looked down at the ground and exhaled a sharp breath before looking back up at Nick. “Yeah, I tried that, Nicky. It wasn’t enough. We’re done. For good this time.”

Chapter Twelve

Reality twisted and the nightmare seized him, tunneling through his subconscious with a silent domination. Every moment became impossible, a sense of “this can’t be happening.” Yet the convenience store became more distinct, the pungent smell of copper infiltrating his nose. The slick sensation of being wet made his skin itch as blood soaked his jeans, and the screams that peeled out of his mother’s mouth morphed into the screeching sirens that ricocheted inside his eardrums.

The dream tantalized him with the false idea that he could roll back the clock sixty seconds earlier. When Hudson tried to hit rewind, the nightmare took control and made him relive the tragedy as it flickered through his psyche. But none of it was enough to snap him out of the replay.

Blood was everywhere, glistening and crimson under the fluorescent lights that hung low on the ceiling. The man who lay bleeding on the cheap linoleum with a gaping wound to the chest wasn’t a stranger to him, he was the man he looked up to. Now his blue stare, slowly losing its color, penetrated Hudson and paralyzed him with a death grip on his father’s soaked shirt. He willed him to say something, to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. But all Hudson heard were gurgling sounds from his father, and the hard burst of his own breath as he stared down at the eyes that were losing their focus.

More strained breaths and gurgling.

Between one blink and the next, he was being torn away from his father. He looked back at him. The skin that had once been golden tan was now going gray.

A scream came out of his mother’s mouth at the same time one was ripped from his.

Hudson jackknifed off the bed. With his breath coming sharp and fast out of his mouth, he swung his feet over the side of the bed and flipped on the bedside lamp. He closed his eyes and tried to reboot, but the bright bouquet of red stained the backs of his lids.

“Fuck,” he muttered. It was the same horror show the past four nights in a row. The repeats were inevitable since Nick decided to open the door with C-4 and rattle the skeletons he’d locked up in the darkest place of his mind. Now his subconscious was burping that shit up like a bad trip through the Haunted Mansion.

Taking shallow breaths and doing his best to think of absolutely fucking nothing, he pushed unsteadily to his feet and staggered to the bathroom. Once inside the room he didn’t bother with the lights; the moon was providing enough as it filtered in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. When you sat at the top of the world there wasn’t a threat of being caught naked, but like he gave a flying fuck.

Hudson reached into the shower, cranked the faucets, and turned the water on as hot as he could stand it without stripping off his first layer of skin. He braced his palms against the marble and leaned into the spray as he let the water wash over him. The hot water was a blessing, rinsing away the wake of the nightmare, slowly but not entirely.

Hanging his head he felt the hot rush sluice over the back of his skull, split off his shoulders, and cascade down his chest and back. As he stood there, he thought of the only thing that seemed to ground him to the present.

Allie.

The way she felt under him when he was buried deep inside her. The sight of her body arching into his as he drove them both toward the edge. The sound of her moans in his ear as they climaxed together.

And instantly he was hard.

Rock hard.

Hudson shut his eyes and gripped himself with both hands.

Allie was on her knees. “I want your cock.”

“Where do you want it? Show me.”

She leaned forward and parted her lips over his glistening tip. Her mouth was hot and wet.

Hudson grew even harder as he forgot where he was and that it was his hand grasping his cock, which was a poor fucking substitute for having her lips wrapped around his shaft. Nothing compared to what it felt like to slide himself in and out of her beautiful mouth, to see her look up at him with a heat that mirrored his own.

He shifted his legs apart, his breath easing in and out of his heavy chest as she took him all the way into her mouth. The head of his cock hit the back of her throat and the pleasure shot up and down his spine.

“Just like that,” he groaned as he fisted a hand into her hair. “Deeper.”

She got into it, relaxing her throat to take more of him then sucking hard as he pulled out. Hudson thrust forward and slipped even deeper. “I love fucking your mouth . . .”

Allie wrapped her arms around his thighs and squeezed his ass as he pumped into her mouth. He looked down and the sight nearly made him come. Fuck him, he was ready, but he wanted to feel her for as long as he could.

She sucked harder and grazed her teeth up the length of his cock

Sweet fucking hell. His balls tightened up as hard as a fist. The sensation alone was almost too much to handle, but how she worshiped him kicked him up into another dimension.

Finding a rhythm, he watched his thick head move in and out of her mouth. The weeks he’d spent without her had nearly killed him. Everything in his life was flipped upside down, yet with her in it, fell into perfect place. Without her his heart beat only to serve one need, to pump blood and oxygen through his body.

The tip of her tongue traced the pulsing vein along the underside of his cock. His whole body felt the sensation. “Jesus, God in Heaven.” He slammed a palm against the tile, the hunger punching through any shred of civility he had left and running down into a base need. Just then the orgasm threatened the head of his cock. “Damn, Allie,” Hudson hissed. His grip tightened in her hair. “Don’t stop. I’m going to come in your mouth and you’re going to swallow it all.”

A curse exploded out of his mouth, his body bowing forward and his head listing back as his release rocketed out of him and into his hand.

***

After Hudson dressed in his version of “Black Friday”—black pants and a black cashmere V-neck with a gray tee underneath—he hit the button on the elevator to shoot him straight down to the garage. The moment he stepped in, a muffled ring came from his pocket. He yanked the phone out, but before he could give his usual greeting, a cheerful voice fired off on the other end.

“Happy Thanksgiving, bro.”

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Hudson wasn’t feeling so happy despite his little fantasy session, but for Nick’s sake he was going to sing and dance. “Giving you a feast in that place, or what?” He strode out of the elevator toward his fleet of cars. What he wouldn’t give to have his bike right now, he thought.

“Yeah.” Nick let out a sarcastic laugh. “Mashed potatoes, powdered gravy, and some box shit stuffing. Nothing like Mom used to make.”

Hudson frowned as a memory shot through his mind. Nick had reached way back for that little nugget. Their mom had been gone for years, but it had been even longer since she’d made them a home cooked meal, let alone a holiday spread. “That was a long time ago, Nicky.”

“I know.” Nick’s voice softened. “I miss her, too, Dad.”

Hudson slid into the waiting limo. “To the office.” Max nodded and shut the car door.

“On Thanksgiving?” Nick said. “You work too fucking much.”

“Business doesn’t stop for holidays.” Hudson really didn’t want to get into the subject of his parents right now, or how many hours he clocked, for that matter, so he made a move to flip the convo on its ass. “What else they got going on for you?”

“Movies and shit. And a group session later to talk about how the holidays make us feel.” Nick emphasized the last word but Hudson knew it was for his benefit. Nick was drinking the rehab Kool-Aid at this point, but Hudson couldn’t have cared less. He’d spoon feed the shit to his little brother himself if needed.

“Nicky . . .” His voice trailed off as Max took a turn onto Michigan Avenue at the same time Allie stepped out of a taxi. In his ear he could hear Nick going on about stale food and adolescent games of charades, but Hudson’s focus was on nothing but her. As they idled at the red light, he watched her pull her jacket closed before making her way across the icy sidewalk and into a local coffee shop. He imagined her delivering a complicated order to the barista and a slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Hey, bro, gotta jet, apparently an expert bottle cap flicker is needed.” Hudson heard the crack of knuckles through the receiver.

“That’s the best use of your time?”

“Nah, dude, just kidding. Gotta have some fun.” Nick laughed. “Catch ya later?”

“Yeah, Nicky. Proud of you. I’ll see you Sunday.” Hudson pressed the intercom. “Pull over, Max.” He slid forward on the leather bench as the car pulled to the curb and slowed. But when it came to a stop, he paused with his fingers curled around the door handle. Allie had made it clear she wanted nothing more to do with him, no matter how hard he pursued her, and he’d promised to leave her alone if she heard him out. She’d held up her end, it was only fair he did the same. So despite how much he wanted her in his life, Hudson dropped his hand and ordered Max to continue on to Chase Industries.