Текст книги "Justified"

Автор книги: Ali Parker

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Текущая страница: 4 (всего у книги 5 страниц)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Lisa let the conversation die between them, the warning look she gave pensive and painful. She was stunned to think that he might feel the same. Even if he did... nothing was going to change. She didn't do long-distance relationships, or relationships in general. Falling in love with Marc couldn't change that. It was core to who she was as a person. She had built her identity on her sexuality, on her prowess. It was a protection if nothing else.

They finished dinner and Geno refused to let Marc pay. Lisa tugged at his arm, urging him to let the restaurant owner treat them.

"Thank you. See boy? Beautiful and smart. Hold on to her. Once in a lifetime." Geno reached over and touched Lisa's shoulder before popping Marc on the back again. "Get out of here and go live your life, eh? You only get one."

"Thanks, Geno." Marc opened the door as Lisa moved out onto the busy New York street. She turned to wait for Marc to move in beside her. "Let's go get the car and I'll get you home."

"Sounds good. Dinner was delicious. Just enough, but not too much."

"I can't believe you ate vegetable lasagna. Fucking nasty." Marc scrunched up his face.

"I like vegetables. Not everything has to be meat and potatoes."

"I would have taken you as a girl who loved a big piece of meat."

She turned toward him, pulling him against her as she flipped her hand around and cupped his crotch, leaning into him. "I like certain types, but it has to be a prime cut for me to even consider wasting my time on it."

He slid his hand over her and pressed his hips forward, rubbing himself subtly against her as his other hand slid along her neck, squeezing softly.

"I think you'll be quite pleased with what I'm packing. You didn't get a good look today, but I'd say by the convulsions of your sexy ass, you felt it."

She leaned in and nipped at his lips. "Are you wanting me to get up close and personal with it?"

"Do I want to see your mouth spread around my dick? Is that what you're asking me, you naughty girl?"

"Do you?" She pulled her fingers in a come hither, scratching at the stiffening base of his erection.

"I do. I need to. I want to see that sexy look on your face that says you can handle anything I can throw at you. I can't imagine not getting to live in that moment for a long time."

"Mmmm... So hot, Marc."

"Yes, you are, baby." He moved his hands to slide along her face, leaning down and kissing her in the middle of Times Square. People moved past them, but the world slowed down for a moment.

His fingers were warm and gripping, his lips so soft and wet. He explored her mouth, groaning into the kiss. The vibration of his actions brushed across her tongue. Her fingers dug into him, need rolling over her in crashing waves. She pulled back breathless, unsure of how things could get any hotter between them.

"We're going to get arrested for public indecency." She smiled and moved back, pulling her hands from him and letting out a long aggravated sigh.

He moved toward her, wrapping her in a side hug and moved them toward the parking garage. "I couldn't agree more. Many more kisses like that and I'm going to rip your panties off of you and have my way with you until you beg for mercy."

"More."

"More?" He turned to her as they crossed the street.

"Beg for more. I don't believe in mercy and sex."

"No? Looks like you have a lesson to learn."

"Who's going to teach it to me?" She bit at her lip, hurrying with him as cars began moving toward them.

"The only man who's capable of it. Me."

"What if another man has the ability to as well? He might exist."

"Doubtful. Why... have you been dating?"

Lisa moved from underneath him and pressed the button on the elevator. He was going to keep pressing until they exploded at each other. She wanted to strangle him when she thought about how much the need for him had dicked up her life. Was his any different? Didn't seem like it from his comments at dinner.

"I've seen a few men. I can't seem to get past thinking what you would think of them." She walked into the elevator, leaning back to hold the door for him.

"I don't like men, so no need to take my thoughts into consideration. Uck." He winked and pressed the top floor before turning toward her. "I would hope that you make them fuck you from behind."

"What? Why?"

"So that it's me you imagine doing it."

"Is that what you do? Fuck all the girls you date from behind so it's me bent before you?" She moved toward him, anger sprouting in her chest. How dare he put that on her. It was poking too close to the truth.

"Yeah, and I'm honestly sick of it." He moved toward her, the two of them meeting in the middle. His expression moved from playful to angry. "I need you to get out of my head. My life is spinning out of control. I used to fuck and have fun. Now I've got this schoolgirl crush and nothing tastes good, nothing feels right... I can't even masturbate without groaning your name."

"You think I'm not sick of it too? And schoolgirl crush? You think this feeling is some silly pathetic response to the fact that we're attracted to each other?"

"Lisa, I'm trying to get on with my life."

"We've not even tried us yet. You're delusional." She pushed her hand against his chest, anger burning a hole in her resolve to stay far away from the present conversation.

He caught her hand and pulled her toward him. "Why haven’t we tried us? What are you so fucking afraid of?"

"I'm not the only one afraid."

"I don't want you with other men. I don't want other women."

"That's your problem. I don't want this emotional bullshit laid on me. I'm dealing with enough of my own." She moved back, jerking from his touch, needing it far too much.

He turned and hit the red button on the elevator, the steel machine screeching to a halt as it stopped in mid-air. The glass walls around them showed the city in full effect, the beauty of it fleeting as she looked back at him.

"Start the elevator again. I'm not doing this with you. I'm not fighting over what could be. Lust is my king. Whatever this thing is... I don't want it. You don’t either."

"Yes you do." He took a few steps toward her, moving her until her back hit the glass wall. He took her wrists in his hands and pulled them up, pinning her in place as he pressed his forehead to hers. "Tell me you don't want me."

"I don't want you," she whispered, tears filling her eyes. "Don't do this to me."

He brushed his lips by hers, his hand shifting to leave one holding her wrists pinned high above her. His other hand slid down her extended arm, over the curve of her breast and down her flat stomach. He pressed himself against her, a soft sigh leaving them both.

"Just let it be about sex, Marc. Leave it there. It's better there."

He released her hands and turned her fast and hard, pressing her chest against the glass. "I agree. Let's leave it there. I'll try not to lose my mind over another guy buried deep inside of you, Lisa."

He pressed himself against the curve of her rear, his hands coming to press against the glass as he nipped at her neck. Licking slowly from her throat to her ear, he whispered, hot breath rolling across her back as she sagged against him.

"I'm going to fuck you in here. I want the world to see what should be. I want you to concentrate on how right we feel together. If lust is what you want from me, then lust is what I'll give you. But when no one else can satisfy you..."

One hand moved to her stomach, sliding down over her thigh and lifting the cotton dress. His fingers slid into the front of her panties, her breath catching as she whimpered.

"When no one else can satisfy... come back to me. Come find me and when you're ready to plead for it, I'll be ready to give all of myself to you."

He slid his fingers deep into her wetness, Lisa crying out and arching against him. The firm press of his body against hers left her weak and far more needy than she ever remembered being.

He pulled his hand from her, licking at his finger just over her shoulder. "Lust says you don't come until I'm ready for you to. Love would beckon me to make it happen for you over and over, denying myself for you until you were close to breaking."

He reached back and pulled her skirt up, yanking down her panties angrily. She cried out, his movements filled with meaning that she couldn't take hold of. He unzipped his pants and pulled her back, filling her completely.

"Oh God," she whispered, pressing against the glass to get more of him. He took hold of her hips and pounded into her over and over, his cries beautiful, filled with the same emotions that tore her apart.

Pleasure mixed with emotional pain as she turned to look out at the world, the city living far more than she was.

"Lust, hmmm? You just want lust from me. A casual hard fuck." He jerked her hard against him, groaning against her hair. "Just sweaty fucking and nothing else. Don't want me to hold you? To take care of you?"

He wrapped his arms around her waist, one hand moving to press between her breasts, the other sliding back into the front of her panties to press the top of her sex. She whimpered again, hating the sound of it.

"Don't want me to trap you beneath me? To whisper how much I need you. How your smell drives me mad, your smile lights me on fire. None of that, hmmm?" He pulled from her and stepped back, pulling her hips and moving her to the middle of the elevator.

She started to turn, but he stopped her, his hand pushing on the top of her back as she bent over and reached for the bar on the wall. Holding herself up she felt like a whore, like something he would use and leave.

"Stop." She looked over her shoulder at him. The expression on his handsome face breaking her heart. He slid his hand in her hair and pulled hard as his elbow pressed to the center of her back.

"No. This is what you wanted. Just fucking. I'm down." He slid back inside of her as she arched her back. The pleasure was far more rewarding than the pain of his lesson. She pushed back, rolling her hips and bringing him to climax within minutes.

His voice rolling over the back of her as he groaned his pleasure. He touched her with shaky hands, his lesson for the evening having broken him as much as her. She pulled away from him, and tugged her dress down.

She didn't look at him as she pressed the buttons on the panel of the elevator. He moved to touch her and she jerked from him.

"Don't."

The elevator opened and she moved back, lifting her hand to motion for him to leave. "Your floor. Have a good night."

"Lisa... don't you understand where I'm at?"

"Don't say it. Don't say a fucking thing to me. You don't know me at all, but you think you do. Bravo. Get off and don't look back."

He stood there for a few minutes as she turned and pressed herself against the glass. The warmth of him still inside of her, his smell all over her. She was lost to the need to be his and yet he was a boy with games to play.

He walked out of the elevator, his shoulders slumped from what she could see in the window.

"Lesson learned," she whispered as hot tears dripped onto her cheeks.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Lisa had grabbed a cab from downtown, the driver kind enough to wait for her to run into her mother's house for money while he waited. The night had been filled with tears and screams into her pillow, the emotions accompanying love so much more violent than lust.

It had been a mistake to come to New York. Seeing him only compounded the fact that she was in love with him. If she gave him an inch he would drown her. She would pick up and move back to New York just to be near him. Love felt like obsession, wicked and controlling.

The morning came quickly, Lisa still staring at the white dress he bought her on the floor. She forced herself to get up and shower again, the one the night before not seeming like enough. She could still feel him on her, smell him all over her. Where there was nothing she wanted more than to bathe in his scent, his way of controlling her was confidence shattering.

Maybe she wasn't who she thought she was?

Her phone buzzed. Kari asking if Lisa was going to visit her mother. She started to respond, but Kari sent a pleading text asking Lisa to take her mom some of the little vanilla scones from the bakery near Lisa's parents’ house. She hesitated before simply saying she would.

Marc had texted multiple times during the night, trying to prove his point, but never apologizing. He felt like his point was made and if she wasn't willing to see him after it, then she didn't understand him at all.

"Fuck off," she grumbled toward the phone and launched it across the room.

A quick shower left her feeling a little better. Pulling her long copper hair into a high ponytail she slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and a Metallica t-shirt. It would piss her mom off, which would make her feel better either way. She smiled at herself in the mirror and tried to shrug off the nagging sensation that Marc was right. Lust was part of the past, a part that felt almost dirty and unyielding. Love was something he wanted to move toward.

"That was the message, right?"

But why lord over her? Why make her feel cheap and small? Why take pleasure from her and offer none in return?

Anger burnt her thoughts away, Lisa jogging down the stairs to the kitchen. Her father looked up from his paper, a smile on his aging face.

"Hi princess."

"Hi daddy. Where's the beast?"

"Lisa... your mother hates that nickname."

Lisa let out a short laugh. "She knows about it?"

"Yes and it hurts her feelings. You really should be more considerate. She did the best she could, baby." Her father motioned for her to join him. "Come here and tell me all about your life. Any prospects for marriage?"

"Um, no." She walked to the cabinet and got out a travel mug. "I'm going to head over to Ms. Martin’s. Kari wants me to take her some pastries and I guess it would be nice to visit with her a little."

"Sounds good. Will you be here tonight?"

"No, I'm going to take my things now. I'm leaving early. Something came up at the office."

"Did you reschedule your flight?"

"No, but I'll text my assistant and have her do it." She shrugged and filled up her mug with coffee. Lisa walked to the table and gave her father a quick hug. "Tell the beast that I said happy birthday."

Lisa turned and walked toward the foyer, her father's sound of disapproval nothing compared to the one she usually got for simply breathing from her mom. To get out of town without having to see the woman again would be a huge success. She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and walked out in the early morning summer day. The heat was a bit much, but she wouldn't be out in it long, so no big deal.

"Where you headed, Miss Lisa?" Fredrick moved toward her from the small seat he reclined on the front porch in.

"I need to stop by that bakery just up the street. The one with the sinful chocolate donuts."

"I know the one well." He patted his stomach and smiled.

"Then I need a lift to Kari's house. You remember where her mother lives? In that tiny white house in the Bronx?"

"I do. Come on and I'll take you. Need me to pick you up later tonight?"

"I'll catch a cab from there to the airport."

"Nonsense. Just text me about thirty minutes before you go and I'll come get you."

"You sure?"

"That or I'll be a monkey's uncle."

She chuckled and got into the car, pressing her hand against the door to keep him from shutting it. "I haven't met your family, Fred. Anything is possible."

She waved over her shoulder toward Fredrick before walking slowly up the dilapidated steps of Ms. Martin's house. Marc's truck wasn't in the driveway, which was a good sign. Disappointment tried to rear its ugly head, but she shoved it back.

He wanted to be overtly dominant and try to teach her, HER, a lesson... he could find someone else to fuck with.

She reached up and knocked on the front door, a bit of white paint chipping off to land on the ground before her. How Kari's mom didn't make more money as a nurse was shocking. The cost of living in New York was outrageous, but the condition of her house plus the location was disturbing. The door opened and an older version of Kari reached out to pull Lisa into a hug.

"There you are. Marc texted this morning that he wasn't sure you were coming over."

"I wasn't sure I was either, but Kari wanted you to have these." Lisa lifted the small bag as Ms. Martin squealed with excitement and moved back into the house.

"Well, you're here now, so come on in."

"Is Marc here?" Lisa looked around as she moved into the small two room house. She set her bag down on the floor by the door. Joining Kari's mom at the kitchen table, Lisa reclined back and propped her feet on another chair close by.

"No. He said he wasn't feeling well. Not sure what's been up with that boy lately." She opened the bag and pulled out several of the small pastries, adverting her eyes from Lisa. "You want one?"

"No ma'am, I'm good."

"You don't look good. What's wrong with you? I'm used to seeing you filled with pee and vinegar."

"It's piss and vinegar."

"Good grief." Ms. Martin rolled her eyes, laughing softly as Lisa joined her.

"I think I'm in love and I don't want to be. It hurts all the time." Lisa touched her chest, rubbing softly above her left breast. "How can the organ that pumps blood around your body physically hurt when you can't be with the person that steals your thoughts, your breath?"

The older woman reached over and touched Lisa's arm, her face softening. Kari had a great relationship with her mom and Lisa coveted it. Her mom would laugh her out of the room should she try to have a serious conversation with her about anything.

"Because you're human. We were made to be in relationships with each other. Love is a part of who we are. It's a gift from God himself." Ms. Martin smiled and lifted a scone to her mouth, taking a small bite.

"I hate it. I'm good with lust, but love... ehhh." Lisa took another drink of her coffee before setting it down and reaching for a piece of the scone.

"Who is he? Tell me about him."

"He's this guy that I met and he's not even really my type. I mean he's crazy hot and has this body that..." Lisa stopped, looking up and laughing at the look on Kari's mother's face. She knew that the woman knew her secrets, but decided to play along. "Anyway, he's gorgeous and smart, sweet and funny, but we connected too well when we met. I decided, or really, we decided that not getting to know each other was best."

"Why on earth was that the decision you two made?"

"Because his life is very different from mine. There's an age gap between us and he's living his life here in New York. Neither one of us would be willing to give up all we've built and created to be close to each other. It's just not fair. Surely there is someone else, like someone in Maine that could make me feel as good as he does just by looking my way." She sighed loudly, brushing her hand over the top of her head and tugging hard at her ponytail. "He drives me crazy though."

"Does he feel the same?"

"I guess. I don't know. He was a total ass yesterday about the situation, which helps in some ways. I'm getting on a plane this evening and pretending that he doesn't exist."

"Do you think that's going to work?"

"Fuck no." She shrugged as Ms. Martin flinched. "Sorry. I'll try and watch my language."

"Don't bother. Just spill your heart, sweetie. I hate love too, but that's just because it's not part of my life anymore. It's the most powerful emotion we have. You need to reconsider how to deal with it."

"I guess, just not sure who that makes me. I've always run hard and fast from the idea of having to belong to anyone. I had a shitty childhood thanks to my overbearing mother and my pussified father." Lisa shook her head. "Sorry..."

"Stop apologizing. Marc curses like a sailor too. I've just learned to ignore it and pray for him all the more."

"You going to pray for me later?" Lisa's lip lifted in a soft smile.

"With sack cloth and ashes like in the Old Testament. You both need extra prayers." She laughed and got up, moving to the kitchen, which wasn't more than a stone's throw from the table.

"Because of our potty mouths?"

"Because you sound like you have the same illness."

"Explain." Lisa turned her chair to face the pretty woman as she started to cut up potatoes in the small kitchen.

"Marc hasn't been himself in a few months. He's usually so funny and full of life. He mopes around here every Sunday, his best friend Jackson calling last week to see if something was really wrong. He's just been so depressed. I'm going to talk to him about going to the doctor soon."

"He's probably in love. It's a disease." Lisa shrugged, the news hitting her harder than she wanted to admit. She stood up, tears threatening to give her disposition away. "I'm going to wash up. I’ll help you cook."

"I would love that. Just down the hall on the left. You can't miss it." Kari's mom chuckled as Lisa walked away quickly. She barely reached the bathroom before the first soft sob slipped from her lips. She hadn't cried more than ten times in her life, the last few months being nine of them.

Sitting down on the closed toilet she reached for a towel hanging over the top of the shower and pressed her face to it as another sob left her. The smell of Marc's body wash filled her senses, a groan leaving her. She needed to get home – now. Distance would make the heart grow cold and Michael Carrington would help, no doubt. She would just throw herself into a relationship with him.

Surely Ms. Martin would understand when she jetted out of there like her ass was on fire. Life was too short to be tied to one person and wait for them to either cheat on you like Kari's ex had, or peter out and give up, much like her own father.

She walked from the bathroom, wiping at her face as the sound of Marc's voice reached her.

"Lisa's here? Oh good. I need to apologize to her."