Текст книги "Forbidden "

Автор книги: Alana Sapphire

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CHAPTER 11 ***Raven***

Trust me. I’ve heard those words before. Why should I trust him? Why should I give up everything for him when he’s not even sure he can do it? He made it very clear on the day we met just what he wanted.

“You keep forgetting one important detail.”

“What’s that?”

“Christopher.”

“He’s not important,” he counters.

“He’s important to me.”

“You said you don’t love him.”

“I do. And he loves me,” I answer, but my voice is lacking conviction.

“So you love him. Are you in love with him?”

As much as I want to say yes, the word won’t leave my mouth. I love him as a person, and even though there’s an attraction, it’s not like what I feel with Gage. Not even close.

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t be with you.” I pull my hands from his and head to the kitchen. I just need to get away from him. I can’t think when he’s close, and I need my wits about me.

“Why?”

I turn to see him leaning on the door jamb. So much for getting some space. “Because.”

“That’s not an answer. It’s obviously not the boy.”

He moves forward, backing me up against the counter and trapping me with his hands on either side.

“Is it the age difference?”

“No.”

And it isn’t. I haven’t even given a thought to his age. How could I when I can barely think at all around him?

“Is it the club?”

“Yes…no…I…”

“Talk to me.”

“It’s Lonnie, okay?”

Fuck. Why did I say that?

“What does she have to do with it?”

I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. For a moment, I lose my train of thought. They’re just so stunning; I could stare into them all day.

“Well?”

I shake my head and blink away the distraction. “She likes you.”

His brows furrow in confusion.

“She likes you, likes you,” I try to clarify.

His face relaxes and then realization sets in. Running his fingers through his hair, he takes a step back.

“Fuck.”

“What is it?”

“She told me a couple weeks ago that she wants to be an old lady, that she had her eyes on someone. Are you saying it’s me?”

I nod and he drops down into one of the chairs around the breakfast table.

“Fuck.” he repeats.

I sit opposite him, waiting to see what he’ll do.

“You know there’s no way in Hell that’s gonna happen, right?”

“I do. She doesn’t.”

“I’ll talk to her, set her straight.”

“You can if you want to, just don’t mention me.”

“That would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? I’m not hiding you,” he states matter-of-factly.

“There will be nothing to hide. I’m not cheating on Chris, and I’m not giving him up for some…experiment you want to conduct.”

“You’re not an experiment.”

“Oh? Then what am I?” I ask, eyebrows raised.

“I’ve been with a lot of women, and I’ve never even thought about doing what I’m offering you. When I said there’s something different about you, I meant it.”

“What? That I’m not falling at your feet like every other woman you meet?”

He leans forward, places his hands on the table, and gives me a smug smile. Who am I kidding? I’m no different. Whatever it is about him that drives women crazy, I’ve caught it. There’s no treatment, no cure.

“I bet I could make you.”

Oh, my God, that voice! That low, smooth tone that sends marvelous sensations through my body. I swallow hard, squeezing my thighs together.

“Make me what?”

“Kneel before me.”

“Whatever. Ain’t gonna happen.” The second the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. I keep saying them and he keeps proving me wrong. I leave the table to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, just to get away from him. I stop mid-way when I hear the other voice, the sexy, commanding one that got me out of my clothes and touching myself.

“Come here.”

I turn around slowly. He’s positioned himself so he’s facing me. My feet move of their own volition, until I’m standing before him.

“You act so tough, but then you can be so submissive.”

“I’m not –”

“Sit.”

Aaand I’m on his lap. Fuck. What is wrong with me?

“See?”

“I’m not…I mean…I…it’s just with you.”

“On your knees.”

As much as I fight it, I find myself sliding off his lap and onto the floor. Placing my hands on his thighs, I gaze up at him. He leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. I close my eyes as my body reacts to his proximity. My heart rate increases and I lick my lips, anticipating his kiss. But it doesn’t come. I open my eyes and meet his intense stare.

“I don’t give a fuck about Lonnie or your so-called boyfriend. You’re not a fucking experiment. I want you, and the minute you turn eighteen, you’re mine.”

I can’t move. I can’t speak. I can’t even breathe. The look in his eyes leaves me paralyzed. I want to shout, “I’m yours!” from every mountain top. I’m on my frickin’ knees before this man and still feel like the most desired woman on the planet.

“Get up, baby doll.”

He helps me up and pulls me back onto his lap. There’s a twinkle in his eye that wasn’t there before.

“Next time I have you on your knees, I’ll have something to put in your mouth.”

“Oh really? And what would that be?”

I shuffle up his thigh and wrap my arms around his neck. He returns my smile and slides his hands around my waist.

“These nuts.”

I throw my head back and laugh, and pretty soon he joins me.

“What if I said I’m allergic to nuts?”

“Then I’d say these nuts are hypoallergenic.”

“Oh, my God. You are crazy.”

“Oh, yeah?” he says with a hint of mischief.

One arm tightens around me while the other moves to my side and he begins to tickle me mercilessly. I try to get away but he’s just too strong. Tears of laughter stream down my face as I desperately try to get away.

“Stop. Please!”

He pulls me to him and holds me until my laughter dies down. I lay my head on his shoulder and settle into his embrace. At this point in time, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. And it scares the shit out of me.

“Say you’ll wait for me, doll. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

***Gage***

I can’t remember the last time I just held a woman in my arms. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever done it. Yet here I am, and I don’t want to fucking move. I want to stay like this, with her arms around me and her breath on my neck. She smells so fucking good; I don’t even know how to describe it. I trail my fingers up and down her thigh and she shivers.

“Gage?”

“Hmm?”

“What are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

She sits up and stares at me with tear-filled eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to hurt Chris.”

“It all comes down to who you want more, me or him. The longer you stay with him, the more you’ll hurt him.”

“He’s all I have. What if in a few days you decide you don’t want me anymore?”

“What if tomorrow he decides he doesn’t want you? There are no guarantees.”

“True.”

I swipe a tear from her cheek with my thumb. “You’re way too young to be this serious. There’ll be life beyond him. There’ll be life after me, although I know that’s gonna be tough. It’s not easy getting over me,” I joke, but not really. What can I say? The ladies love me.

She smiles and smacks my chest playfully, then wipes away her tears.

“Okay, hot stuff. What about Lonnie? She’ll be furious.”

“I’ll take care of her.”

“Not yet, please? I need some time.”

“I’ll leave you out of it for now, but I am setting her straight.”

“I think we should keep this quiet, at least until my birthday.”

“I agree, but I want to see you.” I leave no room for argument in my tone.

“How are we going to work that out?”

“I don’t know, but I bought us some time tonight so…what do you wanna do?”

She shrugs and begins to play with the pendant on my necklace.

“I was going to watch a movie before you got here.”

“Movie it is.”

She slides off my lap and I just want to pull her back. I watch as she walks to the fridge, opens it, and peers inside. The Lord is my shepherd, I see what I want. She’s bent over at just the right angle for fucking. I want to smack that ass…pull her hair as I slide inside…

“You want something to drink, a snack? I made monkey bread.”

Her voice snaps me out of my fantasy. “Monkey bread? What the fuck is that?”

She giggles, removes two bottles of water, and kicks the fridge closed.

“You’ve never had monkey bread? It’s kinda like meatloaf, just with monkey meat.”

I can’t believe she said that with a straight face. She removes a covered plate from the oven and places it on the counter.

“That smart mouth of yours is going to get you a spanking one day.”

“Spanking? You wish, biker boy.”

I make my way over to her as she removes two dessert plates from the cabinet. She looks so…domestic. I can imagine coming home to her making dinner…in sexy lingerie. Now that would be a sight to come home to every day.

“You’ll learn pretty quickly that I always get what I want, baby doll.”

She pulls off a piece of this “monkey bread” and offers it to me. It smells good, like cinnamon and sugar.

“We’ll see about that.”

“Says the girl who was just on her knees.”

“Open.”

I take a bite and stop mid-chew as it hits my tongue. It’s like a fucking orgasm in my mouth.

“Fuck. You made this?”

“Mm hmm.”

“It’s amazing!”

“I know, right? It’s all sticky, gooey deliciousness.”

“I can think of something else that’s sticky, gooey, and delicious.”

“What?”

I lick my lips and slide my gaze down her body. She visibly shivers. Fuck, I love what I can do to her, even with just a look.

“Pussy.”

She scoffs in disgust and turns away, cutting slices of the bread.

“Have several seats. Please.” She says, trying to put me in my place.

“You’ll be the only one sitting...on my face.”

Her fingers begin to tremble and she’s trying hard not to look affected.

“Jesus, Gage.”

“Now, obviously not all pussy tastes good, but I bet yours does.”

The knife falls from her fingers. I turn her around and lift her onto the counter. Her breathing gets erratic, her breasts rising and falling rapidly with each breath. This is what gets me every fucking time. Before I even touch her, I can see the effect I have on her, how much she wants me. I step between her legs and grab her hips.

“It’s been a while since I ate pussy, but yours is definitely on the menu.”

“Please…stop.”

She can’t even look me in the eyes; instead, her gaze is fixed on my chest. I lean forward and whisper in her ear.

“I can’t wait to bury my tongue in your sweet pussy.”

She gasps and curls her fingers into my shirt, pulling me closer. I trail my nose along her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. My dick is so hard I could probably hammer nails with it.

“You remember how wet you were that night? Just imagine me licking up all your juices, sucking on your clit, sliding my tongue inside you.”

She whispers my name on a moan, shaking against me. I can only imagine what it will be like when I make her come.

“Gage…please…touch me.”

Fuck! I pull away before I give in to her request. Disappointment is written all over her face.

“I can’t, doll. I’ve already done way more than I should.”

“Please, it’s just you and me. Who’s going to know?”

“I will. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.” I lift her down from the counter and cradle her face in my hands. I swear she gets more beautiful each time I see her. “Not much longer, Raven. I’ll be so stuck to you that you’ll be begging me to give you a break.”

“Promise?”

I chuckle and run my fingers through her hair. “Promise. And I always keep my promises. Come on.”

I grab the plates with the bread and the bottles of water, and then we head back to the living room. She brings up Netflix and chooses a movie, La Bamba, then settles next to me on the couch, laying her head on my chest. Less than ten minutes in, biker Bob takes young Rosie’s virginity. How’s that for art imitating life? I just hope that will be the only similarity. I don’t want to hurt her.

We quietly watch the movie and eat monkey bread, and I don’t think I’ve been this relaxed or comfortable in a long time. No alcohol, no smoking, no whores – what I’ve become accustomed to – and I’m actually enjoying myself. That is until the kissing scene between Ritchie and Donna comes on and I become all too aware of her again. She shifts uncomfortably and peeks up at me, biting her bottom lip.

“Come here.”

She straddles my lap and as I look at her, the words of the song in the background resonate in my mind. You’re mine. She cradles my face and slowly runs her thumb across the stubble on my jaw.

“Tus ojos son hermosos.”

I have no idea what she said, but I like the way it sounded. I pull her to me and cover her lips with mine. She moans, parting them, and I slip my tongue inside. Fuck, she tastes good, and it’s not just the cinnamon and sugar, either. It’s her. She slides her fingers through my hair and rocks her hips against me. My whole body comes alive. She rocks faster and my dick begs to be released, to be lost inside her. I need to stop. If I don’t, I’m going to fuck her and damn the consequences to Hell. I break the kiss and lay my forehead on hers.

“I better go.”

“No, don’t stop.”

She presses her lips to mine, pulls on my bottom lip, then slides her tongue into my mouth. I instinctively latch on, sucking on it gently. Her fingers glide down my neck and a strange feeling runs through my body. I haven’t felt anything like this since I was a teenager. Teenager. Fuck.

“No, we have to stop.”

She groans and climbs off, and I jump up before I lose my nerve. I turn to her at the door.

“I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

As I stare down at her, the need to fuck her threatens to overtake my better judgment. That’s not good. I need to have my faculties about me when dealing with her. She’s so young. I should be more careful. That reminds me. There’s a little matter we need to take care of before I even think about fucking her.

“I need you to see E.”

She looks up at me, brows furrowed in confusion.

“For what?”

“To get you on the pill.”

I have every intention of using condoms, but I can’t be too careful. I don’t want to get her knocked up. She blushes and averts her eyes.

“Oh, okay.”

No objection. God, I wish she was older and I’d found her sooner.

“Good. But just so you know, I’ll be using protection, too. I always do.”

She nods, still unable to meet my gaze. I kiss her forehead and close the door behind me, waiting until I hear the lock turn. I take a deep breath as I walk down the driveway. She’s mine. She’s finally mine.

CHAPTER 12 ***Raven***

My ringing phone wakes me from one of the best dreams I’ve had in a long time. I smile at the name flashing on the screen.

“Hello.”

“Did I wake you up?”

“Mm hmm. When you said you would call, I didn’t think it would be at the crack of dawn.”

“Sorry, didn’t sleep much last night. Had a lot of things on my mind.”

“Was I one of those things?”

“You were the main thing, doll.”

I giggle and roll over onto my back.

“Did you dream about me?” he asks.

“What if I said yes?”

“Then I’d ask what I was doing.”

Embarrassment floods my body, and I could bet I probably look like a beet right now. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Well, now you have to tell me.”

“You were…umm…between my legs.”

“And?” he prods.

“And you were…doing that thing.”

“What thing?”

“That you talked about last night.”

“What was I doing, Raven?”

His voice is gruff and his breaths come in hard puffs.

“You were licking me.”

“Where?”

“You know.”

Why do I suddenly feel so shy?

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it. Say ‘you were licking my pussy’.”

“Oh, God! I can’t.”

“You cuss like a sailor so I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s not the cursing. It’s the entire sentence.”

“Say it.”

Thevoice. I can’t help myself. “You were licking my pussy.” Ugh! I’m so humiliated. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

“Good girl.”

Humiliation exits stage left. ‘Good girl.’ Every time he says it, I feel the way I used to when I got a perfect score on a test. I want to hear it more often. “You’re going to turn me out.”

Despite my bravado, I’m not as experienced as he might think. I’ve had a few boyfriends but I haven’t had sex and I haven’t done much of anything else either.

“And you’re going to give me blue balls. I think my hand is going to become my best friend for the next six weeks.”

“You wanted to hear.”

“You don’t need to be scared, shy, or embarrassed with me. You can tell me anything.”

“Okay,” I agree.

“What are you doing today?”

“Nothing. It’s my day off.”

“I need to see you. Can I send for you later?” he asks eagerly.

“Yes. I want to see you, too.”

“I have some work to do, but I’ll call you when I have it all worked out.”

“Talk to you later.”

“Raven?”

“Hmm?”

“In your dream…did you come?”

Now his voice is more insistent, the huskiness returning.

“Yes.”

“Hard?”

“Very.”

“Jesus. I need another shower.”

I giggle as the image of him jerking off in the shower enters my mind. These six weeks need to hurry up and be over.

“Later, doll.”

“Bye.”

I roll out of bed and practically float to the bathroom. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good. It’s certainly the first time since I moved here. I hook up my phone to some speakers and put my music on shuffle. By mid-day, I’ve danced my way through breakfast, cleaning the house, and doing all my laundry. The best part of it all – no Lonnie. She hasn’t stumbled in yet. Whatever Gage did last night, it sure kept her busy. Since I’m feeling so inspired today, I grab my sketchbook and pencil and head out to the porch. I prop my feet up on the railing and set lead to paper. Not even thinking, I let my hand slide over the surface. I lose myself completely, stopping only when I realize that someone’s walking up the driveway. Christopher.

“Hey, baby.”

“Hi.”

He leans down to kiss me and I turn my head so he gets my cheek. He gives me a confused frown but sits next to me without a word. This is stupid. I feel so guilty. The weird part is I don’t feel guilty for what I’ve done. Chris is my boyfriend, yet I feel like I’m cheating on Gage.

“You drew that?”

I look down at the page. Holy shit. It’s a reaper. Not just any reaper but the one on Gage’s car. I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I swallow hard.

“Yeah. You like it?”

“I didn’t know you could draw like that.”

“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, Mr. Contreras.”

“I can see that. Why’d you draw that?”

“I don’t know. Saw it somewhere, I guess.”

“Somewhere?” I know that tone. The accusations are about to come. “Where?”

“On a car, I think.”

“The Dealer’s car.”

“Chris –”

“¿Están templando?”

“No, I’m not fucking him!”

The same question Gage asked. Men can be the biggest cheaters, but let them even think they’ve been cheated on and they completely lose their shit.

“What do you expect me to think?”

“I expect you to trust me.” I can’t believe I just said that. There’s been no sex but what I’ve done with Gage so far has totally violated Chris’ trust.

“How can I when he’s acting like he owns you?”

“Nobody owns me.”

“Raven –”

“Mira, I’ve been having a pretty good day. If you’re just going to spoil it by arguing, then you should leave.”

“So now I’m ruining your day. What? Am I interrupting your fantasies about the Dealer?”

“You should go before you say something you’ll really regret.”

“Like what –”

“¡Vete! Just leave!”

I didn’t mean to shout, but other than the fact that he was hitting close to home, I don’t want to end things with him on a bad note. I should just get this over with and stop dragging it out.

“Chris, I’m sorry. You’re a great guy but –”

He grabs my hand, cutting me off and his eyes find mine in a panic.

“Raven, lo siento. I’m sorry. Pero, I love you.”

The “L” word. The fucking “L” word. I already knew, and Chrissy told me as much, but it’s different hearing him say it.

“Chris…”

“I know, it’s crazy. You don’t have to say it. It’s too soon and all that. But I do. Te amo, Mami.”

He looks so defeated, so hopeless. He’s going to be crushed. But Gage is right, too. Why stay with him when I don’t feel the same?

“It’s okay. I know you’re not there yet. Just don’t rule me out.”

“Oh, Chris…”

I don’t know what to do, what to say. This is not who I am. I’m not some shy, indecisive weakling. What am I allowing these two men to do to me? I feel horrible for what I’m doing to Chris. I throw my arms around his neck and hold him tightly.  Am I really going to give him up for some potentially good sex? No. I won’t. When I see Gage tonight, I’ll just have to end it. End it? It’s not like we started anything. I’ll just tell him that I changed my mind. It’s the best thing to do. The right thing.