Текст книги "Indisputable"

Автор книги: A. M. Wilson

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Текущая страница: 15 (всего у книги 19 страниц)

“Yo, Jacoby.”

“Uh, what?”  Once again my thoughts of betrayal are obliterated by Trey.

“I was just saying I’ll take Tatum to my office and catch up with you later.  You have those things to deal with.”

Taking the hint, I reply, “Oh yeah, right.  I’ll catch up with you later, man.”  He nods at me, and I make my way to the door, passing Tatum in the entry.

“I’ll see you in class, Sweetheart.”  Her eyes widen infinitesimally at the familiar endearment, but other than that, she gives nothing away.  She gives me a small shake of her head, but otherwise doesn’t make eye contact as she walks towards Trey.  My heart clenches, but I know this isn’t going to be easy.  Hopefully with my endearment on her mind, she won’t think about trying anything with my best friend.

With one last nod to my friend, I step outside into the snowy cold.  Winter hit hard and early this week, and the air is frigid and icy.  A fresh blanket of snow covers the ground, and the air feels like a blizzard is coming.  I walk carefully across the icy parking lot, trying not to slip as I make my way to my car.  Once inside I crank the heat, buckle up, and make the call I’ve been dreading for months.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Mom.  It’s me.”

“Oh, my God.  Oh, my boy,” the woman on the other end of the line cries, and my chest burns with guilt.

It’s time to start tying up these loose ends.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO  

Tatum

“Come on, honey, my office is right this way.”

My body jolts at the sound of Trey’s smooth voice, reminding me why I came here in the first place.  It wasn’t to see Jacoby.  I actually hadn’t considered the possibility that he came to work out in the mornings before school.  I guess when I spent all my evenings at work, I assumed he used that time to catch up on his own personal life.  Now, I feel like a huge moron.

Oh God, he’s probably wondering what I’m doing with Trey.  I don’t blame him, considering I’ve kissed his best friend.  Except the whole reason I’m here won’t leave Jacoby much room to talk if Trey confirms my suspicions.  If I was less of a coward I would have questioned Jacoby myself, but I’m not.  I might as well have Scaredy Cat stamped on my forehead.

I follow Trey through the gym, down a brightly lit hall of white cinderblock walls and gray linoleum floors until he stops outside a locked door.  He opens it, holding it wide and using his arm to gesture me inside.  As I pass, he smiles gently at me.  I don’t know if that’s a good sign, or a bad one, so I give him a tired smile of my own.

“Thanks,” I say quietly.

The room looks like, well, an office.  Four windowless cinderblock walls painted white, bare of any pictures or paintings.  A small wooden desk pushed up against the wall to the right of the door way.  The desk holds a laptop, charger, a cup of pens, and a small, messy stack of papers.  Beside the desk sits a black three drawer filing cabinet, and across from it, on the opposite wall, are two padded chairs.

“Have a seat, hon, and tell me what’s going on.”  Trey rests his butt against the edge of his desk and leans back to brace himself on his hands, gripping the edge.

If I was a different girl, in a different world, I could totally flirt with his position.  Situate myself between his thick, muscled thighs, rest my hands against his tight pecs.  I wonder if there’s a girl out there with his heart.  He has an abundance of sweetness and charm, and I want that for him.  He deserves to have a good woman who’ll look out for him.

When I finally perch against the edge of my seat, Trey says, “You look so tired,” in the gentlest voice I’ve ever heard.  Tears prick the corners of my eyes.  If I was foolish enough, I’d think he really cared.

“I’m okay,” I lie.  I’m not even close.  Especially not after this morning.

“Talk to me.  What’s up?”

I blow out a deep breath.  “Okay, so I promise I wasn’t doing anything I shouldn’t have been.  I just need to know the truth.”  My gaze drops to study Trey’s black and white Nike’s while I await his answer.

“So…what do you need to know?”  When he speaks, my eyes flicker to meet his, and I’m mildly surprised to see a hint of suspicion there, along with concern.  Oh crap, this isn’t going to be good.

“Well, Jacoby and I haven’t really been on speaking terms in a while.”  Trey nods without losing eye contact, so I take a deep breath and continue.  “Um, I really wanted to talk to him.  We kind of left things…uncertain.”  Shit, why does this have to be so hard?  Why does it feel like the room is shrinking, and I’m sweating even though I’m in jeans and a light hoodie?

I cough to clear my suddenly parched throat.

“It’s okay.  You can talk to me.  Don’t be nervous, just tell me what happened so I can help you.”

Seriously, I really, really hope he has a good woman, because he’s a really, really nice guy.

I nod and lace my fingers together to keep from fidgeting.  Otherwise I’m going to tear the paper in my hands to shreds.  “Okay, so this morning I wanted to talk to him, so I drove over to his place.  And when I pulled up, this tall, blonde woman was getting into her car.  I don’t think she saw me, because she just drove away, but I’m positive she came from his house.  Anyway, I went to the door to see if he was home, even though it really sucked to see another woman leaving his place.”

My fingers tremble as I wipe away the wetness gathering in the corner of my eye.

“So, I open the screen door to knock, and this paper falls to the ground.  I’m stupid and shouldn’t have looked at it, but really, what would you do?” I finish, my voice shaking on the last few words.  I’d give anything to feel unaffected if he’s seeing somebody else, but give me a break, it freaking hurts.

“Can I see the note?” Trey asks gently as he moves to stand in front of me.  I don’t answer; instead I lift the paper between us.  Trey grasps the note between his thumb and pointer finger, but instead of taking it, he gives it a gentle shake to get my attention.  My wet gaze finds his soft one, and I let out a small hiccup.

“Honey, listen to me.  I’m going to read this, see if I can get the gist of what’s going on, but you do not need to cry.  I know Jacoby, and that man is crazy over you.  This is all going to work out, okay?”

If he saw the model-esque blonde leaving Jacoby’s this morning, I seriously doubt he’d be saying this to me.  But what do I know?  They’ve been friends a lot longer than I’ve been in this screwy picture.  Nodding my head, I release the paper and turn slightly in my chair to study the blank wall while chewing on my thumbnail.

When had I let my life get more complicated?  I swore to myself after the drama from last year I would keep my head down and finish school quietly.  I wanted nothing more than to get my degree and save enough money to leave this town.  I feel like I failed myself.  It’s not like I had set ridiculously high goals for myself, but by allowing Jacoby into my life, it’s like I opened Pandora’s Box.

He made me feel things I never have before and didn’t think I would until I was long gone from this town and living a normal life.  My goals were always to save enough money and go to college.  Make something of myself.  Maybe go to nursing school or become a Paramedic.  I always thought somewhere in my late twenties or early thirties I’d become serious about finding someone to settle down with.  I was never deluded with images of prince charming or soulmates.  I just wanted someone who made me laugh and made me happy.  Sure, he’d have flaws, but as long as he loved me, I’d be doing okay.

But even the greatest of cynics can’t deny there was something serendipitous about our late night encounter on the side of an empty highway.  From the moment I met him, Jacoby brought out emotions in me I never knew existed.  He melted the cage surrounding my heart and brought the greatest relief, even more powerful than my blade.  I haven’t hurt myself in weeks.  He gave me the control I craved by giving me freedom.  Freedom from fear, freedom from judgment, freedom to be loved.

In doing so, even if he’s already moved on, he’s given me the freedom to fight for him.  For us.

In coming here today, I knew there was a chance Trey would confirm my suspicion.  But I also knew deep in my heart, I’d fight for Jacoby either way.  Skinny, blonde bitch be damned.

“Fucking Melissa,” Trey swears harshly, pulling me from my thoughts of a bitch smack down.

“I’m sorry?”  Who’s Melissa?  The note wasn’t signed.  I don’t take her familiarity as a good sign, and my hands tremble in my lap.

“This is from Melissa.  She’s, uh, an ex.”

“His ex?”

Trey sighs, rubbing a hand over his short cropped brown hair.  “How much do you know of Jacoby’s past?”

My cheeks flame at his question.  “Um, actually not a lot.  I know he’s only lived here a couple years, but I don’t know why.  We haven’t talked about him much.”  Now I feel stupid.  What kind of person falls for a man they barely know?  Right, a desperate one.  At this point, I feel like I should just keep my head buried in the sand where it’s apparently been for the past two months.

“You two are a piece of work, you know that?” Trey snaps sounding exasperated.  I feel myself becoming defensive at his tone, and my spine straightens.

“It’s not like we haven’t had a lot of shit going on.  So instead of being a jerk, you mind filling me in on what you know so I can get to class?”

Trey shakes his head.  “You know I can’t give you anything Jacoby hasn’t given you himself.  I’m not that kind of friend.”  I open my mouth to protest, but he holds up a large hand in my face.  Suddenly, I have the urge to bite him for shoving his hand in my face.  Bastard.

“Hold up, spitfire.  What I can tell you is Melissa is out of her damn mind with this note.  She was in the picture before you came along, and Jacoby cut her loose.  You have nothing to worry about.”

“You mean to tell me she wasn’t ‘keeping his bed warm’ as she so lovingly put it the last two weeks?” I argue, dramatic air quotes and all.  Sometimes, my immaturity really shines through.

Trey leans down, putting his hands on the armrests of the chair, caging me in and getting in my face.  So close, I can see his bright blue eyes have turned icy.  “No.  I’d swear on my soul that he is d-o-n-e, done with that chick.  He has been since you walked into his life, and he hasn’t even looked at another woman since.”

Whoa.

Holy shit.

“What am I doing, Trey,” I whisper.  “What are we doing?”  He leans back without breaking eye contact and crosses his arms over his huge chest.

“You’re avoiding the truth.  About yourselves, about each other, about your relationship.  I’m just waiting for you both to wake the fuck up and take a look around.  I don’t know how much more it’ll take before you two see what’s right under your goddamned noses.”

“What are you talking about?”

Trey sighs, running his hand across his mouth.  “I’m talking about how I’ve never known two people so obviously made for each other except the two of you.  Quit trying to fight your battles alone and learn to fight them together.”

“How can you say that?  You hardly know me.”

“Yeah, you’re right.  I don’t really know you.  I’ve spent one night with you, but I’m a perceptive guy.  I see you, honey.  And Jacoby talks to me.  We’re tight as brothers.  I don’t have to spend more time around the two of you to know what I know.”

I close my eyes tightly, trying to regulate my breathing when it hits me what he’s saying.  A part of me feels like I should feel betrayed but the more logical part of me feels relieved.  Relieved I don’t have to relive my shameful story once again with the best friend of the man I’m falling for.  Relieved that for once I have an unattached person I’d trust to give me an objective, honest opinion.

“He told you, didn’t he?  You know about me?”

Trey takes a step closer and grabs my hand firmly between his two.  “Yes, honey.  I know.  What you need to know that it doesn’t change my opinion of you.  I’m awed by your strength and bravery for everything you’ve been through.  And I know Jacoby is, too.”

Tears tickle my eyelashes, and I close my eyes again to push them away.  His words touch me deeply, and I feel incredibly lucky he’s been brought into my life.  “Thank you,” I whisper.  “I should get going, but truly, thank you.”  With his grip still on my hand, Trey pulls me from the chair and wraps me in a tight, protective hug.

“No need to thank me.  That willpower lives inside of you.  Don’t forget it.  Now get out of here and go make things right between the two of you.  I’m sick of him moping around like a little bitch.”

After the morning I’ve had, hell the last two weeks, I didn’t think I’d be able to laugh for a very long time.  But there you go, with a few choice words Trey proves me wrong.  I let out a soft giggle, and he smiles at me with something close to pride in his gaze.  It’s in this moment that I realize if I can save things between Jacoby and me, I’ll also be gaining a loyal, protective friend in Trey.  For the first time in weeks, my world looks just a little bit brighter.

***

The building is the same, the smell of paper and rubber and cleaning products inside it familiar; everything about the place I’ve spent the last three and a half years furthering my education is unchanged.  But somehow knowing I’m wandering down these halls in order to reclaim the other half of my heart makes everything seem different.  For the first time since I stepped foot inside these walls four years ago, it doesn’t feel so lonely.  It might be because I’ve finally found the control I’ve craved my entire life, and it doesn’t come from a sharp metal blade.  It might be that I’m finally ready to fight like hell for something I want more than my next breath.  Or maybe it’s the simple fact that I know he’s here.  That alone has the vise grip of loneliness loosening its hold.

My feet carry me down the familiar halls, and my heart beats faster with each step.  I follow the stairs up to the second floor, and as I round the landing, those steps falter.  I come to a complete halt as my eyes come to rest on Jacoby standing outside his classroom.  He’s leaning against the doorway with his hands tucked into the pockets of his gray slacks, his chocolate eyes pinned to the spot where I stopped as though he were waiting for me.

Please, let him be waiting for me.

Somehow, I manage to unglue my feet, and as I take that first tentative step in his direction the most heart stopping, shy grin breaks out across his face.  God, I want to run and throw myself in his arms and beg him to never leave me again.  I want to cry for how sorry I am.  I want to take his smooth strands in my hands, drag his mouth to mine, and kiss him until we’re both panting for air.

But just like breaking through the surface after being underwater, the noises and people surrounding us permeate the soundlessness I’ve experienced, and my senses return.

It doesn’t matter.  The people rushing past me don’t matter.  The yells of my classmates, the sound of the bell, none of it matters.  The only thing I care about is that he’s here.

He’s here.

And I’m ready.

I stop a respectable distance away, having enough wits about me to be cautious.  We may be on our way to overcoming the fight with our hearts, but I’m not about to forfeit our victory by getting caught this close to the finish line.

“Good morning, Mr. Ryan.”

“Morning, Tatum.  Did you have a nice weekend?”  His voice wraps around me like velvet.  I missed the sound of my name on his lips so much these past two weeks.

“It was uneventful.  I worked most of it,” I reply quietly.  The last thing I want to do is seem needy, but I want him to know I missed him.  The final bell rings, and I’m going to be late.  The hall around us is now empty.

Jacoby steps back to let me pass him, but as I move, he grabs my bicep with a firm grip.  The heat from his touch seems to sear straight into my bones.

He lowers his mouth to my ear, and his warm breath across my skin sends a shiver down my spine.  “Mine was quiet, too.  I missed you, Sweetheart.”  His voice is rough and husky, and my eyes snap to his where remorse and pain are swirling in the milky depths.

“Me too,” I whisper back.

The four-point-five hours between second period and calculus seemed to take an eternity.  We spent the forty three minutes of second period discreetly texting one another while his students took a test and I hid my phone from my study hall teacher.  Besides the few messages checking up and promising to talk later, we haven’t uttered a word.  The silence is torture.  I want to claw my way out of my own skin.

We have our own test to take in calculus, so at least I’m occupied when we’re finally in the same room again.  I feel as though I can breathe easier just having Jacoby near.

When I finish my test, I send a quick message to Emerson cancelling our plans for the evening.  She’s been my rock lately, coming over on my days off to keep me occupied and even spending the night after I got home from work a few times.  After my mental collapse a couple weeks ago, I ended up breaking down and telling her everything.

To say she was shocked is a colossal understatement.  At first, she was angry.  She swore enough times to put a sailor to shame and called Jacoby every name she could think of just short of a pedophile.  Then she yelled at me about finding someone my own age who actually cared about my wellbeing and not about getting into my pants.  That was the first time I’d smiled in a week.  Emerson knew all about my past hookups with Wyatt, and even though she didn’t like the guy, she never said anything about his age or his intentions.  I don’t know what her hang up about Jacoby was, but I think she was more hurt I kept it a secret than anything actually pertaining to him.

All it took was me confessing I was falling for him to sober her up.  She took one look at my face before breaking down into tears and apologizing for being such a bitch.  After that, she became much brighter in regards to Jacoby and even tried to remain positive about the entire situation while I was feeling the exact opposite.

So when I tell her I’m cancelling in order to set my heart straight, she texts back immediately.

I want to know EVERY detail!! Good luck, babe.  Ily

I text back, I will.

Which brings me to now, five minutes before the bell signaling the end of class.  I want to scream at the clock to move faster, because the only thing standing between me and Jacoby now is five freaking minutes.

My fingers drum on the edge of my desk loud enough to begin to annoy me.  I start to pack my bag to keep from fidgeting, and when I finish, I look up and lock eyes with Jacoby.  He’s sitting behind his desk with a small smirk and twinkling eyes.  His burgundy shirt has the top two buttons undone exposing the tanned ridges of his throat.  I’m itching to get my hands on him again.  To feel his hands on me again.  Only a few more minutes before we can begin to put the past behind us.

The sound of the bell makes me jump, and I take a slow, deep breath to stop myself from diving headfirst over Jacoby’s desk and onto his lap.  Instead, I calmly stand and gather my bag, pretending to follow the rest of my peers out into the hall when his voice stops me in my tracks.

“Tatum, a word, please?”

A few people glance back at the sound of his voice and make eyes at me as they pass, but as far as I can tell, not one looks suspicious.

I stop in front of his wooden desk, with its neat piles of papers, and meet Jacoby’s stare.  I see sadness and longing and lust swirling in the depths, which causes a lump of emotion to rise in my throat.  I cough to clear it.

“Yes, sir?”

His nostrils flare at the title, and a low rumble sounds from his throat.  “One minute,” he responds before making his way around the desk and to the door.  He pulls a set of keys from his pocket and locks the door before stalking back towards me.

I can’t look away from watching his body move unhurriedly towards me.  His familiar sweet, woodsy scent envelops me when he reaches me, and tears prick my eyes at how much I’ve missed him.  I yelp in surprise when he suddenly grabs me by my biceps and backs me up against the wall.  My heart is threatening to break out of my chest.  “Jacoby,” I whisper, needing him to talk to me.  We have so much to say.

“Christ, I’ve missed you.”  That’s all he says.  Four beautiful words to convey the depth of what these past couple weeks have done to him.  Four words before his mouth slams down on mine, and he takes my lips in a heated, bruising kiss that has my blood singing through my veins and the world around me splintering away.

I open my lips and slip my tongue into his mouth, tangling it with his.  Jacoby tastes like a sweet peppermint latte.  One of his strong hands wraps around the long waves of my hair, and the other slips down to my waist, sliding beneath the black concert tee I’m wearing.  His calloused hands forge a trail of fire along my skin to my back where he slides his fingers into the waistband of my jeans.

I’m hot.  I’m scorching; yet, I shiver from the feel of his hands on me, of his lips on mine.  I’m burning and numb, but I feel perfect.

Jacoby moans as he lowers his hand into my pants to cup my ass.  “So fucking perfect,” he breathes against my mouth before lowering his lips to my neck.

“I’ve never been as lonely,” I moan quietly, “as I was without you.  Ah!” I cry out when he slides one thick finger through my wetness.

“You’ll never be lonely again.”

I grind my body against his intruding fingers in the most enticing way.  “I need you.  Please, Jacoby.”  My fingers tangle with his messy locks, pulling his mouth back to mine.  I slowly stroke his tongue with my own before sucking it into my mouth.  The moan I elicit begins deep in his chest, the vibrations of it bouncing against my own.

“Then take me,” he grunts as I grind down on his fingers again.

As good as he feels caressing the most sensitive part of me, I suddenly have an idea.  Something I haven’t been able to do with him considering our intimate relationship had been relatively short.

Using the element of surprise, and no small amount of strength, I slam my mouth back down on his and twist my body, forcing us to switch position and his back to crash against the wall.  I leave one hand tangled in his hair and quickly work the button on his slacks with the other one.  When they come undone, I slowly lower the zipper and reach into his boxer briefs to grip his hard erection.

“Holy shit, Sweetheart.  That feels incredible.”

I smile against his lips, knowing it’s about to hit a whole other level.

Carefully, I drop to my knees in front of him, and before he can react, I lower my mouth over his hard flesh.  I glide my tongue from base to tip before swirling it gently around the head.  Jacoby’s hands slide into my hair when I repeat the motion again before beginning a slow sucking rhythm.

“Fuck.  You feel so good,” he grunts.  His hips thrust along with the motion of my mouth like he wants to keep as much contact as possible.

My lips and tongue move up and down the smooth, silky skin of his shaft that is now completely lubricated with my saliva.  I add my hand to the motion, tugging and twisting with the same speed as my mouth.  The salty sweet taste of him has me moaning around his erection, my own ache beginning to rise between my legs.

“Just like that.  Just like that,” Jacoby chants on a hiss of breath.  I peek up at him behind my eyelashes and can see his teeth are clenched tight, and a muscle is jumping in his jaw.  The sight and sounds make me feel powerful.  I’ve never felt as triumphant with my blade as I do right now.

“I need more of you.”  Before the words register my desired filled brain, Jacoby grasps me beneath my armpits and hauls me to my feet.  Abruptly, he spins me so I’m facing away from him, yanks my jeans and thong down my legs, and bends me over the nearest desk with a hand between my shoulder blades.  Besides that small amount of contact, he isn’t touching me, and I’m panting as he crushes my breasts to the desk.  God, just the knowledge that he’s about to fuck me is making my already wet core, dripping.

However, I let out a shocked shriek when it isn’t his shaft sliding along my core, but his tongue.  Jacoby glides his tongue in and out of my wet folds while his lips nip and suck at my flesh.  My legs begin to shake, and I grip the edges of the desk so I don’t topple onto the floor.

“Jacoby, please,” I whimper when the sensation becomes too much.

He nips the inside of my thigh with his teeth, and I groan.

“Quiet.”

“Jac—Oh!”  Using his hands on my hips, Jacoby yanks my lower body towards his face until I’m up on my tip toes, my torso flush to the desk.  He buries his face between my thighs and plunges his tongue inside of me in a rapid rhythm.

My legs are shaking, my sex quivering, and my head is somewhere floating between the ozone and the thermosphere when it hits me.

“I’m c-coming,” I cry and sink my teeth into my lip to keep from screaming loudly.  My body trembles from head to toe, and before I’ve even fully come down, I feel Jacoby slowly pushing his way inside me.  “Oh God, yes,” I groan at the fullness.

“I’ve missed the sounds you make when you come,” he whispers in my ear as he pulls all the way out and slowly pushes back inside causing me to whimper.  “The way you tremble.”  Out.  In.  “I’ve missed your smart mouth.”  Out.  In.  “Your beautiful laugh.”

One of his arms is slung diagonally across my chest, the other wrapped around my hips.  I lean back, more secure in his hold, before threading both my hands through each of his.  His arms squeeze me tighter against his body, and his lips trail down my neck, back up to my ear while he continues his leisurely pace.

“I missed protecting you.”  Out.  In.  “Drying your tears.”  Out.  In.  “But most of all,” he begins, nipping my earlobe before running the light stubble of his cheeks along my neck causing goose bumps to erupt along my skin.  “I’ve fallen in love with you.  And I left without letting you know.”

Tears track silently down my cheeks as I revel in all the pleasure this man brings to me.  My heart has never felt so full, my body not once as sated.  I twist my head back to look him in the eyes.

“You love me?”

“Yes, Sweetheart.  I love you.”  His face is open and honest, and I’ve never been more certain he’s telling me the truth.  “I needed to get my head on straight.  But now that I have you here,” he lifts a hand to gently caress my temple.  “And here,” our hands threaded at my waist give me a squeeze while he slides in and out with a bit more tempo.  “I never want to let you go from here.”  Jacoby lifts our right hands around my waist until they’re both pressed against his chest over his heart.

“Then don’t let me,” I whisper back as the friction between my legs increases.  He makes me feel so incredibly good that I can feel it building again.

“I won’t,” he grunts, picking up the pace.  “I don’t expect you to say it back until you’re ready.  Just wanted.”  Grunt.  “You to know.”  Grunt.  “How I feel.”

Oh God.  My walls begin to clench around him.  “Make me feel it, too,” I pant.

“I plan on it.”

So hot.  So beautiful.  My body stiffens and begins to shake.

“Fuck, Tatum.  Come with me.  I’m waiting for you.”

His words, the rough, husky edge of his voice, are all it takes for me to shatter in his arms.

“Yes, baby.  Never better.  Never.”

We come down slowly together.  I’m clutching the desk for fear of crumbling to the ground, and Jacoby has is face buried in my hair just breathing in my scent.

“Meet me at my house in twenty minutes.  You leave first and I’ll be right behind you.”

I don’t even have to consider his request.  At this point, there’s only one answer that matters.  “I’ll see you there.”

Jacoby kisses the side of my head before letting me go.  We both right our clothing and exchange shy grins with one another.  A swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach.  For the first time in a really long time, I feel like I’m going to be okay.  I give him one last lingering smile before I slip out the door and head toward his place.  I know we have some less-than-happy topics to discuss, but I don’t have the usual feeling of dread.  In fact, I feel lighter than I have as far as I can remember.